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6 conversations I was forced to have with my kids about the election because of Trump.

Talking about this election with my kids hasn't been easy. What would you do?

One afternoon, my 8-year-old son came home from school and informed me that Hillary Clinton is going to ban cheeseburgers.

At least, that's what a kid at school told him. He wanted to know if it was true.

I know I'm not the only parent who's found talking to their kids about this election a little bit more "challenging" than anticipated. I presume that you, like me, are probably ready for this election to be over.

After the whole Hillary-banning-delicious-cow-sandwiches incident, I decided to let my son watch the beginning of the first debate with me so he could hear what Clinton really thinks. Unsurprisingly, Donald Trump made a bit of a bigger impression on him and didn't exactly set a shining example of what being presidential looks like. Trump spent the last hour of the debate attacking his opponent's health and threatening to say "really tough things" about her, which meant he was gonna say mean things about her husband (who isn't running for president right now).

She sat through three debates with him. That takes stamina. GIF via CBS News.

I worried what Trump would do to kick it up a notch in the second debate and what kind of example this was setting for my son and daughter.

Then some news broke about an old tape of Trump and a bus and Billy Bush and bragging about doing not OK things to women, and it was announced that those comments would be addressed in the first question at the second debate. I didn't feel confident that the conversation that ensued would handle the topic of consent responsibly.

Regretfully, I told my son he couldn't watch the second debate with me...

No. No it's not. GIF via NBC News.

...which turned out to be the right call.

It seems weird that I'd have to shield my children from what should be a very informative example of our democracy in action. Yet there I was, doing just that. The problem is, like many parents, I really want my kids to learn about the democratic process.

So what's a parent to do?

Here are six not horrifying conversations I had with my kids about democracy this election season. I hope you find them useful and/or adorable.

1. On fact-checking:

When your kid's primary source of gossip is other kids, it's important to make yourself accessible to answering any questions they might have. Here, something clearly got lost in translation on the playground.

8yo: Daddy, is it true Hillary Clinton is gonna ban cheeseburgers?
Me: Where did you hear that?
8yo: At school, Teddy said she was gonna ban all cheeseburgers and candy and guns and stuff.
Me: Ah, no. She’s not going to ban any of those things. She does want to fix the rules to make buying guns safer for everyone.  Teddy is confused.
8yo: Then why did Teddy say she was going to?
Me: Well, sometimes people get incorrect information. If you ever want to know if something's true, just ask me, we can look it up together.
8yo: Fine, can I punch you in the stomach now?
Me: No, that's only for before dinner.






For the record, a good punch in the stomach has provided me more thoughtful introspection than watching the debates.

You'll see on Election Day, Trump. SPOILER: It's not. GIF via CBS News.

2. On temperament:

As if it isn't hard enough teaching your kids about appropriate and inappropriate behavior, doing it while one presidential candidate is demonstrating all of the "don't" behavior is even harder.

4yo: Daddy, why is Donald Trump yelling at Hillary?
Me: Well, some people aren’t good at controlling their tempers and listening. You know how when you are upset, sometimes I have to get you to calm down before we talk?
4yo: Yeah?
Me: Well, Donald Trump isn’t good at calming down or listening. He wants to boss people around and make them do what he wants, even if it isn’t a good choice.
4yo: He should calm down and listen more.
Me: Yeah, he’s just not very good at that.




On the other hand, Trump has been a delightful role model of how not to behave, and my 4-year-old could really use that right now, what with how she responds to criticism like he does. 4-year-olds: Earth's adorable defensive irrational narcissists.  

Trump doing his best toddler impression.

3. On building walls:

Honestly, I'm starting to think my 8-year-old would've been a great debate moderator. He asks the obvious questions that a 70-year-old belligerent uninformed presidential candidate refuses to think about or answer.

8yo: Daddy, why does Donald Trump keep talking about a huge wall? Wouldn’t he have to build it into space? Otherwise people could climb or fly over it.
Me: Um … OK. Yeah, making a bigger wall is silly. But the more important thing to ask is why it’s there? Do you know what immigrants are?
8yo: They’re people who come to live here from other countries.
Me: Correct. So some of those immigrants come here from other countries like Mexico. And sometimes they come here without permission because they need to make money to send home to their families or want to feel safer than they did in their country or it's sometimes hard to find work where they live. And Donald Trump says that they want to come here to hurt people and steal things.
8yo: Do they?
Me: Nope. They actually pay $11 billion into the economy each year, and then they can’t use any of the stuff that they pay for because then they’d get in trouble.
8yo: What’s the economy?
Me: Um…






We'll talk about the economy when he's older. But at least he's thinking things through logistically, unlike some people we know.

Former Mexican President Vicente Fox explains a big hole in Trump's wall plan. (The current president of Mexico later seconded that motion.) GIF via Fusion.

4. On campaign ads:

I don't know about you, but here in Colorado, the commercials that run when we watch the nightly news lately have been not what I would call "family friendly."

If you believe the local attack ads, my congresswoman wants to protect child predators (she doesn't). Also apparently there's a ballot measure that will pressure people to end their life if they are terminally ill, even if they don't want to (it won't).

Neither of those things are true, but try explaining that to a kid.

8yo: Daddy, is this commercial talking about how Hillary is bad?
Me: Yes, but here's the thing: Never believe anything you see in commercials.
8yo: Why?
Me: Well, the folks who make political commercials like to only tell one side of the story and sometimes don't tell you what you really need to know.
8yo: Even Hillary commercials?
Me: Yes. They're probably telling stories a little better than Trump commercials, but they still will skip over important details. If you see it on a commercial, you should probably google it too and get the whole story.
[Commercial comes on about how my Democratic congresswoman is super stoked to let all the child murderers out of jail.]
Me (loudly, to drown out audio): HEY, KIDS! WHAT DID YOU DO AT SCHOOL TODAY, I WAS JUST WONDERING! WAS IT SUPER FUN?! DID YOU STEAL A CAR OR LIGHT THE BUILDING ON FIRE?! (Continues this charade for 30 seconds until awful ad goes away.)
Kids: DADDY, WHY DO YOU KEEP YELLING AT US?! USE YOUR INDOOR VOICE! WE DON'T STEAL!







Make the horrible stop! GIF from "Friends."

Obviously, the smart choice here is to just turn off the news until 2017, but where's the fun in that? Either way, my kids just learned a great lesson in doing their own research. And I learned that they don't steal or set things on fire. Maybe I am actually OK at this parenting thing?

5. On breaking glass ceilings and good role models:

This conversation just gave me all the feels. I don't know how my daughter was aware of the gender of all our previous presidents (although she does love the musical "Hamilton"). But she did the math. And then asked this:

4yo: Daddy, Hillary will be the first girl president?
Me: Yup.
4yo: I want a girl president for once. It’s about time. Also, Donald Trump keeps yelling and being mean.
Me: Yeah, he’s been making some bad choices lately.
4yo: Can you talk to him, please?
Me: Um….




I could try talking to him, but he doesn't seem to listen. Maybe he needs a time-out? GIF via NBC News.

She thinks politics are boring and is adamant that she won't run for president herself one day. I can't decide if I'm relieved about that or not.

6. On voting:

The most clutch part of being a citizen is the whole voting thing. So I sat down with my kids and went through the ballot section by section. (We have mail-in balloting in Colorado, which is so much more convenient). We have like 473,023 things on the ballot, including nine state ballot issues, a ton of judges, and 22 different presidential candidates. I walked the kids through the major initiatives, and then we got to president.

Me: OK. So for president, should I vote for Jim Hedges from the Prohibition Party?
Kids: WHO IS THAT?! NO!
Me: OK, what about Roque De La Fuente from the American Delta Party?
Kids: NOOOOO!
Me: What about Ron Silva from the Nutrition Party?
Kids: NOOOOO!
Me: What about Donald Trump?
Kids: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He's MEAN!
Me: So Hillary Clinton, then?
Kids: YES!!
Me: Why?
4yo: Because she's a girl!
Me: Do you have a better reason?
4yo: She's cute! And I want a girl president!
8yo: She's not cute! She's a grandma!
Me: Have any better reasons?
8yo: I just want her because you want her. I don't really know enough stuff about what she believes and stuff.
Me: That, sir, is an astute observation. When you get to vote for president, I hope you learn all the stuff first. Don't take my word for it.
8yo: OK, can I go play now?

















Full disclosure here: I have no idea if I'm doing any of this right.

Kids are impressionable. I don't want to turn them into little robots who spout talking points from political parties on the playground. I want them to be exposed to lots of different ideas. But I'd prefer if their beliefs come from an empathetic place that considers the greater good for all (I'm zany like that). Which is why I believe Trump is a poor choice for me personally. I'm planning on sending a clear goodbye message to him this year with my vote.

This is a metaphor for the message I hope all Americans send to Donald Trump on election day. GIF via Time/YouTube.

Obviously, like all parents, I'm making this up as I go. What about you? How have you handled it? Let me know. And please vote. That way we won't spend four years having to explain horrifying things to our children about topics they will have plenty of time to learn about when they are at the actual appropriate age to actually talk about them.

I'm gonna go let my kid punch me in the stomach now instead of reading what Trump said today on Twitter. If you were looking for something to do, this nonpartisan site will tell you where and how to vote. Please? And while you're at it, ask your friends how they handle these conversations.

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Visit Sweden
Visit Sweden
Education

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.

“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.


sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se


Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

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Education

Mom shares how her first grader's homework on the second day of school broke his spirit

"It's breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Photo credit: Cassi Nelson/Facebook

How much homework is too much homework?

Debates about homework are nothing new, but the ability of parents to find support for homework woes from thousands of other parents is a fairly recent phenomenon. A mom named Cassi Nelson shared a post about her first grader's homework and it quickly went viral. Nelson shared that her son had come home from his second day of school with four pages of homework, which she showed him tearfully working on at their kitchen counter.

"He already doesn’t get home from school until 4pm," she wrote. "Then he had to sit still for another hour plus to complete more work. I had to clear out the kitchen so he could focus. His little legs kept bouncing up and down, he was bursting with so much energy just wanting to go play. Then he broke my heart when he looked up at me with his big teary doe eyes and asked…. 'Mommy when you were little did you get distracted a lot too?!' Yes sweet baby, mommy sure did too! I don’t know how ppl expect little children to sit at school all day long and then ALSO come home to sit and do MORE work too…."

Nelson tells Upworthy that she was "shocked" that kindergarteners and first graders have homework, much less the amount they were expected to do. "We didn't have homework like this when we were in these younger grades."

Expert opinion and research is somewhat mixed on the homework front, but there isn't any conclusive evidence that homework is universally beneficial for students and too much homework can actually be harmful. As a standard, the National Education Association (NEA) and the National Parent Teacher Association (NPTA) support a limit on homework of “10 minutes of homework per grade level."

With that as a guide, a first grader shouldn't have more than 10 minutes of homework on any given school day, but it's not unusual for young kids to have two or three times the recommended limit of homework. That can be stressful for both kids and parents, cutting into valuable family time and limiting kids' time to decompress, play and freely engage in imaginative activity.

As Nelson concluded, "It’s breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Most parents and even most teachers in the comments agreed with her that four pages of homework is too much for a first grader, especially on only the second day of school:

"Poor little man. Children below a certain grade should not be given homework! Small children have a hard time sitting still for a long period of time yet alone expected to sit and do hours of homework, for what??? They are SMALL CHILDREN! Let them snack, play, laugh and all the other fun things when they get home. You are only a child once, they don't need that taken away from them. Let them embrace their inner creativity, imagination, recipes, etc."

"This breaks my spirit. Our schools are huge scams. You're exactly right Cassi. Homework is ridiculous. Kids til the age of 10 primarily learn through real life situations and play scenarios."

"I hate that for him! My little one has ADHD and doing homework after sitting in class all day is very stressful to him and makes him hate school. They are in school for 7 hours they shouldn’t have homework. That definitely takes away any kind of family time and that’s why kids never spend time with parents anymore because they have all this homework to do after being gone all day.I feel that if it can’t be done in the 7 hours they have the kids then it should wait until the next school day."

"I don’t make them do homework at home when they are that little. It’s not fair!They are at school allllll day! And it’s already sooooo much for their little bodies and brains! I’ve never had a teacher upset about it either.. and even if I did oh well!"

"That breaks my heart. 4 pages is absolutely ridiculous for young kids. My daughter is going into 2nd grade next month, the 2 years in school it was always 1 page of homework sometimes back and front if it was math. And to read."

This article originally appeared in August "I was in this boat with my son…conversation with the principal and teachers helped dramatically!! It’s too much and we have to advocate for them."

Nelson was blown away by the response to her post, which has been shared on Facebook over 89,000 times. "I NEVER thought me sharing my thoughts openly about how my heart hurt watching my little guy struggle would connect to so many others worldwide going through the same thing," she says.

Many parents shared that excessive homework is one of the reasons they decided to homeschool their children, which Nelson took to heart. The week after sharing her viral homework post, she shared that they had had their first day of homeschooling. It was "A HUGE SUCCESS!!!!" she wrote, with her son getting far more work done in a far shorter amount of time, sitting for classes for just 1 hour and 45 minutes total.

Nelson tells Upworthy she was totally intimidated to try homeschooling. "I seriously thought there was no way," she says. "But I knew I had to set my fear aside and just take the leap for my kids. I told myself I'd figure it out one way or another. And here we are three days in and it's been the easiest and best choice I've ever made."

Homeschooling is not going to the right solution for every family, however, so the question of homework remains an important issue for kids, parents, teachers and schools to work out.


This article originally appeared in August

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education
Pop Culture

Village People singer tries to deny that ‘Y.M.C.A.’ is a gay anthem and fails spectacularly

So, you're saying it's the ultimate gay anthem, right?

via Mario Casciano/WikimediaCommons

The Village People in 1978.

“Y.M.C.A.,” the 1978 disco smash by the Village People, has recently experienced a renaissance. In November, it hit #1 on Billboard’s Dance/Digital Song Sales chart after being prominently featured in Donald Trump’s rallies since 2020. Trump's dance, where he pumps his fists back and forth to the song, has also become a popular celebration dance in the sports world.

“You know what gets ’em rockin? ‘Y.M.C.A.,’” Trump said on a podcast in 2022, according to NBC News. “‘Y.M.C.A.’ gets people up and it gets them moving.” However, many people have noted the irony that Trump and his conservative supporters have embraced the song, given its reputation for being a gay anthem.



Who are the Village People?

The song was written by the Village People’s lead singer, Victor Willis who is straight and producer Jacques Morali who is gay.

The Village People is a disco group of predominantly gay men who symbolize American masculinity and macho gay-fantasy personas. The band is fronted by Victor Willis, who played a police officer, with backing vocalists and dancers featuring a cowboy, construction worker, native American, leatherman, and GI.



The band was put together to appeal to a gay audience that loved disco music, but their mainstream success meant that some in the audience missed the gay references but still loved bopping to massive hits such as “Macho Man” and “In the Navy.” Trump and his supporters' embrace of the song have many wondering if the Village People effect was happening again. Are Trump supporters oblivious to the fact that “Y.M.C.A.” is known as a gay anthem, or is it just not a big deal to them? While Trump himself has generally been supportive of gay and lesbian individual (he was the first Republican to feature a gay speaker at a presidential convention in 2016) the Republican Party has long been opposed to LGBT rights.



Is 'Y.M.C.A.' a gay anthem?

On December 2, 2024, Willis made a bold proclamation on his Facebook page, denying that the song was a gay anthem while simultaneously illustrating its undeniably gay roots. “There’s been a lot of talk, especially of late, that Y.M.C.A. is somehow a gay anthem. As I’ve said numerous times in the past, that is a false assumption based on the fact that my writing partner was gay, and some (not all) of Village People were gay, and that the first Village People album was totally about gay life,” Willis wrote.

“This assumption is also based on the fact that the YMCA was apparently being used as some sort of gay hangout and since one of the writers was gay and some of the Village People are gay, the song must be a message to gay people. To that I say once again, get your minds out of the gutter. It is not,” he continued.



Randy Jones, who played the cowboy in the group, tells a different story when discussing the song's origins. In 2008, he claimed he took Morali to the McBurney YMCA on Manhattan’s West 23rd Street around four times in 1977 and the producer was “fascinated” by the place.

“Plus, with Jacques being gay, I had a lot of friends I worked out with who were in the adult film industry, and he was impressed by meeting people he had seen in the videos and magazines. Those visits with me planted a seed in him, and that’s how he got the idea for ‘Y.M.C.A,'” Jones said.

Willis refutes the idea that Morali gave him the idea for the song in his Facebook post. “As I stated on numerous occasions, I knew nothing about the Y being a hang out for gays when I wrote the lyrics to Y.M.C.A. and Jacques Morali (who was gay) never once stated such to me,” he wrote. “In fact, Jacques never once told me how to write my lyrics otherwise I would have said to him, you don’t need me, why don’t you simply write the lyrics.”



Although Willis wrote the song and has the right to determine what it’s about, he does a poor job of claiming it isn’t a gay anthem after admitting it was written in collaboration with a gay man for a predominantly gay group in a genre with a big gay audience and an album called "Cruisin'" about a place that was known for gay hookups.

That is a helluva coincidence, don't you think?

Donald Trump Head Nod GIFGiphy

Further, regardless of Willis’ intentions with the song, it has been embraced by the gay community as an anthem. An artist can control what he creates, but how the audience reacts is beyond their control. When a group of predominantly gay men sings about a “young man” who can find “everything for you men to enjoy” and “many ways to have a good time” as they “hang out with all the boys,” it’s impossible to divorce the words from the context.

That’s the beauty of music. A song can have multiple meanings depending on who is performing it. On the other hand, if a traditionally masculine singer such as Rod Stewert or James Brown had sung “Macho Man,” it would have meant something entirely different back in 1978.

It’s also worth noting that Trump was not Willis’ preferred candidate in the election and he found his use of the song in the past a “nuisance.” He also doesn’t mind “that gays think of the song as their anthem” but that it was meant to appeal to “people of all stripes.” That being said, Willis says that starting in January 2025, any news organization that “falsely” refers to “Y.M.C.A.” as a gay anthem will be sued.

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music
Joy

Dog owner dressed up as dog's favorite toy and his reaction was seriously adorable

The life-sized Mr. Quackers was almost too much joy for Charlie to handle.

Charlie the Golden 18/YouTube

Charlie the golden retriever got to experience a life-sized Mr. Quackers and it was sheer joy.

The first thing you need to know about Charlie the golden retriever is that he loves Mr. Quackers. Mr. Quackers is Charlie's stuffed yellow duck. Charlie carries him around everywhere, he loves him so.

@charliethegolden18

I always so happ to see my lil bro 😋 #dogsoftiktok #petsoftiktok #dogs #goldenretriever





Anyone who's had a dog with a favorite stuffy knows that it's a bit like a child with a favorite stuffy. As long as the stuffy is there, all is well. If stuffy goes missing, all hell breaks loose. Nobody take the stuffy away. Nobody lose the stuffy. Nobody mess with the stuffy.

Where they go, their stuffy goes.

Where Charlie goes, Mr. Quackers goes.

That's just the way it is.

@charliethegolden18 Happens every..single..time 😂🙈 #dogsoftiktok #petsoftiktok #dogs #goldenretriever ♬ Quirky - Oleg Kirilkov

The attachment is real. Watch what happens when Charlie's buddy Buddy tries to mess with Mr. Quackers.

@charliethegolden18

Ain’t nobody touching my Mr. Quackers 😋 #dogsoftiktok #petsoftiktok #dogs #goldenretriever

"There, see it!" Oh, Charlie. His love for Mr. Quackers is unrivaled, which is why his owner decided to pull an incredible pet prank and dress up as Mr. Quackers himself.

@charliethegolden18

When your husband finds a costume that looks identical to your dogs favorite duck toy 😂 #dogsoftiktok #petsoftiktok #dogs #goldenretriever

The things we do for our dogs, indeed.

And when Charlie got to meet the life-sized Mr. Quackers? So. Much. Joy.

@charliethegolden18

Dressed up as our dogs favorite duck toy. Full video on FB & YouTube. Link in bio. #dogsoftiktok #petsoftiktok #dogs #goldenretriever

Charlie practically wagged his tail right off his body. And he never let go of the original Mr. Quackers the whole time—at least on TikTok.

The extended video on YouTube shows Charlie dropping Mr. Quackers and trying to get a hold of Huge Mr. Quackers by the neck. Not in an aggressive way—more like in a "Hey, lemme carry you around like I do Mr. Quackers!" kind of way.

And then the slow discovery that Huge Mr. Quackers smells an awful lot like his hooman … just too precious.

Animals can bring such joy to our lives, especially when we take the time to play with them. Thanks, Charlie's parents, for sharing this moment of adorable delight with us all.

Follow more of Charlie and Mr. Quackers' adventures on TikTok and YouTube.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Community

52 percent of people won't answer the door for a stranger. A cop says that's a huge mistake.

Pretending you're not home isn't the best idea.

officerarsenault/TikTok & Paul Downey/Flickr

Ask anyone Millennial and younger what the scariest sound in the world is, and you'll get some interesting answers. Your phone buzzing with an actual, honest-to-God phone call would be one. Someone unexpectedly knocking on your door would be the other. For many of us, when we look out the window and see someone we don't recognize approaching our house, the instinct is to pretend we're not home.

Door-to-door salesmen and solicitors are still shockingly common, and the only thing worse than an unexpected knock from a stranger is that same stranger being a pushy and aggressive salesman who won't take No for an answer! So staying quiet and waiting for them to leave seems like a reasonable strategy to avoid anxiety and conflict.

A police officer on TikTok just issued a word of caution for us introverts who like to hide out from knocking strangers: "Don't do that."

Officer Randall Arsenault, a former policeman from Canada and a super popular TikTok creator, shared the warning in a recently reposted video.

"Somebody comes to your home during the day, knocks on the door, rings the doorbell, and you don't answer because you don't want to be bothered? Don't do that, OK?"

"Two minutes later, they kick in your door, it's a daytime break and enter, happens all the time. ... They get inside your house, they panic, not expect anybody to be there, bad things can happen."

It's sound advice. Most home intruders, believe it or not, aren't looking to hurt anyone and would rather avoid a potentially violent confrontation. They'd much prefer an easy chance to walk around and take what they want. So by pretending to not be home, you actually make yourself a perfect target.

@officerarsenault

WARNING! Extremely important message. #onthisday

Which... is a total bummer if you get knock-anxiety.

"Ugh this is an introverts worst fear. Having to interact with people when they don’t want to," wrote one commenter.

So what should you do instead?

"Yell through, wave them off through the window, act like you're on your cell phone already," Officer Arsenault says.

In other words, alert them to your presence in any way that you can! That doesn't mean you fling the door open and invite them in. But making noise or even speaking to them through the closed and locked door are good ideas. Some people who are home alone will even pretend to speak (loudly) with a spouse, partner, or friend who's not actually there. Call for your "dad" or "husband" to come over, and that's often enough to spook low-level burglars.

Chances are, the person knocking is just a salesman or doing some political canvassing. But handling those unexpected knocks the right way could be a legitimate lifesaver.

A recent survey by YouGov found that less than half of Americans are willing to answer the door when a stranger knocks. Over a third will ignore them, and another 17% aren't sure.

man's eye looking through peepholeMario Heller/Unsplash

The dividing lines among generations were fascinating in the study.

Less than 10% of Baby Boomers reported feeling afraid when receiving unexpected knocks (though they were high on annoyance, to no one's surprise — I'm pretty sure they invented the No Soliciting sign).

15% of Millennials said they felt afraid when someone knocked on the door, and over 20% of Gen Z said the same. Younger generations also reported much higher rates of feeling confused at IRL knocks.

On the plus side, younger generations also feel more excited when people knock on their doors. It's unique and novel, so there's an immediate sense of possibility that's always fun — a bit like getting actual mail in your mailbox that's not a bill or an advertisement.

You can point to the rise of social media and texting, plus the COVID-19 pandemic, as a big reason for a dropoff in in-person interactions. Millennials and Gen-Z are less comfortable with unexpected encounters because they're so much more rare. Our friends and family almost always call or text before they come over, so it makes sense that a random knock might give us a scare.

Officer Arsenault's safety advice is more pertinent than ever as the generations that hate answering the door become apartment-renters and homeowners.

Our anxiety at dealing with annoying solicitors and potential evil-doers is totally justified, but our usual coping method of ignoring isn't a good solution. Screening calls and sitting on texts is all well and good, but when it comes to our homes, we have to proudly announce our presence for our own safety!

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Pianist shares the surprise note he received from his neighbor with a very specific request

He thought it was going to be a noise complaint.

Photo credit: Canva, Reddit

More neighbors stories like this, please.

A pianist had been practicing in their apartment, when they noticed a handwritten note had been slipped under their door from a neighbor in the unit. Understandably, this person had fully anticipated being told to “knock it off,” “keep the noise down,” or some other version of a complaint. After all, isn’t that the only reason neighbors reach out to one another nowadays?

But much to their surprise, this note wasn’t a complaint at all. But merely a “humble request” for the pianist to play “Liebestraum No. 3 in A flat.” Pleasantly surprised, the pianist did just that, and it was met with a raucous applause coming from a balcony a few stories up.

The pianist was so taken aback by the “lovely” gesture that they shared it, along with the note, to folks online. Needless to say, they found it equally wholesome.


A humble request (:
byu/Toast_n_mustard inMadeMeSmile


“That makes my heart smile 😻,” one person commented on Reddit.

“Love this! We need more of this,” shared another.

Still another wrote, “I can imagine it so perfectly. The quiet little slide of the note, the pause of space waiting if the pianist will accept their request, the mystery of never knowing who either person is but connected by the love of music.”

A few others could recall a similar kind of fondness felt when hearing their neighbors play live music.

“I lived in an apartment complex that had a field next to it. One Sunday I got woken up by bagpipe music. Someone was standing in the field playing the best bagpipes I ever heard! By the time I got dressed to go out and watch he was gone,” one person wrote.

Meanwhile, another said, “One of my neighbors has a side business tuning instruments so I often hear him playing his piano or various string instruments (mostly violin), and it's really nice. Coming home from a crap day at work is easier when I can hear some nice music now and then.”

It was such a simple act on the neighbor’s part, and yet, it made such a profound and positive impact—not only on the pianist’s life, but the lives of those whole bore witness to the story. And it goes to show that while, yes, maybe playing excessively loud and thrashing music into the wee hours of the night isn’t going to go over well if you’re an apartment dweller, sharing something lovely might be a perfect way of uniting with folks you might have never otherwise spoken to.

And for those curious, “Liebestraum No. 3 in A flat” sounds a little something like this:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Yep. The only proper way to respond to hearing this in your apartment building is with enthusiastic clapping. They seriously got a classical music concert for free!

And remember—while we might more frequently hear stories of neighbors being annoyed with each other, or flat out never interacting at all, there are plenty of moments happening just like this one. Strangers coming together, connecting, and enjoying life.

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