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A Whole New Way To Think About Stress That Changes Everything We've Been Taught

I'm totally gonna summarize this video for you: It's not stress that's making you sicker, it's stressing out about stress being stressful that's actually the problem. What? OK, just watch Kelly McGonigal. She says it much better than I do. At 2:24, people just have to laugh because what she's telling us makes us sound a little bonkers. She tells us how stress actually makes us seek out support at 9:02, then at 11:42, she makes a point that I hope sinks in ... and maybe even changes some people's lives.

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I've always really liked cliches, idioms, proverbs, and common phrases that we like to use over and over. They can get repetitive at times, but they're crucial tools in communication. They allow us to convey so much meaning in so few words — a commonly understood shorthand that can get complex points across quickly.

The only problem is that many of the most popular idioms in common use date back hundreds of years. In that time, they've either become outdated, or seen their words adopt new meanings. In some cases the idioms have been shortened or reversed, losing important context. So when someone tells you to "bite the bullet," you may inherently know what they mean — but if you really stop and think about it, you have no idea why it means what it means.

If you're a word nerd like me, you'll be absolutely fascinated by the origin and evolution of some of these common idioms, and how they came to mean what they mean today.

1. Sick as a dog / Working like a dog

dog typing on laptopGiphy

Ever have a cold and tell someone you're "sicker than a dog?" Kind of rude to dogs, in my opinion, and a little strange. I've had dogs my whole life and can't remember any of them coming down with the flu.

Sick as a dog actually originates hundreds of years ago, if not longer. Some explanations say that in the 1700s, stray dogs were responsible for the spread of many diseases, along with rats and other gutter critters. There are also references as far back as the Bible to dogs eating their own vomit — sounds pretty sick to me.

What about working like a dog? Dogs are the laziest creatures around! For this one you have to remember that dogs as "pleasure pets" is a relatively recent phenomenon, and before that they had to earn their keep by working tirelessly on the farm to herd and protect the animals.

2. Sweating like a pig

This is an extremely common idiom that we all use and accept. There's just one problem with it. Pigs don't sweat!

So... what gives? You might be surprised to hear that 'sweating like a pig' actually has nothing to do with farm animals.

According to McGill University: "The term is actually derived from the iron smelting process in which hot iron poured on sand cools and solidifies with the pieces resembling a sow and piglets. Hence 'pig iron'. As the iron cools, the surrounding air reaches its dew point, and beads of moisture form on the surface of the 'pigs'. 'Sweating like a pig' indicates that the "pig" (ie iron) has cooled enough to be safely handled. And that's a "pig" you wouldn't want to eat."

3. Bite the bullet

Biting the bullet refers to sucking it up and doing something hard, something you don't want to do but is necessary, and accepting the difficult consequences and/or pain that comes with it. But what does that have to do with biting a bullet?

There are different theories on this. One common explanation is that in the olden days it was common for soldiers on the battlefield receiving surgery to bite down on a lead bullet. You've probably seen people in moving biting down on a piece of wood or leather strap. Since lead is a softer metal, it would give just a little bit between their teeth and not damage them. So the idiom 'biting the bullet' means, okay, this is going to suck, just bite down and get through it.

4. Healthy as a horse

This one has always confused me. As a layman, it seems like horses are prone to injury and have trouble recovering when they hurt themselves. More research shows that horses can not vomit, which means they are highly at risk for deadly colic episodes. Doesn't sound super healthy!

The best explanation I can find for healthy as a horse is that, again, in the olden days, horses were symbols of health and strength and vitality. Which checks out — they're really powerful, majestic creatures.

5. Slept like a baby

To many parents, this common idiom is rage-inducing. If babies sleep so well, why am I so exhausted all the time?!

Yes, babies are notorious for waking up every few hours or at the first sign of hunger or a dirty diaper. It puts their parents through the wringer (another strange idiom!). But to the outside observer, a sleeping baby is pure bliss. They are so innocent and blissfully unaware of anything going on around them — after all, if they're not sitting in a dirty diaper they really don't have too many other things to worry about. Also, despite all their shenanigans, babies do sleep a lot — around 17 hours a day or so. When you put it that way, the idiom starts to make a little sense.

6. Happy as a clam

Clams are a lot of things. Some people find them delicious, others disgusting. One thing I think we can all agree on is that clams don't seem particularly happy, which makes this idiom a bit of a conundrum.

The truth is that this phrase is actually derived from the full version: "Happy as a clam at high water."

At low water, or low tide, clams are exposed to predators. At high tide, they're safe in deeper water. That's about as happy as mollusk can get!

7. The proof is in the pudding

Hey, we all love pudding. But what the heck does this mean? If you're not familiar, it refers to judging something based on the results it generates — but what that has to do with pudding is a bit of a mystery to most people.

This is another example of a shortened idiom that makes more sense when you read the full, original line: "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

According to Dictionary.com it "originated as a reference to the fact that it was difficult to judge if the pudding was properly cooked until it was actually being eaten. In other words, the test of whether it’s done is taking a bite."

8. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth

smiling horseGiphy

I've always been a big fan of this idiom, which basically means that it's rude to over-analyze or criticize something you got for free, especially when it was a nice gesture from a friend or loved one.

But here we go with horses again! This phrase likely originated from the fact that you can determine a horse's age and health by looking at its teeth. So if someone were to give you a horse as a gift, it would be rude to immediately try to see how "good" it was by looking in its mouth.

9. Clean as a whistle

Whistles are objectively disgusting. They collect spit and germs every time they're used. I certainly wouldn't hold them up as a beacon of cleanliness.

So what gives with this idiom? There are several possible explanations that have been proposed.

First, a whistle won't work, or won't work very well, if it has debris blocking up its inside. So you can think of "clean" in this case as being "empty or free of clutter." Another possibility is that, in this idiom, clean refers to sharpness — as in the sharp sound a whistle makes — and that inference has been lost over time.

10. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps

This phrase is commonly use to describe someone who was "self-made" and built themselves up into a success from nothing. Imagine lying on the floor and hoisting yourself to your feet using only the straps on your boots.

The only problem is... that's impossible! And that's exactly the point. This idiom is actually meant to be sarcastic and to imply that "socioeconomic advancement... was an impossible accomplishment," according to Useless Etymology.

11. Have your cake and eat it too

cartoon cake sliceGiphy

Why bother having a cake if you can't eat it? That's the mystery of this extremely common idiom or proverb (sometimes worded "you can't have your cake and eat it, too")

The explanation is actually really simple. "Have" in this case really means "keep" or "hold onto." So, in that case, it makes perfect sense that you can't eat your cake and also still have it. "You can't have it both ways," would be another way of saying it.

12. Head over heels

Very rarely do people describe being deeply in love without using this phrase. But it's a confusing one, because isn't your head always over your heels? That doesn't seem to be an extraordinary state of being.

The idiom here has actually been flipped over time for unknown reasons. Originally, it went "heels over head", implying upside down. Some say it may also reference certain sexual positions...

13. Pushing the envelope

When I think of radical, risky, or pushing the limits of what's possible, sliding an envelope across a table just somehow doesn't quite capture it for me. But an envelope doesn't have to be just a paper container that you put other paper in. It can actually refer to different parts and practices of an aircraft.

"Push the envelope comes from aeronautics, where it refers to a set of performance limits that may not be safely exceeded," according to Merriam Webster. Now that's more like it!

Humor

Millennial woman relives the 'going out' routine of the early 2000s and it's so accurate

From the pregame to the quest for drunk food, every millennial lived this.

Not sure if we actually want to go back to this.

Millennials, are you ready to go back in time to the days of throwing on super low-rise jeans and hitting the clubs (after a few pregame “cocktails,” aka Red Bull and Vodka) on any given weekend? Buckle up, the nostalgia is about to get so good.

Recently fellow millennial Jenna Barclay, whose social media bread and butter is all things nostalgic, had wondered aloud if Gen Zers still “went out” the way our generation once did, because, as she recalled, “when I was in college in the 2000s, going out was huge.” Just what did a typical night of “going out” look like as a millennial? Let Barclay paint a picture with flawless accuracy.

First, there’s the frequency. As Barclay explained, “Our whole week revolved around going out Thursday through Saturday. There's a whole ritual around it.” yup, that check outs.

Then there are the “phases” of a night out, with Phase 1 of course being “getting ready.”


@jennaabarclay I did this every weekend for 4 solid years and kids today just want to sit and look at their phones???? #2000s ♬ original sound - Jenna Barclay

“You would haul all of your cheap Forever 21, going-out outfit options over to your friend's crappy off-campus apartment. And you would get ready together while you drank Francia, or maybe whatever beer you had leftover from the weekend before, like, Keystone Light or Natty Ice. Maybe if somebody just got paid and you were feeling fancy, you had some liquor, like some UV blue that you would mix with soda inside a plastic cup from a gas station with a straw,” she said. Wow, it’s like she lived my life!

After getting ready, would come the “pregame” phase, which “was the first official stop of the night,” where the one and only mission would be to “get as drunk as humanly possible before you went to the main event of the evening.” This would normally be accomplished by a variety of drinking games, such as King’s Cup, Ride the Bus, Presidents and A**holes, etc.


Around 10 or 11 pm (when millennials today are in PJs and watching Love is Blind on Netflix) would be the actual going out phase. And if you’ve done your pregame ritual correctly, this would be when chaos sets in.

“When you were all sufficiently wasted, you would all decide it was time to go to the party. And by this point, you're blackout, basically. I mean, you've taken half a bottle of UV to the face and like drank seven Keystone Light, like you're gone. So, you don't wear a jacket. You're always severely underdressed for the weather. You're probably wearing some super cheap high heels from Charlotte Russe that are probably gonna break, and you go teetering across your crappy college town to some other crappy off-campus house where you mostly just stand in one spot,” said Barclay.

Finally, we have the final (and arguably most fun!) phase of the night: the drunken fast food run. “Taco Bell, Taco Cabana, Watta-Burger, Little Caesars, whatever. It didn't matter as long as you secured the food. And then you'd usually go back to the original spot, the place where you got ready with that group of people. You would eat your food and then you would pass out.” Not gonna lie, this is a phase I haven’t grown out of just yet.

But wait, the event isn’t technically over! Because there’s a lot the morning after phase, in which you and your friend would have to figure out what the heck happened during your night of debauchery.


Keep in mind, kids, that we didn’t have the same modern day conveniences as we do today. So finding out this valuable intel would require, as Barclay explained, “fishing out your digital camera, which you took with you to every stop the night before.”

“And you would hardwire that bad boy to your big, pink, clunky Dell laptop, and you would sit there for like three hours while all 465 pictures that you took the night before uploaded onto the computer. And then you would put them in a public Facebook album that you would call something like, ‘Nights We’ll Never Remember with People We’ll Never Forget.’ And then you would individually caption every single one of the pictures with something like, I don't know, ‘LOL, drunk.’ And then as the cherry on top, you would tag all of your friends in all of these pictures, the worst, the most unflattering photos that have been taken of any human since the dawn of the world. You would tag them in every single one. And then we would just repeat this all the next night.”

Ah. good time. Good times, indeed.

Unsurprisingly, millennials were quick to pounce on this video, and relive their youth a bit.

“Can we talk about how we played beer pong with beer actually IN the cup?! Chugging grass, dirt and all!” one person wrote, while another commented, “To ThE nIgHtS wE wOnT rEmEmBer 😂😂😂😂 literally titled like this. I literally had to go through my fb and untag myself from so many of these albums.”

Still another recalled that “being chosen as the ‘get ready’ house was such an honor.”

A few chimed in to debate which phase of the night was actually the best part. One person argued that “The pregame was always more fun than the actual party,” while another claimed “the group hangover couch rot the next day watching MTV was the best part.”

As far as whether or not Gen Zers enjoy going out the same way millennials did…I think we all know that times have changed. Blame it on coming of age during a pandemic, a rising interest in sobriety, having less disposable income, you name it…by and large, Gen Zers are more likely to host apartment game nights than actually going out. That said, there does seem to be a growing interest in nightlife. And the cool thing is, there’s infinitely more curated options available today, even plenty of clubs that cater to the sober curious. So folks today can have a night out of fun in perhaps healthier ways.

However, according to some Gen Zer’s the comment section of Barclays’ video, some of these questionable traditions live on.

“As a gen z in college at a SEC school trust we do the exact same thing except we go to bars after pre games (we play the same games as yall lol)” one youngster wrote.

Another said, “happy to report i did do this in college, from 2019-2023 :)❤️”

Some habits die hard. Clearly.

Modern Families

'SAHMs Listen up!': Texas UPS driver has pointed message about stay-at-home moms and entitlement

“You are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you.”

via J.R. Minton (used with permission)

A Texas UPS driver has a strong opinion on stay-at-home moms.

J.R. Minton, a 33-year-old UPS driver from the Dallas, Texas area, ruffled some feathers recently with a viral TikTok video titled “SAHMs Listen up!” that begins with him asking, “I mean, how entitled could you be?” At first, Minton appears to fail to appreciate the enormous amount of emotional, mental, and physical labor that stay-at-home moms provide.

“I truly cannot imagine the amount of arrogance you must have to sit there and complain when you are so privileged to have a person who is willing to provide such a carefree life for you,” Minton continues. “Let’s get real! What do you do all day? Your spouse is taking care of everything so you can take care of one thing. How complicated could it be: all you do is go to work?”

At this point, legions of stay-at-home mothers and those who love them considered trucking themselves to Dallas to find this unappreciative UPS driver. However, it was soon apparent that Minton was referring to himself.

@minton__jr

Grow tf up—You should be doing more. #sahm #sahmlife #momlife #mom #momsoftiktok #sahmsoftiktok #sahmtok #momtok

“For 10 hours a day, you get to live the life of a single, childless, carefree man because your wife was willing to take the financial risk of allowing you to be successful in your career while she takes care of everything else,” he continues. “She provides childcare services, home cleaning services, medical services, food services, scheduling services, and a list that goes on and on. And you provide... a paycheck? And you have the nerve to call yourself the provider! What is it going to take for you to realize that, bro, everything you have in your life is because of a stay-at-home mom.”

The commenters on the video breathed sighs of relief and then praised Minton, a father of 4, for publicly appreciating his wife’s work.



"My sleeves were rolled up, earrings were off, hair tied up.... I was so ready...." one commenter joked. "I thought I landed in enemy territory for a min..." another added. "You have just made me realize after all these years that *I* am the freaking provider and that feels amazing,” a stay-at-home mother wrote.

People appreciate Minton’spost because he praised stay-at-home mothers and placed his wife’s work above his, which he characterized as merely bringing home a paycheck. Minton has one job, delivering packages, but as he noted, his wife is an expert in over five different professions. In a world where stay-at-home moms are fighting to be seen as equals to their working spouses, Minton places them on a pedestal and owes his “carefree life” to them.

"Married life, with children, is bound to be chaotic," Minton told Upworthy. "It’s bound to have its ups and downs; It’s made me question myself a thousand times. However, the marriage my wife and I share has given me the space to find peace."

Minton may be sharing an opinion we don't hear often enough, but he doesn't think he's the only one who thinks that way. "The last thing I am is rare or unique. There’s nothing special about the way that I feel or the things that I say. I have the same thoughts, feelings, frustrations and problems that any other husband or father might be struggling with," he told Upworthy. "The only difference that might be apparent is how I choose to react to the same situations any other man might encounter."

This post isn’t the first time Minton has pulled the bait and switch on his followers. Last year, he made a video where he appeared to take pride in the fact that he never “helps” his wife with chores.

The twist in this video was that he doesn’t “help” his wife with chores because they are also his responsibility. "Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can't help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he reveals.

He then urged men to change their perspectives on how they view stay-at-home moms. “Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man," he added.

Allen Taylor/Unsplash

I've never been a big fan of arguing with my kids over common sense. The classic example is that kids, once they reach a certain age, never want to wear a coat no matter how cold it is outside. Some parents, knowing the correct decision, will force their kids to wear the coat. Others will carry it along, just in case their kids do decide they want it, and wave it around so other parents know they're not being irresponsible.

I've always thought a perfectly acceptable way to handle this is to let my kids experience the consequences of their own actions. Oh, you're cold now? Who could have possibly predicted that?! Finding out that not wearing a coat when it's cold outside feels bad is a pretty good way for them to make sure they learn how to make a better decision next time.

There are caveats, of course. You can never let your kids do anything dangerous or something that can't be fixed in some way. But in general, natural consequences are really a great way to learn — as opposed to parent-imposed consequences like timeouts, being grounded, yelling, etcetera.

It turns out there is a name for this parenting style, and it's all the rage on social media: It's called 'FAFO' Parenting.

You might know the acronym FAFO as "F Around and Find Out," and I think that sums up this approach perfectly.


Giphy

FAFO Parenting emphasizes that kids should learn by experiencing the natural consequences of their actions, instead of punishments imposed by parents.

Punishments are often not an amazing way for kids to learn. They're usually completely unrelated to the actual lesson ("Eat your vegetables or go to your room") or they actually turn out to be harder on the parents than the kids (Ever try "No TV for the weekend"? Not a lot of fun, is it?). That's not to say that punishments have no place in parenting, but there's often a better way.

Natural consequences, on the other hand, are how adults learn — so it stands to reason that they can help kids learn, too. Natural consequences should be immediate and relatively low stakes. For example, if your child plays rough with a toy and breaks it, they no longer have that toy. Easy peasy!

On the other hand, if your kid is being mean to his friend, the natural consequence would be that eventually, that person won't be his friend anymore. That's a really tough lesson for a young kid to learn, and it could have lasting consequences. Plus it's also not immediate, it would build up over time, so it's not the best time for parents to avoid stepping in FAFO-style.

The natural consequence of playing with a lighter is that your kid might get burned. Again, not a good time for FAFO!

One viral video explains FAFO Parenting perfectly, along with giving a few examples.

“So I practice authoritative parenting, but within what I would consider a subgenre that I would call 'fuck around and find out' parenting, they fuck around, then they find out," says TikTok mom Janelle. "They get their natural consequences and get to figure out the way through them,”

“This weekend, I took my kid camping for the first time with the Cub Scouts, and we had a great time. But at one point it was raining pretty hard. It was raining all day. It was real wet, and the kids were all just playing around at the campsite, and my son decided he didn't want to wear his rain jacket anymore," she explains. "OK that's up to you, I'm not fighting my kid on a jacket unless temperatures are such that it could be dangerous with it. I did warn him like, OK but you're gonna get wet, just so you know, I'm not gonna get a new shirt out for you. You're gonna have to figure this one out yourself."

She says about 10 minutes later her son decided he didn't like being wet and wanted to go change.

"He got to decide for himself when he needed to go find a new shirt and stop playing and change. And we pretty much do that with everything that there's not a safety concern."

@hey.im.janelle

Probably described by less uncouth parents as "learning from natural consequences," I've found that the #FAFO method helps kids learn much better than lectures do. #authoritativeparenting #parentsoftiktok #momsoftiktok

Parents are split on FAFO as a parenting style. It does foster independence and better decision making, but it comes with its downsides.

"I love this. This is what we do. My kids are confident and polite and thinkers! You're doing great!!!🥰," wrote on parent.

"We looove fafo parents. That’s how I was raised. That’s how my kids will be raised bc that’s how they listen and behave and learn," commented another.

Janelle's video is originally from 2022 but has more recently skyrocketed in views, racking up over 340,000 to date. But not all of those viewers were on board with the approach.

The downsides to FAFO parenting, or natural consequence parenting, are twofold:

First, it can be tricky to determine what is a reasonable natural consequence for your kid to experience and what's too harsh or dangerous. It's a tough line to draw in the moment. As a parent, you're supposed to teach them, but you're also supposed to protect them. Later in Janelle's video, she uses the example of her kids climbing too high in a tree — the consequence is that they have to figure out a way to get down safely. Sounds a little too risky for me, but maybe I'm just a worrier.

Second, natural consequences aren't always immediate. Especially in younger kids, it might be tough to connect consequences that come way later to the actions that caused them. If they skip a meal or snack, they might not be hungry for several hours. At that delayed point, the lesson may not land as well as you'd think.

Giphy

There's also a risk that, if not done properly, FAFO can be construed by your child that you aren't concerned for their safety and well-being.

"Makes ur kid feel like u don’t actually care about them or what happens to them. My mom did that," one user wrote under the video.

Every parent has to draw their own line, and determine their own teaching style. Not matter what flavor or parenting you prefer, not every tool in your toolbox will work in every situation. Some scenarios lend themselves perfectly to FAFO and natural consequences. Others require a more protective style of teaching. Learning when and how to use technique properly is a frustrating and never-ending process. Welcome to parenting!


Photo by Efe Kurnaz on Unsplash
multicolored hallway

Here’s what yellow tastes like to me

For people with synesthesia (which in ancient Greek translates to "together sensation"), they experience a neural crossing of the senses, and it can happen in a variety of ways. Some might associate letters or numbers with colors. Others can "feel" the taste of chocolate. Still, someone else might hear a D minor chord and taste pastrami.

Psychology Today estimates that only three to five percent of the population experiences this, with women more likely than men. They explain, "Synesthesia is a neurological condition. Simply put, when one sense is activated, another unrelated sense is activated at the same time."

I can attest it’s a lot of fun! When I was in high school, someone asked what day our Algebra exam was. I meant to say Wednesday, but instead answered, "Pink." Obviously, this was met with an intense stare, followed by the questions, "What are you on? Who is your dealer and how do I get some?"

The truth is, Wednesdays have always been a pale bubblegum pink for as long as I can remember. Tuesdays are emerald green, as is London. Fridays are purple. New York is blue. Dallas and Saturdays are white, and so on. If specific days of the week or cities are mentioned or even thought about, it’s as if my mind gets dipped into a certain color like an Easter egg. I think of Thursday and my brain swims in turquoise. (Oh, and yellow tastes like apple juice.)

In the subreddit group "Synesthesia," others exemplify how it manifests for them.

Does Your Sonata Glow Pink?


Evolving Get Together GIF by Barbara PozziGiphy

A Reddit user shares, "All my life I’ve seen shapes and stuff when I listen to music. Except it’s never been only shapes. Whenever I listen to a song, I see a line I’m following, it’s usually a light pink color and glowing. Then the line will create shapes or patterns based on the beat or sound of the song. It’s all different patterns depending on what song it is."

This sounds like a mix between timbre-shape synesthesia and color-coded sounds, known as chromesthesia. Many famous musicians and composers have reported this phenomenon, including Duke Ellington, Stevie Wonder, Billy Joel, and Itzhak Perlman, the latter once saying, "If I play a B-flat on the G string, I would say that the color for me is probably deep forest green. And if I play an A on the E string, that would be red."

The Loudness of Your Hands


Tea Relaxing GIFGiphy

Another Redditor associates touch with sound. "I've always been able to hear touch…but only when the touch is stroking (prodding/poking doesn’t yield the same result). I hear a hissing noise, and it’s very different from just the sound of the contact on my skin – the noise feels like it is coming from 'inside' my head, and I hear it completely unchanged even with noise-canceling earphones or industrial-strength earplugs in! Apparent volume is also proportional to pressure applied."

When Your Spoon is Friendly


eat chinese GIF by Maria TranGiphy

Grapheme-color synesthesia is the most commonly reported type, in which synesthetes assign colors to alphabet letters and/or numbers.

But this Redditor takes it to the next level. "Not only do I associate numbers, letters, days, and months with colors and personalities, but also seemingly random everyday things and places. For example, a certain road in my hometown seems brown-ish orange. And strangely, kitchen utensils. A fork is blue and a young, introverted guy. A spoon is pink/orange and a middle-aged, friendly woman. A knife is green and is a middle-aged man who has a great sense of humor and is bald."

Jealousy, in B-flat

Streaming Pop Art GIF by XinanimodelacraGiphy

For some synesthetes, feelings have sound. A commenter shares, "Every emotion of mine has a chord. Every taste has a chord. Every physical touch has a chord. Hot and cold have chords. I can tell you the exact notes of my heart on a keyboard. Exactly what I’m feeling."