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Mother unapologetically shares what it looks like to 'respectfully' breastfeed in public

Where did we go wrong as a society to make women feel uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public? No one should feel they have the right to tell a woman when, where, and how she can breastfeed. The stigma should be placed on those who have the nerve to tell a woman feeding her child to "Cover up" or to ask "Where's your modesty?"

It's particularly ironic given the immense pressure we put on mothers to breastfeed from the very moment they find out they're pregnant. Everyone's heard the expression that "Breast is best," which guilts moms who might not want or be able to breastfeed. But then, for the ones that do choose that road thinking they'll be appreciated for it, we police when, where, and how they're able to do so. We're cool with it, sort of, as long as it's done "tastefully." Even in situations where it's totally legal and acceptable to breastfeed in public, some people will judge whether she does so "respectfully." When, in reality, the only disrespect is coming from those who are being judgmental about how a woman feeds her child.


moms, mothers, motherhood, babies, breastfeeding, public breastfeeding, breastfeeding lawsThis really shouldn't make us uncomfortable, no matter how much skin is showing. Photo by Dave Clubb on Unsplash

One mom is going viral for taking a stand against the idea of "respectful" breastfeeding.

A mother on the Breastfeeding Mom Facebook page posted a powerful image of a woman breastfeeding that shows just what "respectful" breastfeeding looks like.

Spoiler alert: It's really indistinguishable from any other kind of breastfeeding. Here, see for yourself.




via bfmamatalk / Facebook

"Stop telling moms they need to be respectful when they breastfeed in public," the meme says. "When you can't even respect the fact that a baby has just as much of a right to eat in public as everyone else."

Breasts were made to feed babies. Yes, they also have a role in sexual arousal for both men and women, but there's still debate over whether breasts have been sexualized because of something inherent in our biology or because we've learned to sexualize them through media and culture. Some even argue that we find breasts attractive because they're a signal of a woman's fertility, which brings us right back to babies! Besides, anyone who has the maturity of a sixth grader knows the difference between a sexual act and feeding a child. It's pretty obvious, actually. If the woman is holding a child to her breast, she's not being sexual or indecent.

In fact, we should probably rethink whether the idea that a bare breast is indecent in the first place. Men can show off their nipples in public, why can't women? If anything, the societal expectation should be flipped. Providing necessary nourishment to your baby should be the thing that's completely normal.


zoolander, crazy pills, backwards thinking, society, breastfeeding, breastfeeding in public, motherhoodIt's completely backwards that male nipple is acceptable in public, but not a breastfeeding mother'sGiphy

The meme was accompanied by a fantastic explanation.

This is how a mother respectfully nurses a baby. With dignity and confidence.

The way someone chooses to nurse a child "doesn't define the amount of respect they have for themselves and doesn't define who they are. We are all human beings and somehow we are divided by something as natural as breastfeeding."

If you choose to cover up, that's awesome. If you don't, that's awesome too. The purpose of nursing isn't about who shows more boob or who doesn't. The purpose is to feed a child. And whether it's done covered, in a private place, or uncovered in the middle of a restaurant, does not define the amount of respect you have. The stigma needs to end. We are just trying to feed our babies.

Legally, mothers in all 50 states are allowed to breastfeed at any location public or private. Workplaces of more than 50 people are also required to provide a private space other than a bathroom for mom's to use for pumping or feeding. Breastfeeding in public can not be considered an act of public indecency or sexual conduct — most states explicitly state as much, and in the others, it's implied by granting mother's the right to legally breastfeed anywhere at any time.

But these legal protections don't stop the stares and the stigma. Advocacy groups continue to fight for laws that would punish bystanders from harassing breastfeeding moms. Sometimes, mothers have even had the police called on them! It's mind-boggling.

Let's stop litigating the amount of boob or nipple that's showing and equating that to "respect" or "decency." The decent thing to do is leave mothers alone and let them do what's necessary.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

Holly Morissette/LinkedIn
When a Patagonia employee breastfed her baby in a meeting her male VP's response was a masterclass in workplace values

Years after first engineering it, Patagonia's approach to the "family-friendly workplace" is on a whole new level that still deserves our attention - and praise. Unfortunately, parents all over the U.S. are struggling with burnout, high costs, unreliable childcare, poor paid leave, and more — in short, they're hanging on by a thread. But it's extremely reassuring to know that there are still some companies that value parents in the workplace and are fighting hard to keep them happy.

The outdoor clothing and gear company has made a name for itself by putting its money where its mouth is. From creating backpacks out of 100% recycled materials to donating their $10 million tax cut to fight climate change to refusing to sell to clients who harm the environment, Patagonia leads by example. It's made them not only an admired brand when it comes to values and integrity, but a beloved one with its own customers, who are fiercely loyal.

That dedication to principle is clear in its policies for parents who work for them, as evidenced by a 2019 viral post from Holly Morisette, a recruiter at Patagonia.


patagonia, workplace, office, career, benefits, paid leave, parental leave, parentingPatagona has always done a great job taking care of its employeesYukiko Matsuoka/Flickr

Morissette's stunning story begins with bringing her baby into a meeting at the office and proceeding to breastfeed as the team around her continued to discuss ROI, KPIs, EBITDA, and all those other acronyms corporate office culture loves so much.

That's when a male colleague took note of what she was doing.

Morrissette described the incident later on LinkedIn:

While nursing my baby during a morning meeting the other day after a recent return from maternity leave, our VP (Dean Carter) turned to me and said...”There is no way to measure the ROI on that. But I know it’s huge.”

It got me thinking...with the immense gratitude that I have for on-site childcare at Patagonia comes a responsibility to share a “call to action”. A PSA to tout the extraordinary benefits that come along with not asking employees to make the gut wrenching decision to either leave their jobs or leave their babies. TO HAVE TO LEAVE THEIR JOBS OR LEAVE THEIR BABIES. That perhaps just one person will brave the subject with their employer (big or small) in the hopes that it gets the wheels turning to think differently about how to truly support working families.

That with a bit of creativity, and a whole lot of guts, companies can create a workplace where mothers aren’t hiding in broom closets pumping milk, but rather visiting their babies for large doses of love and serotonin before returning to their work and kicking ass.

It’s no wonder that Patagonia has 100% retention of moms. Keeping them close to their babies keeps them engaged. And engaged mothers (and fathers!) get stuff done.

Thank you, Patagonia, for leading the way.

patagonia, kids, children, parenting, employee benefits, company culture, parental leave, paid leaveWhile nursing my baby during a morning meeting the other day after a…www.linkedin.com


The post gathered massive attention on social media where commenters were smitten, if a little jealous:

"I was never so confident to nurse during a meeting, but I love that you were. I especially love the response. No different than an adult eating a protein bar. No one should bat an eye."

"I am in absolute awe over your story and I thank you so much for sharing it. We go to work to support our families, but we stay with great companies because they support us as people, as humans, and they see us and appreciate us where we are at. Beautiful."

"Amazing! How I wish I had this with by kids. One of my "fun" memories was when I worked for an insurance company with no room available for nursing moms. I pumped 3 times a day in an empty office with no window shades nor a lock."

Just the first eight words of Morissette's post are extraordinary. "While nursing my baby during a morning meeting..."


the office, office, workplace, career, parenting, working moms, breastfeedingNot sure if Dwight Schrute would be as accomodating.Giphy

As if that's totally normal. As if everyone understands that working moms can be much more engaged and efficient in their jobs if they can feed their baby while they go over sales figures. As if the long-held belief that life and work must be completely separate is a construct that deserves to be challenged.

And then the comment from her male colleague about the ROI (Return on Investment) of breastfeeding—witty, considering the time and place, and yet so supportive.

On-site childcare so that parents don't have to choose between leaving their jobs or leaving their babies. Letting life integrate with work so that working families don't have to constantly feel torn in two different directions. Flexibility in meetings and schedules. Allowing for the natural rhythms and needs of breastfeeders. Making childcare as easy and accessible as possible so that employees can be more effective in their jobs.

All of this seems so profoundly logical, it's a wonder that more companies have not figured this out sooner. Clearly, it works. I mean, who has ever heard of a 100% retention rate for mothers?

But that's not all folks! Patagonia has extended its support for parents in recent years by allowing up to a staggering 16 paid weeks off. Parents and non-parents alike also enjoy top-notch healthcare, college tuition reimbursement, and so much more.


Patagonia founder discusses why the company's values are so importantwww.youtube.com

The company could almost be a case study in employee retention when it comes to parents. Experts say the things workers value the most in their career when they have children are paid time off, flexible scheduling, and help with childcare.

One more thing that makes a huge difference? A great manager who understands and supports the parent's needs. In this case, maybe one who doesn't flinch at a breastfeeding mother in the workplace.

Patagonia's got it goin' on. Let's hope more companies take their lead.

This article originally appeared on six years ago.

Christie Werts and her son, Levi

Christie and Wesley Werts have taken the idea of a blended family to the next level. When the couple fell in love five years ago and married, they brought together her children, Megan and Vance, and his children, Austin and Dakota.

As of January, the Ohio family has five children after adopting young Levi, 2. Levi is the son of Wesley’s ex-wife, who passed away four days after the child was born. The ex-wife had the boy prematurely, at 33 weeks, and died soon after from drug addiction and complications of COVID-19.

When Levi was born, he was a ward of the state with no first name or birth certificate.

“When I heard about Levi, without hesitation, I said we should take him,” Christie said, according to The Daily Mail, and her reason went far beyond the fact that the child was the half-brother to two of her recently adopted children. “I myself was a foster kid and, although for the most part, I had a great experience, I did not want him going to foster care,” Christie said.



@cjthemom5

Replying to @Journey♥️ Yes, they will always know of her and ill be there for every emotion good or bad. But im also mom, ive been to every game, every doctors appt, sat with them if they needed an ear loved unconditional . I am mom also. #adoption #srorytime #siblings #foryou #loveislove


Before the family knew of Levi’s birth, Christie had a recurring dream about a blue-eyed, blonde-haired boy.

"Before Levi, we had wanted to try to have a child of our own," she told Newsweek. "I'm in my forties, so we knew that we would probably need fertility treatment, so I thought let's just think about it and what will be will be."

The problem was that Levi was in Texas, so the family sold their house and moved to the Lone Star State to go through the arduous adoption process. The situation was further complicated because Levi’s biological father had parental rights even though he had substance abuse problems. The family couldn’t move out of Texas until his rights were legally terminated.

But after a 16-month process, in January 2023, Levi became a legal family member. Christie understands that adopting her husband’s ex-wife’s baby may seem unusual to some people. "It's a lot to process for a lot of people, but honestly, it seems a lot crazier than it was. At the time, it just made sense," she said.



@cjthemom5

Our adoption is official !!! after 17 months!!! #adoption #son #loveyou #ourstory#foryou #fyp


Even though Christie knew in her heart that she must adopt Levi, she wasn’t without reservations. “'If I said I did not [have concerns beforehand], that would not be honest,” she told The Daily Mail. “This was different—I was going to walk into a child I never met and was worried the circumstances would hinder this instant love. But [...] he stole my heart. I also felt this intense need to protect him.”

These days, Levi fits right in with the family, and the rest of the kids are happy to be back to living an everyday life without any caseworkers or inspections.

“He's great, he is the king of the house! We are all very close. He won't understand the journey right now, but someday, I will let him know we fought for him!” Christie said.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

Experiment of boys and girls left unsupervised return eyeopening results

In 2016, Boys Alone (Social Experiment Documentary) took 10 boys ages 11-12 and left them unsupervised in a house for five days. Before the boys were left alone they were given cooking classes and other life skills lessons to give them all a more even starting ground.

They repeated the social experiment with girls in Girls Alone (Social Experiment Documentary). The girls are given the same life skills lessons as the boys before being left to their own devices for the better part of a week. Both groups of children were left with cameras watching their every move as adults monitored from outside of the home. But there was no interference and when the camera crew was present they did not interact or attempt to parent the children in any way.

Recently clips of these experiments resurfaced on social media when a guy with the username Mr. Cult Daddy uploaded it to share with his 508k followers. His condensed version of the clips along with his commentary gave viewers a quick overview of the vastly different results.



@mrcultdaddy

Replying to @mrcultdaddy In contrast, the girls displayed more responsibility and cooperation. They created a chore chart, divided up tasks, and took turns cooking meals. They even organized a DIY beauty salon to cheer up a girl who was feeling down. While the girls had some disagreements, they handled them more maturely and left the house in a clean and orderly state. The experiment showcased a sense of teamwork and care, unlike the boys' experience​ #boysvsgirls #patriarchy #psychologyfacts #greenscreenvideo

"Imagine this, 10 boys all from the ages of 11 and 12 were put into a house with no adult supervision for five days. And if you heard me say that and thought to yourself that sounds like a total 'Lord of the Flies' situation, you're not wrong because it did not take long for them to completely descend into chaos," the creator shares.



Boys playing, boys, children, unsupervised kids, parenting, modern parenting shallow focus photo of boy in red crew-neck T-shirtPhoto by Tolga Ahmetler on Unsplash


He explains that the boys essentially destroyed the house by drawing on the walls, flipping furniture and "trashing everything." The boys didn't use their new cooking skills, relying solely on snacks and sodas. Eventually the chaotic fun turned into power struggles, breaking into different groups fighting each other, even tying someone to a chair.

"But what's interesting about this whole thing is just how quickly their social structure that they developed just completely fell apart. What started out as excitement turned into isolation depression," the man says.

The TikTok creator jumps into sharing the commentary from others around the societal expectations of boys being able to get away with more which people feel had an impact on the way these boys behaved. On the flip side, the girls experiment had wildly different results. The girls were the same age as the boys but instead of immediately descending into chaos, they actually worked together.

One commenter writes about the boys, "Grown men live like this too. It’s not an age thing," with another person saying, "That’s the least shocking outcome ever."



kids, children, unsupervised children, parenting, modern parenting, parenting advice, parenting hacksTeens playing table tennisPhoto by Nima Sarram on Unsplash


"As we know the boys descended into chaos relatively quickly so you might say to yourself, 'oh we can expect the same things from these girls,' no. From the start the girls organize themselves. They made a freaking chore chart, took turns cooking, cleaning. meals were planned, they didn't just survive off the snacks like the boys did. They really created this team," he shares.

The girls also painted on the walls but it was productive paintings like murals and not painting to make a mess. Evidently the girls all worked together and provided each other emotional support according to the creator. They even cleaned the house before they left. It would seem that people in the comments were not at all surprised by the stark contrast between the girls and boys experiment.

One woman tells the creator, "by 12 I could have run a whole household."

"I think it's probably 15-20% prefrontal cortex and 75-80% conditioning. I was expected to wash the dishes every night by myself from a young age while my male sibling went to bed. I was made to do his homework, even tho I was 2y younger, so he'd have free time to "be a typical boy." I'm the reason he passed elementary school, but I refused after that and his grades crashed," another woman reveals.



children, raising children, unsupervised children, parents, parenting, modern parenting two girl in pink and green shirts sitting on wall shelfPhoto by Cristina Gottardi on Unsplash


"I think it shows the difference in raising. Girls are taught to behave, be smart. Boys tend to be spoiled by moms and dads. They don’t usually receive the learning of being nice, cordial," someone else shares.

"It's conditioning (at least 80%) my brother is 9 years older and I had to teach him how to do his own laundry when I was 14 (he was ripe ol' age of 23) bc my mom taught me from a young age and didn't," one commenter explains.

While many people agree that the culprit is social conditioning combined with brain development while others pointed out that it may simply be American culture. That also likely plays a large role in the outcome of these experiments, but what do you think? If the experiment was completed again today, would the results be the same?

You can watch the entire boys experiment here and the girls experiment here.

This article originally appeared last year.