upworthy
Joy

7 things Black people want their well-meaning white friends to know

"You, white friend, need to speak up and say something when I can't."

comic of a Black man holding a sandwich speaking to a white woman
Silver Sprocket/YouTube

Growing up black in a white neighborhood.

I grew up Black in a very white neighborhood in a very white city in a very white state.

As such, I am a lot of people's only Black friend.

Being the only Black friend is a gift and a curse. I am Black and I love having friends. But I am also, at any given moment, expected to be a translator, an ambassador, a history teacher, and/or a walking, talking invitation into "I am not racist" territory. It's a lot to handle. See what I mean about that curse?

So when I saw the animated short-film "Your Black Friend," I felt so seen. Clearly, I am not alone.

group of teens taking a photo before a dance. all eyes are pixelated except the author's

Don't get me wrong, my friends are awesome, just very white. Here are me and a few of my pixelated pals before a high school dance in the early 2000s.

Photo courtesy of the author.

The film, which was written, designed, and narrated by Ben Passmore and is based on his mini-comic of the same name, is a brilliant, refreshing way to examine whiteness and racism. The comic and animated short are an open-letter from "your Black friend" to you, their well-meaning white friend, about bias, alienation, and what it means to be a good ally and friend.

It's funny, honest, and heartbreaking in equal measure. And speaking from personal experience, it captures the experience of being a Black friend to white people pretty much perfectly.

So if you're a "woke" friend and ally, here are some things your Black friend wants you to know.

1. You're going to have to get uncomfortable.

illustration of a white barista looking uncomfortable in front of a customer

Animation depicting a racist joke that creates an awkward and upsetting space.

Silver Sprocket/YouTube

It could be something as obvious and upsetting as a racist joke. Or something as "benign" as your aunt suggesting you cross the street when she sees a group of Black kids walking by. But either way, if you want to be a good friend and a real ally, you're going to have to speak up. You're going to have to have those tough conversations with people you care about.

It's not easy to confront strangers or people you love, but if you don't do it, you are part of the problem. Sitting out isn't an option. No one said being an ally is easy.

2. "Your Black friend would like to say something to the racist lady, but doesn't want to appear to be that 'angry Black man.'"

illustration of Black man walking by police car, littering, and the sirens going off

Biased situations that play out uncomfortably true.

Silver Sprocket/YouTube

"He knows this type of person expects that from him, and he will lose before he begins," Passmore says.

Black people can't always react or respond the way we want to. When I am followed in a department store, pulled over for no reason, or stared at while picking up dinner at the fancy grocery store, I can't stop what I'm doing and yell, "YES, I AM BLACK. NO, I AM NOT A CRIMINAL YOU SMALL-MINDED, BIASED ASSHOLES." Trust me, I want to. But especially when police are involved, I have to be calm, respectful, and obedient.

That's where you come in. You, white friend, need to speak up and say something when I can't. If you are not at risk, nor considered a threat, you have a certain amount of privilege in these situations. Use it to demand answers, speak to supervisors, or if things really get dicey, pull out your phone and hit record.

3. We are constantly monitoring our surroundings and adjusting our clothes, hair, speed, and speech to maintain white comfort.

illustration of two Black men talking; one looks anxious and one looks nonplussed

Friends may not realize the challenges in avoiding unwarranted confrontation.

Silver Sprocket/YouTube

We don't like it, but one small choice—like deciding whether or not to wear a hood, or the speed at which we reach into our glove box—can be the difference between life and death.

When I am in a parking garage and walking behind a white woman, I intentionally cough or walk a little louder so she turns and notices me.

Why? Because when I don't, that same white woman will often clutch her purse and occasionally let out an audible gasp as I pass her. This is something my white friends likely don't realize I have to do. Some of them may even be the pearl-clutchers in the parking lot.

But to maintain white comfort and to avoid having the cops called on us, we often have to tamp down clothes, modify our speech and volume, even do our hair differently. We have to have "the talk" with our kids about how the world sees them, and how to act in order to make sure they come home alive.

No, it's not fair. No, we don't like it. But so long as this country and its institutions are built on a solid foundation of white supremacy, it's a grim reality. You need to know that, and take it up with your fellow white people about how to dismantle it.

4. "Your Black friend wishes you'd play more than Beyoncé. There are more Black performers than Beyoncé."

comig gif of a Black man looking uncomfortable in the car with a white friend

Taste isn't only derived from race and culture.

Silver Sprocket/YouTube

Lemonade was awesome. There is no denying it. And yes, I love seeing her iconic looks on Instagram too. But there is more to Black music and Black art than Beyoncé. Dip a toe outside your comfort zone and try new new artists and genres you may not be familiar with. Go listen, see it, and experience it for yourself.

And while we're here, you can't say the n-word when you sing along. Nope. You just can't.

5. Speaking of which, performative Blackness is really uncomfortable.

comic of a white woman wearing an afro wig to the chagrin of their Black friend

Sometimes jokes and misguided appreciation is hurtful.

Silver Sprocket/YouTube

When you wear that braided wig on Halloween, or use your "blaccent" when you're around me or other Black people, it hurts. It's not cute or charming, and it definitely doesn't make you seem cool.

Our culture and heritage are not costumes you can slide on and off at your convenience. We don't get to be Black only when it suits us. Neither do you.

6. "Your Black friend feels like a man without a country."

illustration of man walking up to a storefront that says "Hot Po-Boys"

Can we enjoy each others company without pointing out our differences?

Silver Sprocket/YouTube

Having white friends and seeming to "fit in" with the majority can feel really alienating. You can feel too "white" for Black people, and too "Black" for white people when all you want to do is find people to eat pizza with. As Passmore wrote, "He is lost in this contradiction, and held responsible for it."

7. We would love it if we could stop talking about our anxiety and frustrations regarding racism. But right now, that's impossible.

Our concerns are urgent and real. We're getting subpar health care. We're disenfranchised. We're over-policed. We're thrown in jail. We're killed by people sworn to protect us. It's exhausting, but we have to keep talking about it. So do you.

We can't be expected to dismantle white supremacy on our own.

Our white friends and allies need to step up and gather their people. Have the tough conversations. Speak up when you see racism, discrimination, and microaggressions. The time to talk about it is done. Be about it, or find yourself a new Black friend.

Watch "Your Black Friend" in full and check out Passmore's book, Your Black Friend And Other Strangers.


This article was written by Erin Canty and originally published on seven years ago.

From Your Site Articles
Pets

Veterinarian lists 6 things pet owners do that 'give him the ick.' Pet parents, take note.

Though meant in good fun, these 'icks' contain some helpful pointers.

Photo credit: Canva

No pet owner wants to give their vet "the ick."

Ally McBeal first brought us the phrase “gives me the ick” back in 1999, and it’s had a resurgence in recent years, thanks to TikTok. While mostly reserved for describing annoyances in the dating world, the term can and has been used to describe virtually every red flag or pet peeve under the sun. Now, thanks to Dr. Frank Bozelka, we can enjoy a veterinarian version of “the icks.”

Just to be clear, the icks in question don’t come from the patients themselves…but the pet parents. While Dr. Bozelka is clearly just poking fun, he doesn’t shy away from highlighting some of the choices that pet parents make that cause some serious problems for their furry friends.

Ick #1 - Trusting a breeder's opinion over a vet’s

As Bozelka points out in his video caption, breeders “are not medical experts.” He added that while there are certainly knowledgeable breeders out there—even some who taught him breed specific tidbits—”most of the time you’re dealing with a backyard breeder who is literally just trying to dodge any responsibility.”

@dr.bozelkaervet

While there certainly are breeders that know their stuff, they are still not medical experts! Sure I’ve learned a few things from breeders about unique breeds I didn’t know, but it’s not very common. And the harsh reality of being a vet is that most of the time, you’re dealing with a backyard breeder that’s literally just trying to dodge any responsibility. So yes, our gut reaction when people say that is to cringe, sorry. I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT JUST BUY A BREED BECAUSE IT’S CUTE!!! DO! YOUR!! HOMEWORK!!! Make sure the breed is a good fit for your lifestyle, and make sure your lifestyle is a good fit for the breed! And for retractable leashes: I’ve seen far more injuries caused to dogs and humans from retractable leashes compared to other leashes. End of explanation. For number 6: stop complaining about the wait times. We know it’s frustrating. The dirty truth, however, is the vast majority of the time it’s NOT the fault of the hospital staff. It’s other owners and the cases we are seeing. #fyp #comedyvideo #satire #doglover #catlover #petlover #vetsoftiktok #drbozelka


Hence why his gut reaction when he hears someone refer to a breeder’s opinion as gospel is to “cringe.”

Even breeders agreed on this one. One wrote, “As a breeder I never give medical advice. I say: ‘please go see your vet.’ Maybe because I’m also a vet tech.”

Ick # 2 - Doing the opposite of what the vet says they would do

Next on the list: when someone asks, “If this were your dog what would you do?" then proceeds to do the opposite of what he’d do.

“Bro, why did you even ask me?” he says in the clip. Seriously, why ask if you're not even going to take the information to heart?

University Of Washington Dog GIF by Pac-12 NetworkGiphy

Ick # 3 - Not accommodating a dog that needs lots of activity

Some people desperately want, say, a husky dog because they're so beautiful and so smart. But breeds like that also have very high activity needs that require some pretty significant lifestyle changes. And yet, people complain when that same breed of dog is tearing up the house all the time because they're not giving them the physical activity outlets they require.

In other words, you can put a dog bred to race sleds through the snow into a 12' by 12' living room and expect them to just happily chill there.

Ick #4 - Buying a pet after doing zero research on the specific needs of the breed

Along the lines of the husky example, pet owners really need to understand the breed of animal they are getting.

“I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT JUST BUY A BREED BECAUSE IT’S CUTE! DO! YOUR! HOMEWORK!” Bozelka wrote in all caps.

Dog breeds in particular vary a lot and some have very specific needs that an owner may not be prepared to handle. Know what you're getting into before making a decade-plus long commitment to care for an animal.

@dr.bozelkaervet

True story… Legends has it that Hisoka aged another 2 years by the time she realized what was happening with him… Make sure to follow me on other platforms for when TikTok inevitably gets banned! YouTube: @Dr.BozelkaERvet1 Facebook and Instagram: @Dr.BozelkaERvet #fyp #comedyvideo #catlover #doglover #petlover #animallover #vetsoftiktok #drbozelka

Ick #5 - Complaining about wait times at the ER

No one wants to be made to wait when their animal needs to be seen, but there's only so much that is under the staff's control.

“We know it’s frustrating,” Bozelka writes, “The dirty truth, however, is the vast majority of the time it’s NOT the fault of the hospital staff. It’s the other owner and the cases we are seeing."

Ick #6 - Retractable leashes

Lastly, Dr. Bozelka listed retractable leashes as an ick, simply because they’re so dangerous. He’s seen “far more injuries caused” by them in comparison to other leashes, so better to be safe than sorry.

While not every vet might have the same icks as Bozelka, it’s easy to see how any one in his situation would be aggravated. Vets undergo years of education and training to help give our pets the best life possible. And when we make their job even harder, frustration is inevitable.

Dr. Bozelka has also shared things pet owners do that vets love:

@dr.bozelkaervet

Replying to @konagirl02 May not be mah best work, but it’s still important work! There are plenty of things pet owners can do to make us happy, and most of them are pretty simple! And TRUST me, for those of you that are understanding and considerate of the wait times, the vet staffs are literally singing your praises and blessing your family and friends behind close doors because of how amazing you are! Being polite and understanding about your wait is a sure fire way to get a staff to love you (at least from an ER standpoint). #fyp #comedyvideo #catlover #doglover #petlover #animallover #vetsoftiktok #drbozelka

According to the website KeepingItPawsome.com, there are a few other behaviors that vets find frustrating, including:

Overfeeding, trusting “Dr. Google” over their professional opinion, being verbally abusive or getting hysterical in the waiting room, not having pet insurance or an emergency fund, waiting too long before brining the pet in to get a check up, expecting free treatment or reduced fees, giving up on sick or old pets, trying medications or supplements without consulting them (again, Google can’t always be trusted), and last but not least—expecting a quick and easy fix.

Vets want what’s best for our fur babies. So these are good things to remember as pet parents, so that we may better help them help us.

This article originally appeared last year.


From Your Site Articles
pets
Modern Families

NBA star's newest superfan is his girlfriend's sports-agnostic grandma

Grandma didn't care for sports. Now she's got Jaylin William's game schedule on the fridge.

Canva Photos

NBA star Jaylin Williams' newest and biggest fan is his girlfriend's grandma

It's a tall task for anyone to integrate themselves into their partner's family. You need to thread the needle of being polite and likable, but you can't be a pushover. The family has to respect you and view you as a good match for their daughter or son. And then there are individual relationships to build and nurture with each member of the family.

When you're a celebrity and your partner is a mostly regular person? It must be doubly hard. Once the razzle dazzle of being starstruck has worn off, family members are bound to have a lot of questions about your sincerity and your intentions.

Alanna Harris recently shared that her boyfriend, NBA player Jaylin Williams, has done an excellent job of becoming part of her family. He has hit it off with one surprising person, in particular: Her grandma.


jaylin williams, okc thunder, viral, heartwarming, grandma, friendshipJaylin Williams, winning on the court and with the grandmasGiphy

Jaylin Williams is an up and coming player for the Oklahoma City Thunder. The Thunder selected Williams in the second round of the 2022 NBA draft. While he's not as famous as, say, Lebron James, he's a good player who's really making a name for himself in the league. That comes with a lot of notoriety.

Harris' grandma, she says, never cared about sports, and thus had no idea who Williams was. At first. Now, she's his biggest fan. Harris posted an adorable slideshow of the two of them together on her TikTok page:

The first photo shows Harris' grandmother standing side by side with Williams, both with an arm thrown around each other. Williams' 6' 9" stature is readily apparent.

Next up is Grandma watching one of Williams' games on her phone, using a magnifying glass on the small screen. (Harris joked she was "keeping her eye out for another triple double.")

Then we've got Williams' upcoming game schedule, hand transcribed by Grandma and placed onto the fridge with a magnet (the paper is aptly titled "Basket Ball")

View the photos here.

The relationship and fandom goes ever deeper than the photos show.

"Sometimes it's hard for her to tell the players apart when she's watching on her phone because it's so tiny, so she will ask Jaylin to wear bright shoes so it's easier for her to find him," Harris told Newsweek. "He always does."

Grandma also has plenty of thoughts and opinions on how well (or not) Williams is playing in any given game.

"Sometimes she will call me during the game and ask if I can tell Jaylin he needs to shoot more when I text him at half time. I'm like, 'Grandma, the coaches know what they're doing.'"

But even though she's tough on Williams, she's still his biggest fan and defender. Harris says her grandma spends hours in Oklahoma City Thunder Facebook groups nobly defending Williams against haters and trolls.

Commenters couldn't get over the wholesome story of this improbable duo.

"Stop this is adorable"

"I know granny loved the triple double"

"The magnifying glass omg so cute"

"Grandma just tryna make sure her parlays hit," one user joked.

A user who claimed they worked for the Thunder even offered for Grandma to stop by during the next game and she'd get her a proper fridge magnet schedule. But I don't know, I kind of like the handwritten one!

Harris' post has over 5 million views and thousands of comments, both from fans of Williams and people who just love a heartwarming story.

@alanna.harris

like lets be so fr

Some say our culture has an unhealthy obsession over when celebrities date normal people, or "muggles." But we also have a perfectly normal and unstoppable obsession with adorable grandmas making friends with unexpected people.

Maybe it's because grandparents come from an older generation and, having a wealth of experience and wisdom, have far less of a filter. Grandma will let you know in no uncertain terms if she doesn't like you, and she does not have the time to put on a performance for her granddaughter's sake. So, you know the relationship is pure and genuine, as is granny's growing love of basketball. It's incredibly sweet that they've both put in the time and effort to get to know each other, and that all that effort is paying off in the family growing just a little bit bigger.

From Your Site Articles
friendship
Nature

These 13 stunning photos won gold in the 2021 World Nature Photography Awards

See how talented photographers capture the beauty and wonder of our world.

Tom Vierus/World Nature Photography Awards

Photographers capture some of nature's best moments.

The World Nature Photography Awards showcase the best of nature's moments caught on camera, and each year, the world's best photographers compete for gold in a range of categories. In the 2021 photo contest, Amos Nachoum from the United States won the top cash prize award of $1,000 for his image of a leopard seal about to capture a defenseless gentoo penguin. Four years later, the images are still unforgettable.

Getting the split-second photo was no easy task. Nachoum had to wait for hours on the remote island of Plano, off the Antarctic Peninsula, for the right moment at low tide when the seals entered a lagoon to catch their prey. Unfortunately, the photo is one of the last moments of the young penguin’s life. “The terrified penguin tried to escape as the game continued. But soon, the end came,” Nachoum said in a statement.

leopard seal, penguin, nature photographyWorld Nature Photographer of the Year and Gold Winner in "Behavior - Mammals" — Amos Nachoum, USA Amos Nachoum/World Nature Photography Awards

Nachoun's full photo statement: "For hours, I waited for the low tide to arrive along a shallow lagoon on a remote island off the Antarctic Peninsula. Like clockwork, the leopard seal arrived in the lagoon just before low tide. It put its head in the water and looked just like a rock sitting in the receding water. The young Gentoo penguins only dare to enter the water when it is shallow and when they got close enough to the seal, it turned its head at lightning speed, catching one of the penguins by its feet and taking it to deep water. Once the seal reached open water, I followed it and swam parallel to it, observing its actions. To my surprise, it let go of the penguin twice. Each time, the seal chased after the penguin again, as if it was enjoying the game. The terrified penguin tried to escape as the game continued. But soon, the end came."

Other winners included a remarkable shot of a humpback whale just outside New York City, a majestic photo of an orangutan in a river, and an arctic fox braving the frozen tundra in Iceland.

The photographs are a wonderful example of the dedication and care taken by nature photographers, but they’re also a reminder of our duty to care for the environment.

“The World Nature Photography Awards were founded in the belief that we can all make small efforts to shape the future of our planet in a positive way and that photography can influence people to see the world from a different perspective and change their own habits for the good of the planet. 2021’s competition saw entries come in from 20 countries across 6 continents,” the World Nature Photography Awards said in a press release.

Here are the other photographers who won gold in the 2021 contest.

macaques, baby macaque, nature photographyGold Winner in "Animal Portraits" — Tom Vierus, FijiTom Vierus/World Nature Photography Awards

"Long-tailed macaques enjoy the warmth of each other during a hot day in Bali, Indonesia. These animals show very similar behaviour to us humans including enjoying each other trusting company. The macaques are used to humans and are commonly found around temples where they tend to feed on food sacrifices by the locals."

frog, pacific tree frog, nature photographyGold Winner in "Behavior - Amphibians and Reptiles" — Shayne Kaye, CanadaShayne Kaye/World Nature Photography Awards

"This shot came out of a 'nothing' outing to a local park. It was the middle of a sunny summer day with harsh light and little activity. After going out with low expectations, I came across this tiny Pacific Tree Frog on a flower. After waiting for it to move into a more photogenic position on the flower, and trying repeatedly to catch the mottled light through the tree’s leaves above it at exactly the right spot, I got exactly what I was hoping for. It proved to me that there’s really no bad time to head into nature with a camera!"

wildebeest, vulture, africa wildlife, nature photographyGold Winner in "Behavior - Birds" — Ashok Behera, Indiavia Ashok Behera/World Nature Photography Awards

"A wildebeest’s eyes being gorged by an African vulture, keenly watched by an African fox for an opportunity to scavenge. Taken at Masai Mara, Kenya."

red ants, reflection, nature photographyGold Winner in "Behavior - Invertebrates" — Chin Leong Teo, Singaporevia Chin Leong Teo/World Nature Photography Awards

"The common red ant is ingenious at traversing terrain. When front scout ants encounter a water obstacle, they intuitively form an "ant-bridge" with their bodies, so that their ant-mates at the back of the party can cross."

tuscany, italy, landscape photography, nature photographyGold Winner in "Nature Art" — Federico Testi, ItalyFederico Testi/World Nature Photography Awards

"The natural creativity of San Quirico d'orcia, in Tuscany, Italy. Waves, shapes and tone created by light, in harmony with the universe."

lake baikal, russia, ice, nature photographyGold Winner in "People and Nature" — Sabrina Inderbitzi, SwitzerlandSabrina Inderbitzi/World Nature Photography Awards

"I crawled into this ice cave on the totally frozen Lake Baikal in Russia. First I didn't like the fact that the car and the people were in the middle of my picture, but then on a second view I found it just perfect."

goa, india, hut, nature photographyGold Winner in "Plants and Fungi" — Gautam Kamat Bambolkar, IndiaGautam Kamat Bambolkar/World Nature Photography Awards

"Entrance to a room inside an abandoned house in Goa, India. It is fascinating how mother nature takes over from where man has left."

humpback whale, new york, ocean, nature photographyGold Winner in "Urban Wildlife" — Matthijs Noome, USAMatthijs Noome/World Nature Photography Awards

"Finally got the shot I wanted: a humpback's fluke with the New York City downtown skyline in the distance. As water quality measures and conservation efforts have started to show real results over the last years, humpback whales are becoming a common sight more and more in New York waters."

new zealand, mountain reflection, nature photographyGold Winner in "Planet Earth's Landscapes and Environments" — Sam Wilson, AustraliaSam Wilson/World Nature Photography Awards

"Travelling down random dirt roads can be so rewarding when you are greeted with scenes like this. Taken on South Island, New Zealand."

arctic fox, Iceland, black and white photography, nature photographyGold Winner in "Black and White" — Vince Burton, United KingdomVince Burton/World Nature Photography Awards

"A recent trip to Iceland where we were lucky to view and photograph the rare 'blue morph' Arctic fox. The weather conditions were extreme, but that didn't seem to bother the fox."


orangutan, wildlife, nature photographyGold Winner in "Animals in Their Habitat" — Thomas Vijayan, CanadaThomas Vijayan/World Nature Photography Awards

"Mature male orangutans have large flappy cheek-pads, known as flanges, a throat sac used to make loud verbalisations called long calls. Once they reach maturity, they spend most of their time alone, about 90%. I was lucky enough to get this fully-grown, matured orangutan giving me the best pose possible."


baby orangutan, wildlife rescue, nature photographyGold Winner in "Nature Photojournalism" — Alain Schroeder, BelgiumAlain Schroeder/World Nature Photography Awards

"Sibolangit, SOCP Quarantine Centre, North Sumatra, Indonesia. The whole SOCP team works together to prepare Brenda, an estimated 3-month-old female orangutan (she has no teeth yet), for surgery. A sedative is administered, the arm is shaved, her temperature is taken, while others hold her head or her hand out of compassion for the baby. During the three-hour procedure, Dr. Andreas Messikommer, a renowned orthopaedic surgeon invited from Switzerland, will place a pin and screws to secure the damaged humerus. Brenda was confiscated from a villager in Blang Pidie on the west coast of Aceh who was keeping her as a pet."

You can find the latest World Nature Photography Award contest detail and winners at worldnaturephotographyawards.com.

This article originally appeared four years ago.






From Your Site Articles
photography
Education

Woman shares harrowing story of student loan debt doubling after her mom passed away

So many reforms don't address this fundamental issue.

Photo credit: Canva

This is why we need student loan reform.

College is expensive. Parents work multiple jobs, put pressure on their children to perform at the top of their class in order to earn merit scholarships, all in the hopes for college to be mostly paid in full. Inevitably many students and parents have to take out student loans in an effort to fill in the gaps left by financial aid.

In the case of one X user, Michelle Miller, her mother agreed to pay back half of Michelle’s student loans to ease the burden on the new graduate. After graduation the daughter owed approximately $30,000 and, split between the two of them, it meant they would each need to pay back $15,000.

Michelle lamented about how her mother insisted on paying back her agreed-upon portion of the student loans though the daughter offered to take over payments. When Michelle’s mother informed her that the original $15,000 turned into $40,000 after interest, Michelle decided to save money in preparation to take over payments. However, her mother refused to allow it. Miller’s mother was expected to pay $400 a month on the student loans, but this would cut into her retirement, leaving her below the poverty level.

To her mother, it was worth it to hold up her end of the bargain. Unfortunately her mother became unexpectedly ill and passed away before she was able to retire or pay back the loans. When going through her mother’s paperwork after her death, Michelle was met with a shock. The loan amount had doubled. Michelle’s mother hid that the interest rate on the loans had brought the grand total to $80k that she could never afford to pay back.

But this story is not unique. Many borrowers go into debt thinking the benefit of the degree will outweigh the burden of student loan debt but the cost of an education continues to skyrocket and the interest rate on loans makes paying it back nearly impossible. When you go to school and take out loans, you expect to be able to afford monthly payments and hope to pay it back in a timely manner, eventually freeing up income, but that’s not always the case. A lot of people find themselves in a similar situation as Michelle’s mother. They take out a dollar amount that is repayable, only to look up and see they’ve repaid the original balance but they still owe more than they originally agreed to borrow.

If stories like Michelle’s are the norm, why aren’t we doing more to regulate student loan companies? Presidential candidates like to talk about student loan forgiveness. And in a recent announcement, President Donald Trump said he planned to “immediately” transfer the country’s $1.6 trillion student loan portfolio to the Small Business Administration, an organization that not only has zero experience handling student loans, but will also have its workforce decreased by 43%. Which is concerning, assuming it gets passed.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

And even still, changes like these don't solve the long term issue of student loan practices. The truth of the matter is that children who three months prior had to ask permission to use the bathroom are now expected to understand the long term implications of borrowing money from a company that doesn’t care that the average person can’t pay it back plus interest.

Seventeen- and 18-year olds with a dream of attending college and questionable loan practices is a perfect storm for continued crisis in the student loan arena. Until we can figure out how to better regulate the lending companies in charge of student loans, the next generation will repeat the cycle. People shouldn’t have to choose between pursuing their dreams and taking debt to the grave.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
money
Joy

Pizza guy whose split-second decision saved a woman's life, gets the best reward possible

A woman gave him subtle hint to get help.

via WITI Milwaukee

Joey Grundl, Milwaukee pizza guy.

Editor's Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Joey Grundl, who was working as a pizza delivery driver for a Domino's Pizza in Waldo, Wisconsin, was hailed as a hero for noticing a kidnapped woman's subtle cry for help. It's a timeless story that continues to resonate with people today. In 2018, the deliveryman was sent to a woman's house to deliver a pie when her ex-boyfriend, Dean Hoffmann, opened the door. Grundl looked over his shoulder and saw a middle-aged woman with a black eye standing behind Hoffmann. She appeared to be mouthing the words: "Call the police."

"I showed up, it was a normal delivery, and saw this middle-aged couple," Grundl, 24, told NBC News. "I gave him his pizza, and then I noticed behind him was his girlfriend," Grundl told WITI Milwaukee. "She pointed to a black eye that was quite visible. She mouthed the words, 'Call the police.'" When Grundl got back to his delivery car, he called the police. When the police arrived at the home, Hoffmann tried to block the door, but eventually let the police into the woman's home.


dean hoffmann, wisconsin, mugshot, pizza guy, joey grundl, Dean Hoffmann's mugshot.via WITI Milwaukee

After seeing the battered woman, Hoffmann was arrested, and she was taken to the hospital for her wounds. Earlier in the day, Hoffmann arrived at the house without her permission and tried to convince her to get back into a relationship with him. He then punched her in the face and hog-tied her with a vacuum power cord.

"If you love me, you will let me go," she pleaded, but he reportedly replied, "You know I can't do that." He also threatened to shoot both of them with a .22 caliber firearm he kept in his car. The woman later told authorities that she feared for her life.


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

A day later, Grundl was seen on TV telling his heroic story, wearing a hoodie from Taylor Swift's "Reputation Tour" and her fans quickly jumped into action, tagging Swift in photos of the hero. Grundl already had tickets to go to an upcoming Swift concert in Arlington, Wisconsin, but when Swift learned of the story, she arranged to meet Grundl backstage and they took a photo together.

"She … she knew who I was," Grundl jokingly tweeted after the concert. "I'm thoroughly convinced Taylor gave me a cold."

"This has been one of the most exciting weeks of my life," Grundl said. "I'm legitimately getting emotional and I almost never get like this. But as the likely most memorable week of my entire life comes to an end … I guess I can really say … I'm doing better than I ever was."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


Hoffmann was found guilty of kidnapping, suffocating, harming, and intimidating his girlfriend and was sentenced to 28 years in prison. It was his first criminal charge. During the trial, his victim told the jury that she was "deathly afraid" of Hoffmann. In 2023, after being transferred to Waupun Correctional Institute in Wisconsin, Hoffmann died by suicide after 9 days in solitary confinement. Hoffman has a history of bipolar disorder and suicidal ideation, and his death has raised questions over whether the facility was equipped to deal with severe mental health issues.

This story originally appeared six years ago.

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