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He asked how to confront his racial bias. She responded with a powerful gesture.

Garry Civitello called into C-SPAN with his heart and insecurities on his sleeve.

Civitello, a white man from Asheville, North Carolina, wanted to speak with Heather McGhee, a black woman and president of Demos, a public policy group working to promote democracy for all. But his question wasn't specifically about public policy. It was about what he could do to be a better person.

"I'm a white male, and I'm prejudiced. What can I do to change, you know, to be a better American?"

McGhee was initially caught off guard by the question but took an opportunity to respond from the heart:

"I told him thank you, and I just came up with some thoughts about how he could integrate his life and learn to have more empathy and compassion."

For Civitello and others looking to make a change, McGhee offered a few places to start. From getting to know black families to asking tough questions of himself and others.

All images via Upworthy/YouTube.

Before long, video of their brief exchange was viewed more than 8 million times.

McGhee saw a unique opportunity to build on their conversation.

She traveled to North Carolina to meet with Civitello, and the two had a positive discussion, asking each other questions and learning about their backgrounds and experiences. For both, the opportunity to grow and learn from each other was a powerful thing.

"When you get to know people, usually your fears were unjustified," Civitello said.

Regardless of our backgrounds, all of us have biases to confront.

But when we confront those insecurities head on, we can grow and change for the better. It starts with moving outside our own comfort zones and challenging norms.

"It's time for us to have a conversation with white folks and for white folks to have a conversation with each other about how it doesn't have to be a zero-sum game," McGhee said.

As Civitello and McGhee revealed, the conversations are tough but necessary.

"It's just something that we don't practice, and taking that first step is the hardest thing," Civitello told McGhee.

Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

fathers
Joy

Bill Murray's 7 rules for happiness are a perfect 90-second guide for living the good life

Rule 4: "Tell everyone you're retired."

Adam Chitiyat/Wikipedia

Bill Murray shares his 7 rules for happiness

One of the greatest gifts the Internet bestows upon us is the likelihood of stumbling across the condensed, bite-sized version of someone else’s painstaking research. We’re basically living life with full time SparkNotes access.

This go around, we’re reaping the benefits of the X account Pink Freud spending 15 hours watching Bill Murray interviews, all to find the secret behind his seemingly constant happiness.

As Pink Freud wrote in his caption, “the man laughs like he knows something we don’t. Turns out… he does.”

And perhaps they have a point. While the Groundhog Day actor is no stranger to controversy, he still seems to know a thing or two about emotional resilience, and it’s wisdom that we could all probably apply in our everyday life.

According to Pink Freud, the path to a Bill Murray type of happy life comes down to these seven rules.

1. Chase moments, not meaning.


This is similar to the adage of following your curiosity, rather than passion. Because looking for meaning or purpose can put so much pressure on ourselves, and conversely, we often cultivate meaning when we are in the moment.

2. Forget chasing fame.

“Try being rich first. See if that doesn’t cover most of it. There's not much downside to being rich, other than paying taxes and having your relatives ask you for money. But when you become famous, you end up with a 24-hour job.”

This hits two points. One, financial security covers a lot in terms of freedom and security. Get your money squared away so that you don’t yearn for one big break to come along and change your fate. And two, fame rarely gives as much as it takes. As Pink Freud wrote, it “hijacks your nervous system” and “inflates ego” by placing self worth on public opinion, which we all know is incredibly changeable.

3. “The more relaxed you are, the better you are.”

Murray learned early on that relaxation = more fun, and more fun = better work.

“That’s sort of why I got into acting. I realized the more fun I had, the better I did it. And I thought, that’s a job I could be proud of. It’s changed my life learning that, and it’s made me better at what I do.”

Basically, relaxation brought on a more effortless, and joyful performance. You don’t need to be an actor to unlock that freedom.

4. "Tell everyone you’re retired."

This is apparently something that Murray tells people all the time. Pink Freud noted that this way of boundary setting is a way to “protect your energy” and “filter out the noise.”

5. "Be weird as hell"


Pink Freud referenced the well known fact that Murray regularly crashes weddings, writing that it’s a great example of how “dropping your persona” is “the fastest way to remember who you are.”

6. Most health advice is too serious.


“I’m not an alcoholic. I only drink twice a year: on my birthday, and when it’s not my birthday.”

While no one is advocating alcoholism, the point here is that health isn’t about perfection. Be human, rest (without having to “earn” it), and enjoy the treat, whatever that is.

7. “It’s hard to be an artist. It’s hard to be anything. It’s hard to be.”

This is akin to the “choose your hard” quote. Every path in life will have its challenges, especially the worthwhile ones. But, “playing small costs more.”

So, there you have it. Follow the fun. Relax. Don’t take things too seriously. All of these things have indeed been proven to help boost mood, according to science. But sometimes it hits a little deeper coming from a real person who, in this case, just happens to be Bill Murray.

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Joy

Adorable Golden Retriever absolutely loses it when he runs into his vet at a bar

No one has ever been this excited to see their doctor.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

@cosmo_andtheoddparents When you run into your vet in public #goldenretrieversoftiktok #vetlife #animallovers #petparents #goldenretriever #goldenretrievers #doglife #dogmom #dailyfluff #charlestondogs #doglover #charlestondog #brewerydog ♬ original sound - Cosmo

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

This article originally appeared in February

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Science

Airbnb host wakes up guest in the dead of night so she wouldn't miss the northern lights

"I thought it was a prank."

via MissPencyl/TikTok

Pency Lucero watches the Northern Lights.

Seeing the northern lights is a common bucket list adventure for many people. After all, it ticks a lot of boxes—being a dazzling light show, a rich historical experience, and a scientific phenomenon all rolled into one. Plus there’s the uncertainty of it all, never quite knowing if you’ll witness a vivid streak of otherworldly colors dance across the sky…or simply see an oddly colored cloud. It’s nature’s slot machine, if you will.

Traveler and content creator Pency Lucero was willing to take that gamble. After thorough research, she stumbled upon an Airbnb in Rörbäck, Sweden, with an actual picture of the northern lights shining above the cabin in the listing. With that kind of photo evidence, she felt good about her odds.

airbnb, sweden, sweden northern lights, night sky sweden, green lightsThe Northern Lights in Sweden.via Airbnb

However, as soon as she landed, snow began falling so hard that the entire sky was “barely visible,” she told Upworthy. Martin, the Airbnb host, was nonetheless determined to do everything he could to ensure his guests got to see the spectacle, even offering to wake Lucero up in the middle of the night if he saw anything.

Then one night, the knock came.

In a video Lucero posted to TikTok, which now has over 12 million views, we hear Martin ushering her out to take a peek. Then we see Lucero’s face light up just before seeing the sky do the same.

“I thought it was a prank,” the onscreen text reads in the clip. “And then I see it….”

Watch:

@misspencyl

I’m on the verge of crying every time I watch this video I still cannot believe it. 📍 Rörbäck, Sweden


“I was mostly in awe of what this Earth is capable of,” Lucero recalled. “I never expected it to be THAT beautiful for the naked eye.” This is a hopeful sentiment against the widely accepted notion that the northern lights are often better looking in photos than they are in real life.

As Lucero asserted in a follow-up video, “Our video doesn’t do it justice at all…I would argue it’s even better for the naked eye.”

@misspencyl

Replying to @PatriotFamilyHomes I would argue its even better for the naked eye. Our video doesn’t do it justice at all. To be fair our Airbnb host said the one we saw doesn’t happen very often so I guess we were just very very lucky 🥹

Others were quick to back Lucero with anecdotes of their own experience. “It’s definitely possible to see it like in the pics. I saw it this winter in Norway, there was bright green, purple and so much movement.”

“They’re so much better in person, the way they dance and move around is insane and beautiful.”

iuceland night sky, iceland, nortern light iceland, aurora, night light, iceland beachThe Northern Lights in Iceland.via Nicolas J. Leclercq/Unsplash

Of course, if you ask Martin, who everyone agreed was the best host ever, seeing guest reactions of pure wonder and joy is even “better than the lights themselves.” But still, he can’t deny that there’s a breathtaking magic to it all. He shared with Upworthy that “Sometimes it feels like it will pull you up in the sky like you are in the middle of it. I wish everyone would have the chance to witness it.”

norway, northern lights, nature, beautiful night sky, lights in sky, snow, Amazing light display from Mother Nature.via Lightscape/Unsplash

When it comes to tips for actually seeing the northern lights, Martin admits it still mostly comes down to being in the right place at the right time. Luckily, his Airbnb listing can help with that.

What causes the northern lights?

The Northern Lights, scientifically known as Aurora Borealis, occur when charged particles from the sun collide with the atmosphere near the poles. The charged particles interact with gases such as nitrogen and oxygen to produce credible, colorful light displays that float magnificently above the night sky. The Northern Lights are most visible in high-latitude regions such as Sweden, Finland, Norway, Iceland, Alaska, and Canada.

Nature has a great way of reminding us that beyond the distractions and distresses of modern life, there is sublime beauty waiting for the chance to capture our hearts.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Women's Health

Mom shares shock over male teacher telling her 15-year-old to 'hold in' her period

Oddly enough, some women didn't find it an unreasonable request.

via Pexels/Mumsnet

Not every woman can wait a half hour to handle a period issue.

There are a lot of men out there who shy away from discussing menstruation with women. But any man who's ever taken a class in basic human biology or had a mother, sister, wife, girlfriend or any other woman in their life should know the basics of how it works.

That's why a mother on the Mumsnet message board was completely "shocked" that her daughter's teacher told her to "hold in" her period. Does he think a woman can hold in her period like it's pee? (Spoiler: She can't. Different point of origin, different muscles, different biological process.)

Mumsnet is a UK website where parents come together to discuss anything from adoption to women's rights. This post appeared under the "Am I Being Unreasonable" thread.

periods, teachers, men not understanding how periods work"Hold it" is not an appropriate response to a teen getting her period.Screenshot via Mumsnet

According to the post, the 15-year-old's teacher prevented her from using the bathroom because he legitimately thinks women can hold back period blood. Or he knows a bit about biology but still decided to put her in the position to be mortally embarrassed.

The mother later said that the lessons last two hours so the girl had a long time to wait before being able to change her pad.

A few parents said that the teacher was correct to say no because students often lie about their periods to get out of class.

"It’s true - girls do use 'it’s my period' to get out. I’ve never had a period myself that would cause instant drowning in a half hour, I must admit," wrote one commenter.

period, menstruation, getting your periodWe Tried To Not Leak On Our Period For A Week GIF by BuzzFeedGiphy

"Unless she is new to starting her periods then I would expect students to make use of time to change sanitary products," shared another. "Eg. Women know if we are a new pad every 2 hours or every 4 etc. Sadly, some girls do use having their period as some sort of get out of jail free card. I agree with him saying just wait half an hour. I think his phrasing was clumsy though."

Some women, however, shared that the nature of their periods would make waiting a half an hour potentially disastrous. Everyone's periods are different, and while some wouldn't have a problem even if it started out of the blue, some would.

"I used to have very sudden gushes and used to have to carry a change of clothes with me as no pad , no matter how super absorbent,would stop me flooding. Ever so embarrassing and very uncomfortable to have to sit and wait before going to clean yourself up. I'm very envious of the women on here who have never experienced it."

"This is ridiculous, I had undiagnosed endometriosis in high school and would have random clotting that meant I would immediately need to use the bathroom Blush. If a male teacher said this I would be absolutely mortified, you should definitely complain!"

"Reminds me of when I was in Venice, I was on my period but use tampons. DH and I are walking down a canal and all of a sudden I look down and realise my crotch is bright red. Absolutely mortified. I must have flooded without realising and there was no hiding it. This was only 2 years ago so I still want to crawl into a hole when I think about it. Women can and do flood unexpectedly!!!"

period, menstrual cramps, menstruation, period leaksCramps and other discomfort are already hard enough to deal with when you have your period.Photo credit: Canva

Most parents thought the teacher did the wrong thing and needs a lesson in basic biology.

"I would be complaining, and I am not a complainer. There is so much wrong with that it's hard to know where to begin."

One poster was irate but completely right about the issue.

"Complain to high heaven! What if she'd leaked everywhere? I bet he'd have let her go to the toilet pretty sharpish. Hold it in? What a jerk!"

Another believes the daughter should have disobeyed the teacher and gone to the bathroom.

"In these situations (where teachers are being idiotic about the toilet rules) I would always tell my dd to just leave and go to the toilet, if she gets into trouble then so be it - I would back her up.

"Trying to deal with a period leak or a dodgy tummy it would be worse to not go to the loo and spend the rest of your school life remembered as 'that girl who leaked everywhere or shat herself' then nipping out of the classroom for 5 mins and maybe getting a detention."

One poster did a great job at re-framing the situation so that the teacher's actions seem even more ridiculous.

"Would it be ok to tell adults when they could or could not take action to stop themselves leaking blood?"

But the $50,000 question is: What subject does the instructor teach?

teacher, period, teacher telling student to hold in her periodHopefully it wasn't a biology teacher.Screenshot via Mumsnet

Bottom line: If a woman says she needs to use the bathroom for "girl reasons"—or any reason, for that matter—best to let her go and save you both some potential problems.

This story originally appeared five years ago and has been updated.


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