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The incredible story of baby Eva Grace: the superhero who never lived.

My wife Keri and I went in for the standard 19-week anatomy scan of our second child. As a parent, you think that appointment is all about finding out boy or girl, but it’s about a whole lot more.

In our case, our daughter was diagnosed with a rare birth defect called anencephaly — some 3 in 10,000 pregnancies rare. The phrase our doctor used in explaining it was "incompatible with life," which looks as terrible in words as it sounds. The child fails to develop the frontal lobe of the brain or the top of their skull. The chance of survival is 0%. We sat in a doctor’s office, five months before our daughter was to be born, knowing she would die.

The options weren’t great. There was (a) inducing early, which in effect was terminating the pregnancy or (b) continuing the pregnancy to full term.

Within a minute or so of finding out, Keri asked if we could donate the baby’s organs if we went to full term. It was on her heart and mind, but we left the doctor and still spent the next 48 hours deciding what we were going to do. It was excruciating. We considered terminating. We had to. Were we capable of taking on the weight of the 20 weeks ahead? In our minds, we were intentionally taking on the loss of a child, rather than the loss of a pregnancy. And, yes, there is a difference.

We decided to continue, and we chose the name Eva for our girl, which means "giver of life."

The mission was simple: get Eva to full term, welcome her into this world to die, and let her give the gift of life to some other hurting family.

It was a practical approach, with an objective for an already settled ending point. We met with an organ procurement organization called LifeShare of Oklahoma and found out we’d be the eighth family in the state to donate the organs of an infant.

There wasn’t much of a precedent or process in place because, until only recently, most parents of anencephalic babies didn’t know it was an option. There’s this weird gray area involved because, even without a brain, these babies can’t be declared brain dead. Her heart would need to stop beating, leaving a finite window of, let’s call it, "opportunity," to recover her kidneys, liver, and maybe pancreas and heart valves. We asked about other things, like her eyes or corneas, but LifeShare told us they’d never done that before, even with an adult.

All photos by Mitzi Aylor/Alyor Photography. Used with the permission of Royce Young.

Part of the difficulty of the decision to carry on was the physical pregnancy and the mental burden of carrying a baby for 20 more weeks knowing she would die. The kicks and punches to Keri’s bladder served as a constant reminder of what was inside. (Yes, Eva kicked like any other baby; her brainstem was complete, which is what controls basic motor functions. I know, we had a hard time wrapping our minds around it too.) She feared people asking what she was having or the due date or if the nursery was ready.

What we unexpectedly found, though, was joy in the pregnancy. We happily talked about our sweet Eva, and day by day, our love for her grew. We got excited to be her parents.

I think a big part of that was connected to the decision we made to continue on, which was empowering. She had a name, an identity, and a purpose. The idea of choice in pregnancy is a complicated one, and one I kind of want to avoid here. Wherever you fall, just know, we were empowered by our decision, our responsibility to be Eva’s mom and dad for as long as we could. We went from seeing the pregnancy as a vehicle to help others to looking forward to holding her, kissing her, telling her about her brother, and being her parents.

The time we’d have was completely unknown, with it ranging anywhere from five seconds to five minutes to five hours to, in some more optimistic estimates, five days.

We decided to have a planned C-section. We wanted to maximize our chances of seeing Eva alive and be able to control as many variables as possible.

There wouldn’t be any surprise labor in the middle of the night. We could have our first child Harrison there to meet his sister and grandparents ready to hold their granddaughter even if she was only alive for an hour or so. We wanted to do what was best for our girl. That’s what parents do.

As the date neared, the meetings and appointments cranked up. We had what everyone called the "Big Meeting," a gathering at Baptist Hospital of about 30 people that included multiple people from LifeShare, NICU nurses and doctors, neonatologists, and other "Very Important Hospital People." We were the first infant organ donor ever at Baptist, and they were developing a protocol on the fly. There were plans and contingency plans and contingency plans for the contingency plans.

The process was going to be delicate, and to be frank, it seemed increasingly unlikely that it would work. There were a lot of things that were going to need to go just right, even with the intricate plans that were being put in place. It was made clear to us over and over and over again how if Eva’s kidneys or liver didn’t go directly for transplant, they would go to research, and infant organ research is incredibly valuable.

But I wanted a tangible outcome. I wanted to be able to meet and hug and shake the hand of the person my daughter saved.

I couldn’t dream about what my daughter would grow up to be, so I fantasized about the difference she could make.

What if the person who got her kidneys became president? What if her liver went to a little boy and he goes on to win the Heisman Trophy? I was writing the "30 for 30" script in my mind every night as I went to sleep. It was something to hold onto; it was the kind of hope I wrapped up with both arms. Research was nothing more than a fail-safe to me, a Plan B that I didn’t want any part of.

There were some concerns from the hospital's ethics team about Eva and our plans. As I explained to them — and to anyone else out there who has this idea that we grew a daughter just for her organs — Eva was a terminal child. And as her parents, we elected to make her an organ donor. That’s it. She would be born, live an indefinite amount of time, and then we were choosing to donate her organs.

Then suddenly, we were in the two-week window. In two weeks, we’d be prepping to welcome our baby girl into the world and preparing to say goodbye to her.

I planned on sitting down that day to write Eva a letter, like I did before Harrison was born to give him on his 18th birthday. She’d never read it, but I was going to read it to her. Keri didn’t feel Eva move much that morning, but we both brushed it off and went to lunch. We came home, put Harrison down for a nap, and Keri sat down in her favorite spot and prodded Eva to move. She wouldn’t.

We started to worry. Keri got up, walked around, drank cold water, ate some sugary stuff. She sat back down and waited. Maybe that was something? We decided to go to the hospital. We held on to hope that we were just being overly anxious and didn’t take any bags.

We arrived, and a nurse looked for a heartbeat on the doppler: nothing. Not unusual; it was sometimes hard to find because of the extra fluid. They brought in a bedside ultrasound machine and looked. It seemed that maybe there was a flicker of cardiac activity. They told us to get ready to rush in for a C-section.

I just remember repeating, "I’m not ready I’m not ready I’m not ready I’m not ready." I was supposed to have two more weeks. What about the plan? What about Harrison? What about Eva’s aunts and uncles and grandparents? What if they couldn’t make it in time? What about her letter?

They brought in a better ultrasound machine. Keri and I had seen enough ultrasounds to immediately know: There was no heartbeat. Eva was gone before we ever got to meet her. The brain controls steady heart functions, and Eva’s finally gave out.

Keri rolled onto her side and put both hands over her face and let out one of those raw, visceral sobbing bursts. I stood silently shaking my head.

We had tried to do everything right, tried to think of others, tried to take every possible step to make this work, and it didn’t. No organ donation. Not even for research, our fail-safe. We felt cheated.

The word I still have circling in my head is disappointment. That doesn’t really do it justice because it’s profound disappointment. The kind of disappointment that will sneak up on me at different times, like when I’m mowing the yard or rocking Harrison or driving to a game.

Since there was no reason to control variables anymore, the doctors induced Keri into labor. The rest of Sunday and into Monday morning were the darkest, most painful hours of our lives. We had previously come to terms with the outcome and had almost found a joy in the purpose of our daughter’s life. We had looked forward to meeting her and loving her. We knew we’d hurt from her loss, but there was hope in the difference she was making. We had heard from recipients of organ donation that were so encouraging and uplifting.

But the deal got altered. It felt like we were letting everyone down. (I know how ridiculous that sounds.) I felt embarrassed because all that positivity about saving lives wasn’t happening now. (I know how ridiculous that sounds.)

On top of it all, the ultimate kick in the gut: We wouldn’t even see her alive. I struggled with the idea of Eva’s existence and her humanity all along, about whether a terminal diagnosis made her dead already. I clung to knowing her humanity would be validated to me when I saw her as a living, breathing human being. I wanted to watch her die because that would mean I got to watch her live. I longed for just five minutes with her — heck, five seconds with her. All of that practical stuff about organ donation was irrelevant to me now. I just wanted to hold my baby girl and see her chest move up and down. I just wanted to be her daddy, if only for a few seconds.

Eva came surprisingly quick on Monday. Keri forced me to go get some lunch  —  a sad, lonely lunch featuring me taking bites of chicken fingers in between sobs  —  and I got back to the hospital around noon. Keri sat up and felt some pain. Then she felt another shot of pain ring through her body. Our photographer had just arrived and was setting up. Keri started to panic and asked for nurses to come in. They checked her, and it was time to have a baby. I still wasn’t ready.

At 12:20 we called our family and told them to hurry.

At 12:30, our doctor, Dr. Pinard, arrived.

At 12:33 and 12:35, Laurie from LifeShare tried calling Keri.

At 12:37, Eva Grace Young was born. I cut her umbilical cord at 12:38.

My phone rang at 12:40 and 12:41, and then a text came. It was Laurie from LifeShare. "Hey Royce, it’s Laurie . Will you give me a call when you get a chance? I think I have some good news for you."

Keri and I held each other and cried as the nurses cleaned Eva, and Dr. Pinard called LifeShare for us.

Then, she walked up to the foot of the bed.

"I’m on the phone with LifeShare," Dr. Pinard said, a smile cracking through on her face. "They have a recipient for Eva’s eyes."

It’s weird to say that during probably the worst experience of my life was also maybe the best moment of my life, but I think it was the best moment of my life.

The timing of it all is just something I can’t explain. It wasn’t what we planned or hoped for, but it was everything we needed in that moment. I buried my head in my arms and sobbed harder than I ever have. Keri put her hands over her face and did the same. Happy tears.

This was our reaction when Dr. Pinard told us about Eva’s eyes.

As the nurses handed her to us for the first time, much of the dread and fear was lifted from us and replaced with hope and joy again. Here comes Eva Grace Young, the superhero she was always meant to be.

None of it went as we planned. We’re trying to rest on knowing we did the best we could. We always said we wanted to limit our regret, and I think in 20 years or so, as we reflect on this, there’s not much we’d change.

We’re proud to be Eva’s parents. We’re thrilled with the impact she’s made. People from around the world have sent us messages telling us they’ve signed up to be organ donors because of Eva.

Eva’s the first ever —  not baby, but person — in the state of Oklahoma to donate a whole eye, and she donated two.

Because of her, LifeShare has made connections in other states to set up eye transplants for the future. They have an infant organ donation plan they now are working with sharing with other organ procurement organizations in Colorado and Texas. They call it the Eva Protocol.

I keep thinking about looking into her eyes some day, but more than anything, I think about her eyes seeing her mom, dad, and brother.

We always wondered things about Eva, like what color her hair would be, if she’d have Harrison’s nose, if she’d have dimples like her mama, or what color her eyes would be. In the time we spent with her, one eye was just a little bit open, and I fought the temptation to peek. I can’t ever hold my daughter again. I can’t ever talk to her or hear her giggle. But I can dream about looking into her eyes for the first time one day and finding out what color they are.

This story first appeared on the author's Medium and is reprinted here with permission.

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Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
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In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

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Education

How to keep your mouth shut in conversations when you know you should really stay quiet

Most people never regret just staying silent.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence
via Canva/Photos

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.

argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

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Olympic curling gets humor treatment as people recreate the bizarrely riveting sport at home

Using everything from Roombas to babies, people are embracing the joy of curling.

olympic sports, winter olympics, curling, curling stone, winter sports
Photo credit: Canva

Curling has become a surprisingly popular Olympic sport.

When curling became an official Olympic sport in 1998, it was met with a fair amount of curiosity and confusion, at least among people outside Canada, Scotland, and the Scandinavian countries where it has long been a winter sport tradition. Without an explanation of what's happening, curling can look downright bizarre: large stones sliding across the ice toward a target, while people vigorously sweep the ice in front of them as the person who threw the stone yells unintelligibly.

It's not obvious what skills are required for curling just by watching, which initially led people to poke fun at the event. More recent Olympic Games, however, have seen interest in curling grow as people find the sport strangely riveting. Now, curling has reached even greater heights of popularity, as evidenced by satirical curling-at-home videos popping up on social media.

Many of them use a combo of a Roomba and a Swiffer, which works perfectly:

Why Swiffer is not the official sponsor of all Olympic curling events is a mystery.

Some creators take it a little further, adding in the yelling component:


@amanda_carluccio

We’re now professional athletes. 🏅🇺🇸 #curling #usa #winterolympics #olympics #thecarluccios

Others use different household items, like a teapot, for a curling stone and add commentary:

@breanneallarie

Kitchen curling 🥌 I’m ready @Olympics #milanocortina2026 #roadtotheolympics #teamcanada #olympiccurling

And believe it or not, someone even used a baby as a curling stone, with the caption, "When new dads in Canada are left unsupervised."

So how exactly did we get here?

The history of curling

No one knows the exact origins of curling, but there is evidence of the sport (or something like it) being played by monks on frozen lakes and ponds in Scotland in the 16th century. Farmers would join in curling games during the winter months, and as the sport evolved through the 1800s, it became more organized. Rules were formalized, and people began traveling to watch and participate in competitions held outdoors in large Scottish cities. The Scots eventually took the sport with them to other countries, and by the 1900s, curling had transformed from a Scottish outdoor pastime into an international, mostly indoor sport.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

How does curling work as a sport?

Curling is played by two teams of four, with each team aiming to get its eight stones closest to the center of a target called a "house." Teams alternate "throwing" their stones, which really means gliding them along the ice. Sweepers brush the ice to help guide the stones, while the team captain, or "skip," gives directions, often by yelling, to place the stones where they want them to go.

After all 16 stones are thrown, the team with a stone closest to the center of the house scores one point for each of its stones that landed inside the house. The other team does not score at all in that round, called an "end." There are eight or 10 ends per game, depending on the event, and the team with the most points after all the ends have been played is the winner.

Here's a visual explainer that goes through the basics:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Fun facts about curling

Tara Peterson of the USA Curling National Team shared some interesting facts about curling with Columbia Sportswear:

  • Modern curling stones are made of granite that comes from only two places: a quarry in Wales and an uninhabited island off the coast of Scotland called Ailsa Craig.
  • Curling is called curling because of the way the stone curves depending on how it's spun, but exactly how that happens is still a bit of a scientific mystery. Curling stones actually move in the opposite direction of what the turn would normally dictate according to physics.
  • Despite the yelling, curling is considered a polite "gentleman's" sport, with traditional etiquette rules observed before and after the game.
  • Though it may not be immediately obvious, you have to be in pretty good shape to curl. Throwing a 42-pound stone, even on ice, isn't as easy as it looks, and the person throwing it must remain crouched close to the ground for long periods. Sweeping also requires arm strength and cardiovascular endurance.

olympic sports, winter olympics, curling, curling stone, winter sports Curling requires more athleticism than it first appears.Photo credit: Canva

  • Curlers wear two different shoes, one designed for gripping the ice and the other for sliding. The slider sole is made of Teflon or stainless steel, while the grippy sole is made of rubber.
  • Curling is called the "roaring game," which might sound odd, but the sound of the stones gliding over the ice is apparently much louder in person than it sounds on TV.

Every sport is more fun to watch when you actually know what you're seeing, and curling is no exception. If you're wondering who to watch, Canada has traditionally dominated the sport, though Sweden trails by only two medals in total Olympic curling medals. And if you're curious how Scotland fares as the original home of the sport, its curlers compete under Great Britain's flag.

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Girl stops 80s game show host in his tracks after uncomfortable interactions with other kids

No is a complete sentence.

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy
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Girl stops 80s game show host in his tracks as he tries to kiss her

The 80s seems like a completely different lifetime when it comes to what was considered acceptable behavior. Things people deemed acceptable or were just part of everyday expectations for television back in the 60s through well into the 90s would get stars blacklisted today. But there was one game show in the 80s that had moments so cringy that even for the times may have raised some eyebrows though everyone seemed to go along with it, except one brave little girl.

The Canadian show, Just Like Mom ran from 1980-1985 even with the uncomfortable moments between the game show host and young girls. The girls who were aged 7-12 would appear on the show with their mother answering questions about each other and competing in bake-offs to see which pair knew each other best. Just Like Mom was created by Catherine Swing, the wife of the show's host Fergie Olver who would often stand uncomfortably close to the girls and elicit kisses.

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Mom hugging crying daughterPhoto credit: Canva

Recently a compilation video of the game show host behaving in a manner people might consider questionable is going viral. In the video the Olver stands near the girls, often putting his hand on their backs, placing his face close to theirs to ask questions. The very first clip shows 11-year-old Lee Ann, Olver hovers over her asking what color her eyes are.

"What color are your eyes?" Olver asks before the child tells him they're blue, to which he responds, "they're not blue, now don't tell me that. Look at me a little closer." Just as the girl leans in slightly, appearing hesitant to do so, Olver quickly kisses the child on the side of her mouth and declares, "they're green."

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Dad kissing child on cheekPhoto credit: Canva

The audience sounds as if they didn't know how to react to the bizarre moment. Some people loudly gasp, others uncomfortably chuckle, while a few seem to let out a high pitched surprised squeal. The girl also laughs uneasily while the host remains extremely close. Video clip after video clip shows similar interactions where the host tries to either kiss the girls or have them kiss him but one little girl refused. While it appeared that she was nervous to do so in front of a live audience, on television and refusing a directive from an adult, she stood her ground.

This was a moment where parents can see in real time the benefit of teaching body autonomy and the power of teaching children that no is a complete sentence. Olver originally didn't accept the young girl's "no," attempting to coerce her into kissing him when she was clearly uncomfortable and uninterested in the request.

The host perches himself up close to the young girl and says, "you look like a girl who likes to give out hugs and kisses," to which the girl laughs with discomfort before saying, "not really." That didn't stop him, Olver continued, "not really? can I have a hug and a kiss?" This time the girl gives a very direct answer through nerves by shaking her head no while saying "uh-uh." She's clearly uncomfortable as she bites her fingernail trying to assert authority over her body against someone much older.

At this point the child has been clear. She immediately told the host she didn't give out hugs and kisses and when that didn't work she mustered the courage to say no more directly. Olver was still not accepting of the child's boundaries and continued to apply pressure by questioning her decision, "I can't have one?" Again the child shakes her head and says no but he persists, saying "even if I say...whisper in your ear that Alison you're going to win the show? I still can't have a hug and a kiss?" Alison sticks to her answer so Olver changes tactics, telling the child, "Well I guess you can't win the show then if I don't get a hug and a kiss."

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Mom comforting daughterPhoto credit: Canva

Alison stayed firm in her no but the host's behavior resulted in the child's mother calling him a dirty old man. In the end the host appears to have moved on and told the girl she did a good job answering one of the questions, but to top the praise Olver attempts to sneak a kiss. The little girl didn't let that deter her as she quickly dodged his advance.

It seems apparent that Alison's parents instilled the idea of bodily autonomy in her giving her full permission to say no to adults and anyone else who dares to get in her space without consent. While the experience was probably not one that she would've ever wanted to have, that moment likely gave permission to other young girls watching to tell the host and other like him no. And no is a complete sentence, especially when it comes to someone's body. There's no further explanation needed. No further clarification. The answer is simply no. Well done Alison. Well done.

This article originally appeared in May.

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Wilco's Jeff Tweedy surprises crowd by singing one of his band's most beloved songs at karaoke

"My favorite part is the host showing him how to use the microphone."

Jeff Tweedy, Wilco, karaoke, viral video, music
Photo credit: Susan Miller Tweedy

Jeff Tweedy sings his own song at karaoke.

On a January evening at a restaurant in Mexico, El Jefe patiently waited for his name to be called by the karaoke host. When it was, he gently walked to the stage in a pink baseball hat and black, thick-rimmed glasses. As he approached, the host gave him instructions on how to use the microphone. "You've got to hold it up here and just don't yell in the mic," he said, illustrating as El Jefe humbly listened.

He then proceeded to sing "Jesus, Etc." almost better than its original singer, Jeff Tweedy of Wilco. There's a reason for that: El Jefe, as it turns out, is Jeff Tweedy.

The song is track five on Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, which was released in 2002. According to the liner notes, it was written by Tweedy and Jay Bennett, a former member of the band who passed away in 2009. Pitchfork hailed the tune as "the 61st best song of the decade," which is high praise, especially considering how much excellent indie-rock music was coming out at the time.

Stereogum's Chris DeVille wrote about the album's 20th anniversary, noting that Wilco streamed it at no charge. "A bold and uncommon move at that time, and one that probably made the album sound even more experimental for those with dial-up internet connections," he wrote. DeVille added, "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is THE Wilco album — the one that cemented their stature as one of the all-time great American rock bands."

There's a kind of perfection to Tweedy singing his own song at karaoke, and not just because it conjures so many memories for Wilco fans. Watching Tweedy in a Clark Kent–like, plainclothed role, when most fans know he can become Superman at any given moment, is something extra special.

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Fans in the Instagram comments agreed.

"You guys are the coolest famous non-famous people ever," one person wrote. "How surreal. To write a song, make a record with that song (and many more) on it, and become well known in certain circles for that song and all the other songs, have that song turned into a karaoke selection because it has become that level of popularity, then sing that song like you're an everyday schmuck just doing karaoke one night on vacation, it's just…"

Another person described the scene and how lovely it all was: "My heart needed this. The children playing, palm trees swaying in the neon lights, that super fun 'Ladies' sign, a few enthusiastic 'woos' and a happy, humble El Jefe. Good stuff!"

One fan loved that Tweedy seemed to go unnoticed by the karaoke host. "My favorite part is the host showing him how to use the microphone," they wrote. Another person replied, "And the 'Jeffiest' reaction of playing it totally cool, no ego, totally kind, respecting the KJ's 'authority.' The least 'Do you have any idea who I am?' energy possible."

One comment summed up the many layers of coolness on display: "This is beautiful on so many levels. I always thought you 'made it' when your song ended up in a karaoke machine. Here it is, yet (maybe) no one knows him or the song — and that's perfectly fine with him. For that, I'm so happy for him. What a gift of a moment that must have been: to be respected, successful and famous without the bad fame part. That's the sweet spot. Just to put your hand in your pocket and sing your song for yourself and your family."

Upworthy had the honor of chatting with Tweedy's wife, Susan, who provided a little context for the evening. It all happened following this year's Sky Blue Sky festival, an all-inclusive vacation in Mexico featuring a musical lineup that included Dinosaur Jr., The Jayhawks, and, of course, Wilco.

"So after Jeff's festival, Sky Blue Sky, we stayed in the general area at a rental house for a few days to unwind," she said. "That night we were at La Buena Vida, a restaurant that apparently does karaoke every Wednesday evening."

Susan noted that she and their kids egged him on: "The kids and I told Jeff he should do it! He's never done it before, but it was all families and little kids running around, and we all thought it would be fun and funny! Our son Sammy checked to see if there were any Wilco songs available to do, and there were! We signed him up, and I think he was the last one to make it on for the night."

When asked whether Jeff was recognized, the answer was surprising.

"Nobody recognized him, although I did see a post a couple days later of someone who said they were there and that they were pretty sure it was him," she said. "But nobody said a word, and people were still talking and running around and mostly ignoring the karaoke during his whole song, just like for everybody else! It was really fun for all of us!!"

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Man who created 'Reasons to Stay' website after brother's death, tearfully shares success story

People can write a letter to a stranger and be their reason to stay another day.

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay
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Tearful man with head in his hands being comforted.

Editor's Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Mental illnesses like depression don't discriminate. It can hit anyone, and not everyone survives their fight with the condition. Ben West, a man from the United Kingdom, has intimate familiarity with what happens when someone loses their battle with depression. He lost his younger brother, Sam, to suicide eight years ago.

In an effort to help with his own grieving process and connect with those who may feel alone, he created a website. The video launching the site Reasons to Stay went viral due to its touching story and noble mission. It's a website that allows people from across the world to leave letters of encouragement to people who may be contemplating suicide. The hope is that someone needing a reason to stay one more day will find their reason in one of those letters.

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay Comfort in a hug: a shared moment of empathy and support.Photo credit: Canva

The website is simple: it displays the latest letter on the home page, offers sign ups for letters to go directly to your email in the form of a newsletter, and shares places to seek help. If someone wants to read a different letter, all they need to do is refresh the page.

"This letter was written by someone in the world that cares. It was delivered to you at random when you opened this page," the Reasons to Stay website explains.

The creation of this website was strictly an act of compassion for fellow humans, but recently, West received an email revealing that his site saved a life. The website's founder wept while sharing the news on his Instagram page, saying, "I got a message today, and I'm not going to share the message, but what I can share is that it worked. It worked for someone. We can be fairly confident that it really worked for someone."

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay A comforting hug during an emotional moment.Photo credit: Canva

He admits that the person still has a difficult journey ahead, but celebrates that they get to continue on at all. "Like I said before, social media, it can be such a bad place, but how amazing that it can be used for something like this. Like, that person, maybe it wouldn't reach them if it didn't go viral, so thank you so much, everyone, for sharing and getting involved in this over the last couple of weeks. What a special thing. What an amazing thing. It worked."

According to the Centers for Disease Control, "One person dies by suicide an average of every 11 minutes. Over 49,000 people lost their lives to suicide in 2022. Every year, millions of Americans think about, plan, or attempt suicide."

In August 2025, JAMA Network released an article urging people to consider human connection as a form of suicide prevention. The authors of the article share that there's power in human connection, writing, "At a time when individuals experiencing suicidality often feel unseen, unheard, and burdensome, structured follow-up sends a clear message: you matter. You are not forgotten."

Reasons to Stay is putting human connection at the forefront in hopes of saving lives. People are moved by his selfless gesture, with some sharing their own stories of survival. One person shares, "From someone who tried to, this is essential. Wish I had that back then. Will definitely use your site if those thoughts ever come back to me. I’m so proud of you, and so is Sam. We’re safer now."

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay Woman seated against brick wall, covering ears with hands.Photo credit: Canva

Another writes, "My dad took his own life. I wish he could’ve had a website like this to go to. I am sobbing happy tears to know that someone’s life was saved, and I'm also so incredibly sorry for your loss. I understand the ache— but you made something beautiful for your brother."

"You may or may not be familiar with David Kessler’s “The sixth stage of grief,” but in that book he suggests that the 6th stage is: finding meaning. You’ve created meaning by saving others. Sam’s spirit and legacy lives on through you and his life and death now means, not just something to you, but something to many others around the world. What an absolutely beautiful and healing way to honour Sam, and what a gift this is to the world. Thank you Sam. Thank you Ben. So special. So powerful," someone else kindly shares.

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