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Motherhood

Customers 'speechless' after distillery men's room becomes a haven for dads

Can you spot it?

Customers 'speechless' after distillery men's room becomes a haven for dads
thefactorygrows/reddit

A man was recently visiting a distillery in Longmont, Colorado — called Abbott & Wallace — when he had to use the bathroom. What he saw in there left him with "no words."

He posted a photo of the bathroom, where users lost their minds over the presence of an actual, honest-to-God changing table.

It took me a minute to figure out what was so special about this picture. Looks like a bar bathroom to me!

But if you look closely, and if you've changed enough diapers on pee-soaked floors, you'll see it pretty quickly.

thefactorygrows/Reddit

Yes, the dads of Reddit were absolutely stunned to see a proper changing table with a pad and some basic supplies (like wipes) provided for hands-on dads.

It doesn't seem like a big deal, and it shouldn't be! But it absolutely is.

A lack of changing tables in men's restrooms has been a problem for as long as there have been bathrooms.

Some dads have even had to learn how to change babies on surfaces like sinks or even their own lap.

In recent years, there's been a push to get more changing tables in men's rooms. Legally, it's left to individual states or cities — changing tables in men's restrooms aren't required in most states, although that's starting to change. States like New York and California have requirements on the books, as do places like Baltimore and Dallas.

Usually, the changing tables installed are the generic plastic fold down kind. Better than nothing!

To see a more thoughtful, comfortable, and thorough set up like the one at Abbott & Wallace is truly amazing.

Not only is the pad more comfortable, there's actually a spot for dads to set down a diaper bag or their own supplies without putting it directly onto the floor. There's ample room to maneuver. It's just a fantastic set up.

"Clearly owned by a dad who enjoys being a dad. Good job, dad!" said one Redditor.

"[I] will make a point to go there soon because of this!" said another.

"Why are there urinals in the woman’s bathroom?!" joked u/Bishops-Guest.

And EatonMetsGuy probably said it best:

"This right here is worth a 5 star review on like google or Facebook or app of your choice.

"These are the places that make the world better"

A lack of proper changing surfaces is not only frustrating for dads, it puts a greater burden on moms, who then have to become the "default" diaper changers when families go out.

The last thing moms need is the inability to ever take a break. They're already shouldering so much of the parenting load, it's ridiculous to force every single diaper change on them when families are out in public.

And, perhaps shockingly, a lot of dads like changing diapers! It's a core part of the parenting experience, and we want to participate in the act of taking care of our own kids.

Accommodating all different kinds of families and parents helps everyone who visits your bar or restaurant have more fun.

If they have more fun, they keep coming back again and again.

Changing tables in the men's room are just good business. More than that, it's just the right thing to do.

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Education

A school assignment asked for 3 benefits of slavery. This kid gave the only good answer.

The school assignment was intended to spark debate and discussion — but isn't that part of the problem?

Trameka Brown-Berry/Facebook

A school assignment asked for 3 "good" reasons for slavery.



It's not uncommon for parents to puzzle over their kids' homework.

Sometimes, it's just been too long since they've done long division for them to be of any help. Or teaching methods have just changed too dramatically since they were in school.

And other times, kids bring home something truly inexplicable.

Trameka Brown-Berry was looking over her 4th-grade son Jerome's homework when her jaw hit the floor.

"Give 3 'good' reasons for slavery and 3 bad reasons," the prompt began.

You read that right. Good reasons ... FOR SLAVERY.

Lest anyone think there's no way a school would actually give an assignment like this, Brown-Berry posted photo proof to Facebook.



In the section reserved for "good reasons," (again, for slavery), Jerome wrote, "I feel there is no good reason for slavery thats why I did not write."

Yep. That about covers it.

The school assignment was intended to spark debate and discussion — but isn't that part of the problem?

The assignment was real. In the year 2018. Unbelievable.

The shockingly offensive assignment deserved to be thrown in the trash. But young Jerome dutifully filled it out anyway.

His response was pretty much perfect.

We're a country founded on freedom of speech and debating ideas, which often leads us into situations where "both sides" are represented. But it can only go so far.

There's no meaningful dialogue to be had about the perceived merits of stripping human beings of their basic living rights. No one is required to make an effort to "understand the other side," when the other side is bigoted and hateful.

In a follow-up post, Brown-Berry writes that the school has since apologized for the assignment and committed to offering better diversity and sensitivity training for its teachers.

But what's done is done, and the incident illuminates the remarkable racial inequalities that still exist in our country. After all, Brown-Berry told the Chicago Tribune, "You wouldn't ask someone to list three good reasons for rape or three good reasons for the Holocaust."

At the very end of the assignment, Jerome brought it home with a bang: "I am proud to be black because we are strong and brave ... "

Good for Jerome for shutting down the thoughtless assignment with strength and amazing eloquence.


This article originally appeared on 01.12.18

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Science

5 things 'desire paths' - or human-made shortcuts - reveal about people

Going off the beaten path is a heavily studied phenomenon.

Gordon Joly & wetwebwork/Flickr

If you've ever walked through a public park or across a grassy college campus, you've definitely noticed the phenomenon. Inevitably, there's a paved path or sidewalk leading from Point A to Point B. And then, branching off of that path, is a well-worn patch of dirt where people have chosen to walk instead.

Often the unofficial path is more efficient or more pleasant, and it's just so inviting that you can't help but branch off and walk it yourself. These human-made shortcuts are called Desire Paths — or sometimes Cow Paths or Elephant Paths. (Named as such because big, lumbering animals like to take the shortest route between two points.)

Some people say Desire Paths occur when a design fails to connect with human behavior.

Which makes them incredibly useful for urban planners and other people who design walking paths! Desire Paths are studied heavily, and some places even choose to pave over them once they appear, making them more official. (While others intentionally block them off).

There are even cases where no paving was done until Desire Paths naturally formed — when crowds of people did the engineers' and urban planners' work for them.

People are absolutely fascinated by Desire Paths.

The subreddit devoted to them has over fifty-thousand members! There are massive groups on Flickr where people share photos of desire paths they find in the wild. And a recent X thread of desire paths racked up almost thirty million views.

Why is it that Desire Paths spark such a reaction in us? If I had to guess, it's because Desire Paths are small acts of rebellion. They are literally a visual representation of going off the beaten path. The symbolism is powerful in a world that can feel very mundane and predictable.

They're also something that we create together. No one single person creates a new path. They hold a collective wisdom that resonates deeply somewhere in our souls.

And they teach us about ourselves, believe it or not. Here are a few things we can learn about ourselves from Desire Paths.

1. We're not superstitious, but we're a little stitious.

There are lots of examples of Desire Paths forming around archways or leaning objects.

Sure, you could say people walk around so they don't bump their heads, or maybe to make room for passing cyclists.

But I like to think we just don't want to risk the bad karma.

2. Anything that gets in the way of a straight line is annoying.

If we're walking in a straight line, we generally would like to continue in that straight line.
A decorative circular garden right in the middle of the path might seem like a good idea — but only if you want to see it get trampled.

In the same vein, why walk in a complicated squiggly shape when we can just cut right across?

A paved path with dirt path branching off through treeswetwebwork/Flickr

3. We like gentle hills more than stairs.

It's surprising and fascinating how often people will avoid going up and down stairs if they can cut through the grass instead.

Human beings' hatred of stairs is well-documented, but it's interesting to see it play out visually.

A path worn in the dirt next to stairsGordon Joly/Flickr

Some studies estimate walking up stairs is twice as hard on the body compared to walking up a hill.

A path work into tall grass next to stairsthepismire/Flickr

4. We don't like sharp turns.

If you know people, you won't be surprised to hear that we like to cut corners!

A dirt path next to sidewalkDan Keck/Flickr

We're not robots! We don't like turning at right angles. Plus, if we're in a rush, a more efficient path saves us time.

A dirt path cutting through graveyardGeorge Redgrave/Flickr

5. We like feeling connected to the people that came before.

Holloways are a special sort of Desire Path, carved deep into forests and other nature. They are often ancient. They are ever-changing.

A dirt path carved into forestBy Romain Bréget, CC BY-SA 4.0

By walking through these paths, we become a part of them and a part of history.

A quote from Rebecca Solnit sums it up perfectly:

“Walking is a mode of making the world as well as being in it.”

So go ahead and take the road less traveled. Follow your intuition. You might be on to something, and it could be the beginning of a new and better path!

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Family

Technology expert shares the one message that can get teens to rethink their screentime

“Social media is free because you pay for it with your time.”

via Dino Ambrosi (used with permission)

Dino Ambrosi speaks at a school assembly.

In a 2023 TEDx Talk at Laguna Blanca School, Dino Ambrosi made a startling revelation that perfectly underlines the big question of the smartphone era: What is my time worth? Ambrosi is the founder of Project Reboot and an expert at guiding teens and young adults to develop more empowering relationships with technology.

Assuming the average person now lives to 90, after calculating the average time they spend sleeping, going to school, working, cooking, eating, doing chores, sleeping, and taking care of personal hygiene, today’s 18-year-olds have only 334 months of their adult lives to themselves.

"How you spend this time will determine the quality of your life,” Ambrosi says. However, given the tech habits of today’s young people, most of those months will be spent staring at screens, leaving them with just 32 months to leave their mark on the world. "Today, the average 18-year-old in the United States is on pace to spend 93% of their remaining free time looking at a screen,” Ambrosi says.


dino ambrosi, teens and technology, smartphone addictionAn 18-year-olds remaining time, in months. via TEDx

The idea that an entire generation will spend most of their free time in front of screens is chilling. However, the message has a silver lining. Sharing this information with young people can immediately impact how they spend their time.

How to get teens to reduce their screentime

Ambrosi says his work with Project Reboot through on-campus initiatives, school assemblies, and parent workshops has taught him that teens are more concerned about time wasted on their phones than the damage it may do to their mental health. Knowing the topic that resonates can open the door for an effective dialogue about a topic that’s hard for many young people to discuss. When teens realize they are giving their entire lives away for free, they are more apt to reconsider their relationship with smartphones.

“I actually don't get through to a lot of teens, as well as when I help them realize the value of their time and then highlight the fact that that time is being stolen from them,” Ambrosi told Upworthy.

A Common Sense Media study shows that the average 13 to 18-year-old, as of 2021, spent an average of 8 hours and 39 minutes a day on entertainment screentime.

“It’s important to get them to view time as their most valuable resource that they can use to invest in themselves or enjoy life and tick the boxes on their bucket list. I really want them to see that that's something they should take control of and prioritize because we're all under the impression that social media is free, but it's actually not free. We just pay for it with our time.”

dino ambrosi, project reboot, teens smartphonesDino AMbrosi speaks at Berkeley.via Dino Ambrosi (used with permission)

Ambrosi believes that young people are less likely to hand their time to tech companies for free when they understand its value. “I find that kids really respond to that message because nobody wants to feel manipulated, right? And giving them that sense of being wronged, which I think they have been, by tech companies that are off operating on business models that are not aligned with their well-being, is important.”

He also believes parents should be sympathetic and nonjudgmental when talking to young people about screentime because it’s a struggle that just about everyone faces and feels shame about. A little understanding will prevent them from shutting down the conversation altogether.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

How to reduce my screentime

Ambrosi has some suggestions to help people reduce their screentime.

The ClearSpace app

ClearSpace forces you to take a breathing delay before using a distracting app. It also asks you to set a time limit and allows you to set a number of visits to the site per day. If you eclipse the number of visits, it sends a text to a friend saying you exceeded your budget. This can help people be accountable for one another’s screentime goals.

Don’t sleep with your phone

Ambrosi says to charge your phone far away from your bedside stand when you sleep and use an alarm clock to wake up. If you do have an alarm clock on your phone, set up an automation so that as soon as you turn off the alarm, it opens up an app like Flora or Forest and starts an hour-long timer that incentivizes you to be off your phone for the first hour of the day.

“In my experience, if you can stay off screens for the last hour and the first hour of the day, the other 22 hours get a lot easier because you get the quality rest and sleep that you need to wake up fully charged, and now you're more capable of being intentional because you are at your best," Ambrosi told Upworty.

Keep apps in one place

Ambrosi says to keep all of your social apps and logins on one device. “I try to designate a specific use for each device as much as possible,” he told Upworthy. “I try to keep all my social media time and all my entertainment on my phone as opposed to my computer because I want my computer to be a tool for work.”

Even though there are significant challenges ahead for young people as they try to navigate a screen-based world while keeping them at a healthy distance, Ambrosi is optimistic about the future.

“I'm really optimistic because I have seen in the last year, in particular, that the receptiveness of student audiences has increased by almost an order of magnitude. Kids are waking up to the fact that this is the problem. They want to have this conversation,” he told Upworthy. “Some clubs are starting to address this problem at several schools right now; from the talks I've given this semester alone, kids want to be involved in this conversation. They're creating phone-free spaces on college and high school campuses by their own accord. I just think we have a huge potential to leverage this moment to move things in the right direction.”

For more information on Ambrosi’s programs, visit ProjectReboot.School.

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Family

Parents share videos of how 'The Happy Song' makes their babies stop crying immediately

It's almost miraculous how well it works.

Photo credit: Canva

Soothing a crying baby can be a challenge.

Everyone who's been a parent knows that babies cry and it's not always obvious why. You can run through the list of possibilities and try to address each one—hungry, thirsty, sleepy, uncomfortable, gassy, wanting to be held, needing a diaper change—and they still might cry.

Babies cry for a reason, but because they can't talk, they can't tell us what the reason is. Once all of the logical reasons have been eliminated, all you can do is try different things to see what helps—bouncing or rocking, going outside, taking a bath or some other distraction.

And thanks to researchers and a musician from the U.K., "The Happy Song" might be worth adding to the Crying Baby Toolbox.

"The Happy Song," performed by Imogen Heap, was specifically designed to include elements that induce happiness in babies. Researchers surveyed 2,300 parents in the U.K. to find out what sounds made their babies happy, and the top answers including sneezing (51%), animal noises (23%), baby laughter (28%) and other sounds ultimately got incorporated into the song.

As the university shared on its website when the song was created in 2016:

"The two-minute tune takes us on a bouncing melodic journey of cute lyrics and funny sounds - from the sky to the ocean, on a bike, submarine and even a rocket. 4/4 tempo was chosen as it is the most popular and easy to dance to. Imogen composed the song in the key of E flat as it was the key Scout sang a melody in on their first studio session."

The song was tested on dozens of babies and adjusted until they had the perfect mix of happy. It was truly a collaborative effort, with Dr. Caspar Addyman and Professor Lauren Stewart, C&G baby club, Imogen Heap, advertising agency BETC London and music consultancy Felt Music all contributing to the project.The final result even includes Heap's husband whistling and the sounds of a Pomeranian dog.

Parents have been sharing how "The Happy Song" stops crying in its tracks, and it's almost miraculous how well it works for a whole lot of babes out there.

Watch how this young baby stops crying as soon as he hears the song start to play:


@salliehasemeier01

“The Happy Song” by Imogen Heap is literally MAGIC. #firsttimemom #babyboy #4monthsold #fyp

Here are twins that were getting fussy in their high chairs, but as soon as they heard the beginning of "The Happy Song," they stopped:


And yet another baby in full fuss mode who immediately calmed down when the song played:


@lana.kearney

I am a wizard and can make your baby stop crying #babyhack #thehappysong #parentinghack

A lot of parents have found the song particularly helpful in the car. Some babies love to ride in the car and others hate it, but when a baby cries while strapped into a car seat, there's not a whole lot you can do. It's not like you can safely pick them up and bounce them on your knee in a moving vehicle. And if you're the person driving, you can't even really reach the baby to soothe them any other way. So having this song in your pocket to pull out during a screeching car ride could be a lifesaver, as it was for this mom:

@whataboutaub

Does this work for your baby??? #baby #newbaby #parentingtips #parentinghack #pregnant #newborn #happysong #happy #roadtrip #family #mom #newmom #momhack #momtips #fyp #trending

Parents in the comments share how much the song has helped them when nothing else seemed to work to calm down their wee ones.

"Haha we listen to this song 100x a day. 😭"

"My baby’s favorite song. Always helps calm her."

"This is a bop! not as annoying as other songs for kids 🤣 sing it constantly."

"I discovered this before my baby was even born, I’m not even joking when I say I owe Imogen a check at this point because this song has never failed to calm my baby boy down. He’s 12 months now."

"Is you memorize the song he’ll stop when you start singing it to🥰 at least my son did lol."

"Is the only thing that makes my 10 month old stay still for a diaper change. The negative? It’s in my head 24/7."

"In home daycare provider! I turn it on when they’re getting super upset and it works!!"

A few parents shared that it doesn't seem to work for their baby, but most pledge their eternal gratitude to Imogen Heap and the others who were behind the song's creation. If you've had a crying baby, you know what you'd give to find the magical thing that might get them to stop and the desperation you feel when it seems like nothing is working.

With 62 million views on YouTube, this song is clearly working for a whole lot of folks. It's definitely worth a try, at least.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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Joy

'Flattery works': Plus, 14 other things 'everyone knows' but is afraid to say in public

Here's a glimpse into what people really think.

via Canva/Photos

A woman keeping herself from dropping truth bombs.

For most of us, there is an enormous chasm between what we think and say aloud. Comedians, artists and writers have the privilege of being able to speak their minds publicly, but for most of us, it’s hard to find the right time to be brutally honest.

That causes a big problem because many of us are tortured by thoughts and feelings that we think may be inappropriate. When, in reality, many folks feel the same way, they just can’t share them either.

That’s why the internet is so awesome. It gives us a place to be honest and share what we wouldn’t discuss at a polite cocktail party.

A Redditor named Fastenbauer asked folks on the AskReddit forum to share something that “everybody knows” but “nobody says aloud,” and it received over 3,500 responses. Many revolved around ways life is inherently unfair and how human civilization is more precarious than we’d like to admit.

Some of the ideas the posters shared are a little dark, but that’s okay if it lets some people know they're not the only one who thinks that way.



Here are 15 things that everybody knows but nobody says out loud.

1. Sane parents are a privilege

"Having mentally sane parents is one of the most important privileges in life, yet it isn't talked about nearly as much as race, class etc."

"I don’t think that people who do have mentally sane parents know this or will ever truly understand this."

2. Friendships are fragile

"Some friendships only last as long as they're convenient or beneficial."

"Not all friendships need to be deep and permanent. I don't stay in touch with most of my friends from my former job, but that doesn't mean we weren't friends. If circumstances brought us together again, we'd probably easily continue where we left off."

3. Looks matter

"Looks do matter, and they matter a lot."

"As someone that went from a chubby neckbeard gamer type to a ripped athletic type that actually does skincare and grooming...yeah, yes it does and a lot. It is a night and day difference the way people interact with you."

"Looks determine whether you will get a job, If you can get a date or If a person in public will be nice to you or give you contempt and definitely how people perceive you."



4. Money matters

"And it does buy happiness. Yeah, there are diminishing returns after a certain amount, but more money usually means a happier individual."

"This is because money means financial security. Buying food when you're hungry. Having a home without fear. Freedom to travel an appreciable distance. Not having to worry so much about personal life changes like job loss, pregnancy, or health problems."

5. Flattery works

"Flattery will, in fact, get you everywhere."

"Yeah, you might be the most skilled person in your field, but at some point, you WILL have to play along if you want to get a better salary/position/situation."

6. Being alive is strange

"That being alive at all and conscious is just really, really weird."

"It's like when you wake up from some messed up dream and think, 'What the hell was that? Thank god I'm back in the real world,' only to then realize that you still really have no idea what's going on and never can or will know."

"Why is there anything at all? Seems more probably there would be absolutely nothing. No stuff, life, atoms, etc. everything just never having ever existed. Why is there anything at all?"



7. We all have dark thoughts

"We all have dark thoughts that we don't act on."

"Learning the name for this (intrusive thoughts) and that it's not uncommon was such a huge relief. I love the internet."

8. Emotional intelligence is underrated

"Something I’ve noticed among colleagues is that the ones with strong EI/communication are the ones that are thriving in this difficult market. The soft skills are HUGE and unfortunately only business students learn about it."

"Most people don't even know what it is, and when you tell someone they don't have it, they get angry with you because of it... showing they don't have it."

9. Adulthood doesn't exist

"We are all just kids walking around in grown-up bodies."

"I’m 50. Looking around and NOT seeing any grown-ups is terrifying"

10. Nothing really matters

"Our world is a house of cards. It’s all meaningless, but we all rely on the structure, so no one wants to knock it down."

"The idea of meaning was created by us. There is no meaning or value inherent to anything. We make things have meaning or value through our biased perception."



11. Do you really care?

"When someone asks 'How are you?' they don't actually want to hear how you are."

"The thing is, it’s not actually a question. It’s a polite, perfunctory greeting disguised as a question. And the appropriate counter-greeting is something along the lines of, 'Fine, thanks. And you?' Answering honestly isn’t being radically honest. It’s just messing up the flow of the greeting."

12. Luck is huge

"Everybody knows that success often comes from luck and timing, but we rarely admit it. We prefer to believe it's all hard work and talent."

"To credit something other than hard work is to admit that people aren't fully in control of their own circumstances, which breaks the whole 'work hard, get ahead' schtick."

13. People who get paid the least do most of the work

"Anyone working a fast food job is working way harder than most of us."

14. We're trying our best

"No one actually knows what they're doing. We're all just trying our best."

"Been working at a cellphone retailer for 2 months now and it’s amazing how many guys have been here for years and literally have no idea what buttons do when they’re pushing when doing a sale. There’s maybe one or two that actually understand what they’re doing."

15. Complaining vs. fixing

"Most people spend their time complaining about things out of their control rather than fixing things in their control."

"Also why people get annoyed when you point out solutions, because they tend not to want to focus on solutions to their problems. Only venting about them."


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