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5 incredibly delicious chain restaurants you should never, ever eat at and 1 you should but can't

You know you want to. But sorry, you can't.

Fast food. It's kind of a big deal here in the USA.

A moment of silence, please. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.


And who could blame us? Fast food is, to use a scientific phrase, tasty as all get out.

But some chains, well. It's painful to admit, but they're bad for us.

Not because they're slowly clogging our arteries — we already knew that. Bad for us in the metaphorical heart, not the literal heart. Cosmically bad for us. Bad for us in that they pretend to be our friends, but in reality, they're talking behind our backs about how we have a weird-shaped face or whatever.

They're doing bad, shady things to the world is the point.

They are delicious. So so so so so so delicious.

But you can't eat there. You just can't.

#6. PAPA JOHN'S

Why it's so delicious:

If there's one belief that my big Italian family managed to drill into my brain when I was a kid, it's that chain pizza tastes about as good as an old rusty piece of sheet metal. Or maybe a used napkin, on a good day. And, like a fool, I never questioned it.

Until I met the "The Meats."

Oh. Hello there. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

The Meats is a pizza. From Papa John's. It is a pizza full of meat.

Here are the list of meats on The Meats:

  1. Sausage
  2. Pepperoni
  3. Beef
  4. Bacon
  5. Canadian bacon
  6. Eagle (probably)
  7. Sacrificial lamb (pretty sure I tasted that)
  8. Unicorn (definitely)

So yeah. That's it. Naples can pretty much just close up shop. There's just no more need.

Pack it in, boys. We're done here. Photo by Inviaggiocommons/Wikimedia Commons.

Oh, and see that little cup in the corner?

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

That's Papa John's special garlic sauce. It's basically garlic, butter, and chemicals that bring your grandmother back to life so that you can tell her you love her one last time, giving you that sense of closure you always needed. That's how good it is.

Papa John's also sells something called a "Cinnapie."

Suggested serving si— oh, never mind. Who am I kidding? Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

It's a cinnamon bun. The size of a pizza.

Needless to say, I totally didn't eat the whole thing in a single sitting. What are you looking at? Stop looking at me like that.

Why you can never, ever eat there:

Like most of America, I always assumed "Papa John's" was just a generic name ideated up in some corporate copy factory. Possibly tied into a mascot of some kind. A pizza-tossing horse maybe, with a vaguely racist mustache. Needless to say, I was extremely surprised to learn that Papa John is an actual human.

His name is John Schnatter, founder and CEO of Papa John's. And in a move that just screams "humility," he put himself on all the pizza boxes.

Of course this is him. Of course it is. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

In August 2012, Papa John got on the phone with a bunch of reporters to talk about the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare.

"Oh," you're probably saying to yourself, "I bet he wanted to discuss how awesome it is that, under the law, his kids can stay on his insurance until they're 26. Or how the law is expected to dramatically lower health care spending nationwide. Or maybe just gush about how happy he is for the millions of people who will now suddenly be covered for the first time in their lives. I bet that was what that was about."

Nope. He mostly wanted to explain that Obamacare means you'll be paying more for pizza. And you're gonna like it.

Byron Tau, Politico:

"If Obamacare is in fact not repealed, we will find tactics to shallow out any Obamacare costs and core strategies to pass that cost onto consumers in order to protect our shareholders' best interests," Schnatter vowed.

Specifically, 11-14 cents more. Which means ... sorry University of Minnesota-Twin Cities Cribbage Club, the cost of next Wednesday's pizza-n-chill info sesh just increased by about $1.56. Thanks, Obama!

Oh, and Schnatter also implied that some franchisees would cut worker hours to get out of having to provide them with health care required for employees working over 30 hours a week under the ACA. Of course, he later clarified that he wasn't saying he would cut their hours personally but, you know — it's out of his hands.

Nice prescription plan you got there. Shame if something happened to it. Photo by Ildar Sagdejev/Wikimedia Commons.

Now, you might be thinking, "Well, sure, that's harsh, but look. He's just trying to do the best he can in a shaky economy. If he's asking his employees and customers to take one for the team, I'm sure he's making an even bigger sacrifice somehow. Because Papa John is a leader. And that's what leaders do." And naively, I assumed that too.

Until I found out about his house.

Sarah Firshein, Curbed:

"Schnatter lives in a 40,000-square-foot castle on 16 acres in Kentucky; the property includes a 22-car underground garage ('complete with an office for valet parking, a car wash, and even a motorized turntable to move limousines') and a 6,000-square-foot detached carriage house."

That's right. Papa John is Batman.

Now, numbers are just numbers. It's hard to get an idea of what 40,000 square feet looks like without actually seeing it in real life.

Thankfully, I used to live about 20 minutes away from Papa John, so I drove to his house and took a picture.

Like most rich people's homes, it is blocked by a sh*t ton of bushes. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Just trust me. It's a freaking enormous house. You can Google it.

I certainly don't begrudge the guy having a garish, cream-colored mansion the size of a small moon. Hell, I have one too in my dreams. But dude. You're gonna live in that thing and then threaten to nickel-and-dime your customers and employees on pepperoni prices and healthcare? Bad optics. Bad, bad optics.

It's like that old sailor saying, "A captain always watches the ship go down with all his crew screaming inside of it as he soars away in his private helicopter."

Don't eat at Papa John's. I know you want to. I want to. But don't. Just don't.

#5. SONIC

Yes, please. Let's go to Sonic right now.

BEHOLD! The mighty bacon cheeseburger toaster! Gaze ye upon it in all its glory! A third-pound patty of heavenly manna slathered in barbecue sauce on two slices of Texas toast.

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

And what's this in my cup holder? Is this the fabled CHERRY LIMEADE OF LEGEND? Miraculous lime wedges and a maraschino cherry sinking beneath the roughly crushed ice pellets into a sea of pink sugary mirth? Verily, do not look directly at it, or it will surely blind you.

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Oh, hey — look! Some onion rings. Cool.

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Sorry, bub. No more Sonic. Not ever.

Fast food is delicious. We've already established that. But the typical fast food experience? Usually leaves something to be desired. Take a burger, wrap it in some paper, and slap it on a tray. Maybe you squirt some ketchup into a thing, and that's the highlight.

But not at Sonic. Sonic has a concept.

You see, Sonic is a drive-in. And you get car-side service. From carhops. Just like in the '50s.

All of these children are currently collecting Social Security. Photo by ftzdomino/Flickr.

Indeed, very little has changed at Sonic in the past 60-odd years.

Including salaries for Sonic carhops.

As of May 2014, the median hourly wage for fast food workers in America was $9.19/hour. Which is objectively terrifying. But compared to comparable employees at Sonic, other fast food workers are straight up building motorized limousine turns in their 40,000-square-foot castles.

As of June 2015, Sonic carhops made roughly $6.70/hour on average, according to Glassdoor. Even as a survey estimate, that's far less than the (already meager) federal minimum wage and state minimum wages in all but eight states.

How is that even legal? According to multiple former carhops, and at least one official complaint, because Sonic crew members bring the food to you (often on roller skates), they are classified as tipped employees at some stores and therefore exempt from minimum wage requirements.

Which begs the question. Do people tip Sonic carhops?

Maybe. Maybe not. At the very least, it is the subject of great confusion on the Internet.

Sonic certainly doesn't make it easy either. Here's what happened when I tried to pay at Sonic's automated credit card reader back in March...

No receipt. No place to tip.

At this point, you're like, "Ooh, burger!" and proceed to forget about your fiduciary responsibility to your fellow humans. But even if you do remember when the carhop eventually brings out your receipt, there's no tip line.

Both times I went, only the customer copy came out. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

So you have to tip in cash. Which you might or might not have. At least that's what happened to me when I went (for ... uh, research).

No matter how you look at it, it's really difficult to tip at Sonic. So lots of people just don't do it.

To confirm this suspicion, I creeped on the guy next to me.

Not him. But this is a public domain image of the truck he was driving. Photo by IFCAR/Wikimedia Commons.

And sure enough, no tip. Nada.

Stop going to Sonic, everyone. Stop it right now. Don't even think about it.

I know you're thinking about it. Stop.

#4. WENDY'S

Wendy's is amazing.

Wendy's is all like: We're the Target to McDonald's Walmart. Sure, we look similar, but our food just seems ... better, doesn't it? Healthier and more ethical, somehow. You can totally trust us. We'll even sell you a baked potato if you want!


But instead, you get this. And no jury in the world would convict you. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Wendy's is an infernal den of smoke and mirrors.

Wendy's: We actually pay even less than McDonald's does.


Average crew member salaries. McDonald's photo by Cruiser/Wikimedia Commons [altered]. Wendy's photo by Mike Mozart/Flickr.

Ha! Gotcha hook, line, and sinker, you fast food hippie!

#3. CRACKER BARREL

You guys. Cracker Barrel. Cracker Barrel, you guys.

Quick, here's a pop quiz. How much food can you get for $8.99?

Six! Six dishes! Ah ah ah! Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

If you responded "all of it," congratulations, you have won. If you are among the folks historically lucky enough to be at Cracker Barrel right now, you can avail yourself of meatloaf (solid), chicken and dumplings (delicious), fried okra (heavenly), and a big piece of ham ('nuff said). Also baked beans, turnip greens, and two corn muffins. All for less than nine dollars.

"But Eric," you might whine, "All that food is so ... beige."

Yeah. Beige like a fox.

Not beige. Photo by digitalprimate/Flickr.

Listen. There is nothing that looks less appetizing than classic American comfort fare. It's mushy, brown, and smells kind of like baby food. But it is freaking delicious. If you want texture and vibrant colors in your food, go eat pad Thai.*

*Seriously, go eat pad Thai. Pad Thai is delicious. You should always be eating pad Thai.

Also, have I mentioned this?

There's your color, you jerks. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

That's raspberry sweet tea. If you could take the feeling you get when your aunt Helen presents you with a hand-knit sweater on Christmas morning and liquefy it, that's what you'd get. Free refills too! You could, and should, have eight of those.

Seriously? Don't go to Cracker Barrel. What were you thinking?!

I'll tell you why in a minute. But first we have to talk about segregation.

Photo by Jack Delano/Wikimedia Commons.

Segregation. One of the darkest chapters in American history. Under the pretense of separate-but-equal, white leaders in the South excluded black Americans from nearly all aspects of public life. But after decades of heartache, violence, and struggle, thanks to the historic efforts of Martin Luther King Jr. and other civil rights leaders, segregation was finally legally abolished in 1965.

Except at Cracker Barrel, which waited until 2004, when the U.S. Justice Department told them, "No, really. Now stop."

Fox News:

"At least 42 plaintiffs, including the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, accused the Lebanon, Tenn.-based company of discrimination in federal lawsuits filed in Georgia. Black customers in 16 states also said they were subjected to racial slurs and served food taken from the trash, while Cracker Barrel management ignored or condoned such actions.

The announcement comes four months after the company settled a Justice Department lawsuit accusing Cracker Barrel of similar discrimination claims at dozens of restaurants, mainly in the South. That settlement found that black customers at many of the country store-themed restaurants were seated in areas segregated from white patrons, frequently received inferior service and often were made to wait longer for tables. Blacks who complained about poor service also were treated less favorably than whites, the settlement said."

"OK," you're probably saying. "Fair enough. But that was over a decade ago." (Side note: 2004 was over a decade ago. You are so old.) And you'd be right! Cracker Barrel hasn't been accused of serving black people food from the garbage or segregating its dining rooms since Usher's "Confessions Part II" was on the radio. A lifetime ago (if you're a medium-sized dog)!

But while Cracker Barrel has undeniably gotten better, let's just say the road to full enlightenment has ... taken a weird detour in the past few years.

You see, Cracker Barrel isn't just a restaurant. It's also a store. A country store. The kind ma and pa used to run out back behind Old Murdoch's soda fountain, as imagined by the VP of branding of a multimillion-dollar biscuit corporation.

You might also be familiar with a little show on the A&E Network called, "Duck Dynasty," about a talking beard and his family...


Photo by Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons.

...who murder your favorite Sesame Street character over and over again.

Please don't kill me. I love you. Photo by Tom Morris/Wikimedia Commons.

It turns out the talking beard has opinions on more than just eliminating Donald, Scrooge, Daffy, Darkwing, and all the McDuck triplets from God's green earth, which he expressed in a 2013 interview with GQ:

“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I'm with the blacks because we're white trash. We're going across the field. ... They're singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, 'I tell you what: These doggone white people'—not a word! ... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues."

This, understandably, ruffled a few feathers (presumably, Robertson later shot the duck said feathers were on).

But times change. This isn't the '60s anymore (or, in Cracker Barrel's case, the early '00s). And mercifully, Cracker Barrel did the absolute minimum amount of the right thing they could possibly do and pulled some (not even all!) Duck Dynasty merchandise from their stores.

Until, like, a day later when they put it all back.

Corinne Lestch, The Daily News:

"Company brass did an about-face on Sunday — re-shelving the goods and apologizing for 'offending' any customers...

'You flat out told us we were wrong. We listened. Today, we are putting all our Duck Dynasty products back in our stores. And, we apologize for offending you,' officials wrote in a statement posted on its Facebook page."

Backbone, ladies and gentlemen. Curvy, weird duck backbone.

Since that was two years ago, I went back the other day to see if maybe Cracker Barrel had quietly phased out the Robertson's T-shirts and hoodies when no one was paying attention. But sure enough...

One day, I'll make Duck Admiral. One day. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Boom. Still there.

For maximum effect, they are shelved right next to the military swag.

Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Because putting your life on the line to defend the United States of America from enemies at home and abroad is about as noble as mowing down a bunch of waterfowl with a high-powered semi-automatic.

Minus 7 bazillion for that, Cracker Barrel. But hey! Plus one for stocking Goldenberg's Peanut Chews.

The bomb. Dot edu. Photo by Eric March/Upworthy.

Those things are my jam.

If you go to Cracker Barrel, we are so not talking. Yep. You heard me. The camping trip to Red River Gorge is going to be awkward.

#2. CHICK-FIL-A

The Chick-fil-A original chicken sandwich is the pinnacle of human achievement.

The pyramids. The Magna Carta. The Apollo missions. PlayStation 4. This season of "The Bachelorette."

Combine them all. Multiply by 10. Sprinkle with holy water and shoot them out of a cannon into the sun. What you get is not even worth half the pickle chip on a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich.

Your move, Ancient Egyptians. Photo by Jay Reed/Flickr.

Between those two unassuming buns is an explosion of salt, fat, umami (whatever the hell that is), and the overwhelming feeling that justice has been done somewhere in the world. If they could speak, any chicken would surely tell you that being hacked up into tiny bits, deep fried, and stuffed in this sandwich is like getting into Chicken Princeton.

In fact, the first bite of any Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich is such a sacred experience that they close all the restaurants on Sundays.

And I haven't even mentioned the waffle fries.

You know what? Best not. Best not even mention the waffle fries. Photo by Jay Reed/Flickr.

OMIGOD, you guys, you can absolutely never, ever, ever eat at Chick-fil-A.

Look. I'm not naive. I know that, deep down, most of my favorite brands are probably giving lots of money to nightmarishly evil causes on the sly.

My favorite brands. Also, I have favorite brands? Gross. Image by J.J./Wikimedia Commons.

I have to believe Apple just put a down payment on a giant coal plant somewhere in China. I'm sure Doritos wants to repeal the estate tax. And dollars to doughnuts Krispy Kreme is investing in Sudanese cobalt mines. But at least I can take comfort in the fact that it's not personal. It's just what's best for business.


Business. Photo by thetaxhaven/Flickr.

Chick-fil-A is one of those brands. But what sets Chick-fil-A apart is that their donations have nothing at all to do with putting more money in the hands of their obscenely wealthy top brass and everything to do with making sure Dan at the register and Leon at the drive-thru window can't file their taxes together even though they love each other deeply.

Josh Israel, ThinkProgress:

"As Chick-fil-A's corporate foundation came under heavy criticism last year for its long record of anti-LGBT behavior, the company attempted to distance itself from its political record, claiming it intended 'to leave the policy debate over same-sex marriage to the government and political arena.'

But despite suggestions by some that the company's WinShape Foundation had already scaled back its anti-LGBT giving before that point, its newly released annual IRS filings for 2011 indicate nothing of the sort...

In 2011, the group actually gave even more to anti-LGBT causes. Its contribution to the Marriage & Family Foundation jumped to $2,896,438 and it gave the same amount to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and National Christian Foundation as it had in 2010. In total, the anti-LGBT spending exceeded $3.6 million — almost double the $1.9 million from the year before."



Look, I give Chick-fil-A a lot of latitude. After all, they make an absolutely bomb chicken sandwich.

Still,  I'm really not sure I want them to weigh in on whether Leon gets to visit Dan in the hospital when Dan is 97 and has terminal shingles.

Now, unlike most of the other examples on this list, Chick-fil-A got big press play. There were boycotts, counter-boycotts, and counter-counter-boycotts. Which prompted CEO Dan Cathy to reach way down deep and do some soul searching.

The conclusion he came to?

"You know what, I just realized we're a chicken company. Probably best not to get involved after all."

"Cathy agreed that the 'lingering identity' of Chick-fil-A with 'anti-gay groups' that jumped to its defense in 2012 has meant 'alienating market segments.'

'Consumers want to do business with brands that they can interface with, that they can relate with,' Cathy said. 'And it's probably very wise from our standpoint to make sure that we present our brand in a compelling way that the consumer can relate to.'"

And Chick-fil-A made good on its word — sort of.

According to their tax documents from 2012, Chick-fil-A only donated to one anti-LGBT group that year. That's down from — and I'm using a technical term here — a buttload in 2010-2011.

But that's still one more donation to an anti-gay group than a reasonable chicken sandwich company should be proffering.

So keep up the fire. Do not eat at Chick-fil-A.

Believe me, I know it hurts. But stay strong.

#1. IN-N-OUT BURGER

It gives me no pleasure to break this to you, but you probably can't eat at In-N-Out Burger.

Photo by Zink Dawg/Wikimedia Commons.

"Wait, nooooooo! I love In-N-Out," you might be thinking. "I thought they were actually pretty good corporate citizens."

"I'm going to punch you in the face if you tell me I can't eat at In-N-Out," you might also be thinking.

And I don't blame you. Because In-N-Out is so freaking good. But please. Just go with me here. I promise I'll explain everything. You've made it 4,000 words. Bear with me for a few more. It's all I ask.

In-N-Out Burger: cheesy meat patty of the gods.

This is what a triple-triple from In-N-Out looks like.

Stop it. Photo by Christian Razukas/Flickr.

This is it. The most delicious burger on the planet. You can keep your Shake Shacks, your Five Guys, and your Smashburgi. This is truly, madly, deeply the one.

If you actually took one of those burgers and put it under a microscope, this is what you would see.

If you zoomed even further in, you would learn the exact moment you were going to die. To this day, no one has done it. Painting by Johann Liss/Wikimedia Commons.

And the best part? The burgers are super cheap.

There aren't enough superlatives in the world to do the place justice. There is no greater pleasure in this world than the taste of an In-N-Out cheeseburger. That's a fact.

And I've been to a Bon Jovi concert.

So what's the problem? Why can't I eat at In-N-Out??!?!

You can't eat at In-N-Out Burger because you are probably among the approximately 76% of Americans who don't live in California, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, or Texas.


And coming soon, Oregon! Photo by Dave Sizer/Flickr.

As your West Coast friends probably never fail to remind you every single day of your life, In-N-Out burger is their secret special thing.

Dear God. Please. Shut. Up. Image via Thinkstock.

And as much as I hate to admit it, they're basically right. As of June 2015,  In-N-Out burger is only available in five states. And, statistically speaking, you probably don't live in one of them.

It's a massive shame for the rest of us. Because compared to most of its chain brethren, In-N-Out is basically a choirboy, straight-A-student role model.

Sure, In-N-Out is a multimillion-dollar meat factory like the rest of 'em. But, relatively speaking, In-N-Out has a lot going for it. A lot going for it.

It is one of very, very, very few high-profile companies in America owned by a woman.

It's food is also reasonably locally sourced and fresh, even earning praise from "Fast Food Nation" author Eric Schlosser.

And, perhaps, most importantly:

The average In-N-Out crew associate makes $11.61/hour(as of June 2015, according to Glassdoor). Not super great in the grand scheme of things but a fortune by fast food standards.

In-N-Out proves that it is possible to operate a profitable, reliably delicious fast food chain in 2015 and not be a complete ethical idiot.

Plus, let's not forget...

#Neverforget. Photo by Christian Razukas/Flickr.

Here's my advice. Move to California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, or Texas right now. Or Oregon, to jump the trend. And go get yourself an In-N-Out Burger.

You will thank me tomorrow.

And every day. For the rest of your life.

Holly Morissette/LinkedIn
When a Patagonia employee breastfed her baby in a meeting her male VP's response was a masterclass in workplace values

Years after first engineering it, Patagonia's approach to the "family-friendly workplace" is on a whole new level that still deserves our attention - and praise. Unfortunately, parents all over the U.S. are struggling with burnout, high costs, unreliable childcare, poor paid leave, and more — in short, they're hanging on by a thread. But it's extremely reassuring to know that there are still some companies that value parents in the workplace and are fighting hard to keep them happy.

The outdoor clothing and gear company has made a name for itself by putting its money where its mouth is. From creating backpacks out of 100% recycled materials to donating their $10 million tax cut to fight climate change to refusing to sell to clients who harm the environment, Patagonia leads by example. It's made them not only an admired brand when it comes to values and integrity, but a beloved one with its own customers, who are fiercely loyal.

That dedication to principle is clear in its policies for parents who work for them, as evidenced by a 2019 viral post from Holly Morisette, a recruiter at Patagonia.


patagonia, workplace, office, career, benefits, paid leave, parental leave, parentingPatagona has always done a great job taking care of its employeesYukiko Matsuoka/Flickr

Morissette's stunning story begins with bringing her baby into a meeting at the office and proceeding to breastfeed as the team around her continued to discuss ROI, KPIs, EBITDA, and all those other acronyms corporate office culture loves so much.

That's when a male colleague took note of what she was doing.

Morrissette described the incident later on LinkedIn:

While nursing my baby during a morning meeting the other day after a recent return from maternity leave, our VP (Dean Carter) turned to me and said...”There is no way to measure the ROI on that. But I know it’s huge.”

It got me thinking...with the immense gratitude that I have for on-site childcare at Patagonia comes a responsibility to share a “call to action”. A PSA to tout the extraordinary benefits that come along with not asking employees to make the gut wrenching decision to either leave their jobs or leave their babies. TO HAVE TO LEAVE THEIR JOBS OR LEAVE THEIR BABIES. That perhaps just one person will brave the subject with their employer (big or small) in the hopes that it gets the wheels turning to think differently about how to truly support working families.

That with a bit of creativity, and a whole lot of guts, companies can create a workplace where mothers aren’t hiding in broom closets pumping milk, but rather visiting their babies for large doses of love and serotonin before returning to their work and kicking ass.

It’s no wonder that Patagonia has 100% retention of moms. Keeping them close to their babies keeps them engaged. And engaged mothers (and fathers!) get stuff done.

Thank you, Patagonia, for leading the way.

patagonia, kids, children, parenting, employee benefits, company culture, parental leave, paid leaveWhile nursing my baby during a morning meeting the other day after a…www.linkedin.com


The post gathered massive attention on social media where commenters were smitten, if a little jealous:

"I was never so confident to nurse during a meeting, but I love that you were. I especially love the response. No different than an adult eating a protein bar. No one should bat an eye."

"I am in absolute awe over your story and I thank you so much for sharing it. We go to work to support our families, but we stay with great companies because they support us as people, as humans, and they see us and appreciate us where we are at. Beautiful."

"Amazing! How I wish I had this with by kids. One of my "fun" memories was when I worked for an insurance company with no room available for nursing moms. I pumped 3 times a day in an empty office with no window shades nor a lock."

Just the first eight words of Morissette's post are extraordinary. "While nursing my baby during a morning meeting..."


the office, office, workplace, career, parenting, working moms, breastfeedingNot sure if Dwight Schrute would be as accomodating.Giphy

As if that's totally normal. As if everyone understands that working moms can be much more engaged and efficient in their jobs if they can feed their baby while they go over sales figures. As if the long-held belief that life and work must be completely separate is a construct that deserves to be challenged.

And then the comment from her male colleague about the ROI (Return on Investment) of breastfeeding—witty, considering the time and place, and yet so supportive.

On-site childcare so that parents don't have to choose between leaving their jobs or leaving their babies. Letting life integrate with work so that working families don't have to constantly feel torn in two different directions. Flexibility in meetings and schedules. Allowing for the natural rhythms and needs of breastfeeders. Making childcare as easy and accessible as possible so that employees can be more effective in their jobs.

All of this seems so profoundly logical, it's a wonder that more companies have not figured this out sooner. Clearly, it works. I mean, who has ever heard of a 100% retention rate for mothers?

But that's not all folks! Patagonia has extended its support for parents in recent years by allowing up to a staggering 16 paid weeks off. Parents and non-parents alike also enjoy top-notch healthcare, college tuition reimbursement, and so much more.


Patagonia founder discusses why the company's values are so importantwww.youtube.com

The company could almost be a case study in employee retention when it comes to parents. Experts say the things workers value the most in their career when they have children are paid time off, flexible scheduling, and help with childcare.

One more thing that makes a huge difference? A great manager who understands and supports the parent's needs. In this case, maybe one who doesn't flinch at a breastfeeding mother in the workplace.

Patagonia's got it goin' on. Let's hope more companies take their lead.

This article originally appeared on six years ago.

Tom Cruise

Not only can Tom Cruise do his own stunts, he's a good therapist too. His Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One co-star, Haley Atwell, has revealed that she, like so many of us, struggles with social anxiety. On the Reign with Josh Smith podcast, she discusses how it often overwhelms her and makes her want to retreat.

Tom Cruise, mission impossible, stunt, stunt man, actor, filmTom Cruise Mi GIF by Mission: ImpossibleGiphy

But she was saved by incredibly insightful advice from Tom Cruise, which she imparts to the audience. After describing him as a positive "hair dryer" just blowing his positive energy around, Josh asks, "What's the best pep talk he's given you?" Haley answers, "Social anxiety tends to be something that people talk about a lot at the moment. It seems to be quite a buzzword of conversation."

They both agree that everyone has some version of anxiety, whether it's in a big group of people, a new work environment, or even just around a small group of friends. She confesses, "For me, I start to retreat into myself and overthink. 'Do I look weird? Do I seem awkward?' I'm not speaking, I'm just muffling my words or I need something to numb me from this.'"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Luckily, Cruise has quite a simple way to combat these feelings. "The pep talk he gave me helps, which is that if you walk into a room and feel the anxieties coming, try doing the opposite. Try to look OUT and look around the room and go, 'Where is it? Where is the thing I have attached to my insecurity?'"

The idea is to pinpoint the place where her (or any of our) anxiety might be rooted. "Is it that person over there who reminds me of my high school bully? Is it that person over there who didn't give me a job once?" Once the source is recognized, if possible, Cruise suggests asking yourself, "Where does it live outside of me, and where do I feel like the source might be coming from?"

Haley emphasizes that examining her fear, which Cruise encourages, truly helps the anxiety subside. She continues, "If I look at it for long enough, the anxiety then can have a name. It can have a label and be contained, instead of free-floating, where I'm just in a total struggle internally with my own anxiety." Seeing through this prism, she shares, "If I’m scared of something, if I keep looking at it long enough, it tends to not be the monster under the bed anymore."


Actress, Hayley Atwell, social anxiety, mental health, actingFile:Hayley Atwell.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

Naming the emotion, whether it's jealousy, loneliness, etc., can help you outwardly address it so that it doesn't fester in your mind. She reiterates Cruise's words: "If you're scared of something, just keep looking at it. Try not to look away, and it will often give you information about how to overcome it."

Cruise's advice isn't all that different from many professional therapists. In the blog post, "How to overcome social anxiety: 8 tips and strategies" (clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA, for Calm.com,) ideas on how to overcome social anxiety are given and number one on the list could have been written by Cruise himself: "Identify your triggers," they write, explaining, "The first step to managing social anxiety is understanding what sparks it. Triggers can be unique to each person. Some might find large gatherings intimidating, while for others, it might be public speaking. To identify your triggers, keep a journal of your feelings and the situations that make you anxious. Recognizing these triggers is a crucial step in managing your reactions to them."


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They also suggest, among other ideas, breathing techniques such as the 4-7-8 method: breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 7, and breathing out for 8. They also advise "challenging negative thought patterns." They explain, "Practice challenging these thoughts. Ask yourself: 'Is this thought based on facts or feelings? What's the best thing that could happen?' Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can help reduce feelings of anxiety."

Movies

Julie Andrews said she literally could "feel the evil" when visiting the Von Trapp house

The story behind the movie might be more interesting than the movie itself.

Image via Wikicommons

Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music

Sometimes the story behind the movie is more interesting than the story in the movie.

In her autobiography, Home Work, Julie Andrews shared some of her experiences filming The Sound of Music. Andrews spoke with BuzzFeed News about her book, revealing her thoughts on the actual von Trapp family house. The movie musical, which is based on a section of the real-life Maria von Trapp's book, The Story of the Trapp Family Singers, was shot in a Hollywood studio.

The classic scene of Julie Andrews spinning in a meadow was shot in Bavaria, and the exteriors of the von Trapp house were filmed at a different house entirely.


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Andrews did visit the von Trapp house in Salzburg, Austria later on in her life.

"It wasn't until much later that I happened to visit the real villa where they actually lived," she told BuzzFeed News. During her visit, Andrews said she could "feel the evil that once permeated those walls." The evil Andrews refers to is, of course, the Nazis. "Because after they fled the country, which they had to do, as in the film, [Heinrich] Himmler took over that villa, and the atrocities there were just terrible," she continued.

The story behind the von Trapp house is much darker than what's touched on in the splashy Hollywood musical. The actual von Trapp family lived in the house from 1923 until they fled Austria in 1938. In 1938, the Nazis annexed Austria, making life hard for the singing family. Georg von Trapp refused to fly the Nazi flag on his house, and declined a request to sing at Hilter's birthday party. There was fear their neighbors would spy on them and their children would become brainwashed by Nazi politics. Even though the family was offered fame, they decided to stay true to their principals and leave Austria.

Julie Andrews, The Sound of Music, musicals, Germany, World War 2, Nazi Germany, Von TrappChristopher Plummer and Julie Andrews on location in Salzburg, 1964upload.wikimedia.org

Not one year later, the house was occupied by Nazis. Heinrich Himmler used the house as his summer residence until 1945.

Himmler was the second most powerful man of the Third Reich. Himmler set up and ran the Nazi concentration camps. The house was surrounded by armed guards and barbed wires. A barracks for the SS was built in the garden. Himmler also built the white wall around the house using slave labor. After the wall was completed, he had those who constructed the wall shot. Very monstrous.

Now, the von Trapp house is a more peaceful place. In 1947, the property was purchased from the von Trapp family by the Missionaries of the Precious Blood. In 2008, it opened to the public as a hotel.


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While the house has a heavy history, the previous residents of the property took satisfaction in knowing the von Trapps resisted the Nazi party. "What Himmler did here is a heavy weight on the house," Precious Blood Fr. Andreas Hasenburger, the rector of the Kolleg St. Josef, told the National Catholic Reporter. "But we are also proud to live in the von Trapp house, the house of the man who said no to the Führer."

It takes a lot of guts to stand up for what you believe in, especially when you're pressured to forfeit your integrity. Knowing that the family gave up their life to stay true to their principals makes The Sound of Music so much better.

This article originally appeared five years ago.

Sometimes the simplest gesture can mean the world.

Staying in an Airbnb can be an adventure, sometimes for the worse but often for the better. The Internet is full of both heartwarming and horrible experiences people have had renting spaces from strangers—or having strangers rent spaces from them—but the popular short-term rental platform is a poster child for the "sharing economy" and the human connections that can come along with it.

One example of how staying at a stranger's house can lead to a beautiful interaction comes from two young women who stayed at an Airbnb in Finland. Jessica Judith shared a video of her and her travel companion singing "Happy Birthday" to an elderly man over a cake filled with candles.

"Our Airbnb host was alone on his birthday," Jessica shared in the caption, "and God knew to put two women who care too much about birthdays to celebrate with him." The women clapped and sang, then hugged the man before he blew out his candles.

@jess.judith

Tarmo fue el mejor host que he tenido en airbnb, nos llevo a ver los reindeers y todos los dias nos esperaba en su casa con cafe y galletitas listas, te queremos mucho Tarmo! que honor poder celebrar tu cumpleaños contigo!! kiitos kaikesta


"Tarmo was the best host I ever had on airbnb," the caption reads. "He took us to watch the reindeers and every day he was waiting for us at his house with coffee and cookies ready. We love you so much Tarmo! What an honor to be able to celebrate your birthday with you!!! Kiitos kaikesta."

(Kiitos kaikesta means "thanks for everything" in Finnish.)

The video was viewed over 32 million times as people chimed in with positive feedback on the women's thoughtfulness.

"I learned some people host Airbnb because of loneliness not money. I had the sweetest host one time who was just lonely and wanted company. Y’all made his whole year."

"You guys just gave that man a core memory."

"My soul 😭 he is someone’s baby 😭 I know his late momma was smiling down. All I could see is the little boy in him here. 😭🤍🤎 you two did a beautiful thing that’ll he’ll never forget. 😭💕"

birthday, blow out candles, birthday cake, little boy, babiesHappy Birthday GIFGiphy

"As a mother , knowing he’s someone son and was once just a little boy thank you for being so kind 🩵 I hope if my son was every alone [on] a birthday then someone would show him such kindness as you."

"This is how we’re supposed to live as humans 🥹."

"This should be an airbnb commercial."

"This is literally what airbnb was created for btw to bring people together."

Even Airbnb commented with, "When the guests make the host feel hosted 🥹."

What we don't see in the video is how the women communicated with their host. He didn't speak any English and they didn't speak Finnish, so they used translation apps to talk to one another. In another video, Jessica shared a bit more about their sweet host.


@jess.judith

la experiencia mas bonita


"This is Tarmo," she wrote. "He was our Airbnb host in Finland. He lives alone with his dog Peppi and his daughter set up this Airbnb (little cottage next to his house) which he takes care of the cleaning. He always had the table set with coffee and pastries waiting for us. He doesn't speak English but we used a translator and would have amazing conversations. Everything was so special and at the end of our stay he said, 'I hope this is not the last time I see you in this lifetime.' Best Airbnb experience ever."

As a short-term rental host and someone who has stayed at countless Airbnbs while traveling, I can attest to the fact that some guest-host interactions are truly special. As a host, I once had a guest from China who insisted on cooking my family a 3-course Chinese meal from scratch. As a guest, I rented a home in Greece with my family where the owner's mother, who lived on the property, would bring us fresh-baked Greek pastries from the local bakery every other morning with the warmest smile and most gracious welcome. As both host and guest, my experiences have been overwhelmingly positive.

The sharing economy can be wonderful when people are open and welcoming to the experience of connecting with others, and Tarmo and his kind guests are a perfect example.

Time is really all about perception.

You're scrolling along, minding your own business on the internet, when this little chestnut comes across your timeline: "1980 and 2023 are as far apart as 1937 and 1980. Sleep tight, old fogies!"

Wait, what? Your first reaction is, "That can't be right," so you pull out the calculator and do the math yourself—several times because you're sure you must've missed a number somewhere each time. You remember how long ago 1937 seemed in 1980, and there's absolutely no way that much time passed between 1980 and 2023. Buy you're wrong. As the warped reality of time washes over you, you sit in stunned silence, contemplating the existential crisis you've just been thrown into.

Why does time work this way? Why does it seem to get faster and faster and condense to make decades seem shorter and shorter as we age? And perhaps more importantly, how the heck do we stop time from feeling like a runaway freight train?

Here are a few theories about what creates the freight train phenomenon and what to do about it.

Time perception is relative—and kids perceive it differently

"Time flies when you're having fun" is a saying for a reason. Time also drags when you're doing drudgery work and feels like it stands still in moments of significance. And yet the ticking of seconds as they go by doesn't change tempo. We measure it with steady, unchanging beats, but how it feels changes constantly.

kids playing, time passing, perception of timeTime moves more slowly for kids.Photo credit: Canva

This relativity exists in every passing moment, but it also exists in the bigger picture as well. The years felt like they passed by much more slowly when we were children, and by middle age, they feel like they pass in the blink of an eye. The pandemic gave us an even greater sense of this relativity as disruptions to our normal routines and the stress associated with the COVID-19 years messed with our sense of time. (On an odd side note, surveys show that our time perception during the pandemic varied a lot from place to place—people in some parts of the world felt that time moved more slowly, while others felt time moved more quickly.)

According to a 2023 Hungarian study published in Nature Scientific Reports, very young children perceive time differently than older children and adults. Researchers split 138 people into three age groups—pre-kindergarten, school-age and adults 18 and over—and showed them two videos of the same duration, one that was "eventful" and one that was "uneventful." Interestingly, the pre-K group perceived the eventful video to be longer, while the older children and adults saw the uneventful video as longer.

The way the study participants described the length of the videos in gestures was also telling. Young children were much more likely to use vertical hand gestures, connoting volume or magnitude, to indicate a length of time than the other two age groups. School-aged kids and adults tended to use horizontal gestures, indicating time as linear, increasing with age.

Our neural processing slows down as we age

Professor Adrian Bejan has a theory based on how neurons process signals. As we age, our neural networks increase in size and complexity and, as a result, process visual information at a slower rate. That slower processing means we create fewer mental images each second than we did when we were younger, thereby making time seem to slow down.

time, time perception, science of time, aging, neural processing, youth, lifespans, female aging, woman's face over the yearsA woman slowly ages over about 15 years.assets.rebelmouse.io

“People are often amazed at how much they remember from days that seemed to last forever in their youth, Bejan shared with Harvard University. "It’s not that their experiences were much deeper or more meaningful; it’s just that they were being processed in rapid fire.”

In other words, processing the same number of mental images we did in our youth takes longer now, somewhat counterintuitively making time seem to pass more quickly. So goes the theory, anyway.

It might simply be about time-to-life ratios

Another popular theory about why time feels different as a child than it does as an adult is the ratio of any given day, week or year to the amount of time we've been alive. To a 5-year-old, a year is 20% of their entire life. For a 50-year-old, a year only is 0.2% of their life, so it feels like it went by much more quickly.

hands, clocks, passage of time, age aging, old age, time perception, time fliesAn elderly person's hands holding a small clock.Photo credit: Canva

It's also a matter of how much change has happened in that year. A year in the life of a 5-year-old is full of rapid growth and change and learning and development. A year in the life of a 50-year-old probably isn't a whole lot different than when they were 48 or 49. Even if there are major life changes, the middle-aged brain isn't evolving at nearly the same rate as a child. A 50-year-old looking back at the past year will have a lot fewer changes to process than a 5-year-old, therefore the year will seems like it went by a lot faster.

“Our perception of days, weeks, years and that kind of time seems to be especially influenced by our perspective: Are we in the moment experiencing it, or are we looking backward on time?” psychology professor Cindy Lustig told the University of Michigan.

The key to slowing it all down? Be mindful of the present moment.

Lustig has a point. When we are in the moment, our perception of time is much different than when we look back. So, being fully conscious in the present moment can help us rein in the freight train effect.

One way to do that is to be mindful of your physical existence in this moment. Feel your heart beating. Feel your breath going in and out. Cornell University psychology professor Adam Anderson, Ph.D., conducted a study that found our perception of time may be linked with the length of our heartbeats. (Study participants were fitted with electrocardiograms and asked to listen to a brief audio tone. They perceived the tone as longer after a longer heartbeat and shorter after a shorter one.) He suggests starting a stopwatch, closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing for what you think feels like a minute. Then, check your time to see how accurate your estimation was.

Breathe World Series GIF by MLBGiphy

“This can give you a sense of how much your experience of your body is related to your experience of time,” Anderson told WebMD. “It will help teach you to enjoy the pure experience of time.”

You can also use focused breathing to purposely slow down your heart rate, and thus slow down your time perception. “We show that slow heart rates—that is, a longer duration between heartbeats—dilates time, slowing it down," Anderson said.

We can also alter our perception of time by taking in novel experiences, such as traveling to new places. According to Steve Taylor, author of Making Time: Why Time Seems To Pass at Different Speeds and How to Control It, people who go on adventurous trips report that their vacations feel longer than those who choose a predictable destination. You can also make small changes to your daily routine, such as trying new foods or taking a new route home from work to take in some new stimuli and slow your perception of time.

A study in 2024 found that people who do intense exercise experience a time warp, feeling like they exercised longer than they really did, so if you want to temporarily slow down time, you can push your body hard during a workout.

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Finally, try to take in the world the way you did as a small child. Take note of life's wonders. Engage fully in whatever you're doing. Notice details and take mental pictures as much as you can. Time goes by fast when we're distracted, so training our attention on the here and now can help. Ultimately, we can strive to perceive time more like we did when we were little, in its full depth and magnitude instead of a narrow, straight line.

This article originally appeared last year.