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Arguing is easy; persuasion is hard: what Donald Trump teaches us about debate.

An illustrated look at flawed arguments and how to avoid them.

Ask a handful of Donald Trump supporters what first caught their attention about the GOP nominee, and you're bound to hear a few familiar responses — among them, the impression that the business tycoon "tells it like it is."

He's a "straight shooter" who comes off as lively and spontaneous at rallies, on social media, and at debates. He gives off the impression of being a man of the people despite the fact that he lives in a literal gold tower.

What many probably don't notice about Trump's arguments, however, is that they're bad. They're really, really bad.


Photo by Charlie Leight/Getty Images.

When you detach Trump's words from his bluster, what might seem like convincing arguments are actually just highly-rehearsed rhetorical tricks.

Stripped bare, Trump sidesteps having to argue his position by using common rhetorical devices instead. While persuasive (after all, he has millions of supporters), these arguments tend to be without substance and well ... bad.

See, not all arguments are created equal. In fact, some arguments are just plain bad. They use logical fallacies (flaws in thinking) to make a point that may not be true. And that's all the more reason to learn to identify them when you see them.

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

By learning to identify these fallacies, you'll be able to improve your own argument skills and — perhaps even better — you'll be better able to identify when someone is trying to use a bad argument on you.

Below are nine examples of bad arguments to keep an eye out for, as illustrated by Donald Trump:

1. The "straw man" argument

A straw man is when you deliberately misrepresent your opponent’s argument to make it easier for you to attack. Straw man arguments are usually deployed as a way of making your opponent seem extreme, making your own argument appear more reasonable by comparison.

“Hillary Clinton wants to abolish the Second Amendment,” Donald Trump said during a rally. “Hillary Clinton wants to take your guns away, and she wants to abolish the Second Amendment!"

Illustrations by Karl Orozco for Upworthy.

The truth is that while Clinton supports a number of gun safety measures — such as background checks and preventing members of the terrorism watch list from purchasing guns — there’s no reason to believe she would support repealing the Second Amendment.

Saying that she wants to abolish the Second Amendment, as Trump did, is a gross simplification of her actual position, and the perfect example of a straw man argument.

2. The ad hominem argument.

Basically, ad hominem is the strategy Donald Trump uses when he calls Marco Rubio “Little Marco,” refers to Hillary Clinton as “Crooked,” or says Elizabeth Warren is “Goofy.” The target of an ad hominem attack is the person you’re arguing against, rather than their ideas.

Look at that face!” Trump said about rival candidate Carly Fiorina in an interview with Rolling Stone in September 2015. "Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?! I mean, she's a woman, and I'm not s'posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?”

Rather than pushing back on Fiorina’s ideas, experience, or policy proposals, Trump focused on her appearance — something that should be irrelevant in a presidential election.

3. The "appeal to fear" argument.

Tapping into people's heightened emotions is a powerful rhetorical device, and when used in the context of arguments, it can be incredibly persuasive. Fear is an especially potent emotion to tap into during an argument. When we’re afraid, our decision-making skills are impaired; we don’t think clearly, and we don’t look at arguments from a rational perspective.

When Donald Trump says things like, “There is a great hatred toward Americans by a large segments of the Muslim population. It’s gonna get worse and worse. You’re gonna have more World Trade Centers,” he’s appealing to fear.

While there are questions about the facts involved (Is there a “great hatred toward Americans by large segments of the Muslim population”? Are we at risk of more World Trade Center-style attacks? Trump doesn’t provide facts to support either claim), our brains are conditioned to set those aside in favor of doing what he tells us will keep us safe: in this case, voting for Donald Trump.

4. The "personal incredulity" and "appeal to ignorance" arguments.

Leaning heavily on your own disbelief or ignorance on any given subject is a flawed approach to winning an argument. “I can’t believe x, therefore y must be true” makes for a pretty weak argument in most cases — especially when facts are left out of the equation.

“It’s coming from all over South and Latin America, and it’s coming probably from the Middle East,” Trump said in reference to illegal immigration. “But we don’t know 'cause we have no protection.”

If that sounds like word salad, that’s because it is. Trump’s whole argument rests on information he doesn’t have — and that he knows you don’t have either. When he says “we don’t know,” he really means that he doesn’t know.

5. The "bandwagon" argument.

Also known as appeal to belief, appeal to the masses, appeal to popularity, and other names, the bandwagon fallacy is an argument that rests on the belief that because a lot of people agree on something, it must be correct.

This is another favorite tactic Donald Trump uses during his rallies. “I only wish these cameras — because there is nothing as dishonest as the media, that I can tell you,” he has said. “I only wish these cameras would spin around and show the kind of people that we have here. The numbers of people that we have. I just wish they'd for once do it.”

His boastful argument is meant to suggest that because a lot of people come out to support him at his rallies, or that because he has a lot of Twitter followers, he would be the best president. In truth, while this may (or may not) be a decent predictor of whether he’ll receive a lot of votes, his popularity doesn’t mean that his policy proposals would be any more effective than his opponent’s.

Similarly, Trump has a tendency to appeal to authority (another logical fallacy) in citing his endorsements (such as those of religious leaders, basketball coaches, boxing promoters, and just broadly "many people"), to tie into the bandwagon argument, suggesting that if certain other people support Trump, you should too.

6. The "black and white" argument.

The world is filled with possibilities — that is, until you deploy to the black and white fallacy in an argument. Also known as a false dilemma, false dichotomy, false choice, or bifurcation, the black and white fallacy presents situations as only having two distinct options, when in actuality there are numerous possible outcomes.

“We’re going to start winning so much that you’re going to get used to winning instead of getting used to losing,” Trump said in a campaign video.

In this situation, the listener is being given two options: winning or losing. This quote was delivered in the context of trade deals, but has been used throughout Trump's campaign to contrast himself (a winner) with his opponents (losers). Now, of course, elections have winners and losers, but Trump was speaking in a more general sense that doesn’t necessarily support his argument.

7. The "slippery slope" argument.

Ever hear someone make an argument against something on the basis that if we let that thing happen, it’ll lead to something terrible down the road? That’s called the slippery slope, and it’s a wildly popular argument among politicians. This argument style combines an appeal to fear and a straw man argument, and it uses extreme hypothetical outcomes as evidence for why we should (or shouldn’t) do something.

“You know what’s going to happen,” Trump said during an October 2015 rally. “[Ford is] going to build a plant and illegals are going to drive those cars right over the border. Then they’ll probably end up stealing the car and that’ll be the end of it.”

In that example, Trump argues that if Ford builds a manufacturing plant in Mexico, its cars will be used to transport undocumented immigrants into the U.S. and cause a spike in crime. That’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s also a clear use of the slippery slope fallacy due to the fact that his conclusion (Ford shouldn’t move its plant to Mexico) isn’t even directly related to the argument’s premise (undocumented immigrants will steal cars).

Not to mention, Ford has denied Trump’s allegation that they’re considering a move to Mexico. When an argument rests heavily on the use of the phrase “probably will,” it’s a good sign that you might be listening to a slippery slope argument.

8. The "genetic fallacy" argument.

Also known as the fallacy of virtue or fallacy of origins, the genetic fallacy is an argument based on someone or something’s origin, history, or source. Similar to the composition fallacy — that falsely argues that because some portion of a group is one way, all members of that group are — the genetic fallacy relies on irrelevant stereotypes.

In June 2016, Trump went on CNN to defend statements he made about Gonzalo Curiel, a judge who was overseeing a lawsuit brought against Trump University.

“I have had horrible rulings,” Trump said, arguing for Judge Curiel to recuse himself. “I have been treated very unfairly by this judge. This judge is of Mexican heritage. I’m building a wall, OK?”

Here, Trump used the genetic fallacy argument to suggest that, because Judge Curiel (who was born in Indiana, for what it’s worth) is “of Mexican heritage,” he can’t objectively rule in any case Trump is involved in due to Trump’s plans to build a wall along the U.S./Mexico border.

9. The "anecdote" argument.

Stories are great, and when used correctly in the course of making an argument, they can be the key to persuasion. When used in lieu of hard data, however, anecdotes lose their luster.

To be sure, Donald Trump isn't the only politician to regularly rely on the use of anecdotes to make his points. Where Trump differs, however, is in how he deploys them: often without any data to back up his claim, using phrases like “many people are saying.”

Claims like “Many people are now saying I won South Carolina because of the last debate,” “I beat China all the time,” and “I will be the best by far in fighting terror” aren’t rooted in data, but rather in Trump's own feelings.

In many of Trump’s anecdotes, he combines fallacies, sometimes incorporating bandwagon thinking (“Many people are saying…”) or black and white arguments (“I beat China” implies there is a winner and loser in each trade deal — but there doesn't have to be! International trade doesn't need to be a zero-sum game! — and that if Trump isn’t elected, we’ll "lose" to China).

Fallacy-filled arguments like the ones Donald Trump uses are like candy bars: They taste good, and there’s nothing wrong with eating them, but they’re not exactly packed with nutrients.

The goal of being able to recognize these tactics is to merely be aware when people — especially politicians, presidential candidates, and people in positions of power — are making poorly-formed arguments. Identifying these arguments will give you time to look for facts to support whatever decision you’re making based on their argument and to make sure they aren't getting you to agree with something just because it sounds good.

If a bad argument is still persuasive, is it really a bad argument?

"A persuasive argument is one that does in fact succeed in convincing the audience that the conclusion is at least probably true," writes Eastern Kentucky University's Frank Williams. "Logically bad arguments are sometimes very persuasive!  And logically good arguments can fail to be persuasive!"

Photo by Mark Wallheiser/Getty Images.

In other words, just because something is technically a "bad" argument (for example, any of the above Trump arguments) doesn't mean that it won't be convincing. As Trump's supporter base can tell you, he's plenty convincing — even if his arguments are sometimes lacking in key components, like facts or substance.

Of course, there is something called the fallacy fallacy, which means assuming that because someone’s argument used a fallacy, the point they were making is automatically untrue or incorrect. In other words, just because someone makes a bad argument doesn’t necessarily mean they’re wrong.

Finally, a good argument consists of two parts: a conclusion (what you’re arguing for) and a premise (what you’re saying to support your conclusion). Good arguments hinge on believable, factual premises and good reasons for accepting the conclusion as true. It’s as simple as that.

Critical thinking skills are essential for making informed decisions.

To think critically is to examine reason, purpose, assumptions, facts, consequences, alternate viewpoints, and personal biases before choosing to take action, whether you’re in the voting booth or just talking to a friend. Hopefully, with the help of these examples of fallacies, it just got a little bit easier.

A couple talking over coffee.

Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.

However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as in forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.

 conversation, small talk, conversation tips, communications tips, medium talk, reminder A man and woman chatting.via Canva/Photos

How to get better at small talk

The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement: It reminds me of…”

A redditor named IsaihLikesToConnect shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun.

Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"

You:

Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."

Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."

Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."

Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”

Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”


 conversation, small talk, conversation tips, communications tips, medium talk, reminder Coworkers having a conversation.via Canva/Photos

You see in this example that using “It reminds me of…” opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The “You” in the story could have responded with, “Yeah, it sure is rainy,” and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the “reminds me of” into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.

 conversation, small talk, conversation tips, communications tips, medium talk, reminder Coworkers having a conversation.via Canva/Photos

What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?

Using “this reminds me of…” is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.

Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. “It reminds me of…” is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.

This article originally appeared in April.

Apple TV

Adam Scott and Tramell Tillman in Severance

While remote work has been a mainstay since the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, more and more companies are attempting to mandate that employees return to the office, on a full or part-time basis, including one now-infamous effort from JPMorgan Chase. The company announced that as of March 2025, all employees were required to return to the office five days per week. Their CEO even ditched the policy that allowed employees to work-from-home two days per week.

To mark the occasion, welcome everyone back ( and perhaps twist the knife a bit deeper?) the United State's largest bank unveiled a plan for a massive $3 billion, 2.5 millions square foot tower on New York's famous Park Avenue—which would house 14,000 workers and feature state of the art architecture and technology—in addition to loading up its new corporate headquarters with perks to help employees transition back to office life.

Some of these "perks" were truly great and truly enticing. Others were... questionable, to say the least.

Grace Tallon on LinkedIn even noticed that some of the benefits of working in the JPMorgan Office seemed like they were yanked right out of one of the most popular current TV shows on the planet: Severance.

If you don't know it, Severance is a psychological thriller on Apple TV that doubles as a dark and biting satire of corporate office culture and capitalism. Employees at a mysterious company called Lumon are "severed" — meaning their brains, memories, and personalities are literally split in half. While at work, they are a different person and retain no memories when they leave the office every night. In return for their sacrifice and for hitting key milestones, the employees receive ludicrous rewards like short dance parties with their boss, melon parties with carved watermelons, and handfuls of balloons. Employees are also expected to marvel at bizarre pieces of art that line the hall, featuring stoic images of Lumon's revered (and more than a bit creepy) founders.

Conversely, JPMorgan's new tower boasted 19-restaurants with at-your-desk delivery, an Irish pub, and on-site physical therapy and yoga. But that's not all!

Tallon notes, however, that JPMorgan also tried to entice employees with things like "personalized climate" in rooms and offices, a "signature scent" that wafts through the halls and somehow reinforced the brand, and, get this, even a "corporate art collection" that celebrates the company's history and values. Be more on the nose next time, will you JPMorgan? That's to say nothing of design elements that support worker's circadian rhythms and coffee machines that learn your favorites over time.

"Let’s stop pretending this is about connecting and doing better work," she writes.

Read Tallon's full post below on the striking similarities:

Commenters agreed that the perks came off more than a little tone deaf.

While some folks defended the corporation for doing their best to make employees feel cared for and taken care of, others didn't quite see it that way, especially when they compared it to the perks of WFH life.

"The climate in my own home office is just right. Along with my own coffee, artwork, lighting (window wide open), and other perks and it cost me zero dollars to drive there and I don't have to wear shoes! Way out of touch," wrote Alix Z.

"Those perks sound more like a high-tech museum experience than actual employee benefits. Instead of a 'signature scent,' how about giving employees real reasons to feel good about coming to work?" said Diana Alayon.

 severance, linkedin, jp morgan, return to office, work, work from home, jobs, workplace, wfh jobs Some at-home perk simply can't be beat. Photo credit: Canva

"Working at home perks: My own candle collection, curated to suit my preferences, Coffee and tea on tap, from our favourite brands, Comfortable cushions and blankets to help regulate my temperature at my desk, A variety of lighting options, ranging from warm white lamps to 'the big light', Freedom to work anywhere I want, such as my office desk, sofa, kitchen table or a coffee shop near by, Personalised art with photos of family and pictures we enjoy, Working space decorated to my own specifications, Plenty of spaces nearby for fresh air and dog walks" wrote Eloise Todd in a mic-drop comment.

There are of course benefits to working together in-person with your colleagues. And sure, if you're required to be there, nothing offsets discomfort quite like delicious lunches and free yoga classes. But to take away even the option of occasionally working from home and duct-taping over it with an algorithm that tracks coffee orders and temperature preferences, and filling the halls with strange paintings that move when employees walk by? It kind of loses the thread, and it's exactly the kind of thinking that the creators of Severance are so good at skewering.

 severance, linkedin, jp morgan, retseverance, linkedin, jp morgan, return to office, work, work from home, jobs, workplace, wfh jobsurn to office, work, work from home, jobs, workplace, wfh jobs Mark (Adam Scott) at the infamous dance party scene in Severance.  media0.giphy.com  

According to Forbes, there are 6 distinct reason companies might push for a return to the office. One, corporate heads believe employees get more "immersed in the company’s values." Two, they think it's easier to monitor whether or not an employee is actually working. Three, to justify the cot of that expensive office space. Four, to foster "spontaneous collaboration." Five, to give new employees a chance to observe and interact with more seasoned worker. and six, to restore a sense of belonging within the company.

But of course, none of these things have anything to do with what people really want: Autonomy. That, in addition to fair pay, some level of flexibility, and good benefits. Perks are nice — even the kind of weird ones — but they can only go so far. It remains to be seen if companies that dictate back-to-the-office edicts are willing to follow through on the things that really matter. Please note how waffle parties did not make that list.

This article originally appeared in February

Canva Photos

A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.

There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?

Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.

A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.

 the office, andy bernard, dating, relationships, dating advice, single, romance, love The Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot on  Giphy  

At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.

"Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"

He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."

"You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"

"You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."

"You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."

These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:


@gettothepointbro

DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.

"dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."

"I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."

"Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"

"The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."

"This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."

Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.

@gettothepointbro

CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️

The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.

According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.

This article originally appeared in April.

Community

No booze at all? As more people go alcohol-free, debates over dry weddings heat up.

Some folks have strong feelings about this, but some dry wedding tips can help.

Some couples choose to have no alcohol served at their wedding. It's an issue for some people.

People's relationships with alcohol run the gamut from "never touched it, never will" to full-blown alcoholism, with a wide range of preferences, experiences, and expectations along that spectrum. Most of the time, it's easy to take a live-and-let-live approach to other people's choices, but if there's one place where people seem to clash when it comes to alcohol offerings, it's weddings.

Objectively, a couple has the right to offer or not offer anything they wish at their wedding, but depending on your social circles, there may be certain "norms" that are expected. For some people, alcohol at weddings is an unquestioned norm that they simply can't imagine not having, which makes the movement toward dry weddings—ones that offer no alcohol whatsoever—a sticking point.

 

In fact, in debates over the idea, some go so far as to say they flat out won't attend a wedding if they know there won't be alcohol. Some feel it's rude not to serve alcohol to guests, even if the couple themselves don't partake, because it's a social event and people expect it. Others say the wedding is for the couple—it's their day, and they can create any kind of wedding they wish. Some people assume a wedding won't be as much fun if there's no alcohol, while others say dry weddings are some of the best weddings they've been to.

Opinions are all over the place on the topic with strong feelings on all sides. Here's a sampling of what people say:

"I would not be phased by a dry wedding if it were a smaller event. I’d actually prefer it as I don’t drink much at all. However, a wedding with 100 guests is not a small wedding and I think it’s a social norm/expectation for there to be alcohol at these kinds of celebrations. Whether that’s arguably a good thing or not is up for debate, however I know plenty of people who would be thoroughly disappointed and think the night was less fun because of there being no alcohol."

 

"It very much depends on where you’re from and your social circle. If you’re from the Bible Belt and your entire wedding and reception takes place in a church function hall, then no- a dry wedding would very much be normal. If you’re Mormon or another religion that is anti-alcohol, it would be totally expected. Also, if one or both of you were in recovery I think it would also be totally fine.

If you’re not in one of the above groups or on a significantly reduced budget, it is generally seen as faux pas to not provide alcohol in some form at your wedding as you are the host of the party. Even the weddings with limited budgets that I’ve been to, still opt to host beer and wine for the satisfaction of the guests. The reception is a thank you to your guests for celebrating your marriage (and presumably for the gifts they will be giving)."

 

"Being a good host means taking care of your guests. Not causing pain from no where to sit, not making them stay hungry, not making them stay thirsty, etc.

Not providing alcohol at a wedding is absolutely not the same as being a bad host. There are so many ways to make your drinks fun and celebratory without including alcohol in them. Mocktails and coffee are great! Especially if you have some options that are less sweet- typically a lot of mocktails tend to be super sugary, but if you have some that are more herbal/dry, that would fill that need."

"I come from a family of alcoholics and would love a dry wedding. Unfortunately there will be alcohol at my wedding but alcohol is a major trigger for my ptsd. I know a lot of people who don’t drink, it’s not as uncommon as you think."


 


"I think a dry wedding is a wonderful idea, especially if you are going to offer mock tails or have a coffee bar. especially if coffee if kind of your guys thing. I would love to attend a reception with a coffee bar! just remember, it’s your day and you can have it how ever you want. and if you don’t want alcohol because neither of you really drink, that is okay!!"

"There's no etiquette rule that requires alcohol at a wedding. Food is required if the reception takes place during a meal time, but alcohol never is."

 wedding food, wedding dinner, dry wedding, wedding, alcohol, no alcohol Food is a reasonable expectation at a wedding. Alcohol? Not so fast.Photo credit: Canva

Appropriate etiquette for dry weddings

There has been a societal shift away from alcohol in recent years, which may make it easier for people who want an alcohol-free wedding for health, recovery, religious, or simply personal preference reasons. However, because alcohol has traditionally been an expectation at weddings and still is for many people, there are some things couples can do to keep their dry wedding from being viewed in a negative light.

- Inform your guests beforehand that alcohol won't be served. Many people say they don't mind a dry wedding as long as they know ahead of time what to expect.

- Offer fancy non-alcoholic drink alternatives. A mocktail bar, coffee bar, italian soda bar, etc. can help create a festive atmosphere and bridge the gap for people who are used to having a drink in their hand.

 wedding, wedding drinks, dry wedding, mocktails, alcohol free There are lots of non-alcoholic alternatives that can make a wedding feel festive.Photo credit: Canva

- Provide fun activities that get people moving and socializing. I've been to many dry weddings where people danced their socks off, so it's not like alcohol is necessary for a fun party. But for those who rely on alcohol to be a social lubricant, having ways to get guests mingling and engaging in fun activities together can help.

- Make your guests laugh. Many people associate alcohol with having a good time, and laughter is a great way to create that feeling. Maybe set up a photo booth with silly props, or have a light-hearted roast, or hire a DJ with a great sense of humor.

- Consider getting married at an earlier time in the day. If you want a dry wedding and know that a lot of your guests will expect to have alcohol, having a morning or mid-day wedding can help ease that expectation. Most people don't expect to drink in the morning.

- If you're a guest, don't complain. A couple's wedding is about them, so let it truly be about them. Even if you hate the idea of being sober for the evening, keep it to yourself and respect their right to have their wedding day be what they envisioned. If you must, go out before or after the wedding for drinks.

Ultimately, it's up to a couple getting married to decide what to serve and what not to serve their guests, but with some thoughtfulness and open-mindedness on everyone's part, the big day can be a fun and festive celebration of love and commitment no matter what people are drinking.

Health

Oncologists share 15 surprising things they personally do (and don't do) to prevent cancer

“I used to drink very hot coffee but I drink it warm now since very hot drinks damage esophagus can cause esophageal cancer.”

Oncologist shares their own personal tips to help prevent cancer

Nearly all of us know a loved one who has been diagnosed with cancer. Many of us have it ourselves, and there’s been an alarming increase of young people (under 50) receiving diagnoses. All this to say, a large number of us might be wondering what changes can be made in order to stave off the disease.

A few oncologists, along with a few other alleged medical professionals, shared what they personally do (or don’t do), given what they know about cancer. There might be a few discrepancies in opinions here—particularly in how strict to be with alcohol—but it does paint a good picture about how to create a lifestyle that can help prevent a visit to their office.

Here are 15 of our favorites, and many of them go beyond the usual "get diet and exercise" fare:

1. They don’t ignore their symptoms, or allow for any medical gaslighting

 cancer, cancer prevention, how to avoid cancer, cancer causing foods, what causes cancer, oncologist, oncologist near me A woman describing he symptoms to her doctor. Photo credit: Canva

“Cancer nurse here. If you get any unusual symptoms such as lethargy, swollen glands, pain, weight loss, night sweats, a cough that won’t go away etc go get a simple blood test. If you’re bloated, have abdomen or back pain, changes in urine colour, headaches that persists, breathing changes, get an Xray/CT/ultrasound. If your GP dismisses you and doesn’t investigate at all… go get a better GP. The amount of patients that have been diagnosed late have usually been to their GP a few times and not had any tests performed. You can’t always prevent cancer but you can certainly catch it early and give yourself a better chance of beating it.”

“It’s heartbreaking when people ignore symptoms and don’t get diagnosed until the cancer is too advanced for treatment to be helpful.”

2. They avoid alcohol. Pretty much at all times. 

“I hate to tell you this but it’s alcohol. It directly causes at least seven kinds of cancer. Twenty years from now we will talk about alcohol the way we talk about cigarettes today.”

3. Same goes for smoking.

“DO NOT SMOKE. It doesn’t matter what it is, no smoking.”

4. For the love of all that is holy, they wear sunscreen.

 cancer, cancer prevention, how to avoid cancer, cancer causing foods, what causes cancer, oncologist, oncologist near me A mom applying sunscreen onto her child. Photo credit: Canva

“My best piece of advice is WEAR SUNSCREEN and get your moles and spots checked. Health insurance typically covers a yearly total skin check at a dermatologist.”

5. They cut off any burnt pieces of food.

"My father was a genetics professor, and he also said not to eat any charred black food. That goes for toast, veggies, pizza crust, and especially meat. It can lead to DNA damage and mutations that lead to cancer. He just trims off the charred parts of steak and whatever else is burned."

6. They eat a balanced diet and don’t rely on supplements to “fix” anything.

“Moderation is more important than ‘magical’ ideas about certain foods. Rather than thinking that some food or even some additive causes cancer or, alternatively, some berry or supplements prevent it, think about balance. Red meat isn’t ‘poison’ but 15 servings a week isn’t wise.”

“As someone who grew up with an oncologist in the family (though they are now retired), I can share: They don’t eat red meat. They eat a balanced diet of fish/poultry, lots of fruits & vegetables, and 1 sweet a day.”

7. They take their coffee lukewarm. 

“I used to drink very hot coffee but I drink it warm now since very hot drinks damage esophagus can cause esophageal cancer.”

8. They don’t put food in the microwave.

“Use as little plastic as possible for food storage and drinkware (glass is best!) and never put plastic in the microwave.”

9. They don’t use toxic chemical on their lawn.

 cancer, cancer prevention, how to avoid cancer, cancer causing foods, what causes cancer, oncologist, oncologist near me A person using herbicide on their lawn. Photo credit: Canva

“Hematopathologist here. I never use herbicide (weed treatments) on my lawn. I’ve seen too many childhood leukemias/lymphomas, especially in children of parents who work in lawn care.”

10. They…don’t join the military?

“The number of people who developed cancer because of something they were exposed to while serving is just mind-blowing (camp lejeune, asbestos in the navy, the tar pits, agent orange, etc etc etc).”

11. They say no to food coloring.

“Food coloring… we are just figuring out how toxic it is. Tartazine in relish and what that vibrant color in your Aperol Spritz?”

12. They advise against taking vitamins for those who already have cancer.

“Something that always surprise my breast cancer patients is when I tell them to avoid vitamins specially antioxidants, as they could be associated with more risk of recurrence and dying from cancer if you take them while on cancer treatment, or even before treatment. There is a lot of information regarding this issue with contradictory results, but until we get better information it is logical to be cautious about vitamins.”

13. They pay attention to the amount of heavy metals in their food.

“I’m also very cautious about cheap spices and tofu – they can be contaminated with heavy metals (spices) and paraformaldehyde (tofu) both of which should not be consumed in any quantity.”

14. They’re pro-HPV vaccine.

“A huge fan of the HPV vaccination for both males and females. So many preventable cervical and head/neck cancers.”

15. And anti-antibiotics…at least in excess.

 cancer, cancer prevention, how to avoid cancer, cancer causing foods, what causes cancer, oncologist, oncologist near me A bottle of antibiotics. Photo credit: Canva

“Protect your gut microbiome from unnecessary antibiotics. Our healthy bacteria keeps our immune system in balance and is linked to better cancer surveillance.”

However, it’s also worth noting that several oncologists chimed in to say that you can make all the perfect lifestyle choices in the world, have zero genetic risks, and still end up getting a cancer diagnosis. Yes, there’s many reasons to still make healthy choices, but one can’t simply blame themselves if they do end up unlucky. But keeping these things in mind does so much to, potentially, add not only years of life, but quality to those extended years. In the end, that's all any of us can really hope for—as many happy, healthy days as we can possibly accumulate before the time comes.