Imagine what it would be like to leave your entire world behind.
You're 4 years old, and your world is turned upside down. You leave your friends, your school, and most of your family behind as you flee to a place you've never been, where people have different customs and speak a different language.
You start a new school, but you can't afford new clothes. Everything you and your family have has been donated. You live in a one-room apartment with your entire extended family, and you want nothing more than for things to be normal again.
This imaginary scenario wasn't imaginary for many refugees who fled the war in Bosnia in the 1990s, hoping to make America home.
Melina Delkic was 4 when her family was forced to flee Bosnia.
One of many hearts painted onto a bombed sidewalk in Bosnia. Image by Elia Scudiero/Flickr.
Now a student at Georgetown University, Melina shared her memories of that time and about her family's journey since then with The Washington Post.
Her family resettled in St. Louis, Missouri, where they crammed into a small apartment. Seven people. One bedroom. One bathroom. It wasn't easy, but they were grateful to their new country for opening its doors.
Only 4 years old, Melina dreamed of becoming an "archaeologist princess." She taped posters of Aaron Carter and Britney Spears on the walls. She really wanted a puppy. And a house with stairs. Simple dreams.
The transition wasn't easy, but Melina's family didn't give up on America, and they didn't give up on themselves.
They embraced the culture and the traditions, even celebrating Christmas for the first time. They made it home.
Melina's family was one of tens of thousands of Bosnian refugees that settled in St. Louis. The community welcomed them, and they thrived.
The St. Louis Gateway Arch. Image by Philip Leara/Flickr.
It turns out they needed them as much as the refugees needed a home. It was a mutually beneficial relationship.
The economy in St. Louis had stagnated due to population decline. Crime was bad. Those who could afford to leave were fleeing to the suburbs. City services were failing. Neighborhoods were deteriorating, quickly.
South City, an area hit hard by the economic downswing, suddenly found itself flooded with new residents. Abandoned buildings filled with families. A new neighborhood was born. The area quickly became known as "Little Bosnia."
The results were incredible. A stagnating economy was rejuvenated. An abandoned part of the city suddenly thrived.
A 2012 Saint Louis University paper says, regarding the influx of Bosnian refugees:
"They revitalized parts of South St. Louis City and South St. Louis County by moving into older neighborhoods, opening businesses and rehabbing housing. Bosnians opened many thriving small businesses including bakeries, butcher shops, coffee shops, construction and heating and cooling companies, insurance companies and a truck-driving institute, and continue to be a key source of high skilled production work."
Refugees resettling in St. Louis was a win-win. It did wonders for the economy and gave the many families who were forced to abandon their lives and livelihoods a chance to start over.
The Bevo Mill, a St. Louis landmark in Little Bosnia. Image by Philip Leara/Flickr.
It's 2016 and we're again faced with this challenge: accept refugees or close our borders?
A lot has happened to cause fear. There's an undercurrent of terror that feels like it's running through the entire world. America has been reminded that we are, in fact, vulnerable and there are extremists out there who hate us.
But how we respond to that is up to us. Do we bow in fear and leave little girls like Melina and her family to fend for themselves? Or do we open our hearts and minds and, together, thrive?
A parade in Little Bosnia. Image by Jarred Gastreich, used with permission.
What would St. Louis be like today if we had closed our borders in fear? Where would those families be?
Today, Melina is a Georgetown University student. America is her home. She told The Washington Post:
"My parents and I have a house now, in St. Louis, with hardwood floors and stairs and a little dog who's getting chubby. We have family dinners in a real dining room with real furniture that we chose because we liked it, not because someone was giving it away."
And her family is proud to call America home.
"We are American because we cheer for the Cardinals and make buffalo chicken dip on Super Bowl Sunday ... I will not stop believing in the kind of tolerance, warmth and love that brought my family to America... My America is one where we open our hearts wider than we ever thought possible, and we don't ask why. It's where we give the starry-eyed little refugee her education, her puppy and her stairs, too."
St. Louis is ready and willing to open its doors again. Undeterred by fear and extremism, they're asking to once again be a haven for the millions of Syrians feeling terror in their own country.
America is stronger than fear and hate and destruction.
America is strong enough to open its heart and mind. America is strong enough to open its borders, giving new and old American lives a chance to thrive.
Syrian refugee children in Lebanon. Image by Trocaire/Flickr.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."