+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy
Most Shared

A lost narwhal has found its forever home after being adopted by these lovable Beluga whales.

After 3 years, they’re ready to make it official: this adorable group of marine buddies has staying power.

The Group for Research and Education on Marine Mammals (GREMM), a non-profit focused on whale research and conservation has been monitoring the seemingly strange bonding, in which a group of young Beluga whales have adopted a narwhal that appears to have gotten lost after wandering into Canada’s St. Lawrence River.

"It behaves like it was one of the boys," said GREMM President and Scientific Director Robert Michaud. "They are in constant contact with each other."

Sometimes referred to as “the unicorns of the sea,” narwhals are famous for their “teeth,” a tusk that can grow up to eight feet long.

GREMM has been monitoring the group for three years via a drone and noticed them playing and traveling together. The two species are closely related genetically but Michaud says they have substantial differences, such as feeding habits and habitat preferences.

However, the narwhal is showing signs of behavioral adaptation, even blowing bubbles near the surface of the water, like its Beluga buddies.

Both species are also very social, which can sometimes be a problem. For example, Michaud said that other wandering narwhals have gotten into accidents, sometimes fatal, when they tried to befriend humans or boats.

"That little narwhal that made a similar trip was very lucky," he said. "Because he found almost normal buddies."

Narwhals: They’re just like us.

OK, not really. But the unusual bonding display is a nice change of pace in a news cycle that seems to exclusively focus on what separates all creatures and things from each other.

For their part, Belugas are highly regarded for their social and even compassionate nature. If that sounds like a stretch, consider this example of a Beluga showing unbelievable tolerance toward Justin Bieber:

Photo by Bob Couey/SeaWorld San Diego via Getty Images.

Maybe letting a lonely narwhal hang out with your boys isn't such a great sacrifice when you think of it that way.

It’s a point that Harvard researcher Martin Nweeia couldn’t help but notice, telling the CBC:

"I think it shows … the compassion and the openness of other species to welcome another member that may not look or act the same. And maybe that's a good lesson for everyone."

Health

Conflict expert shares the 1 phrase you can use to stop an argument from happening

It'll make people agree with you, too.

via Canva/Photos

A guy having a collaborative conversation.

The quickest way to stop having a constructive dialog with someone is when they become defensive. This usually results in them digging in their heels and making you defensive. This can result in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that can feel impossible to break. Once that happens, the walls go up, the gloves come off and resolving the situation becomes tough.

Amanda Ripley, author of “High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out,” says in her book that you can prevent someone you disagree with from becoming defensive by being curious about their opinion.

Ripley is a bestselling author and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict.

How to have a constructive conversation

Let’s say you believe the room should be painted red and your spouse says it should be blue. Instead of saying, “I think blue is ugly,” you can say, “It’s interesting that you say that…” and ask them to explain why they chose blue.

The key phrase is: “It’s interesting that you say that…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsPeople coming to an agreement. via Canva/Photos

When you show the other person that you genuinely care about their thoughts and appreciate their reasoning, they let down their guard. This makes them feel heard and encourages them to hear your side as well. This approach also encourages the person you disagree with to consider coming up with a collaborative solution instead of arguing to defend their position.

It’s important to assume the other person has the best intentions while listening to them make their case. “To be genuinely curious, we need to refrain from judgment and making negative assumptions about others. Assume the other person didn’t intend to annoy you. Assume they are doing the best they can. Assume the very best about them. You’ll appreciate it when others do it for you,” Kaitlyn Skelly at The Ripple Effect Education writes.

Phrases you can use to avoid an argument

The curiosity approach can also involve affirming the other person’s perspective while adding your own, using a phrase like, “On the one hand, I see what you’re saying. On the other hand…”

Here are some other phrases you can use:

“I wonder if…”

“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”

“I might be wrong, but…”

“How funny! I had a different reaction…”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that! For me, though, it seems…”

“I think I understand your point, though I look at it a little differently…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsTwo men high-fiving one another.via Canva/Photos

What's the best way to disagree with people?

A 2016 study from Yale University supports Ripley’s ideas. The study found that when people argue to “win,” they take a hard line and only see one correct answer in the conflict. Whereas those who want to “learn” are more likely to see that there is more than one solution to the problem. At that point, competition magically turns into collaboration.

“Being willing to hear out other perspectives and engage in dialogue that isn’t simply meant to convince the other person you’re right can lead to all sorts of unexpected insights,” psychologist and marketing Professor at Southern Methodist University tells CNBC.

In a world of strong opinions and differing perspectives, curiosity can be a superpower that helps you have more constructive conversations with those with whom you disagree. All it takes is a little humility and an open mind, and you can turn conflict into collaboration, building bridges instead of walls.

relationships
Pets

Woman discovers her tireless dog has secretly been playing fetch with the neighbors

Bounder is living the good life.

via brittneygoes/tiktok

Bounder playing fetch with his neighbor.

Every dog is different when it comes to playing fetch. Some have zero interest in playing, while others are obsessed with the game and won’t stop playing until their human friends force them to stop.

There are a lot of reasons why dogs love to play fetch. First, most dogs are genetically predisposed to chasing after objects that move, whether it’s a car or a squirrel. They also instinctually bring back prey to their dens.

“After a hunt, sometimes the wolf will carry the prey back to the den to be consumed safely with the pack, essentially ‘retrieving’ dinner for the family,” Katelyn Schutz, Certified Professional Dog Trainer of Wisconsin Pet Care, said according to BarkPost. “The game of fetch in our pet dogs is suggested to be a simple variation of this ‘prey-carrying’ behavior.”

Fetch also stimulates the reward centers in a dog’s brain, so once they get started playing they don’t want to stop. Bounder, Brittney Reynolds’ black Labrador, can’t get enough of catching and retrieving a tennis ball.

“He’s obsessed,” Reynolds told The Dodo. “He will play fetch until I make him stop.”


@brittneygoes

He brings it back to the edge of the fence. #blacklab #doglover #SeeHerGreatness

Bounders' obsession with the game led him to ask Reynolds’ neighbor to play fetch with him when she wouldn’t. She discovered the game had been going on in secret one day when she went outside to see why Bounder was barking and discovered he was asking the neighbor to play with him.

“The neighbor was sitting on his back patio with the ball gun on the table, and Bounder was staring him down and barking at him wanting to play,” Reynolds said. “I tried to tell him to stop barking, but the neighbor got up and started shooting the ball gun for him. It was just so cute. I went and thanked him for playing with my boy and found out that they had been doing this for a while.”

The neighbors had a ball gun to play fetch with their dog, Layla.

Reynolds shared a wholesome video of Bounder and the neighbor playing together and it went viral receiving over 6.8 million views. “Just found out my neighbor and my dog have been playing fetch together over the fence,” she captioned the video.

Some commenters thought the game was great for the dog and the neighbor, too. "I just watched all your videos on this and I'm in love with this story! Your dogs have new grandparents and they have a reason to stay active," Monica wrote.

"I hope that you know that allowing this is making that man’s day. You are a great neighbor and humanitarian. Thank you," another user wrote.

@brittneygoes

Caught the neighbor playing with a Bounder again. He looks forward to this. #goodneighbors #doglovers #Totinos425

“I am a huge dog lover, and it always makes me happy to see others treating dogs so well,” Reynolds said about her neighbor.

“Our dogs are our family, and I think you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat animals.” Reynolds shared a follow-up video that showed the over-the-fence fetch game is still happening.


This article originally appeared on 5.2.22

From Your Site Articles
dogs
Modern Families

Do you have a "living room family" or a "bedroom family"?

This 'debate' is all the rage on TikTok. But one is not better than the other.

alexxx1915/TikTok

TikTok user alexxx1915 recently posted a short video with the caption: "I just learned the term 'living room family' and I never understood why my kids never played in their rooms when I always did as a kid."

She briefly shows her kids hanging out in the living room with their pet dog and some toys scattered around the floor, before panning to her own face and giving a sort of sentimental look. The simple, ten-second clip struck a huge nerve with parents, racking up over 25 million views and thousands of heartfelt comments.





@alexxx1915

#livingroomfamily #fypシ

What are "living room families" and "bedroom families"?

This idea has been going around for a while on social media.

Simply put, a living room family is a family that congregates in the living room, or any common space in the household. Kids play in the same space where the adults relax — and things are often messy, as a result. Everyone interacts with each other and spends lots of time together. Bedrooms are reserved mostly for sleeping and dressing.

A bedroom family, on the other hand, is where the kids spend more time in their rooms. They play there, watch TV, and maybe even eat meals. Typically, the main rooms of the house are kept neat and tidy — you won't find a lot of toys scattered about — and family time spent together is more structured and planned ahead rather than casual.

"Living room families" has become the latest aspirational term on TikTok. Everyone wants to be a living room family!

The implication of being a bedroom family, or having 'room kids', is that perhaps they don't feel safe or comfortable or even allowed to take up room in the rest of the house, or to be around the adults.

"I remember my brother coming round once and he just sat in silence while watching my kids play in livingroom. After a while he looked at me and said 'It's so nice that your kids want to be around you'" one commenter said on alexxx1915's video.

"I thought my kids hated their rooms 🥺 turns out they like me more" said another.

"You broke a generational curse. Good job mama!" said yet another.

There's so much that's great about having a family that lives out in the open — especially if you were raised feeling like you had to hide in your room.

In my own household, we're definitely a living room family. We're around each other constantly, and the house is often a mess because of it. Learning about this term makes me feel a little better that my kids want to be around us and feel comfortable enough to get their 'play mess' all over the living room.

The mess is a sign of the love and comfort we all share together.

But the big twist is that it's also perfectly fine if your kids — and you! — like a little more solitary time.

boy playing with toys on the floorGavyn Alejandro/Unsplash

Being a 'bedroom family' is actually perfectly OK.

There's a similar discourse that took place last year about living room parents vs bedroom parents. The general consensus seemed to be that it was better to be a living room parent, who relaxed out in the open versus taking alone time behind closed doors.

But it really doesn't have to be one or the other, and neither is necessarily better.

Making your kids feel relegated to their room is, obviously, not great. It's not a good thing if they feel like they're not allowed to exist in and play in the rest of the house.

But if they just like hanging out in their room? Nothing wrong with that at all! And same goes for parents.

Alone time is important for parents and kids alike, and everyone needs different amounts of it to thrive.

Kids with certain special needs, like being on the autism spectrum, may be absolutely thrilled to spend lots of time in their rooms, for example.

So are you a living room family or a bedroom family? Turns out, it doesn't really matter, as long as your family loves each other and allows everyone to be exactly who they are.

From Your Site Articles
parents
Joy

A 30-year-old woman got dumped but hundreds cheered her up by sharing how they found love after 30

It's never too late to find love.

via Twitter

Couples who met after 30.

A lot of emotions rise to the surface after being dumped. It can leave a person feeling sad, lonely, confused, rejected and left with a sense that you’ll never find anyone again. People tend to think, “If that person couldn’t stick it out with me, then who will?”

However, most of the time, it’s irrational worry. There are more than a few billion people on the planet to choose from, you just gotta put yourself out there. But that’s a hard thing to hear when your feelings are still raw.

A study reported by The New York Times found that today, the old “plenty of fish in the sea” cliche is growing truer by the day. We are nearing a point where there will be more unmarried adults in the U.S. than those who have tied the knot.

The most recent Census data shows the share of American adults who were neither married nor living with a significant other had risen to 46.4%. So good news for you single folks, the dating pool just keeps getting deeper.

In 2020, Kelsey Huse, a software engineer from Austin, Texas, broke up with her boyfriend and at the age of 30, felt like she was never going to meet anyone again. “My bf broke up with me this week and I just wanna hear happy stories of ppl who found their partner in their 30s thanks,” she tweeted.

Huse received an avalanche of responses from people who shared pictures and stories about how they met their special people in their 30s and later, giving her plenty of hope for the future. Her tweet went mega-viral earning nearly 7,000 retweets and 150,000 likes.

Here are some of the best responses.


Huse couldn't believe the incredible responses she received and they really did lift her spirits.

Huse may not have known it at the time, but breaking up at 30 may have been a blessing in disguise. Studies show that people who get married later in life have better mental health than those who get hitched at a younger age.

According to family ecology researcher Matt Johnson, those who married at the same age as or later than their peers reported higher levels of happiness and self-esteem—and less depression—than those who married early.

"People who marry early tend not to get as much education, have kids earlier than is optimal, and as a result get locked into careers they hadn't aspired to. In mid-life they're a little more depressed—or have a lower sense of self-worth—not because they violated some societal norm, but because they started down the path to family life early,” Johnson said.

Huse's story shows that there is no time frame for love and that it’s possible to find the perfect person well after the age of 30. It also shows that even though Twitter gets a deserved bad rap for being a pretty hostile environment, every once in a while people come together to do something beautiful.

From Your Site Articles
relationships
Teachers

Entire class of high school graduates return to retired kindergarten teacher's house to thank her

Now, this is what we call a high school reunion!

Photo by Vasily Koloda on Unsplash

A group of high school graduates surprised their former kindergarten teacher.

Kindergarten is one of the most formative experiences in a child's life. Not only do they learn there how to navigate the tricky world of friendships and the seeds of independence, they also start their education journey. All of that is made extra special if they have a teacher who really loves them. When you're a kindergarten teacher, you know that you have the power to make a serious impact, and that shouldn't be taken lightly. A retired kindergarten teacher warmed hearts on TikTok as people learn just how great that impact is.

In the video, shared by user Kim Hamilton (the daughter of said teacher) in 2022, the woman, who is identified in the comments as Mrs. Pearson, is sitting on her porch when a girl in a cap and gown shows up at the gate. "Congratulations!" Mrs. Pearson calls out, waving. Soon, she realizes that the young girl isn't alone.


"What's happening?" she asks her daughter, who can be heard chuckling behind the camera.

"They're your kindergarteners," Hamilton replies, as kids in caps and gowns start filing through the gate.

"Did you know this was happening?!" Pearson asks, the shock and joy clearly evident on her face.

"Oh my gosh, I love you all! Look at you!" she exclaims as she runs over to the kids.

Hamilton explains to her that these kids, clearly high school graduates, are the last group of kindergarten students Pearson taught before retiring. As each one of them comes into the gate, the joy on Pearson's face grows exponentially. It's clear that these kids were her babies, and even though now they're all grown up and going off to college, they'll always have that special place in her heart.

"Oh my god, you're all just gorgeous!" she says, giving each one a hug.

The kids are just as happy to see their beloved Mrs. Pearson as she is to see them. They eagerly shuffle together to pose for a picture as she just stops and looks at them, taking it all in. Presumably, she hasn't seen them much in the approximately 12 years since she retired. Maybe they've seen each other around—as a kid, I loved running into my teachers outside of school. I still do. But the fact that these kids showed up to see her, to allow her to celebrate her integral role in their lives, that's really special. And I'm not the only one who thinks so.

Here are just a handful of the comments people left on Hamilton's video:

"Proof they never stop being our kids after they leave us."

"The love she showed and was shown, she must have been one heck of a teacher 💕"

"I started crying when your mom did."

"Love this! ❤ I teach kindergarten and only hope my students will remember me like this! She must have been extraordinary!"

"Literally teachers like HER are the reasons I still talk to my teachers from middle school, HS & college🥺 good teachers are so special"

Watch the video below and try not to cry.
@kimhamilton15 #kindergartentograduation ♬ Graduation March - Pomp And Circumstance - Instrumental - Zev Weinstein

This article originally appeared on 6.8.22

From Your Site Articles
Trending Stories