upworthy
More

Bullies called him pork chop. He took that pain with him and then cooked it into this.

Shane Koyczan was bullied a lot when he was a kid. So he took that pain and made this stunning video with the help of some amazingly talented people. It's kind of breathtaking and powerful, just a warning. Also, it has a happy ending. At 1:20, he reminds us all what we heard growing up. At 5:23, if you've been bullied, you REALLY need to hear these words.

If you wanted to help confront bullying, share this using the buttons below. And thanks for watching the whole beautiful thing.

From Your Site Articles
Modern Families

Fed up parents explain why they 'never want to bring the kids over' to visit

Can't you guys come to us for once?

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids. The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.

The bad news? One phrase: "When are you bringing them over?" Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.

Ceramic bowlsThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in black and white floral long sleeve shirt Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.

We all have the same goal.

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

From Your Site Articles
grandparents
Pop Culture

Woman relieved to find her lost dog was rescued by none other than Hilary Swank

Thanks for saving my doggo. Can I get an autograph?!

www.flickr.com

Hilary Swank is a bona fide dog magnet.

It’s already great news when a lost pup finds its way back home. But it’s even better when the story involves a movie star.

When her beloved dachshund named Blue disappeared, Chelsea Blackwell did what any distraught dog mom would do—she immediately went searching for him. She desperately drove through the streets of New York for an hour before seeing a line of squad cars and people with cameras near the Greyhound bus station in Albany.

Blackwell had prepared for even more bad news. “I pulled over and thought, oh man, did someone get shot?” she told local publication Times Union Albany.

As she would soon find out, Blackwell had just made it one huge step closer to finding Blue, along with a celebrity surprise.

Blackwell had actually stumbled onto a filming location rather than a crime scene. Resuming her search, she began to ask the film crew if anyone had seen a small brown dog. To her shock, the answer was yes, someone had found a small brown dog. Not just anyone, in fact, but a household name.

Blackwell was in disbelief until about an hour later when a car pulled up and she saw Blue sitting in the lap of none other than Hilary Swank.

Perhaps it shouldn’t come as a surprise, considering Swank has a reputation for being a dog lover and hero. In her 2021 interview with People Magazine, Swank shared how "every dog I’ve ever rescued and also shared my life with have all had their unique way of being in the world.”

The two-time Oscar winner even created her own foundation called Hilaroo (named after own rescued pup named Karoo), which pairs abandoned animals with at-risk youth. Perhaps little Blue was just in the right place at the right time…or maybe Swank has transformed into a dog magnet. Who knows?

Either way, it was a truly happy ending. Relieved, and a little star struck, Blackwell asked Swank for an autograph. Instead, the actress offered a picture together because who wouldn’t want to capture this once-in-a-lifetime moment?

So happy that Blue is back home, and that he has his own celebrity sighting story.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
pupworthy
Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

via TEDx SF/Flickr and TEDx SF/Flickr

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control, or the illusion of it, when it does us no good, was perfectly distilled into 2 words that everyone can understand as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose.

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” 60DaysToLive2012 wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”


This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
psychology
Joy

A pilot comforted his fearful passengers with this pitch-perfect pre-flight announcement

They should say this on every flight.

Unsplash

A pilot addressed everyone's very real fears in such a validating way.

Flying is a little scary even during the best of times. While statistically extremely safe compared to driving and other forms of transportation, lots of us feel extra anxious and vulnerable so high off the ground and with so little control over what happens. Add in stories over the past few years about planes malfunctioning and rising questions about the reputation of Boeing, a leading name in aircraft manufacturing, and anxiety is at a high. Some estimates say about 25 million adults suffer from a legitimate phobia of flying, and even if you're not one of them, I'd be willing to bet you grip the armrest extra tight when your plane hits some unexpected turbulence!

Matters weren't helped with two tragic, high-profile plane crashes on U.S. soil in the past couple of days. With nerves running high on regularly scheduled flights over the world, one pilot is going viral for his thoughtful response to shaken passengers.

Captain Jeffrey Collins on American Airlines Flight 1044 got on the PA for his usual pre-flight spiel, and quickly took a detour.

A TikTok user and passenger on the plane, Leighton Mixon, was able to capture most of the announcement on camera. Whereas pilots usually give you a quick update on the weather and let you know if things are on schedule, Collins decided to briefly speak from the heart just three days after a fatal midair collision in Washington, D.C. captured headlines — also involving an American Airlines flight.

"[Some of you] may be fearful about flying and that's certainly understandable," the pilot began. "But just please know that my first officer and our flight attendants and myself place your safety and responsibility of carrying you to Miami, to your to families or vacations or your meetings, on the highest level. I have no higher calling than carefully, professionally transporting you today."

"So with that, relax and enjoy."

@leighterhaters

Life is short, hug your people ❤️ whoever is the pilot on AA1044 to MIA, i love you #unitedbywings #americanairlines #blackhawk #crash75 #planecrash #aviation #flightcrew #flightattendant

Mixon, who filmed the event, told Today that everywhere he went in the airport that day, people were talking about the recent crash, and there was a dark fog hanging over everyone he met. "The airport just felt a little quieter. It felt a little somber." The pilot's announcement, while seemingly simple, meant the world to many of the nervous passengers aboard the flight.

“It was like every fear and anxiety I had, it felt like he was speaking to me, like, it literally felt like he was speaking directly to me. I looked around, and it was like every single person on this flight needed to hear that. I think every single person needs to hear this. It was just kind of magic," said Mixon. “I looked up, and I don’t think I saw a dry eye on the plane.”

The video touched the hearts of plenty of people not onboard Flight 1044, as well, racking up a staggering 11 million views. Responses poured in as people were so grateful for the pilot's reassuring words.

pilot and copilot inside airplane cockpitThousands of planes fly successfully worldwide every day, but that doesn't always assuage fears. Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

"'I have no higher calling' is POETRY," wrote one user

"This is the PERFECT response to this tragedy. So professional, empathetic and calm. So thankful for pilots like this," said another.

"His voice sounds like it broke when he said he had no higher calling 🥺 his heart is so so heavy," someone chimed in.

"Pilots are really some amazing people. To take on that responsibility, of having so many souls in their hands, has got to be a tremendous amount of pressure," another user added.

Flight attendants and other flight professionals also commented on the video and explained that crews all over the country and world were taking similar measures to reassure passengers, even as their own hearts were heavy and scared. Skye Bolton, a flight attendant with American Airlines, said: "All of our pilots did that yesterday.. my pilot took the extra time to brief us yesterday to make sure we were all okay to work and made a beautiful announcement to the passengers once they were on. ... They care for not only us but for you. Y’all [are] why we fly and we know everyone was scared and worried."

One of the most comforting things when you're flying is remembering that the pilots are human beings.

Of course they take landing the plane safely seriously—they're on it, too, and they want to get home and see their own families at the end of the day. But we don't really see or hear from them very often and so it's easy to forget.

Beyond that, pilots take the responsibility they have extraordinarily seriously. The Air Line Pilots Associated features a code of ethics their pilots abide by, including, "If disaster should strike, they will take whatever action they deem necessary to protect the lives of their passengers and crew."

Airports and airplanes are stressful, anxious places that can sometimes bring out the worst behavior in people, but count me as someone who hopes commercial airplanes never go full autopilot. Knowing there's a highly-trained flight crew onboard that cares deeply about keeping everyone safe makes a world of difference. Kudos to this pilot for taking a minute to remind all of us.


From Your Site Articles
airplanes
Pets

Family posts a very chill note to neighbors explaining why their dog is on the roof

“We appreciate your concern but please do not knock on our door.."

via Reddit

Meet Huckleberry the dog.

If you were taking a stroll through a quiet neighborhood in 2017 and happened to catch a glance of this majestic sight, you might bat an eye. You might do a double take. If you were (somewhat understandably) concerned about this surprising roof-dog's welfare, you might even approach the homeowners to tell them, "Uh, I'm not sure if you know but...there's a dog on your roof."

Well, the family inside is aware that there's often a dog on their roof. It's their pet Golden, Huckleberry, and he just sorta likes it up there. In fact, he likes it up there so much that he's got his own website: HucktheRoofDog.com.

To put passersby at ease and ebb the parade of concerned parties knocking on their door, Huckleberry's humans put up a note explaining the whole weird scenario to those interested:

dog on the roof; posted notice about dog on the roof

There’s a dog on the wooof!

via Reddit

It reads:

"Huckleberry is living up to his name and learned how to jump onto our roof from the backyard. We never leave him in the backyard without someone being at home. He will not jump off unless you entice him with food or a ball!""

We appreciate your concern but please do not knock on our door... we know he's up there! But please feel free to take pictures of him and share with the world! #hucktheroofdog."

Of course, they ended it with a hashtag for photos shared on social media. Also, it seems a little strange that the owners mention that Huck is willing to jump 10 feet off a roof to chase food or a ball, but do nothing to suggest that people refrain from urging their dog to make that (seemingly dangerous) leap. Maybe Huck's got the whole process down to the point it's just not a concern.

This may seem like a pretty odd phenomenon, but not so odd that there isn't a whole corner of Reddit devoted to dogs who just seem to really, really enjoy roofs. It's called r/dogsonroofs, and boy does it ever deliver on that name.

Huckleberry was featured in People and on The Today Showthroughout 2017 and soon garnered thousands of followers on Instagram. Since then, his owners adopted a couple more dogs who share their big brother's affinity for rooftop views. They've also shared the "roof dog" love with merchandise and even a children's book of Huck's adventures, aptly titled, Huck the Roof Dog, in 2023.

Unfortunately, the family shared that in October 2023 after a beautiful high-in-the-sky life, Huck passed away due to cancer.

It's bittersweet, but now Huck's gone beyond the roof and into the clouds. Rest well, Roof Dog!


This article originally appeared seven years ago.

From Your Site Articles
dogs
Trending Stories