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02.04.13
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This party was tragically a perfect storm of everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Kids birthday party culture is definitely having a moment in the public discourse. For one thing, parties have become outrageously expensive. Renting a lane at the bowling alley and getting some pizza for a dozen kids used to be the cheap party. Now that same experience will probably run $500 or more. If you tack on custom desserts (and not a Costco sheet cake), goodie bags, and a premium venue like a trampoline park or arcade, you could be looking at a bill of close to $1000! That's madness!
RSVP etiquette is in crisis, too. Social media is rife with stories of no one RSVPing, RSVPers no-showing on the day, and others sorts of rude or bizarre behavior from parents that turns parties sour and, sadly, ruin kids' birthdays.
One dad's recent story of a birthday party gone horribly wrong, though, definitely takes the cake.
Planning a kid's birthday means expecting the unexpected. Giphy
"My son's birthday was recently and we decided to throw him a party at a local place that was kid focused and amazing," the dad writes in a Reddit post. Due to classroom rules and wanting to pass the invitations out through school, the family invited all 24 kids from their child's class.
"Not a single parent RSVP'ed. Not a single one. My name, my phone number, AND my spouse's phone number was on the card. I'm literally staring at one ... that I handwrote and this was included on the invite. I handwrote every card so I know for a fact what was on there," he says.
Not wanting to cancel the birthday party (and traumatize his son), the dad began inviting kids from other branches of his network. Friends' kids, coworkers kids. Basically anyone with a warm body so that they could throw a proper party. In the end, the family planned and paid for 15 kids to attend the party, including a resounding zero from class.
And then everything went haywire.
"Party was yesterday night. ... We get there, get settled in, and start seeing kids come in. A few of his classmates began showing up. I was fine with that and was excited kids started showing up for him. And then more kids started showing up. One family brought 7 kids total; 3 teens, 2 slightly older kids, a girl from his classmates, and their cousin. Another family brought their son AND one of his friends because 'they didn't know if their son would know anyone there so we wanted to make sure he had a friend to play with'. So many of them brought siblings."
The numbers quickly got way, way out of hand. Organizers at the venue told the dad he was going to have to pay for all the extra kids that showed up. So the OP unfortunately had to tell anyone who brought uninvited kids, or failed to RSVP, that they would have to pay their own way for all the crafts and activities available at the venue.
A few families apologized and ponied up, but... "I had multiple parents tell me that they didn't know they couldn't bring their other kids and promised to pay before they left. Some asked for my Cashapp/Venmo/Zelle so they could reimburse me later since they couldn't afford it right now. Some just left, a few taking their presents with them."
With so many kids running amok, the party took an unfortunate turn. Kids started being mean to an animal that was brought out for entertainment and its handlers had to put it away. Trash went flying everywhere. Kids climbed on tables and got kicked out. It was pandemonium.
Kids at the party climbed on and broke furnitureGiphy
In the end, dad had to pay an extra cleaning fee, pay for damage done to the venue, and pay for all the extra kids who showed up whose parents left before chipping in. Worse yet, his son was devastated at how the party turned out.
"I was in tears. My son is really upset that there were so many mean kids. He said this was the worst party ever and asked to not have a party for next year."
The obvious question coming out of this story: Why are people so awful?!
Stories like this one sadly aren't rare. The cynical take is that parents are ruder and more self-absorbed than ever, that our socially disconnected society has diluted our sense of community and obligation to be kind to each other.
The slightly more optimistic and probably more accurate take is that today's parents are completely overwhelmed and have their hands full coordinating handfuls of events that are months away, responding to dozens of daily emails from school and teachers and daycares, being engaged and hands-on in every aspects of their kids lives, etc. So RSVPs sometimes slip to the bottom of the list and get forgotten. The behavior in this dad's story is appalling, but probably not intentionally malicious.
Still, social media users were furious on behalf of the child and his parents in the story.
"This is unacceptable behavior," wrote one commenter.
"People suck and kids parties bring out the worst in people!" added another.
Whatever the cause, there are a few ways you can protect yourself and your kids from birthday party catastrophes like this one.
Don't include the specific location on the invite. The best way to stop people who didn't RSVP from showing up unannounced is to stay vague about the party venue. Just put the day and time on the invitation so people can save the date, but make them text or call before you tell them where the party will be held. That way, you can secure a commitment beforehand.
Specify whether siblings are welcome. Unfortunately, some parents have been known to use other kids birthday parties as informal daycares, dropping all of their kids off at once and taking themselves a nice break! It's not all conniving, though. It is legitimately a lot easier on some families to bring everyone along to a party rather than dividing and conquering to entertain siblings who weren't invited. Just be clear on the invite or in RSVP discussions about who's allowed to come and whether parents are expected to stay (or if it's a "drop off party").
Understand classroom rules. A lot of schools now require that, if birthday party invitations get handed out in class, that everyone is invited. That rules comes from a great place of not wanting anyone to feel left out, but it also causes a lot of problems. The inclusivity is a positive but it also means you end up inviting a lot of kids and parents you don't know very well or at all. If you're up for this logistical challenge, go for it! But if not, consider a smaller party with just your child's good friends—and invite them privately outside of school.
Finally, for anyone on the receiving end of a birthday party invitation, don't be a jerk! RSVPing either way is a much appreciated gesture. On the chance that you do forget to RSVP (it happens), don't show up unannounced. It may not seem like a big deal, but when a couple dozen sets of parents all have the same thought, this dad's viral story shows exactly what can go wrong.
via Meg Sullivan (used with permission) and Canva/Photos
A volunteer hands out food in a food bank and Meg Sullivan shares her dad's kind gesture.
When we consider people who have had a positive impact on the world, we often think of those who have made grand gestures to improve the lives of others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, or Mahatma Gandhi. Unfortunately, that type of effort is out of reach for the average person.
However, O Organics would like to remind everyone that they can positively impact the world through small, consistent acts of kindness that add up over time. Much like how a small creek can create a valley over the years, we can change lives through small, consistent acts of kindness.
O Organics is dedicated to the well-being of all by nourishing people everywhere with delicious organic foods grown by producers who meet USDA-certified organic farming standards.
Upworthy's Instagram page recently posted a touching example of everyday kindness. Meg Sullivan shared how her father, Tom, peeled oranges for her lunch just about every day from kindergarten through high school. But on the final day of her senior year of high school, he sent his 17-year-old daughter unpeeled oranges with a touching note about how she’d have to start peeling them for herself.
“It’s Time Baby Girl,” he wrote on a wikiHow printout on how to peel an orange with a drawing of himself crying. For the father, this daily ritual was about more than just making lunch; it was about showing that he cared by going the extra mile. “I could have put money on her lunch account,” Tom told Today.com. “But it’s one of those little things I thought was important, that she knows somebody’s taking the time to take care of her.”
The small, daily gesture taught Megan an essential lesson in kindness.
The post reminded people how their fathers’ small acts of kindness meant so much to them. “My dad peeled my oranges until I graduated high school, too. Now, I peel my daughter’s oranges and will for the next 7 plus years,” Katie wrote in the comments. “Love this. My dad peeled mine, too. When I moved out, he gave me an orange peeler gadget,” Mary added.
O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list.via Albertson's
Did you know that every time you go to the supermarket, you can also change the world through small gestures? O Organics not only allows you to feed your family delicious and nutritious organic food, but each purchase also gives back to help people and communities facing food insecurity.
Through contributions from customers like you, O Organics donates up to 28 million meals annually. The company’s contribution is essential when, according to the USDA, 47.4 million Americans live in food-insecure households.
O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal,” Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products, said in a statement.
O Organics now offers over 1500 items, from dairy products such as eggs and milk to packaged meats and breakfast staples such as cereal bars, granola and oatmeal. You can also enjoy affordable organic produce with O Organics’ fresh salads and fruit.
Everybody wants to make the world a better place. With O Organics, you can feed your family healthy, organic food every time you go to the market while paying it forward by contributing to the company’s efforts to end food insecurity nationwide. That’s a small, daily gesture that can amount to incredible change.
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A lot of dads are not aware of this.
It's hard out here being a dad. No one would argue that. But studies show dads are actually happier, less tired, and less stressed out than one very special group of people: Moms. It might sound obvious since we know the majority of childcare still tends to fall on women, but the differences between moms and dads hold up even when accounting for total time spent taking care of the kids. So what gives? At the risk of having rotten tomatoes hurled at my head, is it possible that dads are just way more chill and better at handling the stress?
Absolutely not! But it does leave a bit of a mystery. Why are dads faring better even when they spend lots of time taking care of the children? One explanation is that dads often get the easy stuff, like recreation and play, while moms tend to get stuck with more rigorous tasks like logistics, cleaning, cooking, and bathing. But that doesn't explain everything.
One dad recently had an epiphany about exactly why he finds taking care of the kids less taxing than his wife does.
A dad who posts online as @workharddadhard never found solo parenting his son to be all that challenging. He says in a now viral TikTok video that his son would usually just play quietly by himself, ask for things nicely if he needed something, and generally be pretty independent. What he never understood was why solo parenting seemed to leave his wife drained, exhausted, and desperate for help.
"For the longest time I wondered why my wife was always like 'Please, like as soon as you can, get home from work, like whenever you're done please just come home, I could really use your help here. ... It's been a long day.'"
What was she doing differently that made parenting so much harder? One day he got the chance to observe exactly what his wife had been talking about this whole time. He happened to be home during the day while Mom was in charge and saw "our son just do things that he never ever did with me and it was crazy."
"Our kid acts completely different around his mom," he said, adding that the epiphany "blew his mind."
Watch the whole video here:
@workharddadhard When I was home, our son would play by himself, ask for things nicely, but then when it was just mom, things changed…
Commenters chimed in by the thousands to confirm: Kids are often needier and more poorly behaved for mom. And more dads need to get the memo.
This dad wasn't the only parent whose kid does a Jekyll and Hyde act depending on which parent they're with. He also wasn't the only dad who had no idea this was even a thing, at least until recently:
"A lot of dads are not aware of this."
"Coming from a mom, it's so unfair. and dads often don't see it so they don't get why we're stressed and overwhelmed at the end of the day"
"More dads need to understand this. this is why they judge moms for being exhausted and wonder why 'nothing' gets done around the house. or why they need a break."
"Thanks for acknowledging. My kids ask me for things 1000x a day and when my husband is alone with them, they don’t need anything, never hungry and play by themselves"
"My children are insanely needy for me, but wildly independent problem solvers with my husband"
Some kids are like Jekyll and Hyde depending on which parent they're withGiphy
Some parents offered the theory that kids were more likely to act out because they felt safer with mom:
"Kids act out the most whoever they are most comfortable with. They know their feelings and big emotions are safe," one commenter wrote.
The research backs this up. It's the same mechanism at work that causes your kids to behave perfectly at school but raise hell at home. The more comfortable and securely attached they are to you, the more likely they are to be vulnerable and let out their big feelings (and true nature). They may feel more empowered to ask you for or demand help, or generally misbehave. When Mom is the primary caregiver, which is usually the case, it's natural that kids will feel even a little bit safer with her than Dad. That means she gets the short end of the stick when it comes to clinginess and bad behavior.
There are two takeaways here for parents. First, if your kid is well-behaved for everyone including your partner, but a terror for you, it doesn't mean you're doing something wrong! In fact, though it may be little comfort, it probably just means that they feel the safest and most connected to you. Second, remember that your partner isn't being dramatic if they're feeling burnt out by the kid but you're not. Believe them, support them, and for God's sake, be there to give them a break.
via Canva/Photos
A woman feeling sick in her bathroom.
It’s easy to tell if mold is growing in your bathroom: you notice the black stuff growing on the caulk that lines your bathtub or near the bottom of the hot and cold water handles on your sink. But have you ever seen a ring of pink slime accumulating around your sink drain or on the bottom of your shower curtain? Most people think it’s mold, but it’s actually something worse.
U.K.-based surgeon Dr. Karan Rajan explained the pink slime phenomenon in a TikTok video that’s received over 640,000 views. “You've seen this pink slime lurking in your bathroom, it's not mold, it's bacteria,” Dr. Rajan says. “Specifically one called Serratia marcescens. And it vomits hot pink all over your bathroom.”
Yes, that’s not soap that has turned a bubble-gum color on the bottom of your shower curtain or Pepto Bismol that didn’t go down the drain. It’s bacteria vomit.
@dr.karanr Pink slime
The interesting thing about this bacteria is that the products you use to clean your body in the shower or wash your hands in the sink are what it loves to eat. Pink slime feeds on fat and mineral deposits from soap scum and shampoo.
If you’ve found some pink slime in your home before, you know it’s much grosser than you originally thought. But is it dangerous? “[To] the average person, it's pretty harmless, even if you come into contact with it, but you still wanna avoid getting in your eyes or open wounds,” Dr. Raja warns. “However, it can cause gut, urine, or chest infections in those who are immunocompromised.”
"OMG this reappears in our tub every few weeks. I was wondering what it was!?" someone wrote in the comments on the TikTok post. "I always wondered. The pink slime and my bleach bottle are in a constant battle," another added.
The bigger problem of pink slime is that it may be a symptom of a more significant issue. “If your home has enough damp for pink slime to consistently develop, you could actually be growing other things as well, like actual household molds, which could be causing respiratory issues or allergies,” Dr. Rajan says.
Serratia marcescens up close.via Bjorn S./Wikimedia Commons
How to clean pink slime (Serratia marcescens)
Here is how to clean and sanitize your bathroom of pink slime, thanks to This Old House.
- Wear safety glasses, a mask, and gloves
- Combine 2 tablespoons of dish soap with one quarter cup of baking soda
- Apply the mixture to the bacteria and scrub thoroughly with a nylon brush
- Rinse away the loosened bacteria
- Spray the affected area with 1:1 warm water and bleach solution
- Let sit for ten minutes, then scrub again
- Dry with a microfiber towel
How to prevent pink slime from growing in your bathroom
How do you keep pink slime from growing in your home in the first place? The key is to keep your bathroom dry. “The first rule of Pink Slime Club is to keep the bacteria forming in the first place. By curbing its growth, you'll be preventing other dangerous molds from forming,” Dr. Rajan says. “Keep your shower dry and well-ventilated, put on an exhaust fan or open a window after showering to keep humidity levels low, and regularly clean and disinfect your bathroom. It's filthier than you think.”