The Real Cost Of The Tea Party's Shenanigans In One Horrifying Graphic
The chaos resulting from the debt ceiling and government shutdown circus — one that began in 2009, actually — has cost us dearly. How dearly?
10.17.13
Americans voting in the 2024 election
The 2024 election was an emotional rollercoaster for millions of Americans. Those who voted for Trump have reason to celebrate, while those who supported Harris or a third-party candidate are probably deflated and need a while to recover emotionally.
The election was notable because there was a significant shift in voters from the Democratic to the Republican ticket over the 2020 election. So many people may now find themselves on opposite ends of the aisle with friends or loved ones with whom they previously agreed.
A lot of folks have to deal with the fact that their friends or family members voted differently than them, and, honestly, it can sting a bit, especially when hot-button issues are on the table, such as women’s rights, immigration, the economy, health care, LGBTQ rights and more.
A woman displaying her "I voted" stickervia Flickr/Bethraebel
Regardless of who you voted for, you may feel a twinge of animosity toward a loved one who chose someone different and may not be sure how to get over your feelings. Upworthy spoke with Jessica McCarthy, Psy.D., a clinical neuropsychologist, clinical psychologist and certified school psychologist, to help our readers repair their relationships after the election.
McCarthy is also the Founder and Clinical Director of Elements Psychological Services.
“What’s interesting is that regardless of the political spectrum, people’s emotions are the same—frustrated, angry, passionate, betrayed, dismayed, scared, hopeful, determined, bewildered,” McCarthy told Upworthy. “People’s personal values and viewpoints are something that they hold near and dear to them—and if it’s a deal-breaker issue, the reactions are more extreme in scale if the opposing view is from a loved one.”
In the aftermath of the election, you may want to distance yourself from the people who voted differently than you, and McCarthy believes that’s acceptable. However, it would be best to communicate how you’re feeling, instead of mysteriously dropping out of their lives without notice.
“Sometimes, people need space to sit and process—this, again, can be done through communicating about readiness and willingness to connect,” McCarthy told Upworthy. “Space and silence should never be weaponized in a relationship, but that need for space can also be honored in a way through effective communication about limits and when both parties can reconvene and communicate.”
A man displaying her "I voted" sticker.via Jimmy Zo/Flickr
Instead of disappearing from your friends’ lives altogether, text them, saying, “I need time to sort through my emotions after the election. I'm looking forward to talking with you when I am ready.”
McCarthy says that maintaining relationships with people you disagree with can be challenging because people need to have their viewpoints heard. It can be stifling for people to feel forced to keep their mouths shut around loved ones.
However, some relationships can thrive when firm rules of engagement are in place. For example, you and your friend can agree that you shouldn’t talk about politics to preserve the relationship.
“I have plenty of patients in my practice who have friends who have differing stances in the aforementioned areas, and the health of the relationship is determined by the ‘rules of engagement’—either directly or indirectly agreed upon rules that serve as guidelines for how to navigate these topics (and often, it’s agreed upon not to discuss them),” McCarthy says. “These relationships work because there is tremendous value and enjoyment in other areas of the relationship from which both parties mutually benefit.”
There’s nothing wrong with feeling let down by a loved one who voted differently in the election. People’s political views are closely tied to their moral values, so it’s understandable to have big emotions over people you love making a different value judgment. The key to keeping the relationship going on a new, healthy path is to share how you feel, listen to your loved ones and agree on the best path forward. “Anytime there has been a rupture in a relationship, there needs to be communication as to how to proceed and what repair might look like,” McCarthy says.
The many faces of an empath.
A few years ago I had an office job where I sat in a row of cubicles with about a dozen other people. One morning when a coworker walked into the office to start his day, a feeling of dread bubbled up from my subconscious. He was angry and I wasn’t going to be able to escape his feelings.
His desk was about 10 feet from mine and like waves, I could feel his emotions seeping into my body. He wasn’t bothering anyone and was always pleasant to me, but I knew he was angry about something deep down, and I could feel it.
As far as I knew, no one else in the office was having the same experience that I was. I was the only person who found it emotionally exhausting to be in the same room as this person.
I wasn’t sure what to make of this bizarre, unintentional attachment to the emotional states of others until I was listening to a podcast featuring Dr. Drew Pinksy where he mentioned that he was “an emotional sponge” who sucks up other people’s emotions and referred to it as being an “empath.”
That powerful revelation struck me in two ways. I realized that I was probably an empath as well and that I experience emotions differently than others. "One of the hardest things about being an empath is learning not everyone is,” Hannah Ewens at Vice wrote.
PsychAlive describes being an empath as exhausting at times, but not without its benefits.
“Empaths are highly sensitive individuals, who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and feeling. … often to the point of taking on the pain of others at their own expense,” PsychAlive says.
“On the bright side, empaths tend to be excellent friends,” PsychAlive continues. “They are superb listeners. They consistently show up for friends in times of need. They are big-hearted and generous. Empaths also tend to be highly intuitive and emotionally intelligent.”
As I started to look into the idea that I may be an empath, I began to consider the emotional sway my wife has over me. If she is stressed or tired, it makes me uncomfortable because I cannot escape her emotional state. It’s not that she’s overly emotional, but that I lack the force field that shields me from people’s emotional states, especially people close to me.
That’s why I get a huge feeling of relief when my wife transitions from being in a negative mood to a positive one. But, on the other hand, she doesn’t seem to be swayed one way or the other by my emotional state. It’s not that she’s callous, it’s just that she has a healthy emotional distance from me.
The problem is that it's nearly impossible to explain what this feels like to someone who isn’t an empath, and attempting to do so makes me seem a little unstable. So I keep these disturbances to myself, which probably isn’t healthy.
Caroline Van Kimmenade, who runs courses for empaths who want to understand their power, explained what it’s like to be an empath. "It's like a football match where everyone gets hyped up and starts waving and then the mob things start sweeping you up, and you barely know you're doing it," she explained.
"We can all experience that, but it doesn't mean you're an empath. But for an empath, it's that multiplied and applied to everything all of the time. Empaths are constantly in a giant football stadium where they're reacting to bigger things going on from all directions,” said Van Kimmenade.
When I realized I was an empath it helped me make sense of a part of myself that always felt contradictory. I am a person who has no problem being alone for long periods of time, but I’m also totally comfortable in social situations.
Tod Perry's solitary workspace.
via Upworthy
I work for Upworthy as a writer and the host of its podcast, “Upworthy Weekly,” and do it all from home. Honestly, I love being alone all day because I have a lot more power over my own emotional state than when I'm in an office getting bombarded by other people’s “stuff.”
I also enjoy going to movies, concerts and bars alone, too.
On the other hand, I am an extrovert who’s very comfortable in social situations. Empaths can be very social people because they have the superpower of being attuned to others' emotions and they have a great intuition for other people. We are experts at reading the room and are great at relating to all sorts of people.
Dr. Judith Orloff, the author of “The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People,” says that extroverted empaths “crave the dopamine rush from lively events. In fact, they can’t get enough of it.”
One of the strangest things about being an empath is having a heightened sense of smell. My sense of smell is so keen that I can’t wear cologne because I never go nose blind to the scent and it’ll bother me the whole night. The same goes for scented lotions. The interesting thing is that this isn’t just in my head; researchers have found that the part of the brain that recognizes emotions overlaps with the brain areas associated with smell.
So what causes someone to be an empath?
“It can be both nature and nurture. Some empaths are born empaths the minute they come out of the womb they are these sensitive creatures feeling the world with the palm of their hands,” Dr. Orloff told Upworthy.
Dr. Orloff says that research shows empaths have different brain chemistry.
“Research is suggesting that the mirror neuron system in the brain is on overdrive with empaths—meaning their compassion is hyperactive versus narcissists who have hypo-active mirror neurons and empathy deficient disorder,” Orloff said.
Orloff adds that even though men and women are both empaths, it can be harder for men to come to terms with their sensitivity. She runs an empath support community where men are much more reluctant to share.
“When the men do share, they express the shame about being sensitive, how it isn't masculine and how they were bullied as children and made to feel ashamed to be crybabies rather than beautiful sensitive beings,” Orloff told Upworthy.
I had never heard of the term empath until about five years ago, but after coming to the realization that I probably am one and learning about the positive and negative aspects of this psychological trait, I feel that I’ve become better at navigating my emotional life. I'm getting better at seeing the difference between my emotions and those of others and making sense of the difference.
On the positive side, I’ve developed greater trust in my own intuition knowing that, as an empath, when I get a sense about someone, I should go with it because there’s a good chance I’m right. I’ve also learned to be less judgmental of those around me who I think aren’t as sensitive as they should be. They’re just not experiencing life the same way.
This article originally appeared 2 years ago.
The Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale
A user on Reddit recently posted an OCD symptom checklist given to them by a doctor. It's called the Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale (Y-BOCS) and it includes dozens of symptoms and behaviors that can be associated with OCD. It's a helpful diagnostic tool that can help identify whether a person has OCD and how severe it might be.
However, after taking a closer look at the sheet, the OP just had to chuckle.
There's something deliciously ironic about the OCD checklist being absolutely riddled with spelling and formatting mistakes.
The original poster took it upon themselves to use their superpowers of neatness and exactitude to make a few... corrections.
"Behold the cruel checklist my doctor gave me to help identify my specific flavor of OCD. It had room for improvement," they wrote.
Note all the corrections made in red pen.
There are a lot of them!
Of particular interest is the category called "Obsession with need for symmetry for exactness."
A section which, ironically, is not indented in the same way as the other category headings!
A few other errors on the sheet include:
- Extra spaces between words
- Poor line alignment
- Missing and inconsistent punctuation
- Inconsistent bolding and italicization
The document's formatting is so bad, you almost wonder if it was designed that way on purpose.
Users on Reddit got a lot of laughs out of the corrected checklist, to the tune of over 31,000 upvotes.
Of course, OCD is rarely about just "wanting things neat."
Photo by OCD has become a buzzword we throw around casually to describe anyone who is rigid in their thinking about certain things, or excessively tidy or clean.
("Sorry, I'm a little bit OCD about how I organize my desk.")
In reality, that's a stereotype that doesn't even begin to tell the whole story. "Exactness and symmetry" is just one of several categories on the Y-BOCS.
OCD is also characterized by these obsessions and compulsions becoming so intrusive they interfere with day to day life.
Other users in the thread chimed in with what OCD really looks like for them:
"I spent several years driving 10 minutes out of my way on a daily commute because I was afraid that if I drove over this specific bridge I was going to yeet myself off it. I had no intent to kill myself I was just terrified I was gonna do it," wrote one.
"I had an intrusive thought about stabbing the girl next to me in Spanish class with a pencil and I’m now I’m afraid to touch pencils so I can’t take notes," said another.
Another regularly worries about things like "staying awake all night because there might be a spider in my bedroom, and the spider will have babies on its back, and the babies will hatch and crawl into my mouth while I'm sleeping, and I'll suffocate and die. And then I'll go to the hell I don't believe in, because I killed the spiders."
Needless to say, people with OCD often get annoyed by the "neatness" trope which oversimplifies their disease.
However, the original poster took the criticism in stride. They're early on in their own diagnosis and discovery phase and just wanted to have a laugh to lighten the mood.
"I’m still new to my diagnosis and self-discovery within the lens of having OCD, so stepping on others’ toes or downplaying the condition was not intentional," the poster wrote. "My own OCD is not as simple as my edited page would suggest, I just posted this rather tongue-in-cheek. This page caused me some mild distress, but I also thought it hilarious that a checklist for OCD would be so rife with errors."
"My own condition is debilitating on a daily basis and doesn’t even encompass what the form made it look to be, but I didn’t quite feel the need to explain my medical journey."
It's important to have a sense of humor when things get tough. Gallows humor is the idea of using laughter to protect yourself from the stress and anxiety of a scary of even life-threatening situation. It's not everyone's style, but it's a legitimately effective coping mechanism.
As long as we can all agree that, yes, OCD is a lot more than just getting aggravated by typos — it's OK to chuckle at the sloppy medical form and OP's hilarious mark-ups. In fact, if we look past the corrections and actually read the form, we'll come away knowing way more about OCD than we did before!
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