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People around Becca didn't know what to make of her, which is pretty much everyone's fault but hers.

An organization in Canada ran a video contest to challenge the stigma around mental health. The winner featured a girl named Becca (you'll see why she won in just a moment). Now, even though Becca describes overcoming some serious obstacles, she doesn't need a round of applause. Instead, you should just meet her and realize, “Hey, she seems pretty cool." Because, hey, she seems pretty cool!

Family

A 6-year-old designed a custom t-shirt for his first day of school and it's seriously the best

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

Unfading adornments

When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn shows up to his first grade classroom on Monday, he will arrive bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, and she asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make.

Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"







Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.


This article originally appeared on 8.2.19

bullying
Education

Veteran teacher sends message to first-year teachers that leaves them in tears

“It’s a lot. It’s a lot. Are you okay?”

Photo credit: Canva

Veteran teacher's message to first-year teachers makes them cry

Most schools are in session with many starting within the past few weeks—just enough time for teachers to get to know their students a bit and for newer teachers to start getting a feel for their new profession. There is no shortage of information and anecdotal arguments that show teachers are often underpaid while simultaneously being overly stressed.

Teachers are responsible for so much in a day that could easily be classified as invisible labor. Not only do they need to have proper classroom management skills to manage 18+ personalities all in the same classroom, but they also need to look out for children that may be falling behind. Just that portion alone calls for close monitoring of behavior patterns, task completion, task accuracy and peer interaction. That requires a ton of mental energy.

And then there are the school policies, grading assignments, preparing for assessments, lunch duty, bus duty and more. Teachers have a ton of responsibilities while getting very little credit, so when a veteran teacher acknowledges the struggles new teachers face, it can be validating. A teacher that runs the account Honest Teacher Vibes on social media has made a slew of newbie teachers fall to pieces after she acknowledged that they have it hard starting out.

The teacher warns viewers that the video is specifically for first-year teachers but offers for others to stay around if they'd like to listen.

"Hey sugarfoot, how you doing? It's a lot. It's a lot. I know. You okay? It's okay to cry. It's okay to cry, okay? Just go ahead and cry if you need to cause it's stressful," the teacher starts the video aimed at teachers just entering the field of education.

@honestteachervibes

Send this to a first year teacher. 💕 #teacher #teacherlife #teachersoftiktok #firstyearteacher #teachertired

Boy, was that permission needed because it opened up a floodgate of emotions for people. Teachers can be underappreciated by not only their administration but by the parents of the children they teach. Some parents of younger students may think that teachers simply play with children all day, not fully understanding that they are doing so much more.

On average teachers work 53 hours a week and about a quarter of that time is unpaid labor, while 66% admit their base salary is inadequate according to a survey conducted by RAND. This discrepancy in hours worked, low compensation and feelings of an unsupportive field contribute to teachers reaching career burnout and seeking employment in an unrelated sector.

a hand writing on a chalkboard Photo by Antoinette Plessis on Unsplash

Ashley Woo, coauthor of the report and an assistant policy researcher at RAND says, “The survey shows that pay, hours worked and working conditions are interrelated, suggesting that pay increases alone—without improvements in working hours or conditions—are unlikely to bring about large shifts in teachers' well-being or intentions to leave the profession.”

Feeling supported and validated can make a big difference in people's outlook, so when the veteran teacher offers up her gentle video inviting teachers to feel their feelings, they took her up on the offer. Other veteran teachers lent advice and encouragement.

One woman shares her tears, "Fiirst year teacher here and I do in fact cry everyday."

An overwhelmed new teacher used the space to vent, "Whew baby, I didn't know what I signed up for. I'm also still confused on what I'm supposed to be doing."

Season 8 Teacher GIF by FriendsGiphy

"First year here, I'm not ok, I've cried so much, been working every evening after work and weekend but can never get caught up, thank you for this," one first-year teacher shares.

"Lord college did absolutely nothing to prepare me for this! Every time I feel like I got my footing under me they pull the rug out," another writes.

Teaching can be a lot, and even the veterans have to take a minute to compose themselves after a tough day, so the newbies aren't alone in their tears. It seems every teacher needed this message.

One veteran shares, "I see you!! year 32 here...It is A LOT!! I have already cried multiple times from frustration. We've got this! BUT FIRST we rest!!"

Im Out Exit Strategy GIF by truTVGiphy

Another veteran writes, "My 14th year and I still needed to hear this! Thank you!"

It seems it doesn't matter if you've been teaching for two weeks or 20 years, there's only so much you can do in a day and stress comes with the territory. While people work to make teaching contain more realistic expectations and fair compensation, the support of other educators and those who depend on teachers to teach their children can make a big difference. So if you haven't thanked a teacher yet, maybe think about slipping them a gift card to a local coffee shop or buying things from their Amazon Wish List for their classroom. Their job is hard enough and a little kindness can go a long way.

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School responded to a parent's book complaint by reading it aloud to the entire student body

What possible issue could a parent have had with this book?

Jess Piper/Twitter

Schools often have to walk a fine line when it comes to parental complaints. Diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences for what kids see and hear will always mean that schools can't please everyone all the time, so educators have to discern what's best for the whole, broad spectrum of kids in their care.

Sometimes, what's best is hard to discern. Sometimes it's absolutely not.

Such was the case when a parent at a St. Louis elementary school complained in a Facebook group about a book that was read to her 7-year-old. The parent wrote:

"Anyone else check out the read a loud book on Canvas for 2nd grade today? Ron's Big Mission was the book that was read out loud to my 7 year old. I caught this after she watched it bc I was working with my 3rd grader. I have called my daughters school. Parents, we have to preview what we are letting the kids see on there."

The book in question, "Ron's Big Mission," highlights a true story from the childhood of Challenger astronaut Ron McNair, who had experienced discrimination as a child in South Carolina because he was Black. In 1959, when he was nine years old, McNair wanted to check out books at the library, but the librarian told him the library didn't loan books to "coloreds." McNair refused to leave the library until he was allowed to check out books. Rather than give him a library card, the librarian called the police, who ultimately convinced her to just let him check out books.

Seriously, what issue could this parent possibly take with such an inspiring story of a kid standing up to injustice and fighting for the right to educate himself? This was a child who single-handedly changed a library's racial segregation policy and grew up to be an astronaut—a genuine, real-life hero. What is there to take issue with? The parent didn't specify, so we're left to conjecture, but if there's any other possible reason than racism, I can't think of one.

Rockwood Education Equity and Diversity Director Brittany Hogan told KMOX News Radio that after hearing of the complaint, other parents responded immediately in the book's defense.

"They were saying this is amazing that they were buying copies of the book," Hogan said. "One of our parents came out and said she was going to purchase a copy for every second-grader at the elementary school that her children attends."

Hogan called McNair a hero and said, "He deserves to be celebrated. His story deserves to be told to our children. It's important that we continue to move in a space that embeds diverse curriculum."

And the school responded in the best possible way—by announcing the book was going to be read aloud to the whole student body via Zoom. That's how you shut down a bigot. Boom.

Here's Pond Elementary Principal Carlos Diaz-Granados reading "Ron's Big Mission" to students via Zoom and sharing why he thinks it's an important book for kids:



- YouTubewww.youtube.com



This article originally appeared on 9.18.23

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Education

Oklahoma revoked this teacher's license for standing up against book bans. She's not backing down.

Summer Boismier's fight against censorship began in her classroom, when she covered her bookshelf in red tape that bore the words “Books the state didn’t want you to read.”

Photos courtesy of Summer Boismier

Summer Boismier drew attention in 2022 for covering part of her classroom bookshelf in red tape that bore the words “Books the state didn’t want you to read.”

Summer Boismier didn’t set out to be a teacher, and certainly not a “trouble-making” one. But over the past couple of years, as conservative states have enacted legislative restrictions on access to books in public schools, trouble making became an opportunity to take a stand. And take a stand, she did.

Boismier, who had been teaching English in Oklahoma for nearly a decade, drew national attention (and vitriol) back in 2022 for covering part of her classroom bookshelf in red tape that bore the words “Books the state didn’t want you to read.”

This was in response to her and other teachers in the English department being advised to restrict or remove student access to their classroom libraries, as to not violate Oklahoma’s new “divisive concepts” law, HB 1775. They received this warning mere days before the school year would begin.

Boismier also gave students a QR code link to the Brooklyn Public Library, which provides access to a variety of banned books. In an email interview with Upworthy, the 9-year teaching veteran said that though she knew there would be consequences, “it was important to me that my new students knew unequivocally where I stood on the state-sanctioned bigotry coming from the capitol.”

Cut to August of 2024, and Boismier got the retribution she had suspected might be coming for her. The Oklahoma State Board of Education (OSBE) voted unanimously to formally revoke her teaching license, stripping her livelihood. It’s worth noting that Boismier had already resigned from her original position in Oklahoma and began working at the Brooklyn Public library after receiving threats on social media.

And yet, this has not tempted Boismier to give up on her cause to fight censorship…a subject on which she does not mince words.

“Censorship makes the world smaller; it makes the world scarier. It teaches us to fear experiences and ideas different from our own. Censorship is a thief. It divides and conquers; it steals the possibility and opportunity that come from community, from what happens when we put our collective heads together.
Plus, censorship is just so darn tired. Empathy and understanding are far more interesting, far more worth fighting for because we already know where fear leads, but joy …?”

Repeatedly throughout our email conversation, Boismier states that her mission is “not about the books” themselves, but rather “the lives they reflect and represent and reify.” She has seen firsthand how students—especially those from LGBTQIA+ and/or BIPOC communities–are feeling the loss of stories “that speak to the fundamental parts of themselves,” and the empowerment those stories provide.

And this is why she continues advocating for them, license or no. She also encourages others to treat the situation not as a “red-state only” issue, but more of a “all-hands-on-deck five-alarm fire.”

book bans, book ban oklahoma, banned books, teachers"Ultimately, it’s not about the books, though. It’s about the lives they reflect and represent and reify, or as Dr. Rudine Sims Bishop describes, 'mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors.” —Summer BoismierPhotos courtesy of Summer Boismier

How YOU can help

Boismier has made a handy list of organizations working to defend intellectual freedom that you can promote, including:

EveryLibrary

Unite Against Book Bans

Brooklyn Public Library

Run for Something

You can also download and share The Brooklyn Library’s media kit, which includes a flyer, a printable sticker sheet, the official Books Unbanned artwork, Brooklyn Public Library's logo and a QR code, here.

In addition, Boismier urges people to use public libraries, call legislators, attend and speak at school board meetings, correct mis- and disinformation and last, but certainly not least this election year…vote responsibly.

As she so eloquently put it: “It is up to us to keep the words, keep the faith…and keep it up.”

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Sober woman shares the 1-minute psychological trick she uses to stop alcohol cravings

Can you really have "just one"?

via Terricks Noah/Pexels and Louis Laboratory/Pexels

A woman having a whiskey and another with a tape player

For people who have problems with alcohol, it’s nearly impossible to go out and have “just one” drink. After one drink, their inhibitions are lowered, which leads to drink two, drink three and then it’s off to the races. Chances are the following day will be one of regrets and consequences.

A TikTok user named Danielle, also known as the Sober Rebel, who has been sober for over five years, has a practice she uses to make sure she doesn’t fall for the “just one” trick her alcoholic mind plays on her.

“Alcohol cravings can legit hijack your brain and overtake your mind, leaving you feeling super powerless in that moment. Because in that moment, the desire to drink can be larger than your initial intention to not drink alcohol in the first place,” Danielle says in the video with over 675,000 views. “So we're gonna walk through a little visualization and we're gonna talk about this powerful exercise that is called playing the tape forward.”

Danielle plays out a scenario where you go out with your friends but don't want to drink because you're going hiking the next day and want to be fresh as a daisy. However, when you get to the restaurant, everyone is having a great time and you crave a drink.

“In that moment, you have to decide, like, are you gonna drink or are you gonna stick to the initial plan?" Danielle asks.

@thedanielledigrandi

Works everytime 🌟 Resources for sobriety, your alcohol free journey or sober curious 🔗 #sober #soberaf #sobercurious #sobertips #sobertiktok #fyp #alcoholfreejourney

When people who don’t want to drink are tempted to have “just one,” Danielle’s one-minute exercise can be a lifesaver. She says before you buy that martini, you should play out the scenario that will unfold if you have the drink, like a “movie unfolding in front of you.” But in this film, the drink is the focal point.

“So, based on your previous experiences with alcohol, what happened? Do you stop at one drink, or do you have two drinks and then like your inhibitions kinda go out the window and then you're like, f**k it, I'm going to have more?” she asks. Eventually, in Danielle’s scenario, the evening ends in complete debauchery and you wake up the following day with a pounding headache.

“Then you wake up the next morning and you are ridden with anxiety. Maybe the lights are still on because you passed out and all of your clothes and you have a pounding headache and then any plan that you had went out the window,” she concludes the scenario.

Then you ask yourself the question: Is the instant gratification of having this drink enough to justify the pain I will most likely face tomorrow morning?

Playing the tape forward isn’t just a technique people use in recovery. It’s a cognitive-behavioral tool that psychologists use to help people improve their decision-making in various scenarios. According to The Daily Sober, the practice gives us a clear idea of what may happen when we make terrible decisions and that one minute also buys us some time to let the craving pass.

“By vividly imagining these outcomes, we can gain a more transparent, more comprehensive perspective of the ramifications of our decisions,” The Daily Sober writes. “This process of 'Playing the tape through' brings a sense of clarity, enlightening us about the potential consequences of our actions. It helps grind our decision-making rather than being swayed by momentary impulses or cravings."

The TikTok video resonated with many of Danielle's followers trying to stay sober.

“I’m 9 months sober, but sometimes it comes knocking loud. But playing the tape right through instead of the trailer is key. Cuz the trailer looks great, but the movie looks tragic,” one commenter wrote. “Playing it forward, I learned this a few years back, a great way to stay sober,” another added.

“86 days today for me! This is incredibly good advice. Those cravings are liars, so shining a light on them is super helpful,” another commenter wrote.

It takes more than one behavioral technique for someone with a severe drinking problem to get sober. But, for those who want to stop drinking or at least be more intentional with their use, the more tools available, the better. That’s why it’s beautiful that Danielle has shared the play-the-tape-forward strategy on TikTok. Hopefully, it'll result in fewer of us falling victim to the “just one” trick our minds play on us.

Sure, having that drink will bring you instant gratification, but it can also be the starting point for an evening you’ll regret when the sun rises.

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