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7 myths you shouldn't believe about staying in a mental hospital.

Don't believe what you see on TV or in the movies.

I waited as the elevator ascended at an achingly slow pace. Anxiety filled my body, and I could hardly breathe.

When the doors finally opened, I stepped out, clutching my bag, expecting to see a creepy monochromatic clinical space filled with zombies and screaming people being held down by aggressive staff whose sole job was to control patients like caged animals. Instead, I was welcomed by a wall of bright, hand-drawn inspirational quotes and a handful of warm smiles from staff and other patients. I started to breathe again. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be.

Don't believe what you see on TV. There are no restraints here — just my stuffed animal and a journal. Photo by the author, used with permission.

Every hospital is different, but the one thing I can attest to after several stays at several different institutions is that psychiatric hospitals are nothing like they are portrayed in movies or on television.

There are many problems with the systems, and they are far from perfect. I won’t try to sugarcoat it, but they are certainly not as scary as has become common perception. They're not a vacation by any means, but they serve their purpose of keeping people safe and pointing them in the right direction without the straitjackets and padded cells.

Here are seven ways psychiatric hospitals today bust the myths of the asylums of yore.

1. Myth: Everyone in the “loony bin” is a drooling zombie.

Reality: When I used to think of mental patients, I envisioned the walking dead. Pale people shuffling around in robes and slippers with their zombie asses hanging out. I imagined staff drugging people into compliance to the point where they were just wandering around aimlessly staring off into space.

That couldn’t have been further from the truth. The patients I saw and got to know were vibrant and full of life. They were playing games and doing puzzles or chatting with loved ones. There were occasionally people around who were having a tough time as well. I saw people crying or even staring off into space from time to time, but because of dissociation or illness — not because they were forced into submission and drugged against their will.

2. Myth: Mental patients are all violent and dangerous.

Reality: People with severe mental illnesses are no more likely to be violent than any other people, and they're actually more than 10 times as likely to be the victim of a violent crime than the general population.

I’ve met really nice people at hospitals, some of whom have had anger issues for sure, but none of them were threatening at all. In fact, many were shy and reserved on the unit. Inevitably some people who enter psychiatric facilities will have a history of violent impulses or actions, but in my experience, the majority of the violent urges were people wanting to harm themselves, not anyone else.

3. Myth: Staff will force pills down your throat.

Reality:I recently had a roommate who didn't want to take a new medication she was prescribed ... so she didn't. I never once saw anyone forced to take medications or do anything they didn’t want to do. The psychiatrists meet with patients regularly to determine and maintain a path of treatment and the appropriate medication plan. But the doctors make med recommendations because it’s their job; they don’t force pills down anybody’s throat.

These are the pills I was prescribed — and chose to take. Photo via the author, used with permission.

4. Myth: ECT is a scary and violent punishment.

Reality: ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) is still a commonly used procedure at psychiatric facilities, especially for the treatment of resistant clinical depression and bipolar disorder, but it’s not like the movies. People are not dragged in as punishment, kicking and screaming. They’re not strapped down with huge leather straps, and they don't lie awake as their bodies go into seizure.

In my experience, I walked into a treatment room, laid down, and was given anesthesia so I wouldn't feel a thing. And the next thing I knew, I was in the recovery room. It still was a challenging and emotional experience, and I’ve had trouble with my memory ever since, but I wasn’t awake and zapped into submission.

ECT can also be incredibly helpful for some people. Jessica Bishop, a hospital mate of mine who has been hospitalized seven times, says, “ECT has been a lifesaver for me so far. I am able to function and hold down a part-time job. I recommend trying ECT if depression and sadness are overwhelming and too complicated.”

5. Myth: All hospitals are the same, and they keep you locked inside without access to fresh air.

Reality: In the movies, all mental hospitals look and feel exactly the same. In reality, there are many different kinds of hospitals. There are state hospitals, private hospitals, and residential programs. Some are unlocked, while others are locked. Some keep you inside all the time, while others have fenced-in outdoor areas. My last hospitalization offered guided walks with staff twice a day.

6. Myth: You’re stripped of your gadgets and denied contact with the outside world.

Reality: In all but one of the facilities I have been in, I was allowed to hang on to my phone and computer. At one facility, I could not keep any cords in my room, so I had to charge my gadgets one at a time at the nurses’ station, but at least I got to have them. I was allowed to speak with my family and friends as much as I was able, and I even blogged from the inside. I have kept my nonprofit online photography gallery Broken Light Collective going daily through three different hospitalizations. You can always find a way to make contact with the outside world if and when you want to.

7. Myth: You will go home “cured.”

Reality: I really thought I was going to do my time and then joyfully skip through the rotating hospital doors to the outside world in a happy and healthy place. It didn’t work like that for me — or many of the people I met.

What the facilities will do is keep you safe, adjust and/or monitor your meds, teach you coping tools if you are open to it, and then set you up with after care and send you on your way. After care can vary from partial hospitalization programs in which you go home each night, to intensive outpatient programs, to the care of your outside physicians. The hard work continues long after you leave the hospital. The hospital can help but is definitely not a quick fix.

If you do have to be hospitalized at one time or another, your hospitalization will be what you make of it.

If you take care of yourself, follow the rules, go to group meetings, and learn coping skills, you can come out in much better shape than how you entered. If you fight the hospitalization every step of the way, break the rules, and don’t attend your group meetings, you will likely not get too much from the program. I’ve done it both ways and highly recommend the former.

And if you have to go to a hospital, it’s really not the end of the world either. It’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

It might not be a great experience. It might be downright shitty. But there are nice patients and staff, even at the crummiest of programs. They’re not all zombies or pill pushers, I swear.

The bottom line is this: If you need to go, go.

If you ever think you need a higher level of care, just do what you need to do to start heading in the right direction. Don’t let your ideas about asylums from movies and television get in the way of your healing journey. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You deserve the chance to heal and move forward in a productive, meaningful, and hopefully happy way.

Staying in a mental hospital helped me get back on the path to healing. Photo by the author, used with permission.

Visit Sweden

Popular

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.

“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se

Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

From Your Site Articles

Health

Conflict experts share the 1 sentence that can stop an argument before things get heated

Here's how to shut it down before it starts.

via Canva/Photos

A woman skillfully stops an argument.

Has getting into a heated argument with your significant other, a coworker, or a child ever solved anything? Probably not. Heated arguments often lead people down the dark path of personal attacks, animosity, and getting so riled up that they stop making sense altogether. However, conflict is a natural and healthy part of our daily lives, so it can be very productive when we know how to have productive disagreements.

"If no one ever argues, you’re not likely to give up on old ways of doing things, let alone try new ones. Disagreement is the antidote to groupthink,” organizational psychologist Adam Grant said, according to Psychology Today. “We’re at our most imaginative when we’re out of sync." So the big question is, how do we prevent heated arguments from happening and steer them to more productive territory instead?

How to stop an argument from happening

A group of researchers at the University of Wisconsin found that it’s essential for people to create a safe environment to have a discussion, and the key to doing so is to ask open-ended questions that lead to points of agreement. Specifically, the researchers say to use “I” statements, such as “I feel frustrated” or “I feel concerned” when expressing yourself during the disagreement. But the best phrase is one that clearly directs the discussion toward agreement.

The best way to stop an argument is with the phrase: “I’d actually like to focus on all the things we agree on.”

conflict, arguments, disagreements Coworkers come to an agreement.via Canva/Photos

There are 3 big reasons why the phrase is so effective at stopping arguments from happening. First, the phrase immediately changes the mindset of both people from the areas where they disagree to one of agreement. We are no longer arguing about why we like or don’t like pineapple on pizza. Instead, we’re not focusing on the toppings we enjoy, such as pepperoni or black olives. The person we disagree with is no longer an enemy but a collaborator.

Another big reason “I’d actually like to focus on all the things we agree on” is such an effective phrase because it extinguishes the other person’s anger. When we search for a way to agree, we suddenly become an unappealing target for the other person’s rage.

Finally, this phase makes you the good guy in the disagreement because you are looking for a positive solution. You’ve just taken a right turn onto the high road and have become the rational party in the conversation. This tactic is especially effective when a third party, such as a boss or sibling, is involved in the disagreement and wants to see who is acting in good faith. This will encourage the person you’re having a dispute with to be more cooperative to save face.

conflict, arguments, disagreements Coworkers come to an agreement.via Canva/Photos

The key is to be genuine about looking for agreement and have a sincere tone when stating your approach. Once the potential fight has been quelled, you can work together to reach the best possible agreement.

Learning how to prevent heated arguments can strengthen the relationship with the person you disagree with. Resolving a conflict together makes their relationship stronger and more enduring. So, a conflict can be a gift that you can use to skillfully bring yourself closer to someone. The key is to focus on the areas of agreement and to be sincere so you can resolve the issue together without leaving any lingering resentment.

relationships

Pop Culture

Adults share things teens 'aren't ready to hear,' and it's some solid advice for all ages

'Social media is not reality and your entire life should not revolve around it.'

Photo by Sarah Brown on Unsplash

Some trends aren't even worth experimenting with.

With age comes the gift of wisdom, along with maybe a wrinkle or two. As we grow older we inevitably learn things about life that can only be taught through experience and time. However, passing along that hard-earned knowledge isn’t always easy. After all, when we’re younger, the world seems to be much more simple. We are not yet fully aware that things never stop changing—trends that were once "in" will eventually go "out" (and probably become a source of embarrassment). Or worse, they come back around as a as the latest “retro” or “nostalgic” trend. Ouch.

Of course, we’re not just talking about fashion or taste in music. Hopefully, we all expand our worldview after our teenage years, growing more mature, grounded, and less self-absorbed. That’s not always the case, of course, but it is the goal.

In 2022, now-deleted Reddit user u/Slight_Weight asked folks to share things that teens today “are not ready to hear” and honestly, I expected to find cynical, snarky “kids today don’t know anything” type of comments. On the contrary, a lot of it was really just tough love; much of the advice isn’t age-specific and fall into “be a kind human” reminders all around. Of course, other answers were just plain funny.

Check out 17 of the best answers. For the youngsters, just trust us on this. And for the…um…more refined crowd, you’ll probably relate to them all.

1. “Everything you do as a teenager will be cringe to your children.” – @divinetrackies

2."You won't 'feel' different when you're older, or have kids. You'll just be you, it's weird.” – @Poshspicer

3. “Today's eyebrows are yesterday's clown makeup.” – @Lardinho

Thick? Thin? Polka dotted? Which is it???

Giphy

4. "In 15 years you’re going to think the kids have gone too far and they’re going to think you’re old-fashioned.” – @neat_machine

5. “Getting good at stuff will take time. Sometimes lots of time. And sometimes, you'll spend lots of time on something, and you still won't get good at it. That's the human experience. Some things you struggle with will come very easily to others, but some things they struggle with will come very easily to you. Don't be mad that someone possesses skills you don't, and don't be a jerk for possessing skills that many other people don't.” – @OskeeWootWoot

6. “Nobody else wants to hear whatever TikTok you’re watching. Buy some headphones.“ – @EmiliusReturns

Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson puts on headphones

Okay, maybe the cute cat videos.

Giphy

7. "Being controversial isn't the same as being interesting.” – @HezFez238

I bet teens don't even know who this is.

Giphy

8. “School has a system in place to keep you from falling behind, life doesn’t.” – @Corey854

9. “Just because you fucked up does NOT mean you’re a fuckup.” – @Mr_Murder1

10. “Things will likely take significantly longer to achieve than you think.” – @Dull-College

11. "Life is NOT like a video game where you just keep leveling up. Sometimes, what you built will fall apart, and you will have to repeatedly do the same thing over and over…However, don't beat yourself up about it - this is normal. And with experience, you will also become more adept at facing and resolving problems, so each time the same problem repeats, you will be better at solving them.” – @EmpRupus

12. “Not everybody can be an internet sensation, somebody has to drive the dump truck.” – @Raggydasavage

13. “Social media is not reality and your entire life should not revolve around it.” – @RickGrimesSnotBubble

14. “One day you too will be old and uncool. And it'll happen faster than you think.” – @omguseries

Welcome to Cringeville.

Giphy

15. “Just because it's new to you doesn't mean it's new.” – @Broad_word_1690

16. “As you get older you just keep realizing how dumb you were last year.” – @Comparison_Past

17. “That heartache you're going through? It consumes everything now but it will be nothing but a footnote in the future. You'll rarely think about it later - & when you do, it won't hurt you. It's hard to hear that your pain isn't the worst in the world when you're feeling it. But it does help to know that it won't mean as much as it does in this moment.” – @st3washere1

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Family

Millenials share their boomer parents’ 15 quirky (and frustrating) habits they just don't get

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

via Canva/Photos

Boomer parents who don't like to travel, but say they do.

When it comes to intergenerational conflict, you never hear too much about Gen Z having a hard time with Generation X or the silent generation having beef with the baby boomers. However, there seems to be some problem where baby boomers and millennials just can’t get on the same page.

Maybe it’s because millennials were raised during the technological revolution and have to help their boomer parents log into Netflix. There’s also a political divide: Millennials are a reliable liberal voting bloc, whereas boomers are the target demographic for Fox News. Both generations also have differing views on parenting, with boomers favoring an authoritative style over the millennials' gentler approach.

A Redditor asked Xennials, older millennials, and younger Gen Xers born between 1977 and 1983 to share some quirks of their boomer parents, and they created a fun list of habits that can be both endearing and frustrating. The users shared that millennials are frustrated with their parents' abilities to use technology but are touched when they send them a greeting card.

Of course, it is reductive to reduce generations into a series of stereotypes, whether it’s millennials or baby boomers. But, for many, hearing that they aren’t the only person who gets frustrated with their boomer parents can be pretty cathartic and make them feel less alone.

Here are 15 boomer parent quirks that Millenials just don’t understand.

1. They save everything

"They save EVERYTHING (containers, jars, boxes, etc.) just in case they might be able to use it for something later. I feel like this habit was handed down from our grandparents' Great Depression upbringing."

"Absolutely! Shopping bags, empty yogurt containers, boxes that some product came in…..although I love me a 'good box!' I have all my iPhone boxes for no reason."

2. Scary texts

"Will text something foreboding like 'we need to talk;' then turns out she forgot a recipe."

"My dad will text me 'You need to call me right now' when it’s nothing. And not tell me major life events until well after the fact. Like my aunt had a heart attack and I found out a week later from her son. (And my dad did know.)"

3. Stranger death toll

"My mom is ALWAYS telling me about dead people I’ve never met. I really do not care. I know that sounds awful, but I don’t have it in me to be sad for everyone on the planet when they pass."

“You remember my friend Carol? Her aunt had that above-ground swimming pool in her backyard. We swam in it a couple times one summer when you were about 9. Anyway, Carol’s mom just lost her brother-in-law. They were very close. Thought you’d want to know.”

4. They don't travel

"They act jealous of us traveling but refuse to go anywhere."

"Ooh good one. Mine act jealous of anything we do/buy that they can't solely because they can't get out of their own way and actually make things happen."

5. They print everything

"My Boomer FIL prints out EVERYTHING from his computer. I understand printing out instructions or recipes to help remember but do you really need a file cabinet full of forwarded emails from friends and sale adverts from 5 years ago? Oh well, at least he keeps it organized. Also, both TVs in the house run 24/7 playing reruns of 'CSI: Who Gives a Sh*t Anymore?'"

"I'm not on Facebook, but my dad is. Last year, he made a celebratory post on my birthday and all his church friends liked and commented on it. He printed up the post and all of the comments, stapled it into a little book, and MAILED me the printed Facebook comments..."

6. 'From, dad' texts

"My dad sends text messages with, 'From, Dad' at the end of them. It cracks me up every time. He also states who he is every time he calls me."

7. Irrational fears

"One quirk my dad had was that he was deathly afraid of the house burning down. Not from the standpoint of the danger of fire but when he was growing up, if your house burnt down, you were basically homeless and destitute. My mom is much more level headed about it. She always told my dad, that is why we have homeowners insurance."

8. Expired food

"My mother-in-law doesn't throw out expired food. She has food in her pantry that is several years past their expiration dates. Same with condiments in her fridge. You just can't trust any of the food she has on hand because more than likely than not it's way expired. When we have brought this up, that she needs to throw some stuff out, she insists it's absolutely fine. It's not. "

"My grandmother is the same way. Once, she opened her refrigerator, and there was a jar of pickles with mold floating on the surface of the liquid. I pointed it out, and she said it was still good. She would just scoop the mold out at a later time. She has an incredibly strong stomach and immune system."

9. Smartphone addiction

"You always hear a kids 'these kids always on their damn phones.' But when it comes to phone addiction, boomers are far worse."

"My mom drives five hours to see us, then spends the whole time texting people from her church or looking at Facebook."

"I once sat in their living room for over an hour before they decided to put their phones down and speak to me, only to phub me and pick them right back up."

10. Rigid gender roles

"My dad still clings to the traditional division of 'men's/women's work.' He'll fix a car, do any outside work, clean out a clogged drain. Cooking? If it's any more complicated than making coffee or calling in a pizza, he can't/won't. I don't think he even grills anymore. Laundry? Hell no. Taking care of small children? He'll play with them but that's it."

11. The TV is constantly on

"In-laws leave the TV on for all waking hours. And FIL gets irritated if someone talks over the episode of MASH or Walker, Texas Ranger, that he's already seen 50 times. Like clenching his teeth and stomping the floor."

"TV on 24/7. Constantly flipping between some version of Law and Order, HGTV, and Guy Fieri. Asking me 'did you see that commercial where…' No mom. I don’t have cable. I don’t see commercials. All of the time."

12. They are always right

"My dad...he's has to be right about everything and doesn't know what to do if you beat him to the point on something. He once was giving me a recipe that required cinnamon, cardamon, and clove and told me just to use Pumpkin Pie Spice! It's the greatest thing! 'Dad, I don't need to. I have all those spices on hand (I bake)' But...no! You have to use this. 'No, I don't. I don't need to buy something that I already have" It happens all the time."

"My parents are always right and they are not impressed about anything."

13. Obsessed with the weather

"Yes, my dad should have been a meteorologist. He used to have a weather alert radio that would sound off in the middle of the night and he would watch the weather channel constantly. We all had to quiet down when your local weather forecast on the 8's came on. He gets really excited about severe weather like when we might get thunderstorms or a tornado."

14. One more thing

"Without fail, every time I'm leaving my mother's house and backing down the driveway, she comes back out of her house and stops me to say something else, even though we'd just spoken."

15. Mail stress

"My mom has an anxiety attack during the entire journey of a package or piece of mail she dispatched to me. No, she doesn’t know how to track. She will not rest until she knows that a package has arrived or a nominal check has been cashed. She calls when she is thinking about sending something, when she sent it, when it’s en route, and when it’s expected to arrive. God forbid it’s late. And if I don’t issue a prompt thank you, she will guilt me."

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Pop Culture

Girlfriend boots guy off Spotify each day, and he's cool with it for an adorable reason

Seeing her morning playlists became a form of connection

Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash

grayscale photo of man and woman leaning on vehicle

Sharing digital music with your partner or spouse can be a tricky business—just ask my wife, who (rightly) doesn’t appreciate when I abruptly change the song we’re blasting in the car. But in the case of one 20-something couple, an act of cooperative streaming is adorable enough to make you rethink your life choices.

Redditor Monhemus1 shared his tale in a post titled "My Girlfriend kicks me off my Spotify account every morning. I couldn’t be happier." At the time of his initial post (nearly three years ago), they both liked listening to music in the morning. The only issue: Their schedules weren’t perfectly aligned. "My day starts off much sooner than hers does," he wrote. "I’m usually about to the office by 6:30 a.m., which is about when she starts waking up. I’m one of the first people in the office, so I always put headphones on and listen to music as I start my day."

After about 15 minutes, his girlfriend would use that same Spotify account via Google Home, which notified Monhemus1 that the output device had changed. After she finished her morning playlist, he’d get his account back.

a laptop computer sitting on top of a bed Photo by Thibault Penin on Unsplash

Instead of being an inconvenience, this brief streaming hiatus became valuable for multiple reasons.

"I’m sure that she has no idea that she's participating in this little routine, and I have no intentions of telling her," he wrote. "Sure, it'd be easy to swap it to her account, but I love to know that she's awake and starting her day listening to her favorite songs. Another benefit of this is that I know what her current favorite songs are, so when we get in the car together or we're just sitting around, I know what songs will spark joy. Some days I think she's [on to] me. We’re both very happy together, and I plan on proposing here in a few weeks. I’m excited to spend the rest of my life with her."

After the post went viral on Reddit—earning 32,000 upvotes and almost 800 comments as of this writing— Monhemus1 shared some follow-ups, further elevating that uplifting slice-of-life story. "I PROPOSED TODAY!" he wrote, teasing their wedding planning. All of us at Upworthy hope the ceremony went well—and that they’re still madly in love and sharing that Spotify account. (We reached out via Reddit for an update, but we didn’t hear back by press time.)

But we have a good feeling about it. As Monhemus1 wisely noted in his initial post, "Love isn't some grand gesture, I've learned it's just a lot of little things that add up." A solid reminder to be more considerate with my car-streaming habits.

While we don’t know what music they were streaming, that bit of info could be helpful in analyzing romantic compatibility. According to a survey conducted by ticket retailer TickPick, “Only 2% of couples survived [a relationship] when each person had completely different music tastes. Moreover, couples who enjoyed music together saw improvements in their relationship satisfaction, emotional connection, and even communication.”

From Your Site Articles

music

Engineer writes bulletproof rant on why 'over' is the optimal toilet paper position

Tensile strength? Alignment stability? I'm convinced.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

The great toilet paper debate refuses to die. Whether to hang the loose end of the roll "over" or "under" has been inspiring heated disagreements for years. Some years, one faction or the other gains ground, but the opposing view never really gets snuffed out. It quietly regroups and comes back with a vengeance when we least expect it, and the toilet paper wars continue on.

Over the decades, many different kinds of experts have been enlisted into the conflict. Psychologists, anthropologists, marriage counselors, and doctors have been asked to weigh in on this debate repeatedly, each bringing a different perspective into why we all have such a strong preference on this topic, and the pros and cons of each.

Now the physical science experts are weighing in. An engineer from BFW Marcum recently unleashed an epic, totally unnecessary, and quite convincing rant about why there's definitively one correct way to orient your TP.

Elya, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Here's what the engineer had to say about the toilet paper over vs under debate.

"You—the dregs of society that put toilet paper with the flap situated under—you know what you’re doing is wrong," the screed begins. "You must feel it in your bones—some kind of primitive instinctual whispering in your ear. Just look at it—flapping in the breeze of your bathroom like some kind of sad white flag of surrender."

Then we get into the technical, engineer-y reasons that over is supposedly best.

1. Friction Coefficient: The coefficient of friction between the paper and the user’s hand is significantly lower when the paper is hanging over.
2. Tensile Strength: The tensile strength of the paper is optimized when it is hanging over, as the weight of the roll pulls the paper taut. This reduces the risk of tearing and provides a more consistent wipe.
We’ve all fallen victim to pulling off a ragged, possibly too-long length of toilet paper. Not only is it wasteful, but it could also very well ruin your plumbing.
3. Optimal Dispensing Angle: Studies have shown the optimal angle for dispensing toilet paper is between 10 and 15 degrees from horizontal, which is only achievable when the paper is hanging over. This ensures that the user can easily grab the paper and tear it off without awkward twisting or bending.
How do you explain to your peers that your carpal tunnel is not from your desk job, but from the terrible and unnatural way in which you hang your toilet paper?
4. Alignment Stability: When the paper is hanging over, the roll’s natural tendency is to unroll smoothly, reducing the risk of misalignment or uneven dispensing. This results in more efficient use of paper and less waste.

In short, you're more like to get a clean tear, less likely to waste paper, and less likely to get the roll all tangled up with the over method.

Is this all a bunch of gobbledygook, or is this real science? I'm not sure, but either way, it's pretty convincing. It definitely feels like hanging the flap over makes it easier to grab and tear without the roll spinning endlessly, and now I understand (kind of) why that might be.

Lest we actually settle the matter for good, it's worth noting that one physicist interviewed by Vice disagrees and says that, at least when it comes to mechanics, over or under toilet paper is exactly the same.

“Whether you hang toilet paper facing against the wall or facing forward, the rotational kinetic energy you impart on the roll is the same, and it requires the same amount of torque. They’re mirror images of each other, which means the amount of energy you have to expend is the same.” Brian Wecht said. Another physics professor interviewed in the piece more or less agreed, but added that the human element that comes into play is a wild card. The way people approach the roll, whether they're right or left handed, and how much force they apply when they pull and tear, it all factors in.

(I love the idea of highly educated scientists spending their time thinking about problems like this. Did you know that a nuclear physicist once shared a hilarious complex formula to determine if it's better to fold or wad or your toilet paper before wiping?)

Health experts have agreed for years that "over" is also the more hygienic alignment.

Apparently when the flap hangs behind or under the roll, it's harder to grab without accidentally rubbing your hand against the wall. And let's not even talk about the different kinds of bacteria and germs that live on bathroom walls.

Of course, with good hand-washing, this shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it's still a little icky.

The final piece of evidence lies in the original patent for the toilet paper roll, submitted in 1891 by a Mr. Seth Wheeler. You can clearly see that the inventor intended the free end to hang in the front where it would be easy to see and grab.

toilet paper patent image Public Domain

Ultimately, even if the physicists and engineers and NASA scientists all agree that hanging the toilet paper "over" is slightly better, we're talking about a very small difference in efficiency here. If you like the under method because it looks cleaner or keeps your kids from pulling at the roll, you probably aren't worried about a 1% differential in tensile strength and coefficient of friction.

The scientists might know physics, but they know little of the human heart. If hanging your toilet paper rolls under just feels right to you, don't let these nerds tell you otherwise.

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