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If you're living with anxiety, here's what you need to know about your brain.

Last weekend, I went to a speed-dating event. Just walking up to the door made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I like to think of myself as a social, outgoing person. But when it comes to anything related to dating, I can be painfully shy.

A speed dating event in the U.K. Photo by Jack Taylor/AFP/Getty Images.

As I got closer to the building, I started to feel like there was some horrible, inaudible, invisible static in the air that only I could sense. To anyone else, I'm sure everything looked perfectly normal — the bar was nice, all the people I met were very lovely ... but I couldn't help but feel that static playing across the back of my neck.

I was, in other words, anxious.

Everyone gets anxious sometimes, and that's OK.

Image via iStock.

In fact, anxiety is a normal and evolutionary biological response to stressful situations. Our brains are really good at linking bad experiences (like awkward dates) and stimuli together, mostly because it keeps us safe.

If something bad happens and then you're in a similar situation in the future (like, say, having to talk to nearly 20 strangers in five-minute increments), your brain holds up big signs to help you remember to stay safe — signs like that prickling feeling on the back of my neck.

Other signs can be mental symptoms, like hypervigilance or intrusive thoughts, or physical ones, like a racing heartbeat or feeling nauseous or dizzy. And these can sometimes be really, really hard to ignore.

"[Anxiety is] a whole-body, a whole-mind, a whole-person experience," Dr. Michael Irvine told Upworthy.

Irvine is a clinical psychologist who knows a lot about anxiety. He's worked extensively with combat veterans experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder, a diagnosis that, at its heart, is about anxiety.

“It’s not just battling your thoughts. The work isn’t just trying to convince yourself not to be scared. Anxiety is a reflex."

Irvine explained that fighting off anxiety isn't as simple as just ignoring those anxious feelings.

“It’s not just battling your thoughts," said Irvine. "The work isn’t just trying to convince yourself not to be scared. Anxiety is a reflex."

And anxiety doesn't just affect our bodies and minds; it can actually affect how we see the world every day.

An anxious job applicant, circa 1940. Photo by Rondal Patridge/National Archives/Wikimedia Commons.

An experiment from the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel showed clearly that having anxiety can affect our ability to process sights and sounds.

Researchers from the lab set up the experiment by training volunteers with specific sounds. They taught them that some sounds had good outcomes (gaining money), and some had bad outcomes (losing money).

Then they played the good and bad sounds, plus some benign and neutral ones, back to the volunteers. And what they found was fascinating: The volunteers with anxiety were more likely to identify benign sounds as bad sounds, too, even though those sounds were neutral.

Why? It wasn't a conscious decision. Instead, the anxious volunteers' brains had automatically overcompensated. In trying to keep them safe, their brains had changed the way they perceived all the sounds, not just the bad ones.

This might sound like an odd scenario, but it helps to explain why the speed-dating event was so weird for me. To outsiders, the event looked like a couple dozen young people enjoying themselves. But to my brain, through the filter of anxiety, the event was suddenly attached to bad dates of years past and uncomfortable social interactions. What might seem benign to everyone else actually looked much worse to me.

Sometimes, though, our brains take it too far.

Anxiety is normal — especially after a bad event — but, similar to how an overactive immune system can give us allergies, our brain's natural protective response can sometimes overcompensate. And when anxiety progresses to the point where it disrupts your everyday life, that's when it becomes what psychologists would call an anxiety disorder.

The U.S. Army now requires soldiers take suicide awareness classes. PTSD, an anxiety disorder, may be associated with higher suicide rates in soldiers. Photo from Chris Hondros/Getty Images.

About 1 out of every 5 adults in the U.S. is affected by an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders come in a lot of different forms, too, ranging from social anxiety disorder to PTSD.

I don’t have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, but for folks who do, the symptoms can be really paralyzing. Those intrusive thoughts and physical symptoms can keep people with anxiety disorders from leaving the house. The symptoms can make them struggle at work and seriously affect their quality of life.

The stigma of having an anxiety disorder can be just as tough as the symptoms, too.

Image from iStock.

Even though 1 in 5 people struggles with it, people who are living with anxiety disorders often feel like they should be able to fix themselves alone — to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. In a 2007 survey, only 25% of people with mental health symptoms said they believed people would be sympathetic to their stories.

But in reality, anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of; it's just your brain working extra hard. Plus, talking about your struggles and looking for treatment early are some of the best strategies for managing it.

"The earlier we intervene on the timeline, the more likely an individual is to get a better outcome," said Irvine.

So biologically, it's not too weird to have a prickly-neck feeling or an upset stomach while meeting a bunch of strangers.

But when your brain is dealing with anxiety, especially an anxiety disorder, it actually functions differently. Things that might be benign suddenly seem scary. Meeting potential dates might make you really sweat. An overwhelming feeling of being unsettled might come over you just as you enter a new place that reminds you of an old place.

That is OK. Because even though we can't always control how our brains see the world, or what warnings signs they throw in our faces (needed or not), we've got nothing to be ashamed of when we start to feel anxious.

And if you ever run into me at another speed-dating event, I hope you'll cut me some extra slack.

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Dad's heartfelt lunch message shows how simple, everyday acts can change lives

You can make a huge difference by using O Organics.

via Meg Sullivan (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

A volunteer hands out food in a food bank and Meg Sullivan shares her dad's kind gesture.

When we consider people who have had a positive impact on the world, we often think of those who have made grand gestures to improve the lives of others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, or Mahatma Gandhi. Unfortunately, that type of effort is out of reach for the average person.

However, O Organics would like to remind everyone that they can positively impact the world through small, consistent acts of kindness that add up over time. Much like how a small creek can create a valley over the years, we can change lives through small, consistent acts of kindness.

O Organics is dedicated to the well-being of all by nourishing people everywhere with delicious organic foods grown by producers who meet USDA-certified organic farming standards.

Upworthy's Instagram page recently posted a touching example of everyday kindness. Meg Sullivan shared how her father, Tom, peeled oranges for her lunch just about every day from kindergarten through high school. But on the final day of her senior year of high school, he sent his 17-year-old daughter unpeeled oranges with a touching note about how she’d have to start peeling them for herself.



“It’s Time Baby Girl,” he wrote on a wikiHow printout on how to peel an orange with a drawing of himself crying. For the father, this daily ritual was about more than just making lunch; it was about showing that he cared by going the extra mile. “I could have put money on her lunch account,” Tom told Today.com. “But it’s one of those little things I thought was important, that she knows somebody’s taking the time to take care of her.”

The small, daily gesture taught Megan an essential lesson in kindness.

The post reminded people how their fathers’ small acts of kindness meant so much to them. “My dad peeled my oranges until I graduated high school, too. Now, I peel my daughter’s oranges and will for the next 7 plus years,” Katie wrote in the comments. “Love this. My dad peeled mine, too. When I moved out, he gave me an orange peeler gadget,” Mary added.

o organics, albertson's giving backO Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list.via Albertson's

Did you know that every time you go to the supermarket, you can also change the world through small gestures? O Organics not only allows you to feed your family delicious and nutritious organic food, but each purchase also gives back to help people and communities facing food insecurity.

Through contributions from customers like you, O Organics donates up to 28 million meals annually. The company’s contribution is essential when, according to the USDA, 47.4 million Americans live in food-insecure households.

O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal,” Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products, said in a statement.

O Organics now offers over 1500 items, from dairy products such as eggs and milk to packaged meats and breakfast staples such as cereal bars, granola and oatmeal. You can also enjoy affordable organic produce with O Organics’ fresh salads and fruit.

Everybody wants to make the world a better place. With O Organics, you can feed your family healthy, organic food every time you go to the market while paying it forward by contributing to the company’s efforts to end food insecurity nationwide. That’s a small, daily gesture that can amount to incredible change.

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Job recruiter is surprised when candidate put 671-day streak for Japanese Duolingo on his resume

Clever idea? Or just resume fluff?

@bllshfrv/Reddit, Wikipedia

Nearly two years of learning a language…something's had to have stuck.

In the age of algorithms and keywords and incredibly steep competition, people have to be more strategic and creative than ever to secure a good job. Especially when it comes to drafting a resume that stands out amongst hundreds of others.

Recently, one job recruiter was so impressed by one job seeker’s clever idea of listing their 671-day Duolingo streak—alongside a fluency in English and limited American Sign Language —under the "languages" section in their resume that he decided to share it online.

According to Newsweek, the job recruiter, named Bilal Ashrafov, was pleasantly surprised, and had even considered including something similar on his own resume, “but wasn't sure if it would come across as professional.”

“Seeing someone take that first step made me reflect on its relevance,” he said, noting that “a long-standing Duolingo streak can demonstrate dedication and continuous learning,” even if the popular app only requires a minute of practice a day.

After sharing the resume onto Reddit, others seemed to agree, and commended the potential employee for their innovative approach.

Someone sent a resume with their Duolingo streak under ‘Languages’
byu/bllshrfv induolingo

"Imagine explaining that in an interview—'I'm not just consistent, I'm Duolingo consistent!'" one viewer quipped.

Another commented, "If I was hiring, I would definitely interview this person."

Still another said, "It got noticed, didn't it? Sounds like not too bad of an idea."

Considering that there are a few ways folks can keep their Duolingo streak intact without truly getting proficient in a language, like continuing to purchase streak freezes, this idea might never take on as the new resume must-have. But, on a much broader scale, this story highlights the need to bring a bit of ourselves to our resumes. As the concept of portfolio careers, or a career that includes multiple income streams, rather than a single job title, becomes more and more mainstream, we’ve seen people find great success in listing what they uniquely bring to the table, professional or otherwise.

When it comes to adding resume items that pop, and offer a true reflection for who you really are, think about including:

Soft skills:

These are personal qualities that describe how you work and interact with others, such as conflict resolution or time management, and they are not only gaining importance across the workforce, but are highly transferable across different types of work.

Personal projects:

Whether you got paid for these isn’t paramount here. If you led a community initiative your passionate about, or even have a long-standing blog about something that interests you, this could be included.

Technical skills beyond the job description:

Do you have a proficiency in certain programs, like coding languages, data visualization, project management, etc? Even if a job doesn’t specifically ask for these skills, they could be helpful additions.

Creative or unique hobbies:

You never know what interesting conversations your oddball pastime might inspire, if anything else. So don’t be embarrassed if you’re a wiz a Photoshopping old-timey puppy portraits or engage in recreating Scandinavian folk tunes with GarageBand.

Community involvement:

This can be your volunteering roles, and mentorship programs you might have participated in, or even charities you have close ties to.

Academic achievements:

Include relevant published research papers or presentations, and awards or honors you received during your studies, or any significant contributions you might have made to a research project

These are just a few suggestions to get you started. Include a few, or perhaps your own impressive Duolingo streak, or something else. Just remember, sometimes it pays to think outside the box.

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Heroes

Security cameras showed a kid 'tearing it up' in his driveway each night. So he took adorable action.

He's like the ultimate Anti-Get-Off-My-Lawn-Guy.

Most of us had one of those neighbors growing up—the one who gave us the stink eye if we so much as looked at their perfectly mowed lawn and shooed us away if even our shadows crept onto their flower beds. There's a reason "Get off my lawn!" was a meme before memes were even a thing.

Then there are neighbors who rock. The ones who smile and wave through the window and share their fresh-baked cookies with the neighborhood kids. The folks who genuinely enjoy the vibrant energy that children bring to the block and embrace the idea of "it takes a village."

When one of the guys behind Canyon Chasers, a motorcycle enthusiast website, shared a video of how he handled a kid who kept playing in his driveway when he wasn't home, it wasn't clear at first which kind of neighbor he was going to be. But then he explains how his security footage showed a preschooler riding his bike around his flat concrete driveway every evening, and how he decided to do something about it.

And what ensued was the best Anti-Get-Off-My-Lawn move that ended up pleasing more neighbors than he anticipated.

How I Deal With Kids Playing in My Driveway | The Saga of My Driveway Racetrackwww.youtube.com

How fun would that have been when you were a kid? And how great that he made a new one each time it rained? And how delightful is it that people of all ages showed up to enjoy it?

Imagine a world where all neighbors were this thoughtful and generous with their time and property. More of this, please.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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Mom leaves a 'heartbreaking' gift to flight passengers sitting next to her baby

"That's a mom trying so hard."

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

@callmebelly♬ BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

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Man skillfully raps Dr. Seuss rhymes over Dr. Dre beats in a must-see mashup

Seriously impressive.

Wes Tank/Youtube

It's entirely possible that someone has rapped Dr. Seuss stories before, but I've never seen it. Now that I have seen it, the rhyming children's classics I've read over and over to my kids are never going to be the same—and not in a bad way.

Filmmaker Wes Tank has taken some of Dr. Seuss's most popular stories and rapped them over Dr. Dre beats in a mashup so perfect it's a wonder it hadn't been done a million times before. Check out his rap of the tongue-twisting Fox in Sox. If you've ever tried to read this book out loud, you know how challenging it is not to flub, especially the second half. To rap it like Tanks does is an incredibly impressive—and enjoyable—feat.

FOX IN SOX | Dr. Seuss Raps over Dr. Dre Beatswww.youtube.com

The comments on the videos are almost as entertaining as the videos themselves. Here's what people are saying about the Fox in Sox rap:

"All of a sudden the coronavirus isn't the illest thing out there."

"Am now convinced Dr.Seuss was some rapper's ghost writer."

"I've listened to this maybe 7 times so far. Still not sick of it."

"Yo, the tweedle beetle battle bit was fire."

Tank also rapped the cautionary environmental tale, The Lorax.

THE LORAX | Dr. Seuss Raps over Dr. Dre Beatswww.youtube.com

And people loved it.

"I'm devastated to think that there are only a finite number of Dre beats & Seuss books. Please don't ever stop."

"I didn't think rapping dr Seuss books was something I needed in my life but now I know better."

"This is way better than the movie was."

"Omg I just told my seven-year-old there was a new Doctor Seuss rap video, and now he's jumping up and down screaming with excitement, and begging to go to bed... 😂😂😂 Thanks?!"

How about a little One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish?

ONE FISH, TWO FISH, RED FISH, BLUE FISH | Dr. Seuss Raps over Dr. Dre Beatswww.youtube.com

And the comments keep on coming:

"This guy just filled a niche I didn't even know existed."

"Dr. Seuss' books weren't part of my childhood. Rap isn't really my thing. Why do I find these videos so awesome? Because they are amazing!"

"You are frighteningly good at this."

"3:05 is the literal definition of how to hit a beat with ferocity."

So far, it looks like Tanks has six Dr. Seuss/Dr. Dre videos on his YouTube channel, which you can check out here.

Well done, Wes Tanks. (Personal request—do The Sneetches next, please and thank you.)


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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People not recognizing Tony Hawk as Tony Hawk is the most hilarious and wholesome thing ever

The skateboarding legend is regularly asked if he's related to Tony Hawk.

Tony Hawk/Twitter, @srileyvart/Twitter

My best friend lives in San Diego. One day a few years ago, her teenage son came home and told her he'd made a new friend at the skate park. He talked about how they had struck up a conversation, the guy had given him some pointers, and they'd chit-chatted about this and that. "He was really cool," her son said. Then he showed her a selfie they'd taken together.

Yeah, his "new friend" was the skateboarding icon Tony Hawk. True story. Tales of Tony Hawk not being recognized as Tony Hawk—even for people who actually know who Tony Hawk is—have become the stuff of legends. The 56-year-old made a name for himself in the skateboarding world decades ago and is credited with bringing the sport into the mainstream. Even in 2020, he was listed among the Top 10 skateboarders of all time. He's had his own video game, cameos in film and television shows, his own clothing line—everything, apparently, but a recognizable face.

The "people not recognizing Tony Hawk as Tony Hawk" thing is so common it's become a meme of its own. Hawk himself jokes about it all the time, sharing hilarious interactions he has with people on his Twitter account.

This one from a couple of years ago has re-gone viral:

Which is just one of many similar stories. Hawk told Business Insider that it happens often, but he only shares the interactions that are the funniest.



Now the meme itself results in some funny interactions with people.


People's funny reactions to the meme are becoming their own meme: "I will know Tony Hawk when I see him."




Part of what makes the whole thing so delightful is that Tony Hawk himself is so delightful. He's down-to-earth, friendly, doesn't take himself too seriously, does a lot of connecting out in the community, and is just a genuinely likable guy.


And to top it all off, he's still a heck of a skater. Though he retired from the pro circuit in 1999, he still skateboards for fun and charity. In fact, he recently landed a 720—two full 360-degree turns in the air off a ramp—which isn't easy for even a young skater to pull off, and then auctioned the board to raise money to help build more public skateparks. (He did say it might be his last time pulling off that trick, but who knows. Good for him for pushing the age envelope.)

Tony Hawk—skating legend, father of five, nice guy to all, supporter of community parks, and man that everyone adores but nobody recognizes—thanks for being such a ray of sunshine in our world. May we know you when we see you, or at least be entertaining enough to make your Twitter account if we don't.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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