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She's Jewish. Her BFF is Muslim. And their costumes just won Halloween.

Last year, best friends Casey Pearlman and Yasmin Idris were chatting about what their two religions have in common during a car ride.

Casey is Jewish, and Yasmin is Muslim, and a spectacular new word was born: Juslim.

The term — coined by Casey's dad, Jeff — was a perfect descriptor for any ideas or values that the two faiths share.

Yasmin Idris (left) and Casey Pearlman (right). Photo courtesy of Catherine Pearlman, used with permission.

Fast forward to Halloween 2016, and the two 13-year-olds from California may have just won the holiday by turning the term into an original costume creation.

Internet, meet the Juslims: an intolerance-fighting superhero team for the ages.

Photo courtesy of Catherine Pearlman, used with permission.

"The delightful thing about their costume is that it was thoughtless," Casey's mom, Catherine, said. "It was so authentic to the nature of who they are and their friendship."

Jeff shared a photo of his daughter and Yasmin as the Juslims online.

And even for him — a best-selling author with thousands of Twitter followers — the photo took off, going viral overnight.

Reactions to the photo have been "absolutely amazing and mind-blowing," Catharine said, garnering attention from places like Egypt and the U.K. — even landing a coveted retweet from author J.K. Rowling.  

"If you’re a kid and you make a fun costume with your friend, and you don’t think anything of it," she said. "And then there’s people all over the world who are responding to your homemade superhero costume, it’s pretty special."

Twitter users began chiming in on what the costumes meant to them using the #Juslims hashtag.

What's truly remarkable to Catherine, however, is that her daughter's friendship with Yasmin couldn't be more ... unremarkable.

And that's probably a reassuring breath of fresh air to many people who've been discouraged by a divisive election season.

Photo courtesy of Catherine Pearlman, used with permission.

"To me, their biggest statement is that it wasn’t a statement to them," Catherine said. "They don’t feel different to each other. They feel like eighth-grade girls."

Their superpower — watching each other's backs — is another reason why the pair totally owned Halloween 2016.

"We’re a super team," Yasmin told BuzzFeed. "Like, friends forever."

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Study discovers people don't age steadily, but in dramatic bursts at two specific ages

This explains SO much about your 40s.

Photo by Nati/Pexels

If you feel "old" practically overnight, there may be a good reason for that.

Aging is weird. You're trucking along, enjoying your middle-aged life, finally feeling like a real adult, when you look in the mirror one day and gasp.

"Where did those wrinkles come from?"

"Is that skin on my arm…crepey?!?"

"Why am I aching like that?"

Somewhere in your mid-40s, you start noticing obvious signs of aging that seem to arrive overnight. You assume it was a gradual process that you just hadn't noticed, but it sure as heck felt like it happened really fast.

New research indicates that may very well be the case. A study from researchers at Stanford tracked thousands of different molecules in people age 25 to 75 and found that people tend to make two big leaps in aging—one around age 44 and another around age 60. These findings indicate that aging can actually happen in bursts.

“We’re not just changing gradually over time. There are some really dramatic changes,” said senior study author Michael Snyder, Ph.D, geneticist and director of the Center for Genomics and Personalized Medicine at Stanford University. “It turns out the mid-40s is a time of dramatic change, as is the early 60s. And that’s true no matter what class of molecules you look at.”

The researchers assumed the mid-40s changes would be attributed to menopausal or perimenopausal changes in women influencing the overall numbers, but when they separated the results by sex they saw similar changes in men in their 40s.

"“This suggests that while menopause or perimenopause may contribute to the changes observed in women in their mid-40s, there are likely other, more significant factors influencing these changes in both men and women. Identifying and studying these factors should be a priority for future research,” said study author Xiaotao Shen, PhD, a former Stanford Medicine postdoctoral scholar who now teaches at Nanyang Technological University Singapore.

older couple smiling togetherAging happens in bursts, scientists find.Photo by Tristan Le/Pexels

The study included 108 participants who submitted blood and other samples every few months for several years. The scientists tracked age-related changes in 135,000 different molecules—nearly 250 billion distinct data points—to see how aging occurs.

The study may shed light on the reasons for jumps in certain diseases and maladies at certain ages. For the 40-somethings, scientists found significant changes in molecules related to alcohol, caffeine and lipid metabolism; cardiovascular disease; and skin and muscle. For those in their 60s, changes related to carbohydrate and caffeine metabolism, immune regulation, kidney function, cardiovascular disease, and skin and muscle were found.

The study authors did note that lifestyle might play a role in some of these changes. For instance, alcohol metabolism may be influenced by people drinking more heavily in their 40s, which tends to be a period of higher stress for many people. However, the researchers added that these bursts of aging in the mid-40s and early 60s indicate that people may want to pay closer attention to their health around those ages and make lifestyle changes that support greater overall health, such as increasing exercise or limiting alcohol.

The research team plans to study the drivers of these aging bursts to find out why they happen at these ages, but whatever the reasons, it's nice to know that the seemingly sudden onset of age-related woes isn't just in our imaginations.

It's understandable that worry about aging, as physical signs of aging remind us of our own mortality. We also have all kinds of social messaging that tells us youth is ideal and beautiful and old is bad and ugly, so of course we give aging the side-eye. But none of us can avoid aging altogether, so the more positive and healthy we are in our approach to aging is, the better off we'll be, no matter when and to what degree aging hits us.

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Pop Culture

Irish hitchhiker reacts to learning he's a big reason why Dave Grohl started the Foo Fighters

For nearly 30 years, no one believed his story.

via FoosDublin/Wikimedia Commons and

Dave Grohl preforming in Dublin, Ireland and Lorcan Dunne.

When Kurt Cobain died by suicide in 1994, the world lost a songwriter who was one of the most important artists of Generation X. The surviving members of Nirvana lost their friend, band and sense of purpose.

“When Kurt died and it all ended, I didn’t know what to do with my life,” Nirvana’s drummer, Dave Grohl, told “The Graham Norton Show” in 2021. “I couldn’t listen to music anymore because it hurt too much so I tried to escape and went to Ireland to soul search.”

To grieve his friend's death, he visited the Ring of Kerry in Ireland and disappeared to the “most remote place on Earth.” There, a chance encounter with a young Irishman would change the trajectory of his life and career.



Why did Dave Grohl start the Foo Fighters?

“I was driving around in my rental car on a country road and I saw this hitchhiker kid. And I thought, ‘Well, maybe I’ll pick him up’. And as I got closer to him, I saw that he had a Kurt Cobain t-shirt on,” Grohl said. “It was Kurt’s face looking back at me…in the middle of nowhere!”

The drummer had traveled to the other side of the world to get away from his grief and realized his past was inescapable.

“I realized like, ‘Oh. I can’t outrun this’. So I need to go home and f**king get back to work. And so I did,” Grohl recalled. When he returned home, he started recording the first album of his new band, the Foo Fighters.

Who was the Irish hitchhiker who inspired Dave Grohl to start the Foo Fighters?

Nearly thirty years after Grohl encountered a stranger in a Kurt Cobain t-shirt who would change the trajectory of his life, the hitchhiker, Lorcan Dunne, has come forward to share his side of the story. His cousin, Eoin Tighe, shared a video on Twitter of Dunne telling his story, which his sister, Claire Tighe, edited together.

“We were down on the Beara Peninsula on a holiday and we hitched up to this place to go swimming. I was running and I saw a car there, so I thought I’d run up and hitch. When I was hitching, I looked into who was sitting in the passenger seat – but it was David Grohl,” Dunne shared in the video.

Tighe told Upworthy that his cousin was 15 years old at the time.

“I didn’t recognize him firstly, but I saw this look of shock on the guy’s face… and I had a Nirvana t-shirt on with Kurt Cobain on it,” Dunne continued. “It was black tie-dye, the one with Kurt where he has the mascara on his face. I saw the look of shock and the next thing, the car just tore off, away. And I turned round like, ‘That was David Grohl, lad!’ Nobody believed me!”

Two weeks before the video was filmed, Dunne came across a video of Grohl talking about his experience in Ireland. Dunne had no idea that he had played a role in the birth of the Foo Fighters and finally had confirmation from Grohl himself that he met the drummer all those years ago.

“So you made the Food Fighters!” a friend of Dunne’s screams at the end of the video, to which Dunne responds emphatically, “Yeah!”

Grohl released the Foo Fighters' eponymous debut album on July 4, 1995. He played every instrument on the album save for one guitar part by Greg Dulli of The Afghan Wigs. The album would go on to be a hit, selling over 3.3 million copies, and now, as a Foo Fighter, Grohl would go on to enjoy one of the greatest second acts in rock history.

As of the time this article was published, Tighe told Upworthy that Grohl has yet to respond to the tweet.

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Family

Psychologist shares 15-second trick to make kids of any age less rude and more cooperative

All it takes is a single question.

via Hunter Johnson/Unsplash

A child being rude.

Sometimes, it can feel like half of parenting is repeating yourself over and over again, asking your child to brush their teeth or take a dish from the living room to the sink. It’s exhausting and makes you feel like a nag. Don't you wish there was a simple way to make your kids listen the first time?

Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, aka “Dr. Becky,” is a clinical psychologist and founder and CEO of Good Inside who says she has a quick way to make your kids more cooperative and less rude. Talk about killing two soul-crushing birds with one parenting stone.

Dr. Beckly got into psychology after growing up with anorexia as a teenager.

“Okay, no matter how old your kid is, you can use this 15-second tip to decrease rudeness and increase cooperation,” she says in a TikTok video with over 32,000 views. “Find your child today and ask them this question. 'Hey, I was just wondering, what could I do better as your parent?'”

The psychologist says that even if the child has a random or impractical answer such as “Let me stay up ‘til midnight” or “I’d like to eat macaroni and cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” just to listen. Simply by listening, you can change your child’s behavior.

She says we should also ask more questions to further the conversation: “Tell me more. What would that be like?”

Want to improve your relationship with your kid in less than 15 seconds? Watch this reel for a quick-win strategy. 

@drbeckyatgoodinside

Want to improve your relationship with your kid in less than 15 seconds? Watch this reel for a quick-win strategy. The best part: When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids. Of course, I’m a realist… I know you need in-the-moment strategies too! Cue: My Conquering Problem Behaviors Workshop. You’ll get an entire toolbox of in-the-moment and outside-the-moment strategies for reducing outbursts and strengthening your bond with your kid. Learn more in the link in bio!

“I mean, imagine your boss coming to you randomly and asking how they could be a better manager to you. Just by asking the question and listening,” she continued. Dr. Becky says that asking our kids how we’re doing as parents communicates three essential ideas: “I care about you. I respect you. I'm invested in this relationship.”

This type of questioning builds a connection with a child that can spill over into other behaviors. “You're building connection. And with more connection always comes more cooperation,” she ends the video.

The big takeaway from the video is that when we enhance our connection with our kids, they will be less likely to disobey or be rude because they feel heard and respected, so there’s no need to act out. They will also return that respect by listening to you when you have a request, such as taking out the trash or putting down their phone and coming to dinner.

Some people in the comments got funny responses when they asked their kids what they could improve. “I asked my 5yr old. I got a mildly scathing look and she said ‘erm, maybe try and burn dinner less next time?’” Collette wrote. “My 5 yo told me to look better and get a haircut,” Mark Amend added.

Dr. Becky’s quick question is a great way for parents to strengthen their relationships when things are going well instead of trying to forge connections during conflict. It’s a great reminder that even when parenting, an ounce of prevention is a pound of cure.

Dr. Becky sums up the importance of prevention in her TikTok caption: “When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids,” she wrote.


This article originally appeared on 6.6.24

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Woman offers her 'controversial motherhood take' of never planning playdate activities

"I’m not producing the fun.”

Photo credit: Canva

Are you for planning playdates? Or do you prefer to let kids have free reign?

One woman wonders if she somehow “missed a whole chapter in mom lessons” for her more laissez faire attitude towards playdates.

In a video posted to her TikTok, Lisa Pontius shared that she doesn’t organize playdates when her daughter has friends over, but instead gives them “free reign” to “do their own thing.”

“You know the rules, you’re almost 10, you’re good, you’re on your own. I’ll make lunch, I’ll make snacks, I’ll help you open things, but I’m not producing the fun,” she said.

After seeing how other families handle playdates, however, Pontius feels that her approach “controversial.”

“When I send my kids to other people’s houses, they’re like, ‘Yeah, we made model robots and we went to the zoo,’” she quipped.

Pontius did add a disclaimer, saying “Don’t get me wrong: I love that for the other moms — you want to bake cookies with my kid with five other kids over? Have a blast.”

But for her, “The playdate’s the activity…I thought the whole point of having another kid over is so that they would just play with their stuff and entertain each other.” And while the kids are entertaining themselves, she’s catching up on chores and laundry.

Pontius then asked viewers to weigh in, saying “When your kids have friends over, do you have pre-set activities that you know that you’re going to bring out for them to do? Or do you just let them be kids and have free rein of the house and their toys?”

“ ... If I’m the only one ... I’m going to start coming up with an itinerary.”


@itsme_lisap Do you have a playdate itinerary? #momlife #momsoftiktok #playdate ♬ original sound - Lisa P


Judging by the comments, Pontius certainly doesn't need to feel alone. Plenty of other parents shared how they too opt for more hands-off playdates.

“The playdate definitely is the activity! Kids need free play. Seriously. I’m a parenting educator.”

“The social connection is the activity. It gives them time to learn to compromise, talk, be creative and just enjoy being themselves.”

“I never prearrange activities. Maybe we’ll go somewhere occasionally, but I don’t figure out activities in our home. I think kids need to learn to entertain themselves as a vital skill!”

“I would plan for maybe up to 3 or 4 years old but not beyond. They need to use their imaginations!”

Mom of three here. They are all grown now but in my playdate era, IALWAYs left them to their own imagination and energy. Occasionally we’d have something available as a special activity but not always.”

"We're supposed to plan something?"

Others countered that sometimes, some structure is beneficial. Necessary even—depending on kids’ ages and personalities.

“Depends on the friends. Some act too feral and trash our house so I have to plan.”

“It always depended on which friends were coming over. Some kids needed a combination of organized and free play.”

“I have a backup activity if they need help getting started because toddlers can be weird and just stare at each other.”

Honestly, these are all valid points. Structured activities and free play both have equally important roles in a kid’s life.

One helps them learn how to follow rules and achieve a goal while the other stimulates their imagination and independence. As with most things, balance is key.

And for many kids already attending school (which, minus recess, is a pretty much all structured activities), maybe a playdate where they set the pace is exactly what’s needed to achieve said balance.

Point being, every kid needs a little something different. So whether parents are team #plannedactivity or #freeplayFTW, there’s no reason to feel like they’re doing parenting wrong somehow.

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Pop Culture

Girl and her extremely rhythmic dog dance to Queen and blow the roof off of 'AGT'

Folks are calling this the best dog act they've ever seen.

America's Got talent/Youtube

“How do we know that the dog is a real dog?” asked Simon Cowell.

What dog owner wouldn’t want to jam out to Queen with their pup while the world watches? Of course, our version probably wouldn’t be nearly as impressive as what Roni Sagi and her black and white border collie, aptly named Rhythm, did for “America's Got Talent” on Tuesday.

First off, audiences knew they’d instantly be in for a treat when Sagi and Rhythm recreated the band’s famous pose for “Bohemian Rhapsody.” But it only got better from there, in a routine that featured a mash-up of “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “Don’t Stop Me Now.”

The dance duo wowed judges and audiences alike with synchronized steps, turns, flips…and even a cool bridge pose trick (seriously, this was a dog owner’s dream come to life). Simon Cowell jokingly asked “How do we know that the dog is a real dog?” because Rhythm was just that good.

Sagi would later end up sharing that Rhythm earned his name from an early age, already tapping his little feet on her bed at only 6 weeks old. By that point, Sagi had already had experience training therapy dogs, which undoubtedly gave her a good foundation for working with her little “tornado storm.”

Perhaps it should come as that much of a surprise that Rhythm is so gifted. After all, border collies are notorious for being able to pick up skills quickly, and there have been several border collies that have broken world records—including records for intelligence, balance and skateboarding (yes, really).

But Sagi seems to credit their chemistry less on Rhythm’s species traits, and more on his individual personality.

“It’s so much fun to have a partner that wants [to perform] as much as you,” she said. “He wants to do it all, and he wants to do it now, and he wants to do it as good as he can.”

Down in the comments, online viewers shared their praises—and awe—for Rhythm’s performance.

“This was the most amazing dog act I've seen!” one person wrote.

“That precious dog Rhythm is SO talented and smart!!! I don’t understand how he knows what to do when his back is to her?!! This dog is truly dancing and just extremely talented!!!” added another.

Still another said, “This dog is the most energetic and enthusiastic I've ever seen.”

Of course, Rhythm wasn't getting all the love. One person wrote, “I don't usually like dog acts, but this was impressive. Roni is very creative with what she does and obviously a great dancer herself and trainer.”

Maybe we can’t get all dogs to perform quite on this level, but it does show us just how amazing man’s best friend really is.

Watch the full act below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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