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The Most Important Performance Of The Grammys Wasn't Even Music. It Was This Woman's Moving Speech.

The goosebumps I got when I watched this live... So many of us know a domestic violence or rape survivor, or are one ourselves. This moment in popular culture was a huge win for all of us.

Read the beginning of her speech below:

"My name is Brooke Axtell, and I am a survivor of domestic violence. After a year of passionate romance with a handsome, charismatic man, I was stunned when he began to abuse me. I believed he was lashing out because he was in pain and needed help. I believed my compassion could restore him and our relationship. My empathy was used against me. I was terrified of him and ashamed I was in this position. What bound me to him was my desire to heal him. My compassion was incomplete because it did not include me. When he threatened to kill me, I knew I had to escape. I revealed the truth to my mom, and she encouraged me to seek help at a local domestic violence shelter. This conversation saved my life."


Thank you, Brooke Axtell.

Of course, while it's great that the Grammys gave such a massive platform to an issue this important during the show and not during a commercial break (I'm looking at you, NFL), the moment was not without some hypocrisy. Many people on Twitter were quick to point out that Chris Brown, R. Kelly, and Eminem — all of whom have a history of violence against women — were nominated for awards this year.

On the bright side, at least they had to sit in the audience and hear her message. We can only hope they'll finally listen. And maybe next year, the Grammys won't be quite so hypocritical. Words are great, but they're even better when backed up by action. Because when the president says #ItsOnUs, Grammys, that includes you.

Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

fathers
Health

‘Small but certain’: How South Korean ‘sohwakhaeng’ can lead you to happiness

A refreshingly simple philosophy.

Photo credit: Canva

When did slowing down become such a crime?

When did slowing down become such a crime? It seems as if at every turn, the world is screaming at us: push harder, demand more, settle for less. After winning the 2025 Australian Open, tennis champion Jannik Sinner was inundated with questions about his future goals and upcoming tournaments by journalists. The not-so-subtle subtext? “Now what’s next?” Mere minutes after Mikey Madison won her Academy Award for Best Actress in Anora, she was immediately hounded by the press about her future plans and next projects. Finally, she replied:

"I've been thinking about the future a lot and also the past. I've been really trying to remind myself to stay as present as possible throughout all of this, so I don't know. I really don't know what will happen in the future. I just want to keep making movies and continue to work with people who inspire me and play interesting characters, tell stories that are compelling."

In a culture obsessed with moving at a lightning speed, young people in South Korea are fed up. In the words of Bartleby, the Scrivener, they'd "rather not." Instead, they're choosing a different path, one that's unhurried and geared towards gratefulness. They call it ‘sohwakhaeng’ (소확행), a philosophy that's deceptively simple yet profound, that challenges our very notion of happiness.


A contraction of the words “small” (소), “certain” (확실한), and “happiness” (행복), ‘sohwakhaeng’ roughly translates to “small but certain happiness.” The concept was lifted from Japanese author Haruki Murakami’s 1986 essay, “Afternoon in the Islets of Langerhans,” in which he describes discovering delight in the tiniest, most unexpected places: a freshly baked loaf of bread, torn into using one's hands; neatly folded underwear; new shirts that smell like clean cotton.

Sohwakhaeng’s message is simple: joy is always around us. We just need to train ourselves to recognize it. How? Start by being intentional. Slow down, notice your surroundings, and savor this one precious moment. Remember that you are alive. Then, contentment will come. Sohwakhaeng guarantees it, no matter how minuscule or trivial the event may seem.

Sohwakhaeng can take many forms. It can look like your favorite tea, warmed and steeped in your favorite mug, enjoyed while staring out the window on a snowy winter’s day. It could be a gratitude journal, written nightly using the smooth, metallic pen you saved up for months to buy. A small prayer that precedes a meal. There aren't many rules when it comes to sohwakhaeng. It can be anything, really. The key is mindfulness, living in the present, and noticing all the small joys of life that all too often pass us by. It’s like Jack’s famous song in the musical Into the Woods, when, after scurrying down the giant beanstalk, he marvels at everything below him, seeing for the very first time everything he once took for granted.

“The roof, the house and your Mother at the door The roof, the house and the world you never thought to explore...”


Women, eating, restaurant, smiling, enjoying meal Joy's always there, if we just learn how to look for it. Photo credit: Canva

In South Korea’s fast-paced, high-pressure society, sohwakhaeng has become more than just a feel-good philosophy but a life-saving raft, especially among young people. The country has become consumed by "pali pali" (빨리빨리), or "hurry hurry" culture—a turbocharged approach to life that South Koreans simultaneously wear as a badge of honor and deeply resent. “Pali pali” has become the nation’s ethos, where speed, efficiency, and rapid progress must be prioritized at all costs.

It's no surprise that South Korean citizens are turning to sohwakhaeng in droves, seeking an antidote to their country’s distressing emphasis on lightning speed, efficiency, and promptness above all else. This culture of ultra-productivity, although effective in its own way, is taking its toll on South Korea's citizens: Seoul's suicide rates are increasing rapidly among the elderly, young adults, and even teenagers, with many citing depression, substance abuse, chronic illness, economic hardship, emotional distress, and trauma. According to the Korea Herald, experts have been raising the alarm for years about the increasing burdens of the country's unsustainable work conditions, exorbitant housing costs, and overwhelming responsibilities, which have also led to the country’s rapidly declining birth rates.

It's a bit grim, to put it lightly. And, in response, malaise-stricken Millennials and Zoomers have begun calling themselves the “n-Po generation," where “n” represents exponential growth, and “Po” comes from the Korean word for “give up.” They've given up to the nth degree.

Novak Djokovic, tennis, don't give up, inspirationalEven Novak Djokovic agrees: Don't give up. Giphy

There is hope, however. Alongside the n-Po and 4B movements in South Korea, Sohwakhaeng has become a significant theme on social media, with hundreds of thousands of posts bearing the hashtag “#소확행.” Here, you’ll find Korean citizens reveling in the mundanity of life, as is the case with Instagram star @Salguzzam, who posted a wonderfully simple photo of her daily meal, writing, “In the morning, as I eat the abalone porridge that my mother-in-law set out for me, I’m feeling happy. I haven’t even tasted the apricot jam, but I’m finishing the whole pot of porridge by myself.”

Sohwakhaeng has even moved beyond the Internet, with IKEA Korea offering “home party boxes” accompanied by the theme, “Perfection is Unnecessary, Share Delicious Time Together.” Boxes contain various items for cooking, planting, and decorating at home, and are designed specifically to elicit joy without stressing perfection. The Swedish furniture and home goods store partnered with South Korean pop star Henry Lau to create these imperfectly perfect boxes. In a statement, Lau remarked: “I collaborated with IKEA for this event because I often have a home party with my friends and also huge interest in home furnishing including interior design,” adding, “The way to enjoy home parties more easily and pleasantly is to be free from any pressure for perfect preparations.”


Are there ways to incorporate sohwakhaeng into your life today? For Kim Tae-hee, an office worker in Korea, inspiration comes naturally because it’s “simple and ordinary.” If you're having trouble, think small: search for a delicious whiff that reminds you of childhood or the spark of a feeling no words could ever do justice to. Call an old friend, just because you miss their voice; marvel at a well-written sentence in the book you're reading. Perhaps there's a tree that seems to wave to you right outside the bedroom window. Maybe today, you wave back.

Sohwakhaeng asks, "What could be more radical than finding divinity in a cup of coffee?" Today, there are limitless opportunities to find small but certain happiness. You just have to know where to look.

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Science

The 'world's slowest experiment,' going for nearly 100 years, is still endlessly fascinating

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

upload.wikimedia.org

John Mainstone was the custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment for 52 years.

Because we use water all the time, most of us have an intuitive sense of how long it takes a drop of water to form and fall. More viscous liquids, like oil or shampoo or honey, drop more slowly depending on how thick they are, which can vary depending on concentration, temperature and more. If you've ever tried pouring molasses, you know why it's used as a metaphor for something moving very slowly, but we can easily see a drop of any of those liquids form and fall in a matter of seconds.

But what about the most viscous substance in the world? How long does it take to form a falling drop? A few minutes? An hour? A day?

How about somewhere between 7 and 13 years?

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentPitch moves so slowly it can't be seen to be moving with the naked eye until it prepares to drop. Battery for size reference.John Mainstone/University of Queensland

The Pitch Drop Experiment began in 1927 with a scientist who had a hunch. Thomas Parnell, a physicist at the University of Queensland in Australia, believed that tar pitch, which appears to be a solid and shatters like glass when hit with a hammer at room temperature, is actually a liquid. So he set up an experiment that would become the longest-running—and the world's slowest—experiment on Earth to test his hypothesis.

Parnell poured molten pitch it into a funnel shaped container, then let it settle and cool for three years. That was just to get the experiment set up so it could begin. Then he opened a hole at the bottom of the funnel to see how long it would take for the pitch to ooze through it, form a droplet, and drop from its source.

It took eight years for the first drop to fall. Nine years for the second. Those were the only two drops Parnell was alive for before he passed away in 1948.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In total, there have been nine pitch drops in the University of Queensland experiment. The first seven drops fell between 7 and 9 years apart, but when air conditioning was added to the building after the seventh drop, the amount of time between drops increased significantly. The drops in 2000 and 2014 happened approximately 13 years after the preceding one. (The funnel is set up as a demonstration with no special environmental controls, so the seasons and conditions of the building can easily affect the flow of the pitch.)

The next drop is anticipated to fall sometime in the 2020s.

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experimentThe first seven drops fell around 8 years apart. Then the building got air conditioning and the intervals changed to around 13 years.RicHard-59

Though Parnell proved his hypothesis well before the first drop even fell, the experiment continued to help scientists study and measure the viscosity of tar pitch. The thickest liquid substance in the world, pitch is estimated to be 2 million times more viscous than honey and 20 billion times the viscosity of water. No wonder it takes so ridiculously long to drop.

One of the most interesting parts of the Pitch Drop Experiment is that in the no one has ever actually witnessed one of the drops falling at the Queensland site. The drops, ironically, happen rather quickly when they do finally happen, and every time there was some odd circumstance that kept anyone from seeing them take place.

The Queensland pitch drop funnel is no longer the only one in existence, however. In 2013, Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland, managed to capture its own pitch drop on camera. You can see how it looks as if nothing is happening right up until the final seconds when it falls.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Today, however, with the internet and modern technology, it's likely that many people will be able to witness the next drop when it happens. The University of Queensland has set up a livestream of the Pitch Drop Experiment, which you can access here, though watching the pitch move more slowly than the naked eye can detect is about as exciting as watching paint dry.

But one day, within a matter of seconds, it will drop, hopefully with some amount of predictability as to the approximate day at least. How many people are going to be watching a livestream for years, waiting for it to happen?

PoorJohn Mainstone was the custodian of the experiment for 52 years, from 1961 to 2013. Sadly, he never got to witness any of the five drops that took place during his tenure. Neither did Parnell himself with the two that took place while he was alive.

John Mainstone, pitch drop experiment, university of queensland, physicsJohn Mainstone, the second custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment, with the funnel in 1990.John Mainstone, University of Queensland

Sometimes science is looks like an explosive chemical reaction and sometimes it's a long game of waiting and observing at the speed of nature. And when it comes to pitch dripping through a funnel, the speed of nature is about as slow as it gets.


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Community

'The Goodbye Line' lets strangers listen to people's heartfelt goodbyes on public pay phones

"The void calls. We answer."

Adam Trunell

The Goodbye Line project

There are times when we want to say goodbye to a person, a concept, a city, an inner child, or even just an idea, but, for whatever reason, that opportunity has passed. Maybe the recipient is unavailable and what's left is a void that leaves our well-wishes with no real place to land.

Documentary filmmaker Adam Trunell and his partner Alexis Wood wanted to help fill that void by not only giving a creative outlet to help people bid adieu, but to create a sense of community by sharing it with people online. We all experience loss, heartbreak, grief—and this seemed like a way to strip down to our most vulnerable memories, perhaps the ones that got snagged somewhere, in order to process them so that we can let them go.

One of the reels on The Goodbye Line TikTok page (@thegoodbyeline) simply states: "The void calls. We answer." And that's exactly how it works. From any payphone (or cell phone, if one wishes), a person can call a toll-free number. A recording answers to welcome them to "The Goodbye Line," explaining, "This payphone, like us, is here now but won't be forever." From there, one is encouraged to leave a goodbye, fleeting thought, or poem—whatever they need to get off their hearts. If they want to opt out of having their stories shared on social media, they just have to say so in the call.

@thegoodbyeline

The void calls. We answer.


Upworthy spoke with Adam and Alexis about how this unique art/social project sparked. Adam shares, "It came out of a rainy day conversation about loss and community, and we sort of walked backwards into an idea. We designed a sticker, put it up on some of the remaining payphones around LA, and couldn’t say whether we’d get a single call. They come in now all day, every day, and run the full spectrum of goodbyes. There’s no single type of goodbye, but every message is an attempt to pin something down before it disappears completely. And a reminder that loss, in all its forms, connects us."

The line doesn't speak back, he tells us. "The line just listens. It doesn’t judge, doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t try to make things OK. It just takes what you give it, without question, and holds it. And sometimes that’s enough.”

What's even more impactful is the community of people who listen to these goodbyes. "The fact people show up and listen, and follow, and comment and share, tells us that grief isn’t just about loss. It’s about connection. And mourning isn’t just something we do in private — it’s also deeply communal. So that even if we aren’t the ones speaking, we can hear ourselves in other people's messages.”

Alexis adds that because there are so many different versions of "loss," the calls range in tone. "A lot of the calls are about losing someone who’s passed, but there are just as many about losing relationships or friendships with people who are still alive. And honestly, I don’t think we talk about that kind of loss enough.”

She explains how the payphones themselves have become a character in the art piece. "There’s something raw and immediate about stumbling on a payphone out in the world—it catches people off guard, and that moment feels different than someone who finds us through Instagram and comes in with a bit more context. What’s even more fascinating is how each payphone seems to absorb the energy of its neighborhood. They take on their own personalities—what gets said, who picks up the phone—it all shifts depending on where they are. The calls start to reflect the place, and that’s been one of the most powerful parts of this whole thing.”

payphone, phone, landline, the goodbye line, phone calls, closureThe Goodbye Line Payphone project Photo credited to Adam Trunell

Adam acknowledges how complex letting go can be. "There are some things we never get to say, and that doesn’t just disappear. Loss doesn’t have an expiration date. Some goodbyes take years to find a voice. And when they do, for a moment, even saying a name can restore a presence. You hear it in the messages; sometimes people pick up the phone and don’t know what they’re holding onto until they say it out loud.”

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Health

'This is the face of domestic violence.' The tragedy of Megan Montgomery happens far too often.

"Megan began dying on July 23, 2017, on their first date."

via Feminist News/Megan Montgomery

Megan Montgomery and Jason McIntosh on their wedding day

If you were to look at Megan Montgomery's Instagram account, you'd see a beautiful, smiling woman in the prime of her life, her youth and fitness the envy of women the world over. You'd even see some photos of her with her husband (#datenight), with comments saying things like "Aww, gorgeous couple!"

But beneath her picture-perfect feed was the story of a woman in an abusive relationship with her husband—one that would start with his arrest shortly after they got married, and end 10 months later with him shooting her to death in a parking lot. In a Facebook post, one of the people who was out with Megan the night of her murder detailed how her estranged husband had come to their table, put his hand on her neck and shoulder, and escorted her out of the building.


She went with him willingly, but anyone familiar with abusive relationships knows that "willingly" is a subjective term. He had reportedly threatened mass violence before. Perhaps she was trying to protect the people she was with. Perhaps staying felt more dangerous to her than going with him.

The couple reportedly had a volatile relationship from the start, and at one point both had restraining orders against the other. Regardless, she was killed by the man who had claimed to love her, an ex-cop who had been arrested for domestic violence and had been bailed out multiple times prior to that evening.

In April of 2021, McIntosh, pleaded guilty to murdering Montgomery. As part of the plea deal, he received a 30-year prison sentence.

"Megan began dying on July 23, 2017, on their first date," her mother, Susann Montgomery-Clark, said in court. "Like a frog in a pot of boiling water, you gradually turn up the heat to boiling and the frog doesn't know they're dying. That's what happened to Megan. That's what domestic violence does. Anyone who met her after their first date didn't know the real Megan that he destroyed long before he killed her."


Feminist News wrote the gist of Megan's story on Facebook, sharing photos from the couple's wedding to illustrate how invisible domestic violence can be to those outside of it. "THIS is the face of domestic violence," they wrote.


But what was perhaps most striking about the post was the deluge of comments from women describing their own experiences with domestic violence. Comment after comment explaining how a partner always made them think the abuse was their fault, how restraining orders were repeatedly violated, how they were charmed and loved into questioning whether the verbal abuse or physical violence was really that bad. Story after story of how they didn't see it coming, how slowly and insidiously it escalated, how terrifying it was to try to leave.

Those of us who have not been in abusive relationships don't always understand why people don't leave them. But the dynamics of abuse—the emotional manipulation, the gaslighting, the self-esteem destruction, the fear and shame—are well documented.

Unfortunately, those dynamics can prove deadly. Domestic violence murders have been on the rise in recent years, going up 19% between 2014 and 2017. And sadly, our justice system does not protect domestic violence survivors as well as it should.

Part of the challenge of prosecuting in domestic violence cases is that victims are not always willing to cooperate, either out of fear or shame or embarrassment, or unhealthy loyalty. According to some estimates, domestic violence victims recant their testimony up to 70% of the time. That's why some are pushing for evidence-based prosecution without requiring victim testimony, much like we try murder cases.


domestic violence, woman in fear, violence against women, domestic violence cases, violent husbands, sousal abuseA woman afraid for her life.via Canva/Photos

But some, like University of Maryland law professor Leah Goodmark, argue that pushing for more law enforcement hasn't proven to reduce domestic violence rates. Addressing issues of poverty, childhood trauma, attitudes toward gender equality, and other risk factors for domestic violence may be more effective by stopping violence before it starts.

While abuse happens to both men and women, women are more likely to be victims and much more likely to be murdered by a partner. Thankfully, there are many resources for domestic violence survivors to seek help, whether you're trying to determine if your relationship is abusive or trying to figure out if, when, and how to leave. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (www.thehotline.org or call 1−800−799−7233) has a wealth of information on domestic violence and what to do about it. The website even has a live chat where you can get your questions answered and receive assistance making a safety plan for you and your family.

If you are afraid of your partner or other loved one, there's something wrong. No one should live in fear of the people who are supposed to love them the most.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

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