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A girl narrates a letter to her dad as she grows up, and it makes rape culture obvious.

Would he have acted differently if he knew it would hurt his own daughter?

TRIGGER WARNING: This video contains images and explicit language related to rape, domestic violence, and self-blame.

A joke is just a joke, right?

And gosh, why does everyone try so hard to be politically correct? Can't anyone take a joke anymore, or say thank you to a compliment?

Those are the kinds of things you might be hearing a lot lately. But pushing back against certain types of jokes is so important because rhetoric, including jokes against women, helps form people's threshold for what's normal and acceptable. That rhetorical normalcy in targeting women can cause the most disturbed among us to think it's OK to prey on them.

Who can make that point to ordinary men better than their own daughters?

CARE Norway created a powerful video to get that point across. In a spoken letter to her father, a girl tells her dad what her life is going to be like because of misogyny.

She knows how protective he is of her. He won't even let her mom eat sushi.

GIFs from CARE Norway.

But his daughter has to break the bad news to him.

"By the time I’m 14, the boys in my class will have called me a whore, a bitch, a cunt, and many other things. It’s just for fun, of course. "

She continues, showing how what she thought were seemingly innocuous cultural norms can translate into painful situations.

"Still, some of the people won’t get the joke. ... So by the time I turn 16, a couple of the boys will have snuck their hands down my pants while I’m so drunk I can’t even stand straight. And although I say no, they just laugh. It’s funny, right? If you saw me, Daddy, you would be so ashamed ... because I’m wasted. No wonder I’m raped when I’m 21."

She goes on to detail more of the kinds of dire situations that will arise in her life because of a society that thinks it's funny to degrade women. So she asks her father a huge favor: to be one of the people who stands up against misogyny when he sees it and hears it.

This video is not safe for work.

And be forewarned that she makes statements blaming herself for the things that happen to her — in order to make a point about how women so often blame themselves instead of the factors really at play.

The video gives a visceral, chilling vision of how the world is not safe for women.

A new society that is as safe for women as it is for men is possible. But everyone has to work together to make it happen. Dads everywhere need to see this. Daughters everywhere need to see this. But so do sons and mothers. Make sure they do.

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O Organics
O Organics
Family

School is back in session. Here are 5 simple lunch ideas to keep you sane while you keep your family healthy.

With O Organics, it's easy.

Photo credit: Canva

Yes, school lunches CAN be easy, healthy and inexpensive.

Parents, let’s face it: prepping school lunches can feel like trying to solve a complex math equation. It's got to be nutritious, appealing, fast, and let's not forget…within budget. But what if we told you there’s a secret weapon that can make this whole ordeal a breeze? Enter: O Organics from Albertsons.

O Organics offers a wide range of affordable, USDA organic goodies that are perfect for school lunches. From crunchy apple slices to delicious, creamy greek yogurt, they've got you covered. Plus, their prices won’t break the bank, proving that healthy eating doesn’t have to be a luxury.

Now, let’s get down to the good stuff: the food! Here are some simple, kid (and wallet) friendly lunch ideas—made entirely with O Organics ingredients—to help you ditch the processed junk and give your kids the fuel they need to conquer the classroom:

1. Pasta Salad

  • Main: A cold pasta salad made with O Organics whole-grain rotini pasta, O Organics chopped vegetables (like cucumbers, bell peppers, and cherry tomatoes), and Italian dressing. Add protein with chickpeas or a three bean blend.
  • Side: O Organics apple slices.
  • Snack: A serving of O Organics Greek yogurt, with some granola for a fun topping.

2. Egg Salad Sandwich

  • Main: A sandwich using whole wheat bread filled with a mixture of O Organics hard boiled eggs, mayo (or Greek yogurt for extra protein), mustard, dill, onion powder, salt and pepper.
  • Side:O Organics tortilla chips and salsa.
  • Snack: A pack of O Organics fruit strips.

3. Peanut Butter Apple Wrap (great for toddlers)

  • Main:O Organics peanut butter spread on a couple of flour soft taco tortillas, topped with thinly sliced apples. Drizzle some O Organics honey, roll it up and voila!
  • Side:O Organics baby-cut carrots with a side of hummus.
  • Snack:O Organics cottage cheese.

4. Quickie Quesadilla

  • Main: A tortilla filled with O Organics Mexican Style Shredded Cheese, black beans, and a sprinkle of chili powder.
  • Side: A couple of hard boiled O Organics eggs.
  • Snack: Ants on a log.

5. A Hot Dog…that stays hot

  • Main: You know the drill. Hot dog (we recommended the O Organics Beef Franks). Mustard. Cheese. Bun.
  • Side: A colorful side salad with spring mix, cherry tomatoes, and vinaigrette dressing.
  • Snack:O Organics banana chips.

But how the heck do you keep the hot dog hot? We’ve got just the tip, courtesy of Allrecipes.com:

Step 1

  • Preheat an insulated beverage container by filling it with boiling water. Let stand for 15 to 20 minutes. Right before leaving, dump out water and replace with more boiling water. The preheating keeps it hot for a longer time. Place the hot dog into the water and close the lid.

Step 2

  • When your child is ready for lunch, they can take the hot dog out of the container and place it on the bun.

Remember: This list is just a starting point. You can totally customize it to your kid’s needs and preferences. You can even involve your kiddos in the lunch-packing process to make it more fun for everyone. Let them help choose the menu, make a shopping list, pack their lunches…even grow their own veggies! If you’re feeling ambitious, that is.

No matter how you choose to give your kids the best possible start to their day, making small changes and taking advantage of resources like O Organics can help make it happen in a sustainable and enjoyable way.

So, what are you waiting for? Shop O Organics now exclusively at Albertsons, Safeway or any sister store. Your kids' bodies (and taste buds) will thank you.

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Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

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Health

Waking up at 3 am every night? Here's how to stop freaking out so you can fall back to sleep.

There's a trick to falling asleep before you start spiraling.

Photo credit: Canva

A woman waking up at 3 a.m.

Just about everyone regularly wakes up at 3 or 4 in the morning, although most of the time, we fall back to sleep without realizing it. However, there are the dreaded nights when, after a few minutes, you can’t get back to sleep and start to get super stressed.

After a few wakeful minutes, you begin to fear that you’ll never fall back asleep, and the next day at work will be downright miserable. You’ll walk through the day like a zombie, nodding off at lunchtime and unable to keep your eyes open on the commute home.

Once the can’t-sleep stress kicks in, your mind begins to wander back to when you were in high school and you said the wrong thing to someone you had a crush on. Or, you start to ruminate on your last fight with a coworker or freak out about whether you remembered to turn on the dishwasher before bed.

Fiona Barwick, PhD, director of the Sleep & Circadian Health Program at Stanford University School of Medicine, says we should stop feeling anxious when we have these 3 am wake-ups because it will only worsen the situation.

“What usually happens is that we focus our attention and effort on actively trying to get back to sleep,” Dr. Barwick says. But unfortunately, “That practically guarantees you will stay awake longer,” she told Self.

sleeping, sleep stress, sleep tipsA man sleeping at night.via Shane/Unsplash

How to fall asleep when you wake up at 3 or 4 a.m.

Dr. Barwick says that understanding why we are catastrophizing at 3 a.m. can help us fall back asleep more easily. The critical thing to remember is that when we emerge from sleep early in the morning, our frontal lobe is shut off, which plays a big part in regulating emotions. Further, our brains are primarily working out of the amygdala, which produces feelings of fear and anxiety.

Therefore, if we wake up at 4 a.m. and start stressing out, we should just say to ourselves, “It’s okay. Your brain isn’t completely turned on, and you’re overreacting." This can help you calm down and let your sleep drive kick in so you can fall back into dreamland.

Why do I wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. every morning?

If you feel like you wake up every morning at 3 or 4 a.m., you’re not alone. There’s a biological reason why it’s so common. After a good chunk of sleep of 5 hours or so, our body starts to reduce its production of melatonin, the hormone that puts us to sleep. It also begins to ramp up the production of cortisol, the stress hormone that helps wake us up.

If you wake up during this process, your body is flooded with stress hormones and the part of your brain that is supposed to regulate your emotions is turned off. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right?

But now, when you find yourself in that situation, you know to think, “It’s okay. I’m being pumped full of stress hormones, and I don’t have the brainpower to fight it off. It’s no big deal.” Hopefully, at that point, you remain calm and fall back to sleep.

sleep, sleep tips, sleep adviceA woman waking up.via Kinga Howard/Unsplash

If you still have difficulty calming down and can’t stop stressing out over sleep. In that case, Greg Murray, a psychology researcher with expertise in mood, sleep, and the circadian system, recommends an easy breathing exercise. “I bring my attention to my senses, specifically the sound of my breath. When I notice thoughts arising, I gently bring my attention back to the sound of breathing,” Murray writes in The Conversation.

Dr. Debasish Mridha, a physician known for his work in neurology, once said, “The best remedy for fear is to gain knowledge.” Hopefully, now that we know why we feel so stressed when we wake up at 3 am, we can let go of fear and fall back into blissful sleep.

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Sustainability

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

30 dump truck loads and two years later, the forest looks totally different.

assets.rebelmouse.io

One of the biggest problems with coffee production is that it generates an incredible amount of waste. Once coffee beans are separated from cherries, about 45% of the entire biomass is discarded.

So for every pound of roasted coffee we enjoy, an equivalent amount of coffee pulp is discarded into massive landfills across the globe. That means that approximately 10 million tons of coffee pulp is discarded into the environment every year.


When disposed of improperly, the waste can cause serious damage soil and water sources.

However, a new study published in the British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence has found that coffee pulp isn't just a nuisance to be discarded. It can have an incredibly positive impact on regrowing deforested areas of the planet.

via British Ecological Society

In 2018, researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawaii spread 30 dump trucks worth of coffee pulp over a roughly 100' x 130' area of degraded land in Costa Rica. The experiment took place on a former coffee farm that underwent rapid deforestation in the 1950s.

The coffee pulp was spread three-feet thick over the entire area.

Another plot of land near the coffee pulp dump was left alone to act as a control for the experiment.

"The results were dramatic." Dr. Rebecca Cole, lead author of the study, said. "The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses."

In just two years, the area treated with coffee pulp had an 80% canopy cover, compared to just 20% of the control area. So, the coffee-pulp-treated area grew four times more rapidly. Like a jolt of caffeine, it reinvigorated biological activity in the area.

The canopy was also four times taller than that of the control.

Before and after images of the forest

The forest experienced a radical, positive change

via British Ecological Society

The coffee-treated area also eliminated an invasive species of grass that took over the land and prevented forest succession. Its elimination allowed for other native species to take over and recolonize the area.

"This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. In situations where processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a 'win-win' scenario," Dr. Cole said.

If the results are repeatable it's a win-win for coffee drinkers and the environment.

Researchers believe that coffee treatments can be a cost-effective way to reforest degraded land. They may also work to reverse the effects of climate change by supporting the growth of forests across the globe.

The 2016 Paris Agreement made reforestation an important part of the fight against climate change. The agreement incentivizes developing countries to reduce deforestation and forest degradation, promote forest conservation and sustainable management, and enhance forest carbon stocks in developing countries.

"We hope our study is a jumping off point for other researchers and industries to take a look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement," Dr. Cole said.


This article originally appeared on 03.29.21

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Culture

'Is it supposed to hurt like that?' Guys try a menstrual cramp simulator and can't take it

Every guy should go through this.

via Benz Trap House/TikTok

Men try a period simulator.

Imagine how different the world would be if cis-gendered men had the ability to give birth? Would the state of Texas attempt to ban abortions after six weeks or would they be available on-demand?

Would we live in a country without mandatory paid maternity leave? How much more affordable would childcare be? Would there be a tax on period products? How would we treat people experiencing period pain?

A few brave men decided to see what life was like for people who have periods in a funny but enlightening video that's gone viral on TikTok. In a video posted by Benz Trap House that has over 1.4 million views, a group of guys tried a period simulator to experience what menstrual cramps really feel like.

Period simulators are essentially the same as labor simulators. They're called transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) machines that are designed to relieve pain. But when turned up a notch can create intense, debilitating discomfort.

The group took a semi-scientific approach to the experiment with a woman acting as a control subject. At the beginning of the video, she attaches the simulator to an area near her ovaries and turns it up to ten, the highest setting. In the clip, the group looks impressed as she endures the extreme setting without showing any discomfort.

The men would not do as well.

@benztraphouse

The boys tried a period simulator #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #funny #periodcramps #periodsimulator #viral

When the first guy attempted to wear the period simulator he was shocked by the discomfort. "Is it supposed to hurt like that?" the second guy says before erupting in nervous laughter.

The third guy said that he felt the pain all the way down to his knee caps.

At one point in the video, the period simulator is attached to a woman and a man at the same time. When the device is turned on, the guy is in extreme pain while the woman stands still, claiming the feelings created by the machine are "not even as bad as a cramp."

"Yeah, my cramps hurt worse than this," she added.

A lot of people who menstruate felt validated after seeing the guys experience their first period.

"'You feel that in your back, boi?' every month, friend," a commenter named Crystal said.

One of the most popular comments was from Candyce, who said: "I'm convinced if men could get pregnant they'd have abortion clinics on every corner and paid maternity leave the whole pregnancy."

Another commenter, S DeMarco, pointed out that women have to go through an entire day in pain without a break.

"When he said 'it's stabbing me what do I do?' You go to work, clean the house and continue on bb," she wrote.

Shellz took reality up a notch. "Let's add headaches. And period poops. And bloating. And the feeling of blood leaving you. And the nausea," she wrote.

It's cool that the lighthearted video has gone viral because it'll give some people newfound respect for the pain that people who have periods go through. Some who watched the video thought that period simulators should be mandatory in sex ed classes.

Imagine how different the world would be if everyone experienced menstrual pain just once in their life?


This article originally appeared on 11.10.21

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Culture

Dad’s 5-year-old daughter's hilarious answers to his questions have the internet screaming

“Do I have to change my name if I get married? Call me Shredder.”

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way.

Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy.

Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


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His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


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This article originally appeared on 7.27.21

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