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She was upset about her preschooler being suspended. When she spoke to the other moms, it got weird.

When I first heard this story from "This American Life," I was in shock. Hearing this mother's story not only upset me ... it made me worried for my own future children.

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Open Society Foundations


This episode was filled with moments that left me shaking my head, but here are a few that really stuck out:

"The lab coats peered down at a million students' lives — the schools they attended, how they did, when they got in trouble. And they determined that African-American and Hispanic students were twice as likely to receive an out-of-school suspension than their white peers for their first offense." (11:20)



"One more striking thing you can see in the Texas numbers — kids who were suspended were much more likely to be arrested outside of school, three times as likely to come into contact with the juvenile justice system." (12:21)



"In March this year, the Department of Education issued a report that said black children make up 18% of preschoolers, but they make up 48% of preschool children suspended more than once." (15:30)

"And here's the theory he laid out for me: You suspend a kid, he misses school, he finds it hard to catch up, he feels frustrated, falls behind. And maybe just as important, he learns he is bad. Because he feels bad when he's in school, he acts bad." (14:25)



This story and the findings shared in it paint a scary picture of how racial bias affects students of color. Here's hoping that sharing these insights will encourage educators to think carefully about how we discipline students and how it can affect their futures.

Popular

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.


“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.


sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se


Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

via Pixabay

When parents can't step up, should grandparents step in?

A story that recently went viral on Reddit’s AITA forum asks an important question: What is a parent’s role in taking care of their grandchildren? The story is even further complicated because the woman at the center of the controversy is a stepparent.

At the time of writing her post, the woman, 38, met her husband Sam, 47, ten years ago, when his daughter, Leah, 25, was 15. The couple married five years ago after Leah had moved out to go to college.

Leah’s mom passed away when she was 10.

When Leah became pregnant she wanted to keep the baby, but her boyfriend didn’t. After the disagreement, the boyfriend broke up with her. This forced Leah to move back home because she couldn’t afford to be a single parent and live alone on a teacher’s salary.


Leah’s story is familiar to many young mothers facing similar difficulties.

The father isn’t involved in the baby’s life as a caretaker or financially. Sadly, research shows that 33% of all children in the U.S. are born without their biological fathers living in the home.

a young mother holds her baby

Single motherhood comes with unique hardships.

via Alexander Grey/Unsplash

The new mother is a teacher and can’t afford to live on her own with a child. In 2019, a study found that out the top 50 U.S. cities, Pittsburgh is the only one where a new teacher could afford rent.

Today, Portland, OR has joined the very short list of cities where an "average teacher can afford 91.3% of apartments within community distance of their school" according to a recent study.

The stressors of taking care of the baby made Leah realize she needed help.

“But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.”

“Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave the baby at daycare or with a nanny,” the woman continued. “Sam and I both work as well.”

Leah asked her stepmother if she would stay home with the baby. The stepmother said no because she never wanted to have a baby and she has a job. “I asked why Leah can't stay home with the baby herself,” the woman wrote. “She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and needed something else in her life too.”

A woman holds a newborn baby.

The demands of new motherhood are usually all-encompassing.

via Pixabay

After the woman told her stepdaughter no, her husband pressured her to stay home with the baby. But she refused to give up her job to raise her stepdaughter’s child. “Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didn't love her, and my husband is also mad at me,” the woman wrote. The woman asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for “refusing to help my stepdaughter with the baby,” and the community responded with rapturous support.

"[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby. If he wants a family member to look after her baby while she works, then he can do it," user Heavy_Sand5228 wrote.

"This is Leah's baby that she alone chose to have. That doesn't obligate you to change YOUR life to suit her desires. The whole business of saying you don't love her because you won't quit your job to watch her baby is manipulative and messed up, and I'm shocked your husband is siding with her," user SupremeCourtJust-a** added.

Leah and many women like her are in this situation because, in many places, teachers are underpaid, rent is high, and not all dads pay child support, even those required by law.

Another commenter noted that the baby is much more the father’s responsibility than the stepmother's. "To add, Leah should consider seeking child support from her ex. Her kid should be getting that money," Obiterdicta wrote.

While there are resources to help stepparents connect with their stepchildren and step-grandchildren, it's important to remember that the responsibility to raise a child ultimately rests with the parent(s).

This article originally appeared last year.

Community

Family finds surprise gift on mom's memorial bench after leaving balls of yarn as a tribute

"I just hope this is a reminder to everyone that the simplest act of kindness from you can completely brighten a stranger’s day."

Family finds surprise gift on mom's grave after leaving yarn tribute

Losing a loved one is difficult. It feels exceptionally more difficult when the person you've lost is your parent but you do what you can to keep their memory alive. Everyone has their own way of doing this. It could be that they've planted a tree to put their ashes around or they wear their loved one's favorite sweater on rough days.

There's no right or wrong way of paying tribute to someone that has passed as it's usually a personal decision. When Robin Epley, a writer for the Sacramento Bee lost her mother Cynthia in 2019, she and her father went with a bench design for her grave marker so they could sit with her. The bench is made of stone with her mother's picture emblazoned on the front.

On a more recent visit to the memorial bench, the pair decided to leave balls of yarn as a tribute since the mom was an avid crocheter, teaching Robin the craft at just six years old. The small act of remembrance was just that, a tiny gesture that meant something that a passerby may not understand. After leaving, the pair didn't think much of it until they returned for another visit only to find a surprise waiting for them on that very bench.

pink and green flower bouquet on brown concrete wall Photo by Caroline Attwood on Unsplash

Someone had taken the yarn and knitted a scarf out of it, draping it over the area of the bench that displayed Cynthia's name. There was no note left with the handmade gift. Just a scarf created by someone that decided to turn a family's tribute into a piece of wearable love and a couple of bouquets of flowers.

Robin shared a photo of the bench with the knitted scarf visible on X, explaining how the scarf got there, writing, "im sobbing: My mom was a big crocheter, so on her bench at East Lawn, my dad and I left one of her balls of yarn as a tribute. He just went back today after a few weeks to tend to the site, and someone had used the yarn to knit mom a scarf."


People were moved by the act of kindness by a stranger with some even suggesting possible culprits to the artistic endeavor, one of which caught Robin's attention. In a follow up comment, the grieving daughter writes, "I don’t know who did it, though someone has suggested it was the wonderful staff or volunteers at @EastLawnSac, a group which my mom was a part of. I just hope this is a reminder to everyone that the simplest act of kindness from you can completely brighten a stranger’s day."

Others chimed in to share their own stories of loss and ways of coping, while also admiring what this anonymous knitter did for the family of Cynthia.


One person writes, "Oh that is so special. I wear the joggers my mom wore the last time I saw her. I remember she had them on backwards because I could see the pockets. She laughed her familiar laugh for me one last time. That was two years ago. It's getting easier. Thanks for sharing."

Someone else gives their guess on who might have done such a kind gesture, "This is so sweet. I know there are a lot of regular visitors and volunteers who like to care for the memorials, but my money is on a staff member having done this. The staff and leadership at East Lawn are very special people."

Cry Hug GIF by HollyoaksGiphy

Robin and her dad may never find out who made the scarf using the yarn they left behind, but that act of kindness will stay with them both for years to come, and Cynthia would approve.

"Knowing someone out there who didn’t even know my mom cared enough to do this has me in total shambles. honestly, it’s totally something my mom would have done for someone else, karma is real," Robin says in response to another commenter.

It doesn't always take a lot to be kind to others but it can turn someone's day around. Sometimes people just need a reminder that someone out there cares, even if it doesn't always feel that way. Acts of kindness can go a long way.

Fowl Language by Brian Gordon

Brian Gordon is a cartoonist. He's also a dad, which means he's got plenty of inspiration for the parenting comics he creates for his website, Fowl Language (not all of which actually feature profanity). He covers many topics, but it's his hilarious parenting comics that are resonating with parents everywhere.

"My comics are largely autobiographical," Gordon tells me. "I've got two kids who are 4 and 7, and often, what I'm writing happened as recently as that very same day."

Gordon shared 15 of his oh-so-real comics with us. They're all funny 'cause they're true.

Let's get started with his favorite, "Welcome to Parenting," which Gordon says sums up his comics pretty well. "Parenting can be such tedious drudgery," he says, "but if it wasn't also so incredibly rewarding there wouldn't be nearly so many people on the planet."

Truth.

I hope you enjoy these as much as I did.

1.

parenting, comics, humor

“Welcome to parenting."

via Fowl Language

All comics are shared here with Gordon's express permission. These comics are all posted on his website, in addition to his Facebook page. You can also find a "bonus" comic that goes with each one by clicking the "bonus" link. Original. Bonus.

2.

food allergies, fussy, picky eaters

Eating is never fundamental.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

3.

sleep deprivation, children, isolation

Adjusting the coping mechanism.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

4.

ducks, birds, fowl

I used to be cool.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

5.

naps, popcorn, movies

Naps happen.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

6.

politics, advice, education

Rolling with the punches.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

7.

emotions, therapy, emotional maturity

Tears happen.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

8.

insomnia, sleep deprivation, kids

It’s time to get up.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

9.

psychology, toddlers, family

The benefits of experience.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

10.

babies, diapers, responsibility

Is it gas?

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

11.

sociology, grief counseling, dads

Everyone gets therapy, yea.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

12.

moms, dress up, costumes

Everyone has a role to play.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

13.

doctor, medicine, pediatrics

What’s up doc?

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

14.

sports, competition, aggression

Everyone gets a participation ribbon.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

15.

theatrics, advice, Dan Gordon

Perception shifts.

via Fowl Language

Original. Bonus.

I love Gordon's comics so much because they're just about the reality of parenting — and they capture it perfectly.

There's no parenting advice, no judgment, just some humor about the common day-to-day realities that we all share.

When I ask him about the worst parenting advice he's ever received, Gordon relays this anecdote:

"I remember being an absolute sleep-deprived wreck, sitting outside a sandwich shop, wolfing down my lunch quickly beside my 1-month-old son, who was briefly resting his lungs between screaming fits.

A rather nosy woman walked up to me and said, all smugly, 'You should enjoy this time while they're easy.' It was the exact worst thing anyone could have said to me in that moment and I just wanted to curl up on the sidewalk and cry."

Who hasn't been on the receiving end of totally unneeded and unwanted advice? That's why Gordon's comics are so welcome: They offer up a space for us to all laugh about the common experiences we parents share.

Here's to Gordon for helping us chuckle (through the tears).


This article originally appeared eight years ago.

Community

Woman stands for entire 7-hour flight and sparks massive debate on airplane etiquette

Passengers were annoyed, but commenters had some empathetic theories.

envisionaries/TikTok & Leo McLaren/Unsplash

People just can't stop finding new ways to drive each other crazy on airplanes. Whether it's using kids as an excuse to try to switch seats, eating smelly food, standing and block the aisles immediately after landing, or having phone calls on speakerphone, airplanes have become hotbeds of bad behavior. The unique cocktail of travel stress, cramped spaces, alcohol, and altitude seems to have a big effect on our judgment for some reason.

One passenger recently went viral for some interesting behavior during a long flight. And let's just say, her fellow passengers couldn't stand it.

Richard Duong posted a video on TikTok of a passenger several rows ahead of him on a flight. The caption: "Lady stood on my flight the ENTIRE 7 hour duration watching her movie."

Although the video is short, it definitely backs up his claim. Through several clips stitched together, we see a blonde woman standing in the aisle staring at her back-of-seat screen. Lights on? She's standing there. Lights go off? Still standing there.

Duong mentioned in a comment that she did return to her seat when the pilot turned on the seatbelt light, but otherwise, she was standing the entire time.

He also mentioned that passengers on the flight were definitely annoyed. People asking to squeeze by to get to the bathroom, and even the flight attendants trying to serve drinks, were less than thrilled that she was blocking the aisle for so long.

I can imagine it made the passengers around her uneasy, too. Have you ever sensed someone standing over you and felt a sort of unexplainable anxiety? It must have driven the people seated near this woman absolutely bonkers!

We've heard of people having too much to drink or taking their socks off during a flight, but standing the entire time has to be a new one.

@envisionaries

#onthisday


Commenters on the video — unlike some passengers on the flight — had a lot of empathy for the mysterious standing woman.

Apparently, there are a lot of reasons someone might want to stand for *checks notes* seven hours straight.

Some people suggested the woman had a clotting disorder and couldn't sit down for long.

Others speculated about back issues like sciatica, a broken tailbone, severe motion sickness, a herniated disc, or fibromyalgia. Someone said the woman probably had restless leg syndrome.

interior of an airplane with seats and movie screensAlev Takil/Unsplash

The theories just kept coming — to date, the video has racked up nearly a million views and 800 comments.

Duong, who posted the video, probably had the most likely explanation: "I thought she was standing just to stand."

It's true — some people just like to stand! Maybe they read an article about the dangers of sitting and leading a sedentary lifestyle, or maybe it just feels good and relaxes them. The mystery woman could very well have restless legs or a back injury, but maybe she just felt like standing except when she was specifically told not to.

What I loved about the response to Duong's video was the outpouring of empathy. People were really willing, and even eager, to excuse the woman's admittedly pretty obnoxious behavior by justifying it with a medical reason.

It was honestly really refreshing to read the incredibly laundry list of possible medical conditions that could make someone want to stand for an entire flight. We're often so quick to assume the worst in people — that mom trying to switch seats with her kid is just trying to take advantage, people who stand up right away after landing are just being jerks, etc. It's rare that we stop to think and realize that we don't know their story, their medical history, what happened to them earlier that day, what they're really like as a person.

In a follow up video, Duong clarified: "Yes she would get out of the way (for passengers and crew), she was very polite, no fuss or anything, but it did impact the flight."

"The video was not meant to be mean or judgmental. The video was never about her as a person. It was a funny, unexpected event. A woman standing on a flight for seven hours, you don't see that every day."

All GIFs and images via Exposure Labs.

Photographer James Balog and his crew were hanging out near a glacier when their camera captured something extraordinary. They were in Greenland, gathering footage from the time-lapse they'd positioned all around the Arctic Circle for the last several years.

They were also there to shoot scenes for a documentary. And while they were hoping to capture some cool moments on camera, no one expected a huge chunk of a glacier to snap clean off and slide into the ocean right in front of their eyes.


science, calving, glaciers

A glacier falls into the sea.

assets.rebelmouse.io

ocean swells, sea level, erosion, going green

Massive swells created by large chunks of glacier falling away.

assets.rebelmouse.io

It was the largest such event ever filmed.

For nearly an hour and 15 minutes, Balog and his crew stood by and watched as a piece of ice the size of lower Manhattan — but with ice-equivalent buildings that were two to three times taller than that — simply melted away.

geological catastrophe, earth, glacier melt

A representation demonstrating the massive size of ice that broke off into the sea.

assets.rebelmouse.io

As far as anyone knows, this was an unprecedented geological catastrophe and they caught the entire thing on tape. It won't be the last time something like this happens either.

But once upon a time, Balog was openly skeptical about that "global warming" thing.

Balog had a reputation since the early 1980s as a conservationist and environmental photographer. And for nearly 20 years, he'd scoffed at the climate change heralds shouting, "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!"

"I didn't think that humans were capable of changing the basic physics and chemistry of this entire, huge planet. It didn't seem probable, it didn't seem possible," he explained in the 2012 documentary film "Chasing Ice."

There was too much margin of error in the computer simulations, too many other pressing problems to address about our beautiful planet. As far as he was concerned, these melodramatic doomsayers were distracting from the real issues.

That was then.

Greenland, Antarctica, glacier calving

The glacier ice continues to erode away.

assets.rebelmouse.io

In fact, it wasn't until 2005 that Balog became a believer.

He was sent on a photo expedition of the Arctic by National Geographic, and that first northern trip was more than enough to see the damage for himself.

"It was about actual tangible physical evidence that was preserved in the ice cores of Greenland and Antarctica," he said in a 2012 interview with ThinkProgress. "That was really the smoking gun showing how far outside normal, natural variation the world has become. And that's when I started to really get the message that this was something consequential and serious and needed to be dealt with."

Some of that evidence may have been the fact that more Arctic landmass has melted away in the last 20 years than the previous 10,000 years.

Watch the video of the event of the glacier calving below:

This article originally appeared nine years ago.