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Mental Health

The danger of high-functioning depression as told by a college student

Overachievers can struggle with mental health issues, too.

The danger of high-functioning depression as told by a college student


I first saw a psychiatrist for my anxiety and depression as a junior in high school.

During her evaluation, she asked about my coursework. I told her that I had a 4.0 GPA and had filled my schedule with pre-AP and AP classes. A puzzled look crossed her face. She asked about my involvement in extracurricular activities. As I rattled off the long list of groups and organizations I was a part of, her frown creased further.


Finally, she set down her pen and looked at me, saying something along the lines of "You seem to be pretty high-functioning, but your anxiety and depression seem pretty severe. Actually, it's teens like you who scare me a lot."


Now I was confused. What was scary about my condition? From the outside, I was functioning like a perfectly "normal" teenager. In fact, I was somewhat of an overachiever.

I was working through my mental illnesses and I was succeeding, so what was the problem?

I left that appointment with a prescription for Lexapro and a question that I would continue to think about for years. The answer didn't hit me all at once.

Instead, it came to me every time I heard a suicide story on the news saying, "By all accounts, they were living the perfect life."

It came to me as I crumbled under pressure over and over again, doing the bare minimum I could to still meet my definition of success.

It came to me as I began to share my story and my illness with others, and I was met with reactions of "I had no idea" and "I never would have known." It's easy to put depression into a box of symptoms.

lighted candles on man's hand lying on the floorPhoto by Fernando @cferdophotography on Unsplash

Even though we're often told that mental illness comes in all shapes and sizes, I think we're still stuck with certain "stock images" of mental health in our heads.

When we see depression and anxiety in adolescents, we see teens struggling to get by in their day-to-day lives. We see grades dropping, and we see involvement replaced by isolation. But it doesn't always look like this.

And when we limit our idea of mental illness, at-risk people slip through the cracks.

We don't see the student with the 4.0 GPA or the student who's active in choir and theater or a member of the National Honor Society or the ambitious teen who takes on leadership roles in a religious youth group.

person holding white printer paperPhoto by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

No matter how many times we are reminded that mental illness doesn't discriminate, we revert back to a narrow idea of how it should manifest, and that is dangerous.

Recognizing this danger is what helped me find the answer to my question.

Watching person after person — myself included — slip under the radar of the "depression detector" made me realize where that fear comes from. My psychiatrist knew the list of symptoms, and she knew I didn't necessarily fit them. She understood it was the reason that, though my struggles with mental illness began at age 12, I didn't come to see her until I was 16.

If we keep allowing our perception of what mental illness looks like to dictate how we go about recognizing and treating it, we will continue to overlook people who don't fit the mold.

We cannot keep forgetting that there are people out there who, though they may not be able to check off every symptom on the list, are heavily and negatively affected by their mental illness. If we forget, we allow their struggle to continue unnoticed, and that is pretty scary.


This article was written by Amanda Leventhal and originally appeared on 06.03.16













Popular

Couple in their 30s live permanently on cruise ships for a little over $10K a year

“I’m not a millionaire ... I just live full-time on cruise ships.”

A magnificent cruise ship on the ocean.

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."



The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals they’ve received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000. “It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.



Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises. They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub.



Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

Upworthy has reached out to Brzoska for comment and is still awaiting a response.



This article originally appeared in August.

Life isn't just about looking at screens.

What a time to be alive. We have cars that drive themselves, stunning art created by artificial intelligence and my personal favorite—air fryers! It's a reality worthy of George Jetson, who may or may not have been born this very year, according to some Twitter theorists. But still, even with these modern marvels, there are some experiences that need no improvement … even if they do take twice as long.

A Reddit user recently asked the online forum to share one thing they “still preferred to do the old-fashioned way, regardless of technology.” Unsurprisingly, a main theme in people’s answers had to do with “old-fashioned” activities having a tangible quality to them. Activities that require touch, taste, smell … those things that make us feel human. Sure, efficiency and convenience are great, but feeling alive is pretty great too.

Here are 17 of the best answers that might have you going back to Team Analog:


1. Physical board games

Most of the app versions of the games I like aren't that great. Plus, it's more fun to play with someone.” – @Junkolm

physical board games

No, this is not a screensaver.

Photo by Thomas Buchholz on Unsplash

2. Photos

There’s something satisfying and nostalgic about seeing the physical photos. I have my favorites displayed in frames, so I can see them every day. Makes me happy.” – macaronsforeveryone

3. Reading a book

Love to have a book where I can turn the pages.” – @Jonsmile

books s kindle, books vs audiobooks

You can see the imagination gears turning.

Photo by Guy Basabose on Unsplash

4. Drawing

I never really got the hang of digital art. It's much easier and more satisfying for me to have all of the tactile input from my work.” – @WitheredFlowers

5. Buttons for cars

“I refuse to buy a car that only uses a touch screen for everything. Much safer to not have to fiddle with a touch screen while driving.” – @Ghertomp

6. Physical menus at restaurants

I'm with the boomers on this one.” – @cptfuzzybeard95

7. Arts and crafts

In particular, sewing. Hand sewing is peaceful, quiet, portable, and just overall more satisfying. Plus I get better bragging rights on the finished product.” – @carinavet

sewing, arts and crafts 2022, best crafts 2022

Nothing beats the feel of fabric in your hands.

Photo by Kris Atomic on Unsplash

8. CDs

I hate streaming music…I like having ownership of what I listen to.” – @jbnagis

9. Notes

“I will typically use index cards because they are not as easy to ‘fly away’ or get crumpled or lost. But hey.... that's just me!” – @NoBSforGma

10. Planners

I am 100% team paper planner. It’s so much easier to flip to a monthly spread and see all my meetings, etc. at once than having to open every damn day on my phone to see what’s there. I collect fountain pens, so any excuse to hand write is a good excuse.” – @eventualguide0

planner books, planners vs phone

You can never have too many planners.

Photo by Marissa Grootes on Unsplash

11. Driving a manual car

No matter how advanced and on point automatic cars are, controlling a manual stick is just so much fun.” – @CoolMaster52

12. Cookbooks

“My grandma always had a library of them and I enjoy the nostalgia of going through them. I still buy them partly because I like the photographs of ingredients and finished meals. It also bugs me that most online recipes have a really long story with a bunch of nonsense that I don't need. Plus I like to dog ear the pages.” – @GlassAndPaint

13. Plain ol' watches

It's so easy just to glance at your wrist instead of fiddling around with your phone to get the time.” – @biggirliespants

14. Growing food 

I try to raise, grow, hunt, and forage as much as my own food as possible. It's expensive and time consuming but the result for my mental health is priceless. I know my scale isn't possible for everyone but I highly recommend at least growing something from seed to plate, the sense of pride and accomplishment you'll feel is hard to describe.” – @ElJamoNator

15. Making popcorn

I still make it in a pot on the stove. And it’s 100% better that way.” – @leaky_eddie

old fashioned popcorn

The best part about movie night for any era.

Photo by JAEHOON PARK on Unsplash

16. Camping 

A tent and a fire is so much more peaceful to me than having most of life's conveniences in your trailer.” – @Ginger-Beefcake

17. Non-online dating

I feel online dating robs us of the best things of meeting new people, the thrill you get when you catch someone eyeing you a couple of times and the excitement of approaching, the fun of rejection, because it can be funny to be rejected, and the hotness of seducing each other escalating towards pleasure and the joy of meeting someone you can build a future with. None of that can be provided by dating apps.” – @NosoyPuli

This article originally appeared two years ago.

Her delight at finding a snack she liked has people in stitches.

In the age of Amazon and other online retailers, delivery drivers have become an integral part of our lives. But most of us rarely interact with the people who drop packages at our door via UPS or FedEx or USPS, and if we do, it's usually only for a few seconds. We might manage a friendly "Good afternoon!" or quick "Thanks a bunch!" as they hustle to and from their vehicle, always rushing to fulfil their quota as efficiently as possible.

Delivery folks work hard. They're on their feet much of the day, traipsing up hundreds of front walks a week, through all kinds of inclement weather. Yes, it's their job and they're paid to do it, but it's always nice to have your work seen and appreciated, which is one reason a video of UPS driver discovering a sweet treat on a customer's front porch is going viral.

Another reason is that it's just hilariously adorable.

A doorbell camera caught a UPS driver wearing a holiday bauble headband walking up to the door and dropping off a package as she talks to herself. After she takes a photo of the delivery, she sees that the customer had left a little tray of drinks and snacks, and her "Oooh, do I see honey bunny?" is a sign of the hilarity to come.

Watch her reaction and the way she joyfully make her way back to the truck.

Unsurprisingly, people are in love with the driver and her giddy goofiness.

"I literally laughed out loud at her crazy walk back to the truck. I need more people like her in my life."

"I have a friend like that, he just makes my day every time we see each other. 😂"

"That is way adorable! Simple act that makes the day of a random person <3."

"I don’t know anything else about her but she’s my new fave human."

"OMG she reminds me of our mail carrier so much. We leave her cookies at Christmas and she always does a little happy dance that day."

Delivery drivers and former delivery drivers shared that these kinds of gestures really do mean a lot.

"As a former delivery driver, i want you to know that if you leave snacks and drinks out for us, we love you to the moon and back. 💜"

"Driving for Amazon paid my rent for 10 months. Not exaggerating when I say that it was a dark time in my life. Snacks made me smile. every. single. time."

"I mean... I literally took something from every house that had stuff out. I worked 10-12hrs+ during the holidays... I needed every calorie I could get walking 20-30miles a day."

"Even when I didn't take them I appreciate them. it's like seeing a sign that says we love delivery drivers."

"I'll tell you what, the people who leave food got me through my holidays as a postal carrier. Nothing slaps harder than an ice cold redbull and bag of pretzels and ice cold bottle of water that was left in a cooler. I had a lady who asked me what I liked and then had sperate bags labeled "Mail carrier USPS" and "UPS GUY" and "FED EX GUY" with our preferred snacks. She asked me what my favorite ice cream was and she knew my mile long loop and knew when I parked, I'd be done in 15mins, so, she'd be waiting at the truck every day all summer with an ice cream and a napkin.

There are some people who just f---ing make the day feel worth it, if you are one of these people, you are what makes delivering mail worth it. We do notice the nice things you do for us, THANK YOU."

"I do this during the summer. I'm in Texas so it's routinely over 100°F. I'm always trying to make sure there are cold drinks for our postal workers and delivery people."

"I do it during Australian Christmas. 40c/100f plus on a December day. Coke water and Gatorade always gone by lunch."

It's a good reminder that it doesn't take a lot to show appreciation and make someone's day. These kinds of positive interactions, even when asynchronous and not directly face-to-face, are an important part of building the kind of world we all want to live in.

Family

Young boy in adoption case makes incredible statement after judge asks for last words

His words at the end of the proceedings showed the true bond between mother and son.

via Pixabay

Boy's heartfelt words touch everyone in adoption hearing.

The adoption proceedings in the courtroom may have made Jennifer Hubby 5-year-old Cameron’s legal mother. But his words at the end of the proceedings showed the true bond between mother and son. According to USA Today, at the end of an adoption hearing in Bernalillo, New Mexico, Judge Cheryl H. Johnston asked if anyone had any final words. Cameron shocked everyone when he spoke up. "I wanted to say that I love my mom so much and that’s she the best mom I ever had," the boy told the judge.

The boy's heartfelt words made Jennifer emotional so Cameron put his arms around her in a loving show of support. The touching moment was caught on camera by Milly Davies, Jennifer’s best friend who can be heard welling up as she films the magic moment. It was the perfect encapsulation of what it means for mother and son to be united through adoption.

"I'll never forget it," Jennifer told Good Morning America. "The judge asked if we had anything to state for the record, and that's when we turned the camera on and I said a little something that was really not moving at all. I was just nervous and wanted to see the final decree and Cameron, I think he looked at me and he said, he whispered, 'Can I say something?'"

It was incredibly brave of the boy to speak up in such an intimidating setting for a child.

"He said, 'I love my mom so much.' And then I started to cry," Jennifer recalled. "You can see my head dip. And then he turned to me and held me … it was super emotional. And you can hear people tearing up, and you can hear the judge respond and she goes, 'Oh, my gosh,' and then she had her own little words of encouragement for Cameron."

"Well, you know what. It's important to tell people you love them and they care about you," Judge Johnston told Cameron. “And so you're a lucky guy. I'm glad you love them. That's what we're supposed to be doing. It's a good thing."

The moment was a long time coming for Jennifer who has been in the boy's life as his stepmother since he was born. She adopted Cameron because she wanted to be sure that she was his legal mom in case something happened to her wife, Cameron’s biological mother, Kim Hubby.

The family had to wait for Jennifer to adopt Cameron because adoptions are time-consuming and expensive. According to Child Welfare, the average domestic adoption in America can cost between $25,000 and $45,000. As of 2020, 117,470 children are waiting to be adopted in the U.S.

It took years for the Hubbys to plan the adoption and the process took six months.

Cameron's brave words in court and Jennifer's emotional reaction shows the true beauty of families being brought closer through adoption. One hopes that someday, the process will become easier and more affordable so more people can experience this joy.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

This foot and finger trick is mind-blowing.

Our bodies are so amazing and weird. The fact that human beings have gone from banging rocks together to creating the most intricately detailed works of art is a testament to what our bodies can do. Just think about the kinds of physical feats we (well, some of us, anyway) have mastered, from brain surgery to playing musical instruments to Cirque du Soleil-style acrobatics.

Humans are marvels. Through coordination and balance and muscle training and practice, there are so many incredible things our bodies can do. But honest to goodness, I cannot make my foot not change direction while doing this stupid physical trick. It goes like this:

Sitting in a chair, lift your right foot off the ground a few inches and rotate your foot to the right (clockwise), making a circle in the air. While making that circle, use your right finger and draw the number "6" in the air.

I tried this a dozen times. A full 12 in a row. And every single time, no matter how hard I would concentrate, my foot would change direction as soon as I started to draw the "6." I tried it fast. I tried it slow. I tried concentrating only on my foot or only on the "6." It didn't matter. My finger influenced what my foot was doing no matter what.

It's not a new trick, but it was new to me and to the people who responded to a tweet sharing the trick with various iterations of "What is this sorcery?!?"

If you are one of those people who were able to do it without any problem, congrats. You have some kind of superhuman coordination.

That's what I'm telling myself, anyway. My teen and young adult children were somehow able to keep their foot going clockwise. One of them is a musician and one is left-handed, so maybe that's why? Drummers and ballet dancers in the comments said they didn't have any problem with it.

As it turns out, there is a scientific explanation for why it's pretty much impossible for most of us.

The Curious Crew folks at Michigan State University explain why it works:

"The cerebellum part of the brain manages body movements, like the circling of the foot or the drawing of the number 6. However, the nerve fibers from the right side of the body cross the brain stem and connect with the left side of the brain, just as the fibers on the left side of the body connect with the right side of the brain. When you try to draw the number 6 with your right hand, those signals are coming from the left side of the brain. Even though circling your foot is easy to do in either direction, you cannot rotate your foot in the opposite motion of the drawn six at the same moment. The left side of the brain cannot manage two opposite movements in the same moment, so the brain combines the movement to a similar motion. When you switch to the left foot, there is no problem because the right side of the brain controls your foot movement, while the left side can focus on drawing the number 6."

So there you have it. The old brain controlling the two sides of your body thing. Clearly, there must be a way to train yourself to not have your foot wig out when making the "6" in the air, so pardon me while I spend the next six hours trying to make my body do my bidding.

This article originally appeared two years ago.